Chapter 340 (2): Writing as if Assisted by the Gods
Chapter 340 (2): Writing as if Assisted by the Gods
Chen Ping'an wandered around for several kilometers, practicing the six-step walking meditation as he slowly returned along the official road. He felt refreshed and reinvigorated.
He took a few extra glances at the silhouette of Fox Town in the distance.
Chen Ping'an was barely able to stop himself from taking out a Yang Energy Illumination Talisman—his only Illumination Talisman made from golden talisman paper—to investigate the mighty figures hiding in Fox Town. If a powerful demon with a strong cultivation base was genuinely hiding there, then ordinary Illumination Talismans wouldn't necessarily be able to detect their presence.
In any case, the fact that a noble scholar from the Great Subduing Academy was keeping guard here was proof that the mighty figures hiding in Fox Town were definitely stronger than the so-called great demons in Colorful Garment Nation.
However, Chen Ping'an immediately stopped himself from using the Illumination Talisman. If a profoundly powerful demon was genuinely hiding in Fox Town, then activating that golden Yang Energy Illumination Talisman would serve as both a warning and a provocation. Was Chen Ping'an so bored as to actively seek trouble for himself? Moreover, golden talisman paper was incredibly precious, and each one he used would mean one less in his possession. Chen Ping'an naturally wouldn't waste his treasures like this.
After returning to the inn, Chen Ping'an felt a big headache forming as he sat on the door threshold.
As it turned out, Pei Qian and Zhong Kui were sitting at a table together, with Zhong Kui sipping wine as he led the little girl astray. Pei Qian was listening with full concentration, and it looked as if she were being enlightened to something.
"Do you know why a noble person never resorts to violence?" Zhong Kui asked.
"Because scholars are bad at fighting," Pei Qian replied.
Zhong Kui lowered his voice and revealed in a mysterious tone, "The true implication of this saying is that noble people can kill their opponents through words alone."
"Noble people are that impressive at arguing? They can even scold people to death?" Pei Qian asked in puzzlement.
Zhong Kui placed a foot on the bench, a smug expression on his face as he raised an eyebrow and gestured for Pei Qian to pour him some wine. Only then would he answer her question.
Pei Qian rolled her eyes with an expression of disdain. She shot a sideways glance at Zhong Kui, as if her tanned little face were asking him just who in the world he thought he was.
Zhong Kui didn't get angry, and he pointed at Pei Qian's tanned face as he laughed and said, "You're the only one who doesn't want to suffer even a minor loss, huh?"
However, Pei Qian did indeed get angry, and immediately stood up and bent down to swat Zhong Kui's finger away.
Zhong Kui shuffled his body and continued to point at Pei Qian. Meanwhile, Pei Qian continued to flap her arms around as she swatted the noble scholar's finger away.
Looking over from the counter in the distance, Jiu Niang didn't think that Zhong Kui's childlike innocence at this moment was something that would impress a woman.
However, his ability to mess around with Pei Qian showed that he most likely wasn't a very bad person.
Pei Qian had never come across such a shameless scholar before, and trying to swat his finger away again and again caused her to eventually pant in exertion. She returned to her seat and snickered, "Since noble people are so impressive, why is it often said that it's better to offend a noble person than to offend an evil person?!"[1]
Zhong Kui smiled faintly. "Because they haven't come across me."
Pei Qian grimaced and said, "Yeh, bullshit. Have you even read as many books as my dad?"
Zhong Kui slapped himself on the cheek. He was rendered speechless. Well, it seemed more likely that he felt too ashamed to face those sages honored in the Confucian temples. "I admit defeat."
Chen Ping'an walked over to Jiu Niang and retrieved some silver that he had prepared earlier. Jiu Niang didn't try to refuse his payment this time. It was only twenty or thirty taels of silver, so she had no option but to accept this since the benefactor of the Yao Clan insisted. She smiled bitterly and said, "Young Master Chen, I hope you can take care of Lingzhi for me when you travel to the capital with the Yao Clan's convoy. She's a proud person, and indeed a little unlikeable. However, I hope you can accommodate this unreasonable request of mine."
Chen Ping'an nodded and agreed to Jiu Niang's request. He then smiled and extended his hand.
Jiu Niang was completely baffled.
Chen Ping'an smiled and said, "Taking care of Miss Yao for you will cost at least twenty or thirty taels of silver. It wouldn't make sense to charge any less than this."
It had already been many years since Jiu Niang had smiled so happily. She forcefully slapped the silver back into Chen Ping'an's palm and chuckled in amusement. "Oh my, Young Master Chen! Who would have thought that you are a brilliant businessman as well?"
Chen Ping'an genuinely accepted the silver and put them away before remarking, "One needs to make money in a principled way when traveling outside."
Zhong Kui turned around to look at the joyous and harmonious interaction between Jiu Niang and Chen Ping'an. He then turned to the kitchen and hollered, "Remember to bring me a bowl of vinegar when you serve breakfast in a moment. I want a big bowl!"[2]
After everyone finished eating breakfast, the rumbling sound of horse hooves on the official road outside the inn became increasingly loud and clear.
It was almost time to say goodbye.
Chen Ping'an suddenly remembered something, so he turned to Zhong Kui and asked in an uncertain voice, "Can you please write a couplet for me?"
The scholar in azure was a noble scholar from a Confucian academy, after all, so Chen Ping'an presumed that he was extremely good at calligraphy. In that case, Chen Ping'an could treat a couplet from Zhong Kui as a good omen for the coming year.
Zhong Kui's eyes lit up, and he asked, "Are you going to pay me?"
"Just how much of a money-grubber are you?!" Jiu Niang chuckled in anger.
Zhong Kui sheepishly jogged over to the counter before rubbing his hands together and saying, "Jiu Niang, give me a brush and some ink."
Jiu Niang rewarded him with a roll of her eyes. "You're the so-called accountant of the inn, can't you find these things yourself?"
There were indeed calligraphy brushes, ink, and blank red couplet paper in the inn. This was because the hunchbacked Third Grandpa would personally write couplets whenever it was New Year. He was Yao Zhen's third younger brother, so it was only natural that his writing was extremely good.
Even though the Yao Clan was a large military clan on the borders, this didn't stop them from placing a heavy emphasis on literary studies. If the members of the Yao Clan were nothing more than crude martial artists, then there was simply no way that they could adeptly set up military formations and employ military strategies.
However, Chen Ping'an told them that there was no need to prepare brushes and ink. He already had these things.
Before saying this, he had already flicked his wrist and retrieved the Wind and Snow Awl from his pocket treasure.
Pei Qian obsequiously grabbed the red couplet papers and laid them across a table.
While doing this, she didn't forget to look at Zhong Kui and warn him, "You have to put in some effort and write them properly. These couplets are going on the doors of my house in the future!"
Zhu Lian and the others all walked over, extremely curious about what the noble scholar was going to write.
As for where Chen Ping'an had gotten his calligraphy brush and why it didn't need ink, Jiu Niang pretended that she hadn't noticed anything.
Zhong Kui accepted the brush and composed himself, and a rare solemn expression decorated his face. He then gave a soft shout before dragging the calligraphy brush across the red couplet paper as if it were a soaring dragon. Five characters appeared on the paper.
The characters appeared very proper, yet they really couldn't be regarded as impressive and spirited.
The five characters were "Gliding Brush Stirs Wild Storms."
It was abundantly clear that these five characters shouldn't have appeared on a couplet.[3] Indeed, it seemed like Zhong Kui was taking advantage of this rare opportunity to show off his status as a Confucian scholar.
There was a smile on Zhu Lian's face as he stood hunchbacked and carefully examined these five characters with squinted eyes.
Sui Youbian had already turned around to look at the entrance of the inn. The convoy from the Yao Clan was almost about to arrive.
Jiu Niang was expressionless as she instructed, "Little Lame, go and bring me a broom. Someone's feeling a little itchy again."
"Please don't," Zhong Kui implored with an innocent expression. "I'm already putting in a lot of effort. If you're truly not happy with this, then I can always write a new one. I'll cover the cost of these two pieces of couplet paper on the table."
Chen Ping'an smiled and said, "No, this one's actually pretty good, I'll take it. Just write five more characters and we'll be done."
Jiu Niang glared at Zhong Kui, and the latter hurriedly gave the gloating lame young boy a shove before saying, "Bring me another pair of couplet papers from your master's room. No, make that two. That way, I can quickly write another couplet just in case Jiu Niang is unsatisfied again."
Zhong Kui completed the second half of the first couplet with "Completed Poem Makes Ghosts Weep."
Perhaps feeling that he had indeed taken things too far with this pair of couplets, Zhong Kui chuckled dryly. "I'm out of practice, so I didn't write this couplet very well. It's less than half of what I'm capable of."
Zhong Kui wrote the next two couplets in a very proper and auspicious manner. They were legitimate couplets for the spring festival, and they weren't braggart couplets like the first pair.
"Fortune in the New Year, A Spring Filled with Hope."
Zhong Kui was extremely satisfied with himself after writing this second couplet. He explained that all spring festival couplets in the world were based on the contents of this one single couplet.
Meanwhile, Jiu Niang was most satisfied with the third couplet. This was because it suited the current situation very well. "The nation is prosperous, the family is prosperous, the nation's families are prosperous; the elderly are safe, the young are safe, everyone is safe."
Even Pei Qian was quite happy about this couplet, so she finally didn't give any attitude to Zhong Kui.
Chen Ping'an carefully put the three spring festival couplets away before cupping his fists and thanking Zhong Kui.
Zhong Kui calmly accepted Chen Ping'an's gratitude.
The two of them then looked at each other.
"Brush," Chen Ping'an reminded the noble scholar in a slightly exasperated voice.
"I've already given you three spring festival couplets with such beautiful blessings, so can't you give me just a single calligraphy brush?" Zhong Kui asked.
"No," Chen Ping'an replied with a shake of his head.
Zhong Kui still wanted to haggle, yet he quickly noticed the cloudy expression on Jiu Niang's face. It was very likely that she wouldn't ask the lame young boy for help grabbing the broom anymore, and she would instead grab the broom herself to sweep him out of the inn.
Zhong Kui sighed and reluctantly returned the Wind and Snow Awl to Chen Ping'an, murmuring, "The characters on the handle of the brush, 'Writing as if Assisted by the Gods,' have a strong affinity with me. It's as if we're made for each other. Chen Ping'an, what you're doing is breaking a pair of lovers apart. This is completely ruining the mood."
Chen Ping'an didn't conceal anything on purpose as he put away the Wind and Snow Awl, a present from Li Xisheng. He smiled and replied, "I really can't give this brush to you."
Looking at Zhong Kui's pitiful expression, Jiu Niang smiled and said, "You don't need to pay for the couplet paper anymore. Not only that, but you can even take a pot of five-year-old green plum wine as payment for writing the three couplets."
A wide smile instantly spread across Zhong Kui's face.
Plumes of dust flew through the air on the official road outside the small inn.
The young girl Yao Lingzhi and the young boy Yao Xianzhi dismounted their horses together and walked over to the inn to greet Chen Ping'an and the others.
Jiu Niang told Yao Lingzhi to take care on the trip, after which she broke into sobs.
The rims of Yao Lingzhi's eyes also became red as she lowered her head and turned around, not looking at her mother's anxious expression anymore.
Yao Zhen was dressed in casual clothes as he stood beside a carriage. He had purposely prepared three empty carriages as part of his convoy to the capital, and had specially prepared five strong and handsome horses for Chen Ping'an and his companions as well. These were all top-grade horses from the Great Quan Empire's border army. In fact, even the wealthiest descendants in the capital might not be able to get their hands on one such horse.
He hadn't imagined that apart from the skinny little girl and the stunningly beautiful woman carrying a sword on her back, Chen Ping'an and his three other companions would all choose to travel north on horseback.
Of course, he had no complaints about this, and he greeted Chen Ping'an before returning to his own carriage. There were a dozen or so military books in the carriage, and these had all been passed down by the ancestors of the Yao Clan. Each book was filled with the notes and thoughts of these ancestors. In fact, almost every page was filled with notes and thoughts.
Perhaps this was a sign of orderly inheritance in a large and influential clan that had existed for many years.
Yao Zhen only brought three members of the Yao Clan with him this time. All three of them belonged to the same generation; Yao Jinzhi was sitting in a carriage by herself, while Yao Xianzhi and Yao Lingzhi were riding next to each other at the very end of the convoy.
Seven accompanying Qi refiners were scattered throughout the convoy.
Yao Zhen honestly revealed to Chen Ping'an that there were two guest elders of the Great Quan Empire secretly supervising the convoy. If he hadn't been ordered to enter the capital this time, even his position as the highest-ranking general of the border regions wouldn't have been enough for him to command these two cultivators.
The remaining sixty-odd people were all experienced soldiers as well as a small number of their relatives. Most of these people were stewards and servants of the Yao Clan.
Chen Ping'an slowly rode his horse among the convoy of the Yao Clan.
Zhu Lian remained hunchbacked even though he was riding a horse, and his leaning body bounced up and down following the gait of his horse. He looked like the most casual and amiable person out of Chen Ping'an's four subordinates.
Lu Baixiang was resting with his eyes closed.
As for Wei Xian, he appeared the most comfortable as he rode along with the convoy. He was like a fish in water.
Back at the inn, Jiu Niang was unwilling to look away for a long time.
The hunchbacked Third Grandpa was squatting in front of the inn and smoking, with wisps of curling smoke rising from his smoking pipe like mountain mist flooding a valley, concealing the wrinkles of vicissitude on his aged face.
The lame young boy climbed onto the roof and peered into the distance. They had only just parted with each other, yet he was already starting to eagerly anticipate his reunion with that beautiful big sister carrying a sword on her back.
Zhong Kui walked to the small tomb near the inn. The mini tombstone had already been knocked over, and someone had also dug up the tomb and retrieved the buried contents.
This was fairly amusing. She was only a small child, after all.
Zhong Kui ran his hand through his hair and turned around to glance at the convoy marching into the distance. He retracted his gaze and clasped his hands behind his back, swaying back and forth as he walked back to the inn. "The sun rises from the East Sea, scattering molten gold over thousands of miles. The moon sets behind the West Mountain, when the apes start to call. It's a shame that this poem isn't balanced.[4] Otherwise, it would be destined to become a renowned poem that gets passed down from generation to generation."
Zhong Kui pondered for a moment, undecided about whether he should take a trip to Fox Town.
His master was far too timid. He was the mountain master of the Great Subduing Academy, after all, and he had even come from the residence of some sage in Middle Earth Divine Continent.
The name of that nine-tailed fox was recorded at the very top of the second page of Master Bai's True Name Record, but did this not imply that killing her would be as simple as speaking a single sentence since he knew her true name?
Zhong Kui placed his hands behind his head, allowing the refreshing wind to brush over his face.
It was as if small gusts of autumn wind were also billowing in his raised sleeves.
This was a side of Zhong Kui that Innkeeper Jiu Niang had never seen before.
1. This is because noble people won't seek revenge, or at least not in a sinister manner. On the other hand, evil people will definitely seek vengeance and stoop to extremely low levels to do so. ☜
2. In China, feeling jealousy in a romantic context is called 吃醋, which literally means drinking vinegar. ☜
3. The phrases written on New Year couplets are often auspicious ones wishing good fortune, good health, and so on. ☜
4. This is a combination of a common saying and one of Li Bai's poems. ☜
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