A Joytoy’s Journey to become a Hive-Queen [A SCS Fanfic]

Chapter 54 – A Sarah shaped hole

“Ye gotta remember, the psyche is a really weird place. Aye, ye can go ‘round and try to act all normal and shit, but there’s a lot deep down there that can completely mess ye up if ye don’t take care of yerself. It’s the biggest danger when fightin’ off the xenos, ye see so much shit out there and eventually ye either become numb or it starts gettin’ into yer head. In that way Samurai have it nearly as bad as fire fighters, policemen, and other rescue personnel. And just look how most of them end up.”

  -  Wingus Dingus in a conversation with a new Samurai, 2031

To my mild, but pleasant, surprise, nothing burned down in my absence. What did pop up, and which I was not all too pleased about, was a smaller group of gangsters trying to make inroads on the place, but so far nothing had yet gone out of control. Castas and his Red Crows were making sure shit was handled, while Sultan and his Purple Haze lackey’s at least pretended they were happy.

Not that I believed them a word with their grimaces.

It wasn’t my problem though, and so I decided to ignore it entirely. At least until it became my problem, at which point Snuffles would have some snacks to look forward to.

Jenna touched us down close by, but I still took some time to walk around. There really wasn’t much of a reason for it, simply a feeling that I should. We had decided on packing some reinforcements, at least as much as comfortably fit into the small shuttle, and they quickly started to spread out.

Mostly it was exactly what we had expected. There were some minor surprises, people who were starting to charge exorbitant fees for drugs, hoping to cash in on the lull between fresh supplies, which I could at least understand. There were some who looked to be into more dirty business, but we didn’t care much for that either. This wasn’t a shakedown of the district, simply our efforts to keep it clean.

Considering that we ignored them when we found them, most of those small time businesses, as much as you could call them that, got the memo that we weren’t going to bother them. Sure, most of them still shit their pants when one of Us showed up, but that wasn’t our problem.

After we had confirmed that nothing was amiss, at least in the direct vicinity of the brothel, we turned our attention to the reason we had come here.

The Rose Carpet was, as it was usually, kind of run down. The problem was that after the incursion it was even more fucked up, and even though the corpses had been cleaned up and the rest of the place at least moderately repaired it was still kind of obvious that shit had gone down the sewer pipe not long ago.

What really hurt was the emptiness everywhere, especially behind the bar counter. Dax had been a pleasant man, one that I liked talking to, and one that was dutiful and rarely missed a day. To see him absent hurt more than I had anticipated.

What hurt even more was the absence of Sarah in her room.

We took our time, remembering the woman who had hated her job here, who had detested everything she did to earn her paycheck and who had paid the ultimate price because of it. Seeing the now empty room was painful, but we didn’t try to run, nor did we try to ignore it. 

This was what we had to prevent in the future. This was a lesson that we best learn quickly, before anyone else might fall into the same hole of despair and hopelessness that ended with an unpleasant and premature death.

It helped that we had Chloe and Jenna with us. It didn’t stop the tears and the sobs and the deep ache in our heart, but it at least made them more bearable.

We still felt like we had let her down. We still felt responsible, despite all the proof to the contrary. And it pained us deeply.

Eventually though we turned and left the room, as much as we wanted to mourn her and to force ourselves to see the blank spot her death had left in our life, to remember this lesson, we couldn’t just sit around to cry. No, we had promised ourselves that we would change things, that we would ensure this wouldn’t happen again. And that required action.

Making our way down towards the bar once more we already expected Victor’s presence. No way in hell he hadn’t been informed yet, not with Us prancing around. Even if he wasn’t checking the cameras that Kaysa had told Us about, there would at least be some Joytoy or another who would have gone to tell him that we were here. If only because our Queen’s Guard was being rather obvious about their presence for once.

Not that they were aggressive, but they were openly displaying their presence and discouraged everyone who might try something. If someone would be foolish enough to follow through they’d deal with them.

As expected, Victor met Us just as we returned back to the main bar area, a different barkeep that looked just as sad at all the loss. It was slightly overshadowed by the wide eyes he gave Chloe, Jenna, and Us; nonetheless he placed a couple of straight drinks on the table, just as we sat down next to Victor.

“This place is like a fucking ghost town,” he muttered darkly, immediately putting back his drink.

For a long moment we didn’t reply, simply eyeing our drink, a drink that would have been prepared by Dax before this disaster. Finally we put it back and motioned the barkeep for the next one.

“Yeah… It’s… It’s depressing. The last time we were here, everything was so lively. So many people, so much noise… Now it all feels like a fucking graveyard. We’re pretty resilient to death, but fuck.”

Taking a deep breath we shook our head. “We can still remember the old days… Times where people were talking about the whole fucking becoming legends thing. Inane dreams that maybe some day they’d become known for what they did, even if they were nothing but cheap harlots in some backwater brothel. Such a fucking stupid notion… But there was hope there, y’know? Call it desperation, call it naivety, but people believed in something. Now we have empty halls and lost memories. We knew, of course… But seeing it hurts much more than we could have imagined.”

Without another comment we put back the next shot, and this time the barkeep didn’t even need a signal to refill it.

“We?” Victor asked, giving us a glance.

“It’s… a long story,” we just said, unwilling to go into too much detail.

Victor glanced at us; it didn’t take a genius to see the concern in his eyes, but we just couldn’t be fucked to talk about all that kind of shit right now. He’d have to deal and he’d get used to it, we were sure. “Whatever… And I agree with you. It is a damn graveyard. It’s like I can still hear them talk. Still hear them there, just behind that next corner. Every time I walk through here it’s like… I’m just waiting to bump into them.”

We just nodded silently, eyes still transfixed on the glass before Us. The last conversation we had with Dax playing before our eyes. It had been such an innocent talk… To know it we would never be able to talk to him like that hurt worse than any gunshot wound we ever suffered could ever be.

Wiping away a stray tear, we returned our attention back to the conversation at hand.

“Yeah… We have to admit, Vic, we never thought too fondly of you. You’re a bit too aggressive at times, and you were right earlier that you can be a bit of an asshole. We wouldn’t have thought it’d hit you this hard.”

He snorted, holding only a hint of humour, “Yeah, well… What can you do… I’ve seen my fair share of shit too, but never like this, not like a fucking incursion. At least not this close. That shit never goes over well. Places you can repair, people can’t just be replaced. Even a damn cold hearted bastard like me can feel something that deep down.”

His comment made us adjust our opinion on the man once more, realising that he might not be as much of a jackass as he typically led people to believe. Maybe it’s a persona or something, we didn’t know, nor did we ask. But it was nice to see.

“How’s Galia doing?” we asked instead, sipping at our third shot. We weren’t here to get hammered but at this moment a bit of alcohol would do us good.

“She’s… Fuck, okay to put it blunt she’s bad. The moment she sobers up she takes the next dose of shiver. I’ve pulled her and some other joytoy out of service today, they’re in some backroom fucking each other silly. I’ve made sure she can’t take too much, but if she sobers up too long it seems like she has a complete breakdown.”

That made us grimace, “Kaysa? The priest?”

It might be a stretch. But we couldn’t help that feeling of foreboding, that… anxiety that we might be too late again.

Our AI formed the nanite body from the Amulet, appearing next to the barkeep who looked at her with wide eyes, forgetting for a moment the sadness that was still rocking him. Giving the man a friendly smile and a nod, she turned to us, smile not abiding which we took as a good sign.

“There are no indications that she has met up with the priest. It is much more likely that she is simply unable to handle the entire mess she is in up until now. There is hope yet.”

Letting out a breath we nodded, “Good… Any idea how we can help her short term so things don’t get out of control, before we find a way to give her some proper help? We know that you can’t magic away trauma…”

“There are some ways to help in the short term,” Kaysa agreed, gently picking up a glass and a couple of bottles, mixing something together, before handing it to the barkeep with a friendly smile while she spoke, “It’s not perfect, as you said. None of the short term solutions to psychological trauma are. And if I’m perfectly honest, she might never fully recover from it. But you can, at least for a time, block her memories and her emotional response to it all. That only works if you can keep her from returning to a life of a Joytoy however. And it will be quite expensive.”

“We don’t care how fucking expensive it will be,” we snarled, “If we gotta pay the last of our points for it, then we will. We’re not going to allow a second Sarah!”

Perhaps we were a bit too agitated about the topic, both Victor and the barkeep looked at us with a hint of fear in their eyes, but it didn’t matter. We weren’t going to let someone else end up the same way, the thought alone made us furious.

“I thought as much. Good. It will cost you 2450 points to get a proper memory and emotional seal that should last long enough for her to find some proper help and is sophisticated enough to be gradually disabled for a therapist to work on things. I can give you the contacts of some people that you can talk to in regards to getting her proper help. But be warned, administering the seal might be… hard.”

“Define hard,” we muttered, emptying our shot glass and pushing it back.

The barkeep wanted to refill it, but Kaysa gently placed a hand on his arm with a small smile and a shake of her head, before she began to mix something else up for us, something that was obviously much weaker and sweeter. Probably for the best, even if we could use a stiff drink.

“You’d have to get her to swallow three pills. The first is the memory blocker, the second the emotional blocker, and the third a Cleanse.”

“That’s easy,” we muttered, “She’s on shiver, just promise her the time of her life and she’d gobble down anything. Just leave it to us.”

“Are you sure you’re up for it?” Chloe spoke up for the first time, giving us a concerned glance.

“No,” we admitted, “But we have to do it. And I’m not going to sit by and watch her OD. Not again.” We sighed, rubbing our face for a moment, before we looked to Kaysa again, “Give us those contacts for the therapists. We’re going to call them first, see what they think. At this point we learned that we are in no way the right person to decide on shit like that. Actually, it might be worth getting some catalogues for it, if only so that you can help in the short term.”

“You could,” Kaysa allowed, “But I’d advise against it. Surprisingly enough, there is actually someone who specialises in that field in this city. They too are a new Samurai, only minted during the remnants of the last incursion. And even more surprising, they too are a Hive-Mind, although different from you.”

That finally pulled us out of our funk and I looked at her, sobering up a little. “Wait, what?”

Kaysa placed the drink she had mixed for us down in front of us, while the barkeep refilled Victor’s glass. Chloe too got a refill, but Jenna didn’t. 

The drink was sweet, as we had expected and just the way we liked it. Taking a long sip from it, we listened to what Kaysa had to say.

“She doesn’t have a name yet, goes by Mask at the moment. Where your Hive is based on the Hexclaw Swarm Intelligence, she focuses solely on body doubles. As of right now she is rather new, by far not as well established as you are, and specialises in therapy and psychological trauma. I can’t give you any specific details, you know why, but she might be worth talking to.”

“Yes,” I muttered, fully emerging from the chorus and shaking myself a little for a moment, “Shoot me her details, I’ll give her a call.”

With that I turned back to Vic, “And thanks, Vic. For keeping an eye on things. We, by which I mean Chloe, Jenna, and I, will see what we can to improve things in the future. Right now I think it’s best I talk to that Mask woman, see how things go and if she can help Galia.”

He nodded, giving me a long glance, “Aight… But if it’s fine with you, I’d like to chat with you later about the whole… thing that’s up with you. You’re a bit strange these days, Seraphine.”

I just nodded, “We can do that, Vic. It’s a long story and one that doesn’t lend itself nicely to a little chat in a graveyard of a brothel… But you should know. If only to thank you for all the help.”

We finished the drink in a few massive gulps, placed the glass down and got up, nodding to Chloe and Jenna, “You can wait here if you want. I’m going to go up to my room to make some calls, see how things go. Then I’ll know where to go from there.”

Not waiting for a reply I turned and walked back upstairs, taking in the pain in my heart at the sight of the empty hallways, only filled with a few of the Joytoys and a couple of clients. The brothel wasn’t entirely in full swing yet, but some had already returned, much too few to make me feel anything but bad about it. Maybe it was wrong to… almost drink in all that suffering and pain. Maybe I should try to push it away. But I wanted to remember, wanted to make sure I’d never forget. 

It hurt like a bitch, yes. But I felt like it would be disingenuous to try and ignore it.

My door was only barely fixed. The hole where the two model Threes had made their way inside was patched, but still obvious. It would work to keep people out, but not if they were really determined. Closing it behind me I looked through the room. Most of the alien goo had been cleaned up, but the stench of cut grass and the stains were obvious still.

Walking behind the counter I poured myself another drink, similar to the one Kaysa had made for me. It was just something for a buzz, not to get hammered, before I pulled out one of my joints still in the cabinet, lit it, and took a deep pull.

In only a moment I was in my virtual realm and dialled the number that Kaysa had given me. It was strange to call another Samurai for anything other than help with xenos, but I wasn’t going to lie to myself and tell myself that I could fix this mess. The last time I did everything went wrong. The thought reminded me of that kid that we had saved after we had met Jenna, another thing to keep an eye on.

“Kaysa, where’s the little boy Jenna brought back with her?”

He is currently still in the megashelter, although in a different section than the one you visited last time around. One of the orphanages in the redlight district had been evacuated there, and they offered to take care of him. Tina agreed. They are scheduled to return tomorrow, after the orphanage has been fixed up.

“Good. Did the money from the trade come in yet?”

A part of it, roughly six million credits. Since it didn’t seem too urgent to you, I decided to make sure that the right people got everything for the right price. Not enough to bankrupt anyone, but also not so cheap that you would make significant losses.

“Thanks, Kaysa. Send them that money with a thank you note. Also attach my contacts, if they need anything, and I do mean anything, they should hit me up.”

Before she could reply the call finally connected and a soothing male voice came over the line.

“Magdalene Layra is currently not available to talk. If you wish to make an appointment, please specify the date and time and I will do my best to be accommodating to your request.”

The slightly non-human sounding voice made me think it was her AI, so I just smiled at the call. It didn’t have a video feed, but I did, and being friendly always helped best when you called someone.

“Hey. I’m Seraphine Bloodfallen, also known as Myriad. You are Mask’s AI, right? I’m a Samurai based out of the redlight district and would love to talk to her regarding a possible therapy session with a joytoy in the brothel I work in. She’s in very bad straits and I’m afraid that she might overdose soon if nothing happens.”

There was a moment of silence, then a clicking sound and the call went through. In the background I could hear light classical music and not the cheap AI generated shit either. That was actual music, if I remembered right it might be Mozart, although I couldn’t be sure.

In my first year as a Joytoy I had a client who went completely nuts over it, and he requested a slow fuck in the rythm of Mozarts music, which this one reminded me of. It was a bit strange, but also strangely relaxing, if I was honest with myself. Definitely one of the better fucks I’d had that year, even if it didn’t reach the top ten for my own tastes.

“Mask here,” a young woman’s voice came. She sounded roughly my age, maybe a tad younger, with the sort of friendly politeness you always saw those therapists on the holo-vids displaying.

“Hello Mask. I’m Myriad, or Seraphine if you prefer to use our real names. Your AI told you why I called?”

“Hello Myriad. No, he just told me it’s important, what’s up? I’m a bit tight on time at the moment, so not sure how much I can help.”

“Well… I have a joytoy here, one in the brothel I work in, who is slated to go down a very, very dark road if she doesn’t get help soon. Not sure how much you know about the redlight district.”

“Uhm… I heard a few things, nothing concrete,” she sounded a bit distracted.

“Okay, so to make a long story short, people here take drugs like some drink water. It’s just how things are here. That’s kind of a problem though, since there are some who start working as joytoys but can’t handle the fact that they sell their bodies. You probably know what I’m talking about. Anyway, so Galia, that’s the woman I was talking about, she’s been taking Shiver like crazy to cope. It’s reached a point where she can’t stand being sober because of all the… bad stuff. I can place a memory seal on her so she can get out, but that isn’t a permanent solution. I know that I’m much too fucked up in the head to help myself, so Kaysa, my AI, told me about you. It’s… honestly a bit strange to know that another Hive-Mind is out there.”

While I had talked, Mask had been doing some stuff, but the sounds stopped at my words. “Another Hive-Mind? You’re one as well?”

“Yes. We are Myriad. We don’t know about you, but we are a chorus of many who come together as one, in unity and harmony. Kaysa mentioned that you might be different, and we must admit to a certain level of curiosity.”

There was another moment of silence, before Mask finally replied. “That is different, yes. I’m just me. I have a few bodies, not many yet, since well, I just became a Samurai, so I’m a bit tight on points. But I’m not many people rolled into one.”

That was different, indeed. “Curious. We aren’t many people rolled into one, before you misunderstand. We are all Seraphine Bloodfallen, variations on me placed as voices into different bodies of our swarm, and together we form the chorus, the whole, together we are Myriad. At the core though, I’m still me. So are they.”

“Huh… Okay, uhm, I really want to talk about that, but I don’t think right now is the right time. You said you needed help. I’m willing to help, but I’m not sure when I can manage.”

That made me smile a little, she seemed genuine enough. “I’m willing to pay for the help, if you can make it quick.”

“Oh?” Despite herself I didn’t miss the interest in her voice at that comment.

“2000 points, plus five million credits once my sales go through. I’ll be blunt with you, Mask, I really want this to go over quickly, so if you want more, I’m willing to pay if I can afford it. The last time I waited to see how things went a good friend of mine died. I’m not going to make that mistake again.”

That produced a long silence, and for a moment I thought she might have disconnected, but the call was still open. Eventually she spoke again. “That’s… a lot of points. Much more than I made this far. You can keep your credits, that would just be extortion at this point. I’ll get out of my indenture another way. But if you’re for real with the points, I think I can make some time.”

“I am. As I said, I want this done quickly. I don’t want to find another corpse because I was too hesitant to do more.”

“Okay… Okay. Uhm, sure. When do you want to meet? Do you want to head here, or should I come over?”

“I think it’s best if you come here. I’ll see that Jenna sends a shuttle your way, it’s going to be quicker than taking a cab. Or do you have a car?”

She laughed, “I’m an indentured servant. A slave, more or less. Do you think they’d give me a car? No, I’d have to take public transport or a cab. If you have some way to get me there, I’d gladly take it. Before we hang up though, what specifically is needed?”

At her words I sent Jenna a quick message, asking her if she could send the shuttle over to Mask, once she had sent her location through to me.

Then I took a few minutes to tell Mask exactly what was going on with Galia, the circumstances, how it usually ended, what the signs told me as someone in the trade, but I also made sure to explain to her that my evaluation might be completely wrong, based on the knowledge that I wasn’t normal. I told her about Sarah, which was… hard. I managed to keep mostly calm. But it hurt. Fuck, it hurt. But I had to get it out there. It was important.

When I finally ran down, voice a bit shaky from the topic and with a few tears still running down my face at the memory of Sarah’s lifeless body on the ground, there was a moment of silence before she spoke, voice soft.

“That is a lot worse than what I typically see. But I can understand why you want things done this quickly. I’m very sorry to hear about your friend, Myriad. And I must admit to being surprised how calm you seem to be, considering how little time has passed since then. I’ll take a thousand points for this. But I would also like to meet you at a later date to talk to you about your experiences. It seems like you could use it.”

“Sure… That sounds good. I’m not stupid enough to push away help from someone who knows what they are talking about. And thanks, Mask. Take the two grand. As a thank you from me and to get you sorted. There will be points coming in the near future, not sure if you heard.”

“Not really, no.”

“Figured. We can talk about it later then, just know that the Family, that’s some Samurai corp keeping an eye out on North America, they have some Hives for us to deal with in like three days. You should have been invited. Then again, if you only became a Samurai at the end of the incursion, you might have been overlooked.”

“Good to know. I’ll get everything ready. Talk to you later, Myriad.”

“Thanks, Mask. See you soon.”

And with that we disconnected, and I slumped back against the counter, eyes closed and enjoying the drug induced haze slowly clouding my mind. It was… not a good solution. And it didn’t help to fill that hole that bored itself through my heart like a parasite looking to completely overtake me.

But I’d have to manage. At least for now. The chorus helped. So did the knowledge that Chloe and Jenna were waiting for me downstairs.

I finished my drink and my joint, taking my time and trying to relax a little. It didn’t work nearly as well as I was hoping it would, but it was better than nothing. Eventually, when I was finished with it all, I quickly cleaned the glass, put it back to where it belonged, locked the cabinet and then made my way back downstairs.

I really hoped that Mask could help. Both Galia, and maybe also me.

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