A Rational Zombie

Chapter 130

I dont know how long Ive been kept here. The prey bound me with ropes, prevented me from moving. Put me in a building. The same prey, Chris, comes in, feeds me the meat from my bag, talks to me. It seemed to have known me from before, when I was still a prey. It calls me Kaitlyn, my name. My name is Kaitlyn. Every day, it has me drink a cup of poison. Its killing me slowly. But I cant refuse. The prey tells me if I refuse, the other prey will come to kill me. I dont understand. Why kill me slowly, but threaten to kill me quickly if I refuse?

The prey calls the poison the cure; I know its a lie. The drink weakens me. But it tastes familiar. Perhaps its not poison to prey. However, to me, it is. My limbs are less responsive. My vision is blurry. My sense of smell, sense of hearing, both are dull. Even my sense of taste is waning. Meat doesnt taste as good. It doesnt hold back the hunger as well as it used to. I need brains. But the prey wont feed me them. In the first place, I cant communicate with it. It tried to get me to write words like in the openable bricksbooks, the prey calls them. It shouldve been possible. But I cant. Reading is easy. Writing, I dont know how to formulate my thoughts, formulate words. Its similar to speaking. I cant do it.

The prey is trying to teach me. Im trying to learn. But it doesnt make sense. I learn one character one day. And I forget it the next. Its the poison. Its corroding my mind. I dont understand. Why does the prey want to communicate with me while Im dying? Why is it investing time in me when its killing me? Doesnt it have better things to do? I dont know. The prey cares for me. We mustve been close. It tells me stories about myself. We lived together in a group with two other prey, Mom and Dad. But I died. And it didnt. It hasnt told me how. I cant ask. I cant do anything. Im wasting time. But is there really anything I can do when my time of death is dictated by the prey?

Sometimes, another prey comes too. Jen, the one that stopped me from breaking out of the encirclement. It doesnt talk much with me. It only stays in the room, on the other side of the metal cage, watching, making sure I dont do anything Im not allowed to do. Which is anything. Im lucky the prey feed me. But I dont know why theyre prolonging my death. If I had a prey captive, the only reason Id keep it alive longer is to preserve its flesh. Is that it? The prey are going to eat me. After they eat all the bodies from the failed attack, theyre going to eat me. But why try to talk to me in that time? Perhaps they think they can learn from me.

The door opened. Chris came in. But today was different. Theres another prey with him, not Jen.

Hmm, not a lot of progress, huh?

That voice, its the chiefs. The leader of the prey.

Thats not true. Theres been plenty of progress.

Youre deluding yourself. The chief came closer. It took off its dome, crouched in front of the metal fence. I dont want to say I told you so, but I told you so. Shes too far gone. Theres no way for the cure to remove the fungus faster than the fungus can reproduce without killing her. Just looking at her arm shouldve been enough to tell you that. If she wasnt infected, the whole thing wouldve fallen off by now.

But shes sane. Shes rational. She can understand me when I speak. She even knows how to read.

Isnt that why we called her the smart infected? Shes still infected. Maybe she maintained a bit of rationality, but she still eats people. Shes eaten people, Chris. Butchered them, salted them, and smoked them. If your sister turns back into a human and realizes that, do you think she could live with herself?

Yes. I could. Prey kill other prey. Itd be a waste not to eat the dead.

Weve all killed people, Chief.

But you didnt eat them.

Does it matter? Dead is dead. What happens to the deads body after they die is none of their business.

Theres some religions out there thatd disagree with you.

And those people who follow those religions are dead too.

A gust of air came out of the chiefs mouth. Look. Were running low on the antifungal medication. As the leader of the group, you know I have choices to make. Prioritizing our safety or using the cure on someone that cant be cured. Its an obvious choice for me, but I know you dont want to hear it. People are getting angry, Chris. The smart infected that lead the invasion is being kept alive, using up the cure. If she was actually cured, then I could keep them calm, but this, theres no progress here. Theyll want her dead.

Was the prey really trying to cure me? The poison was actually a cure? Maybe. But it doesnt matter if the chiefs words are true. If the cure worked, the prey would let me live as prey. Since it hasnt worked, the prey want me dead. Dying. I wanted to survive to find out who I was. And I figured it out: Im Kaitlyn. I was a mathematician. I have a brother named Chris. My parents, the ones who brought me into the world, are dead. Theyre answers. But theyre not what I was looking for. Why am I alive? I dont know. Perhaps dying wouldnt be so bad. Surviving for the sake of surviving, with no purpose, doesnt that make me an other? They live to eat. And they eat to live. A constant cycle that involves nothing else. How am I any different from them? Because I can think? Because I can obtain food more efficiently? In the end, that only makes me better at finding food to eat to live to eat more to live to eat. Its pointless. Dying makes the most sense. Living is irrational. How did I not see that earlier?

Then Ill leave the garrison, take her away. Ill raid pharmacies myself to get more medication. Im not going to give up on her.

And what about Jen?

Ill ask her if she wants to come. If she does, she does. If she doesnt, well, I cant blame her.

Is that how it is? If thats your choice, Im not going to stop you, but Im certainly not going to help you either. Quite frankly, I wish youd come to your senses, but things always get a little heated when family is involved. You were quite level-headed too.

Chief, you probably already know this and dont need to be told, but you know how it is, everyone whos survived this long, were all a littleor a lotoff in the head. Chris turned to stare at me. All of us.

I, Kaitlyn, stared back.

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