Chapter 478 Diary - Two - I
From today onwards, time will be recorded in days. I am uncertain when Ansel will return, but he should grant me at least three to four years to develop.
He is likely to return when the I outside or the Tower of Babel is in imminent danger. He excels at exploiting people's weaknesses, ha... Princess Evora is too unstable. In retrospect, relying solely on her protection was destined to fail.
Ansel, how much do you distrust me? From the beginning, did you prepare for a second taming after failure?
...What a troublesome brat. Shall I call you smart or cunning?
I hope the outside me will not deduce the clues even if she loses her memory.
*
[Day One.]
The outside me, upon waking, could not accept the rupture of that day. She lost the memory of my original deductions and those crucial conversations. She cannot comprehend the rift between Ansel and me.
Ansel has left the imperial capital and is no longer in the Hydral territory, with all contact severed... The outside me cannot reach him by any means.
She is suspicious, puzzled, trying to find the truth from those cut and spliced memories, but to no avail.
It seems she does not fully believe Ansel has betrayed her; she thinks Ansel must have hidden motives.
As expected, I am still myself, even without those memories.
[Day Two.]
Ansel's "betrayal" has left the outside me in a low state. She still cannot fathom any hidden motives, and her thoughts seem to be gradually leaning towards the idea that Ansel simply wants to tame her.
...Although, without my many conjectures, this is indeed an indisputable fact, I should not give up so quickly.
Whether out of reason or emotion... the outside me needs time to accumulate resentment towards Ansel. She should spend more time pondering whether there is a hidden truth behind Ansel's "betrayal."
This is abnormal.
[Day Seven.]
The outside me is gradually returning to normal life but has not given up on contacting Ansel. She sends letters to the Hydral estate daily, tries to contact the estate through communication magi-crystals, and even considers visiting in person, but to no avail. Ansel is waiting for an opportunity; he will not return or see me before then.
She... has not done what I feared most.
A thorough review of the past, a detailed analysis of every moment with Ansel... If the outside me did this, she would likely deduce the answers I had previously obtained, which would be the worst outcome.
But "I" did not do this.
Lord Flamelle's creation cannot be wrong; the outside me must be entirely equivalent to the current me, yet she shows no signs of thinking this way... This is not Ravenna.
Following this development, my attitude towards Ansel in our next encounter will be more hostile than inquisitive, which is good, but... this anomaly may not be a good thing.
Again, this is abnormal.
[Day Ten.]
For now, I must set aside the long-term supervision of my other self and focus on studying these secret tomes.
The books in this library are terrifying—spells from the Sky Conquering Dynasty that can summon abyssal polymers; brainwashing techniques effective across two major stages for those below the fifth stage; unheard-of etheric propulsion methods; and various incredible alchemical manuals...
Merely knowing the truth is useless. Whatever has driven Ansel, a divine species, to such obsessive madness is beyond my current capabilities to resolve.
I must become significantly stronger within these three years to have any chance of intervening.
Normal growth methods will not suffice; no matter how I train, I cannot reach the level of being Ansel's absolute support within a few years…I need to employ more cunning methods to achieve this.
From now on, I will gradually determine the direction.
[Day Twenty-Six.]
The outside me has begun to gradually let go of Ansel's matter, or more accurately, not let it interfere with daily life, though she surely still cares deeply.
This phase will likely last a long time. The outside me's feelings towards Ansel, from hopeful skepticism to believing in his complete ill intent and betrayal... If she shows no doubt or reflection during this process, it indicates a problem.
Either she is not truly me, or something is obstructing her.
[Day Forty-Eight.]
The development of mechanical armor is progressing smoothly. With the help of these secret tomes, many previously unclear ideas have become clear. However, with my current abilities, I can only lead the development of a material weapon within six months—even without any physical experiments.
But a Material Armament... the power of a fifth-stage crown is insufficient.
If I can create etheric armor for Ansel to wear, that should be sufficient.
Or perhaps the third stage... No, that is still too far off. For now, I will aim for etheric armor.
[Day Sixty.]
The outside me, from any angle, must be me, but in her thoughts and observations about Ansel, it is as if an invisible barrier blocks her.
Discover hidden content at empire
If the hypothetical enemy is correct, it makes sense.
How absurd. Does fate truly exist in this world? Has Ansel made it his enemy?
...No, I must not continue down this line of thought, or I will lose my composure.
But if merely… merely considering this possibility makes me so fearful, then if it is true...
What immense terror and despair has Ansel endured…?
[Day Ninety-Three.]
Everything has fallen into place. The outside me, aside from routine contact with Ansel, no longer lets him affect her life and work... more or less. If it were me, it would take at least this long to truly recover, but during this time, I would exhaust every effort to uncover the truth from my interactions with Ansel.
The outside me is blindfolded, but this is beneficial for me... Is IT helping me? Why would IT help me?
If fate truly exists, I cannot let the outside me be entirely manipulated by it. I must find a way to interfere and influence her.
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