Chapter 19
In that moment, Lu Yu was furious and trembling, yet he ultimately remained rooted to the spot.
After a while, he silently pushed the boxes back.
"I have never, ever taken back anything I've given away," he said through gritted teeth, emphasizing each word.
Gu Wan, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed, was stunned by these words. She had thought Lu Yu would be happy, considering the considerable value of these items.
She couldn't help but look into his eyes, only to realize that Lu Yu was genuinely angry, not just pretending to refuse.
...Angry? What could he possibly be angry about?
Gu Wan didn't understand, and then an uncontrollable thought crossed her mind: "Wait, could it be that you..."
"...like me?"
Because of his feelings, he was upset by her apparent attempt to draw a clear line between them.
Although Gu Wan no longer knew what it felt like to like someone, she was certain that if it were Qianqian, she would definitely be unhappy too.
As soon as the words left her mouth, Lu Yu's movements abruptly halted, his expression dazed.
However, before he could answer, Gu Wan had already dismissed this guess: "Alright, alright, that's obviously impossible."
Lu Yu was the type of person who typically prioritized his career far above personal relationships. For such people, a wife was usually just a position, a symbol. Anyone could occupy that position, anyone could be that symbol. Whether it was her or someone else made no difference, as long as the home was stable and ensured he had no worries.
So Gu Wan guessed that the reason for his anger was probably something to do with male pride, like the idea that once you've given something to your woman, you don't take it back, and doing so would feel like an insult.
"..."
Lu Yu was silent for a moment, then suddenly asked, "Why is it impossible?"
He looked directly into Gu Wan's unbelievably beautiful eyes: "Do you think you're not good enough? Or do you think I'm blind? Blind enough to ignore someone like you?"
"That's not it," Gu Wan didn't think she wasn't good, nor did she think Lu Yu was blind.
It's just...
"Between adults, how can there be any talk of love?"
Gu Wan said this with a smile.
However, at this moment, her smile was unbearably painful for Lu Yu to see.
Seeing that he remained silent, after a while, Gu Wan realized and froze: "You don't actually..."
Could he really believe in something like love?!
Although... Gu Wan really found it a bit amusing.
"Mmph—" However, as if afraid she might actually laugh, Lu Yu's chest heaved, and as if unable to bear it any longer, he kissed her infuriatingly beautiful lips at that moment.
Gu Wan only felt a scorching heat press firmly against her, followed by a slight sting.
Lu Yu's actions were fierce and impatient. Gu Wan felt as if she had been bitten, but before she could discern what had happened, the man had already invaded completely with an unyielding posture.
Gu Wan only managed to let out a muffled sound. Faced with the sudden storm, she had no choice but to tightly grasp the man's arms to resist this invasion.
Lu Yu still remembered her once gentle, joyful, loving gaze, but in his ears rang her flat, cold statement that adults have no love.
A flash of sadness involuntarily crossed Lu Yu's eyes. As if trying to prove something, his gaze gradually began to change, and his force increased several fold.
Lu Yu had never liked anyone from childhood to adulthood. He actually couldn't distinguish whether he liked someone or not. Just like Gu Wan, he had always thought that love and sincerity were irrelevant before this. But for some reason, after Gu Wan had just said those words, he only felt his heart ache, and it kept getting worse, pressing on him until he could barely breathe.
Gu Wan felt that as a married couple, Lu Yu understood her too well, and also... it turned out she could feel something too?
For a moment, Gu Wan felt both curious and dazed, unconsciously loosening her grip on Lu Yu's arms.
She thought to herself, she was already an adult, so trying it out wouldn't hurt, right?
Feeling the strength on his arms lessening, Lu Yu didn't have time to feel joy before he saw her reach out to open the bedside drawer, then fish out a small square object from the corner and hand it to him.
In that instant, Lu Yu felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over his head.
"Why... are you taking this out?" Lu Yu tried to keep his voice steady, but the hoarseness still betrayed his inner turmoil.
Hearing him ask this, Gu Wan was surprised.
"What's going on, didn't we use these before?"
Wait, had they not been using protection all this time?
"Was I out of my mind back then?"
These consecutive questions were enough to show how shocked Gu Wan was.
Lu Yu seemed to understand something. After a while, he spoke with difficulty: "I thought... you really liked children..."
Gu Wan: "..."
Gu Wan and Lu Yu looked at each other, and after a moment, she murmured, "It seems I really was out of my mind back then..."
Let alone the fact that she personally felt that living well was enough, just considering her parents' situation made her completely lack confidence in her ability to raise and support a child. Under these circumstances, how could she possibly actively try to have a child? Unless her brain suddenly malfunctioned, how else could it be explained?
Or perhaps, her former self had loved him so much that she wanted to have his child.
Before, Gu Wan had only heard about how much she loved Lu Yu. It wasn't until this moment that she understood the extent of that love.
However, at this moment, Lu Yu felt he couldn't breathe.
The next second, he heard her say: "Wait, that's not right. If that's the case, how is it possible that we don't have a child after two years?"
Gu Wan didn't remember having any physical issues, and they were both in their prime. Could it be that Lu Yu...
Fortunately, she soon got the answer from him.
"For the past two years, the company wasn't stable, so I..." So he had never agreed.
Lu Yu's tone became increasingly difficult.
Gu Wan, however, didn't mind at all. Not only did she not mind, she actually felt relieved.
"Thanks to you." Otherwise, if she had woken up after a car accident to suddenly find herself with a child, Gu Wan couldn't even bear to imagine the scene. It would have been a nightmare.
In her joy, Gu Wan couldn't help but reach out and pat the man's shoulder.
Lu Yu, however, felt as if Gu Wan's pats had struck his heart, the shock making half his body ache.
Previously, Gu Wan had only felt indifferent towards him, but now she was increasingly satisfied, feeling that many of his thoughts aligned perfectly with her own. If that was the case, then the two of them couldn't be more suitable for each other.
This was the first time Gu Wan had thought that being married wasn't so bad after all. She decided to take back what she had said during dinner.
"This is great, I'm starting to like you more and more."
Gu Wan couldn't help herself and even took the initiative to tilt her face up and kiss him.
However, Lu Yu felt his whole body grow cold.
She liked who he used to be? What kind of hellish joke was this?
Noticing that the man before her seemed to have frozen, Gu Wan was confused. She instinctively pushed him a little, not understanding whether he wanted to continue or not.
If you said he didn't want to, he had been so passionate earlier, even biting her lip until it bled. If you said he did want to, now he was suddenly lost in thought. She really couldn't understand what he was thinking.
It was just doing what married couples should do, what was there to be conflicted about? They had been married for two years, why was he being more shy than her?
From the look in her eyes, Lu Yu could sense her meaning. His heart trembled as he forced a strained smile.
Though his heart had sunk to the depths, he still clung to a shred of hope and asked, "...Is it okay, even like this?"
He was referring, of course, to her current state of amnesia.
Gu Wan understood, but became even more confused.
"Why wouldn't it be okay?"
They were both adults, after all. Wasn't this kind of thing normal once you were old enough to take responsibility for yourself? Especially since they were legally married with a marriage certificate.
Gu Wan had never thought he was the only one for her; she had simply been willing to make him the only one before. Now that she no longer felt that way, it didn't matter. If someone else were her partner today, as long as she was happy and interested, it would be fine too.
Lu Yu understood, but he wished he didn't.
Seeing him fall silent again, looking at her with that expression she couldn't comprehend and didn't want to explore, Gu Wan grew thoroughly impatient after several repetitions.
"Are you coming or not? If not, I'll just—"
But before Gu Wan could finish, just as she was starting to prop herself up, her wrist was suddenly grasped.
In an instant, Gu Wan felt the world spin. The next moment, kisses far more heated and frenzied than before fell on her neck, then trailed downward. For a moment, Gu Wan thought she saw a hint of redness at the corners of Lu Yu's eyes, but he quickly lowered his head. When Gu Wan looked again, it all seemed like an illusion. Soon, Gu Wan had no time to think about such things anymore...
When Gu Wan woke up again, it was already noon the next day.
As she slowly opened her eyes, even Gu Wan experienced two to three minutes of confusion and bewilderment.
Wait, was this kind of thing really that intense?!
Gu Wan suddenly felt that if it was like this, well... it wasn't so bad? Though she felt it couldn't happen too often, or her body truly wouldn't be able to handle it. Also, hadn't Lu Yu gone a bit too far?
Gu Wan unconsciously raised her hand to shield her eyes from the sunlight filtering in, only to discover a ring had appeared on her finger at some point.
Though it was indeed quite simple, for some reason Gu Wan felt the one on her hand was far more elegant than those she'd seen in stores.
Before she could ponder the ache in her waist, Gu Wan looked up to see their wedding photo, which she had previously instructed the housekeeper to take down, now rehung at the head of the bed.
Gu Wan suddenly had a bad feeling.
When she got to the bathroom, Gu Wan's premonition was confirmed.
Seeing the blue and purple kiss marks on her collarbone, Gu Wan's grip on the bathroom cabinet tightened as her eyes widened involuntarily, unable to believe this was actually her own neck.
Just as Gu Wan was considering how she would face people later, the next moment, Lu Yu pushed open the door and entered.
The instant she saw him, Gu Wan blurted out, "Why didn't you go to work?"
Hearing this, Lu Yu's movements immediately froze.
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