Chapter 315: I Hate You, I Love You
Malachi and Celeste returned to the base when it was still late at night.
Malachi closed the door to Celeste's quarters behind them as they entered.
Something Celeste seemed to be slightly uncomfortable with.
"Shouldn't you be going back to New York now..?" She asked without looking back.
Mal was a bit caught off guard by her frigid tone.
"I.. just wanted to make sure you were alright first. You've been quiet for a while now."
"I can assure you, I'm fine. Don't let me keep you from those girls you've already got at home."
"Is that supposed to be a jab?" Mal raised a brow.
"It's just how things are." She responded coolly.
Malachi stepped in front of Celeste's path.
"Why are you acting like this?"
"I-I'm not acting like anything! Just move out of my way."
Malachi remained in front of her motionlessly.
Frustrated, Celeste tried to shove him, but of course he went nowhere.
Which only seemed to frustrate her even further.
She pushed him again and when he didn't move or flinch, she resorted to dribbling her fists off his chest.
And the damn holding back her emotions burst and came spilling out into the forefront.
"It's all your fault! If you weren't such a manwhore, then my baby wouldn't feel like she had to leave me to be happy! I hate you!"
"What? Melanie's leaving isn't my fault!"
"Yes it is! You think she didn't know about your feelings for me? Everyone knows! And now you've cost me my relationship with my daughter because you can't keep your lust in check!"
Malachi finally caught Celeste's hands and held her firmly so that she could no longer hit him.
"I get that you're upset, but you haven't lost anything. Melanie said herself that she's not mad at you and would even come to visit.
And as far as everyone knowing about my feelings for you… I don't know how that happened. I haven't told anyone but the girls."
Malachi had indeed not told any other members of the base about his interest in Celeste. Aside from his family that is.
However, given his reputation, as well as the fact that Celeste was a curvaceous woman over thirty, they were able to make their own inferences surrounding their entire relationship.
There was a betting pool gambling on how long it would take them to get together. Aisha had quite a lot riding on it.
"STOP saying that you have feelings for me!" Celeste snapped. "You don't get to say that! Not when you already have other women in your bed and a child!"
Malachi was stunned into silence, but Celeste had more to say.
"Do you think that it's fun to play games with my heart like this?! You're sitting here acting as if you really care about me, when in reality I'm just another part of some egotistical male fantasy for you!"
"You're more than that for me." Mal shook his head. "Much more."
"How can I be sure? What is the value in saying that if I'm not the only one you're saying it to?? How could I ever expect to love someone when they already have six different women besides me??"
Malachi didn't know what to say.
He knew better than most that Celeste wasn't exactly wrong for how she felt. Or for how Malachi seemed.
Things were kind of strained in the world when it started becoming legal for blessed to take three partners. He already had double that.
People who had more traditional views on family and relationships saw this as a world gone mad where people became so enslaved to lust that they were compromising their self respect.
Others thought blessed were starting on the path to making themselves kings. Or rather gods.
No argument was wholly unfounded. And in some cases, perhaps both could have been true as well.
But Malachi had never really been ruled by his lust, nor had he ever put a desire to have sex with new people over the happiness and wellbeing of the women that he already had.
But just looking at him on the outside, it was difficult to make people see that.
Which was why he and the girls kind of gave up a long time ago.
But just this once, he wanted to try to provide an explanation.
"You know… I don't really blame you for feeling the way that you do. I'm pretty sure most of the people in the world would react the same if I told them what my family was like.
Once upon a time, even I might be worried about the kind of man I'd turned out to be. Because my moms certainly did her best not to turn me into a womanizer."
"Didn't seem to work.." Celeste whispered under her breath.
Malachi actually seemed to find her little dig a tiny bit amusing.
"Despite the way things may look… I've never just said anything to you or anyone I loved for the sake of it.
I told you all that I love you because those are my honest feelings. And I understand the difficulty that comes with a confession from someone like me.
But I can promise you that I am not just looking at you as some thrill to chase or another notch on my belt as you put it."
Celeste found it difficult to look at Malachi in the moment.
Her gaze would never lift above his belt buckle, and her voice was as quiet as that of a church mouse.
"…Then why? How can you justify these relationships that you already have and the feelings that you say you have for me?"
Oddly enough, Mal had asked himself that question several times already.
How could he be sure he was doing the right thing by the women he wanted to marry?
After numerous conversations with himself, the answer became clear.
"Because… I know that I'm not doing this to satisfy some bottomless vain desire. I've truly fallen in love with all of you. And the only way that I can deserve to say something like that, is if I do right by you everyday for the rest of our lives."
Mal gently tilted Celeste's head up so that the two of them were eye to eye.
She was unbelievably vulnerable and fragile. Her eyes seemed to contain an immense pain and discomfort.
The next words spoken out of her lips seemed to break her heart. "I don't believe you.."
"…I don't blame you." Mal responded.
The two of them stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.
Mal pretended that he couldn't hear her heart beating out of her chest.
She pretend that she didn't notice the anxiety in his eyes as he stared at her.
With her inner voice strongly urging against it, Celeste stood still as Malachi's lips leaned in for hers.
'One night… just one night...'
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