Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 395 BEST FRIENDS

I found Peter’s wallet and got a cab to take us to his house. The kid was 17, so my age. Still passed out I could at least feel he wasn’t in pain anymore. As the cab ride extended I couldn’t help but look around the city. There would be so much happening in the future. So many heroes that I should have tracked down. Hell, I’d already been a part of a few of them now and I’d only been in the city a few days. 

There was Spiderman, which I couldn’t help but wonder why he would be bit by a radioactive spider right when I showed up. But I ignored that for now. Who were some other heroes to look into?

Felicia Hardy aka Shadowcat. I would definitely have to get in touch with her. The same moral ambiguity as I, there had to be some chemistry there. Gwen Stacy apparently wouldn’t be Ghost Spider in this world. Mary Jane lived close by somewhere. I needed to stop focusing on the possible women though. 

There was Daredevil. Although they lived in Hell’s Kitchen which I believed was on the other side of town. Punisher aka Frank Castle. Deadpool too, he should have lived in New York. Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, there were just so many in the city. It was hard to know who else I should try to track down. Dr. Strange too. I had a lot of the mana books from that frog world in my Inventory. I was curious if this Earth had mana and if they could be useful. 

The hard part was knowing that each of these people would have their own tragic backstory. Most I wouldn’t be able to help but Peter, there was potential. Save Uncle Ben could be a reality in this world, but I didn’t have all of my powers. Other Weston had it easy, with chakra and shadow clones he could be most anywhere at once. Me? I was stuck in the one body. 

Annoyed that I had to work with the few skills I did have, I was going to have to leave things to fate. I couldn’t get as much done as other me, but I could still help. 

The taxi stopping outside of a house. I found the Parker residence. Just like the movies it was a nondescript 2-story with a chain link fence around it. The white paint on the outside was new. Swing on the front porch, it was the same kind of place I grew up in. 

Getting out of the cab I picked up Peter and carried him to the door. Kicking the door to knock I was met by a woman in her late 50s. But she wasn’t the hot Aunt May from the Tom Holland Spiderman. More the average, few gray hairs, and wrinkled smile Aunt May. 

“Peter?!” She yelled, opening the door. “What happened? I thought he was at work?” 

“He got sick,” I said. “Gwen Stacy, a friend of his, said to bring him here.” 

“Come in, come in,” she said, moving out of the way. “Oh my god, does he need to go to the doctor?” 

“I don’t think so,” I said. “He had a fever, but it’s gone now. I think he just needs rest.” She frowned, looking up to the stairs then to me. “I’ll take him up to his room. Just show me the way.” 

“2nd door on the right,” she said as I began traversing the stairs. Peter weighed about 100 pounds soaking wet so he wasn’t all that heavy. His room was as I expected. Clothes everywhere, posters on the wall, and a kleenex box by the bed. I dropped him on the bed with little care. 

“Thank you so much. Can I get you anything?” She asked. 

“Uh no, but I do want to…” I slapped Peter’s face. He gasped and opened his eyes wide. Sitting up as I pushed him back down to the bed. “Calm down, you’re home.” Peter looked around, locking eyes with me then seeing Aunt May. He was shorter, about 5 foot 10 inches. Brown hair turned to the side, he wore thick glasses, and was wearing a Star Trek shirt. Nerdy as can be. 

“What happened?” Peter asked, rubbing his eyes. 

“You got sick at work,” I said. “Actually Aunt May, he still feels a little hot. You might want to get a glass of water?” 

“Uh yes,” she said, rushing out. 

I pulled the spider beaker out of my back pocket, showing it to him. “You were bitten by this, do you remember?” I asked. His eyes widened as his hands went to his head. He began to sweat but nodded as he tried to back away from the still playing dead spider. 

“I’m told this has killed a lot of people,” I said. “I think you’ll be fine, but over the next few days you might find some changes in you.” 

“Like what?” He asked, his eyes wide as he gulped. 

“Heightened senses, vision becoming better, white stuff shooting out of you. Normal stuff. Oh and homoerotic fantasies.”

“What?” 

“You’ll probably be attracted to men now. Unless you already are, then you’ll have heteroerotic fantasies,” I said.

“What the hell? Who are you anyway?” 

“Me? I’m your friendly neighborhood Avenger,” I said standing up as I put the spider back in my pocket. “I will be in touch later. Much to discuss. Oh and I had a premonition that if you use your powers for your own gain, god will kill your Uncle. So…” I threw a few grand on his bed. “Use this to make a super suit or whatever. Stay in drugs, don’t do school, and above all remember that with great power, comes great gullibility.”

“What?!” He yelled but Aunt May came back in with the water. 

“Be seeing you, Peter,” I said walking out. He tried to get up but was too weak. I got outside feeling like I did a pretty good job. I would plan to keep an eye on him in the coming weeks. See if canon played out. His spider powers hadn’t awakened yet, but I was positive they would. My own little spider pet in my pocket I decided to try to find a place for it. 

Flying away I eventually found a pet shop. After buying a small plastic home/box for the spider I picked up some grass and twigs to make it feel at home. Going to the X-Men loft apartment I set the spider up near the window and dumped it in amidst all the random foliage I found. 

“Perfect,” I said, staring into the cage. “Feel better my deadly arachnid.” 

“Who are you talking to?” Hisako asked as she came out of her room. 

“The loft’s new pet,” I said. “It’s a spider.”

“A spider? What the hell is wrong with you?” She mumbled, walking up to the box. Squinting her eyes she poked the cage. “It looks dead.”

“She’s sleeping,” I assured. 

“How the hell do you know it’s a she?” 

“Uh…” I thought back to the Spiderman cartoon. I was pretty sure the spider was a she, and turned human or something. I couldn’t remember if that was in the comic canon though. “Pretty sure.”

“Well whatever,” Hisako mumbled. “Finish your thing?” 

“No, but I found a clue,” I said excitedly. 

“A spider?” 

“No, that’s a side project,” I said. I was tempted to try to get bit by it. I didn’t think I needed any of Spiderman’s powers, but the web slingers would be badass. Not very helpful for my Challenges since there were no buildings, but getting around…wait, I could fly. “Shit, do I even need the spider? Oh well. Anyway I found some warehouses that look promising.” 

“Need help?” Hisako asked, perking up. 

“If you want,” I said with a shrug. 

“Okay,” she said excitedly. “I’ve been so bored hanging out here. I need to go-” 

“Too bad,” Logan said as he walked in from the elevator. “Hellfire club is acting up again. Looks like more fighting. Need to be on standby.”

“You need me?” I asked, perking up. I wanted to find the solution to my problem, but also to try to talk to Emma Frost this time. 

“I don’t think so, but you can fly. I’ll call you if we need you. In the meantime, let’s get some sparring in,” Logan said. Rolling up the sleeves of his plaid shirt he walked over to one of the training mats. Hisako and I shared a look but walked over. 

“We did some hand to hand yesterday, which was good, but I think you both need practice actually using your powers in a fight,” Logan said. 

“Mine can be dangerous though,” I reminded. “I still haven’t figured out how to safely fuse people to anything.”

“Then make it unsafe,” Logan growled. “I can heal anything. Let’s see what you got for real.”

“Okay,” I said, putting a smile on my face as I stretched my arms. I was in normal clothes, but Logan preferred to spar with your every day clothes on, since you never knew when you would get in a fight. 

“Be careful, he gets way too into it,” Hisako mumbled as I walked over to the large mat. 

“Me too,” I said. “Let’s see what you got, old man.” 

“I’ll show you old,” he said, but still hadn’t extended his adamantium claws. Knocking his fists together he rushed forward and I tried pushing against him, but the smaller man was like a bowling ball. Pure muscle and not willing to move. Grabbing him I felt his Spiritual Energy and could distinguish the different energy inside of him. Bones, flesh, and more prominently the high spiritual energy of metal that made up his body. 

Wolverine was a fan favorite hero for a reason. I knew he had powers for an increased sense of smell, an amazing healing factor, and some psychic resistance if I remembered correctly. But also 3 bone claws that would stick out between his fingers at his knuckles. Sometime in the past his bones were coated in one of the toughest metals in existence, adamantium. Making him heavy, practically, unbreakable, and hard as hell to fight. 

As I tried to push him back I punched him in the ribs only to feel my hand buckle against the metal inside of him. 

“You’ll have to do better than that,” he barked, his breath like a stale ashtray.

I groaned, grabbing his shirt and twisting him. Throwing him to the ground he hit the mat and where I held his arm to the mat I fused him to it. Jumping back to avoid being swiped by him he stood up, the mat still attached to his skin. 

“That is annoying,” he mumbled, then sent a claw out. Swiping his skin before it turned into mat he cut it off in a smooth motion. Then he started the attack again. No hesitation, no care that he had open flesh in the air. I used my Nen and Haki in my fists and punched his face. He was knocked to the side slightly but then roared and hit me in the stomach. 

I was thrown back, landing off the mat and hitting a punching bag. Rolling away I was narrowly missed by his kick as I jumped and kicked outward. He absorbed the hit then moved to punch me in the groin. My instincts kicked in, turning away and rolled farther from him. 

“You’ve had more training than you let on,” Logan said. 

“Never show all your cards,” I said using my Timeflow to speed my time up. I closed the distance to us in an instant and started pummeling him in the face. He got his arms up as my Timeflow ended and my feet stomped his, fusing them to the floor. I jumped back again, narrowly missed by a swipe of his claw. 

“You have a lot more training or fucking good instincts, kid,” Logan said. Bending down he didn’t hesitate to cut the bottom of his feet off. Groaning he stepped off of the bottom layer of skin, leaving meat footprints. “Your power is very annoying. Can you make more fuse together?” 

“If I concentrate,” I admitted. “Takes more time though. Easier to just do the top layer of skin.” I breathed in and out heavily, I hadn’t been going easy on my punches. 

“Well, lets cut the powers for now. I want to see your actual fighting skills,” Logan said with a wry smile on his lips. 

“Alright,” I said. We both ran at one another and proceeded to pummel one another. I would like to say I gave as good as I got, but he beat the utter crap out of me. Like fighting Iron Man my flesh did not stand up to the task. Hisako covered me in bandaids and helped nurse my wounds afterward. Logan walked away without a scratch. 

“You actually made him struggle,” Hisako noted. She was trying to hide the awe in her voice. I gave her my best smile with a busted lip. 

“I didn’t lose any teeth did I?” I asked, smiling. 

“Nope,” she said. “I’ll forgive you for that cancer joke now. Logan got all the revenge I needed.” 

“Good to know I just have to get beat up for you to forgive me,” I said. “Now how bad do I have to get it for that date?”

“Date? Thought you wanted to jump right in the sack,” she mumbled. 

“Oh I do, but everything hurts,” I said. “You’d have to do all the work.” 

“Ha,” she said, blushing. “Let’s try a date first. But I’ll wait until you aren’t beat up.”

“I’ll be fine tonight,” I said, giving her my best bloody smile. Nen and my Spark allowed me to heal very fast. I had refrained from using it in our fight near the end just because I needed the training. 

“We are working tonight,” Logan growled. 

“Whoops, guess he has super hearing too,” I noted as Hisako busied herself wrapping up my bandages. I considered leaving to go look into the warehouse anyway, but before I could get up I got a notification. 

“Seriously?” I mumbled. 

That had to mean 1 of 2 things. Either the system or whatever realized I had done something that was worth raising the percentage, or getting beat up helped to raise it. Viltrumites were basically Saiyans. Super strong, but naturally strong. As they aged they became stronger. Saiyans become stronger by fighting. 

Then again who knew what version of Invincible I had been in. Maybe they got power from getting beat up as well. The main protagonist in Invincible sure got beat up a lot and always came back stronger. I thought there was a time he had his lower half ripped off but he still healed it. Not just legs, but hip, dick, and everything gone below his ribcage. Viltrumites were resilient. This really could be a godsend. I would apparently have to get beat up more. 

“What’s up?” Hisako asked. 

“Nothing,” I said. “I’m gonna go pee some blood then keep tracking down my own thing.”

“Have fun,” Hisako said with a laugh as I groaned and got up. Moving to the bathroom I really hoped I was joking. I had been good about protecting my dick but I left my bladder wide open. Waddling to the bathroom Logan chuckled and continued to scrape the bloody soles of his feet off the hardwood floors. 

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