Depthless Hunger

Originally, Zae Zin Nim hadn't cared about what happened to the Frontier nations at all, and even now she struggled to get excited about Earth Union politics. But over the course of time, as she became more entrenched, she started to think about it differently. Kai was willing to travel across the world in order to help her face her father, because their goals were united now. She could help him defend his home from the monster incursions.

"Again!" Inafay called. "Faster!"

The other woman used her elemental powers to launch a dozen targets into the air at random angles. Zae Zin Nim drew on her Coldfire Corona and used it like an imitation of qi attacks, picking off the targets one by one. She managed to burn them all before they hit the ground, but not before they reached the top of her arcs.

"Your speed is great," Inafay said, "but you still hesitate a moment at the beginning. You don't have to balance mana, you can just hurl it. Everything should be as easy as moving a finger."

"I am accustomed to qi," Zae Zin Nim mumbled.

"And I don't know anything about that, I'm just trying to help you based on what I know."

"It wasn't a criticism. You are very skilled." Zae Zin Nim lowered herself into a fighting stance. "I want to spar again."

They met in the center of the garden, Zae Zin Nim's palm meeting the gust of wind the other woman hurled from her fist. Even though the Coldfire Corona completely negated the wind, she wasn't able to pierce forward like she would with qi. Her opponent was already dancing to the side, wind whisking her feet from place to place, forcing Zae Zin Nim to switch to defense.

Technically the purpose of their sparring was for both of them to learn to rely entirely on a solitary source of energy for their upcoming duels. It had stopped being that for Zae Zin Nim after a single day. Inafay might be weak by the scale of the world, but she was truly skilled. Perhaps not as skilled in hand-to-hand grappling as a martial artist, but her style was a very good match for her abilities and she used them effectively.

Beyond her respect for the other woman, Zae Zin Nim was finding it to be excellent training for her mana. Even though she intended to use it combined with qi, relying on it alone deepened her understanding of the energy. Combined with all the exercises she was learning, her Class was growing by leaps and bounds.

Eventually Zae Zin Nim's superior speed allowed her to slip around another burst of wind and she thrust a hand forward. She stopped her palm an inch from Inafay's face and the momentum blew her hair back. Inafay looked surprised for only a moment before she grinned.

"Got me again." She sighed and tried to comb her hair into place with her fingers. "I hope you're not keeping count."

"If we were limited to the same strength, the fights would be much closer," Zae Zin Nim said.

"Not that it's an excuse, but I'm having a hell of a time using only the Windborn powers."

"That's unsurprising. Your abilities are excellently matched and differentiating them is not usually in your best interest."

"That's what I would have said, but I think I was wrong." Inafay shook both her hands and then summoned two miniature storms: one formed from her Class and one from Windborn powers. "Forcing myself to focus on just one has helped me improve, just like you switching from qi to mana. That might be something for the Frontier to think about more carefully."

Observations like those were one of the reasons Zae Zin Nim was coming to respect Inafay. Mana was different than qi, not inferior, and Deadwaste had many people who used it thoughtfully. She needed to truly grasp all these lessons and use them to advance her own cultivation beyond what the Brightwind sect taught.

"It's getting late," Zae Zin Nim said when she noticed the sun. "But I have one more question, for my future training, if that is permissible."

"Shoot."

"What do you think is the ideal balance of exercises, meditation, and training? My inclination is to cultivate mana, as if it was qi, but clearly that is not the best path. There are cultivators who spend a decade preparing themselves alone and emerge with great power, but such a thing could not happen with mana."

"Yeah, you're right about that. I don't know what to tell you except to keep mixing them instead of going too far in one direction."

"I was... hoping you could develop a program of study for me."

"I can't do that. No one can." Inafay put a hand on her shoulder as if she didn't even think anything about it. "Your mana is yours, so you need to figure that out. Just remember that it's a cycle: prepare new mana, test it in combat, then consolidate what you gained. Lots of different methods can take you through that cycle, but only you know how long you should spend at each stage."

Zae Zin Nim nodded, accepting this wisdom. When they both headed back for the evening she ate a quick meal and then focused on her mana as if it was cultivation. Perhaps the fact that mana training had to be specific to her could actually make her advancement smoother.

Because she was a cultivator, she would cultivate first and foremost. It just required a change of perspective. Instead of viewing her mana as a ring around her dantian, she used the qi in her core like a furnace, heating up the mana. It blazed hotter, or perhaps colder, and she struggled to restrain it. Yes, this exercise would help her prepare more mana to be forged in the next day's combat.

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She had always intended to spend more time on the Coldfire Corona, but she was especially hungry for it after first seeing an Advanced Class. The difference between Level 99 of one stage and Level 0 of the next was significant, a cultivation-class advancement. Even if she would always view her cultivation as central, she no longer feared that her mana wouldn't be able to keep up.

Eventually she seemed to hit a... well, she wasn't sure what to call it. With qi it would have been a blockage, or maybe a problem with her meridians. Her mana felt a bit tired, like she'd overworked it, but she had no idea if that meant she needed to stop or work even harder.

This was a question to ask Inafay. Zae Zin Nim padded out of her quarters down one of the pillared walkways and was surprised to see that it was already night. The gardens were picturesque at night, of course, but what surprised her was how beautiful the bleak rocky landscape around them was when cast in moonlight and shadow.

When she knocked on the other woman's door, there was no answer. Zae Zin Nim frowned, briefly imagining some sort of emergency, then felt inside... empty. She turned back, considering the complex. No one in the gardens at this time of night, leaving everything quiet. Odd.

Since her mind wasn't ready to return to cultivation, Zae Zin Nim took the far route back, taking a full circuit around the garden square. It occurred to her that this was actually the men's section, so she probably shouldn't be there. Even the locals had more propriety than that, or at least made assumptions about what a woman might be doing there at night.

That was when Zae Zin Nim saw Inafay emerge from one of the rooms. Instantly she noted several facts: her hair was mussed, her tunic wasn't tucked into her belt, and she was barefoot. There was no question about what had happened... it seemed that she had emerged from her fiance's room. Zae Zin Nim took a deep breath and reminded her that this was Deadwaste.

"Oh, hey." Inafay gave her a relaxed smile. "You're up late."

"I just wanted to ask you a question, but I see..." Zae Zin Nim's eyes flickered to the door and she quickly looked away. "We can discuss it tomorrow."

"Something wrong?"

"It is nothing. I was merely surprised to see you here."

"Bullshit. Obviously you disapprove." Inafay folded her arms and regarded her crossly.

Zae Zin Nim froze as she realized this wasn't Kai, who would either miss the cue or convince himself that he must not understand. The other woman was staring at her with a flat gaze that she really didn't want, not after the two of them had built a friendship of a sort.

"I... was raised differently," Zae Zin Nim said awkwardly. "On Cloudspire a man and a woman, even fiances... I don't mean any offense. I have great respect for you, I know that you... I mean, this doesn't change what I-"

"Okay, this is makings things worse." Inafay took a step closer and shook her head. "Maybe that's considered wrong where you come from, but Orotaisin and I love each other and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. I don't think a ceremony will change that either way."

Recognizing that she ran a very real risk of coming off wrong, Zae Zin Nim stumbled forward. "That sounds admirable. There are many people on Cloudspire who marry without love, or for dual cultivation, or into harems. I have... I have no right to disapprove of the two of you. That was wrong of me."

Inafay's eyebrows rose. "Didn't expect to get an apology from you. Look, you don't need to do that. I understand people see these things in different ways."

"How do... um, how do you see it?"

"As far as I'm concerned, what matters is your commitment to one another." Inafay roamed to the side of the walkway and stared out into the moonlit wastes. "I know lots of people who get married and then cheat on each other, which strikes me as wrong. There are some people, especially in the Water Union, who marry but still have sex with other people. That feels weird to me, because I really want to love one person wholeheartedly, but if that's what they both want... who am I to judge?"

Zae Zin Nim went to stand beside the other woman. These ideas were a bit too much for her, especially all the recreational infidelity she'd seen in the Water Union. But the lovely words Inafay was saying about commitment... that was something she should respect and had only judged because of how she'd been raised. She wanted to apologize again but was sure it would come out wrong.

"The two of you love each other, don't you?" Zae Zin Nim asked.

"Yeah." Inafay glanced back toward the door with a fond smile. "I wasn't really sure at first, because it crept up on me, but one day I realized I didn't want to imagine my life without him."

"Ah..."

"But enough mushy talk. You had a mana question?"

"We can resume tomorrow." Zae Zin Nim gave a quick bow. "Please excuse me."

Her retreat seemed to amuse the other woman, but Zae Zin Nim had too many thoughts of her own to consider. Yet sometimes those thoughts were so confusing... she set them aside and focused on her cultivation.

Even that had been disturbed, because now she couldn't stop thinking about her chakra. She didn't have many new sources of chakra here, but her yin energy was still growing steadily. It still embarrassed her a little to think about it, but she was building up all that energy for an eventual release with Kai. But more importantly for her growth, that chakra was inactive within her.

For now she viewed it like a simmering pot, casting heat up into her qi and mana. That might improve her cultivation in time, but it had an immediate effect on her mana. She was able to continue working until her mind was empty and she was exhausted.

The next day when she woke up, her mind was still trapped on the previous subjects. But after a night of sleep, she felt that she could master her embarrassment and think logically. Inafay was helping her so much and not receiving enough in return... as the more powerful cultivator, Zae Zin Nim was practically exploiting her. She thought about what she could do and tried to work up her courage for the idea.

"You ready?" Inafay asked when they met in the training garden. "You feel like you've been meditating, so I imagine you want to start with sparring."

"Actually, I want to suggest something else," Zae Zin Nim said. "As thanks for what you've taught me, I want to suggest a... a dual cultivation technique for you and your fiance."

"Okay, honestly? I've heard you use that term but I have no idea what it means."

"Dual cultivation is..." Zae Zin Nim gathered her courage and hoped she wasn't blushing too much. "It's techniques to share power via sex. Usually it's about yin and yang, feminine and masculine. But it can also be more... a merging of essence. You and your fiance both have wind powers, so..."

"Yeah, the whole reason Windborn are obsessive about this sort of thing is passing powers on to their children." Of course Inafay wasn't embarrassed - she might be about Zae Zin Nim's age, but in this way she was more mature. She put a hand on her hip and looked at her curiously. "You think we can share power between the two of us?"

"Ordinarily I would have said no, but on Rosemount they have... many different techniques. I think that some might work... if that isn't inappropriate."

Inafay just grinned. "I'm listening."

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