Die. Respawn. Repeat.

Chapter 22: Angry Birds

Mari's standing outside her hut when I return, and from the look she gives me, I assume she's been waiting for me for a while. She doesn't seem angry at my absence, at least she just nods at me, all business-like, and gestures with a wing into her home.

"We talk," she tells me. "What your name? You know me, I not know you. And who that?"

She points at Ahkelios, sitting on my shoulder and looking incredibly nervous.

At least she's not trying to eat him.

"My name's Ethan," I say. I'd almost forgotten I hadn't introduced myself to her this loop; it's hard to keep them all straight, sometimes. There's a part of me that wants to act friendly with her, like I've already met her, and I have to remind myself that this version of her has never met me; the Mari that fought with me to protect the Cliffside is gone.

...Now is probably not the time to get existential. I nod towards the glowing mantis on my shoulder. "And he's Ahkelios. He used to be a Trialgoer, too."

Mari's gaze sharpens, and she looks at him with renewed interest, and no small amount of suspicion. "...Hestia only one Trial," she says, but she doesn't sound certain about it.

"We have a lot to talk about," I say, in lieu of a full response. She frowns at me, contemplative.

"Okay. We talk inside."

I have to be careful with what I say. Tarin had been careful, too, and it surprises me that Mari doesn't already know everything he does that he hadn't found some quiet moments to tell her about it. They're both frighteningly intelligent behind the strangely translated speech, I'm pretty certain; there's a quickness to the way Mari comes to conclusions that tells me she's an old hand in more ways than one.

But now I have to figure out what I can say. I decide to start with the most important information. I can see the worry in Mari's eyes; she wants to know what happened to her husband.

"My Trial is a time loop," I tell her. "I have to go through events again and again. Your village was attacked during one of those loops, and Tarin was killed during a loop. Right now, he has Interface Firmament inside him, and he's doing everything he can to fight it off."

Mari's face does... a complicated dance of emotions. Anger is prominent among them, and then fear, and then a furrow of determination; she settles on that last one. "You find fix?" she asks. Straight to the point. "Or I find?"

I appreciate that she doesn't immediately put the onus on me, although I feel guilty about Tarin's death. I still don't know what caused it. "I spoke to your doctor," I say. "She says Phantom Roots might help that Firmament herb? It's hard to find for you, but I can sense it; apparently humans or maybe just me are better at sensing Firmament."

"But," Mari says, and I wince a bit.

"But," I echo. "I found it. It's over down south, inside a Hotspot, which is like a Trial-specific challenge. The problem is that... there's a crow called Naru that attacked me while I was in there."

I watch Mari's face carefully when I say Naru's name. I'm expecting a look of recognition, of worry, or maybe confusion; maybe she doesn't know who Naru is at all.

What I'm not expecting is the look of pure rage, of utter contempt. The intensity of it is enough to make me take a step back, startled, and Ahkelios cowers behind a bit of my hair, as if it'll protect him. I almost put a hand over him protectively, but none of Mari's anger is directed at me.

"Naru," she says, and I swear there's a flicker of red in the air around her, like her Firmament is responding to her emotions.

...There's some family history here, clearly. Mari visibly forces herself to calm down, holding up a wing so that I'll give her a moment, and I gladly do; I have to help Ahkelios, anyway, who's on the verge of dissipating himself so he doesn't have to deal with the scary bird lady.

"She's nice, I promise," I murmur, keeping my voice low, and he gives me a look that's absolutely affronted.

"She could kill you by looking at you!" he hisses.

I blink at him. "...Can she?"

"I don't know, but it feels like it!"

I sigh and try to give him an encouraging smile. "She's got a good reason to be mad, but she's not going to hurt you or us. I've fought with her before. It'll be fine."

"You two loud," Mari caws at me, wings crossed across her chest. "Rude."

...Right. I cough, embarrassed. "Sorry."

"Sorry," Ahkelios echoes, dipping into a quick bow. Mari snorts, but she seems more amused than anything else; after a moment, though, she sighs, and sits herself down on a chair with a heavy thump.

"Naru not... not supposed to come back," she said. "We told him. He no come back. Cannot. Killed... too many of us, when he came back."

My throat tightens a little. I see the expression on her face the grief of a mother, the anger that comes with disappointment. It's an all too familiar expression but I force that thought to the back of my head. Now's not the time, and the situation is... very different.

"Not on purpose," she adds, when she sees the look on his face. "Interface change people. Naru... He turn the wrong way, hit someone wrong... splat. Someone make him angry? Splat. And he too proud. Say not his fault. He not try."

The anger builds in her voice again, but this time it's controlled. Ahkelios doesn't seem afraid, this time. What I sense from him instead is something like sympathy and familiarity.

I wonder if he's seen all this as well. He's been through the loops. He's fought on Hestia. He doesn't remember much of what he's experienced, but... maybe all of this is a repeat, for him.

I don't know if I'll ever find out.

"You not fight Naru," Mari says. "I go."

"Wait, what?" I say, startled. That's not where I was expecting this conversation to go. "You shouldn't"

"We in loop, right?" she says, impatient. "My death not matter. I fail, you tell me try again. He my son. I talk to him."

"The last time one of you died you got stuck in a coma!" I don't know if that's because of the raid, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take. Mari and Tarin both are the first friends I've made in the loop. I haven't known them for long, and they always forget about me, but I don't want both of them weighing on my conscience. One is bad enough.

"And?" Mari demands. "You want fight Naru? He squish you into grubcake. Like tiny baby crow. You want that?"

I stare at her in disbelief. I don't even know how to answer that. She's not she's not wrong, exactly; the amount of power Naru wields is far beyond even the Lament at her best. I'm not going to be strong enough to beat him any time soon.

But I do have time. Not a lot of it; not if the other Trials are happening in parallel. But rushing will only cause bigger problems. The nature of the loop allows me to make mistakes, but not indefinitely. There's too much still up in the air.

It doesn't mean I want to let her do this. As far as I'm concerned, it's a suicide mission. Even if it's not maybe that crow isn't psychotic enough to kill his own mother, which frankly seems like too big of an if to me I'm not sure what we're going to get out of it.

If I follow her into the Hotspot, Naru will know something is up. If I don't, then we're back right where we started; Ahkelios and I are the only ones that really carry information between loops at the moment. Us and the Hestian Trialgoers, I suppose, given their access to information outside the loop.

I don't like that. It makes things dangerous. But I'm banking on something Tarin said not too long ago: they have to keep things in the spirit of the Trial. I'm not going to rely on that, obviously, that would be stupid. They've broken the rules here and there already. What happened to Tarin was the rules being bent.

And yet... Naru had no idea how strong I was before he checked. He still needs answers from me he needs to know why the Hotspot is active. He doesn't seem to know about Ahkelios.

Something doesn't add up, and I'm thinking that in his own way, Tarin may have left me a hint.

"I know it dangerous," Mari said. "I not fool. But Naru my son. I not asking stranger to fight him. I not asking stranger to die to him. I not care if you in loop. This is job for me."

I can't change her mind.

The glint of determination in her eyes is fierce, and she isn't going to listen to anything I have to say. I don't even have a good argument, really. Mari's strong when she's not being suppressed stronger than I am, even with all the skills I've earned and while I don't think she can stand toe to toe with Naru, she'd last longer than I can.

There's one thing I can do. If I kill myself right now and restart the loop, she won't remember her plans; she won't go off on a mission that might get her killed.

I hesitate.

Like before, I have no real reason to be paranoid. No death outside of a raid has ever carried over, and I don't think it'll start now but I struggle to get myself to accept that. I've lost people before, even outside of the loops, and it's hard.

Mari makes the decision for me. "I go now," she declares, and I speak without thinking.

"I'll go with you," I say. "If you really have to go, then fine. But I'm not letting you go alone. I need to at least see what happens, or it's not going to matter in the next loop."

Mari stares at me, and her eyes narrow. "You hide first," she says. "If he find you, fine. If not, you watch. You no come out. No matter what Naru do. You understand?"

...That's ominous. What does she think her own son is going to do to her?

"Yes," I say.

I'm not sure I'm telling the truth.

As we approach the Hotspot, still on my shoulder, Ahkelios finally speaks up. "Do I get a choice in this?" he demands.

"I mean... sure?" I stare at him. "What do you want to do?"

"Stay behind and figure this moss out."

"Ahk..." I sigh. "I mean, sure, you're your own person."

"Yessss." He pumps a tiny mantis fist in the air, a remarkably human gesture. "It's moss time!"

I let him off my shoulder, but I've walked no further than ten meters away before he disappears and reappears right back on my shoulder. We have to walk back to grab the strip of bark for him, and I get the distinct sense he's pouting.

Mari seems amused, by contrast. But there's a tension in the air. The Hotspot looms ahead of us. I've already warned her what to expect with the colors and the Firmament. According to the Timeline Tracker, Naru will show up soon.

It just remains to be seen how he'll react to the meeting.

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