Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

"So, like, what or who would you say is the toughest enemy you've had to face?" Inquired Kilzachs thoughtfully, his eyes red as he stared up at the ceiling with a slightly dazed look on his face.

"Definitely the being in charge of reincarnation in my world, we almost lost that fight," I replied with a sigh as I recalled that battle, before asking him, "What about you?"

"Hm, good question...there was this guy who could turn invisible and intangible, he was pretty tough to deal with. Ohh, the Two-Headed Serpent Mutant was pretty strong too," He responded after mulling it over.

"I think one of the most dangerous enemies we faced were the Demons...it wasn't just about strength with them, since they were able to possess us, and if we didn't have strong enough willpower to resist their possession of us, we would get taken over," Recalled Persia grimly.

"Woah, for real? That's scary," Frowned Mitchell warily.

"Yeah, it was. The Zombies were tough too...we were running for so long," Sighed Az with a shake of his head.

"It would've been bad if they hadn't been contained and destroyed in the end," I remarked wryly.

"Actually, I would've intervened if they got too out of hand, it wouldn't have been any fun if every last person in the world was a Zombie," Grinned Belia in response.

"So before you joined their side, you were basically manipulating everything that was going wrong in the world?" Seila asked her.

"Mhm, sure was! Well, I can't take too much credit for the Zombies, I was barely involved in that, directly speaking, anyway. But the Vampires, Demons and other Monsters were all me," She smirked triumphantly.

"Now that you remind me, yeah, most of the shit we went through was because of you, wasn't it?" I grumbled with a glare.

"Come on, that was like a hundred and fifty years ago," She shrugged in response.

"The time we were sealed doesn't count, so it actually hasn't been that long," I huffed in reply.

"Eh, time is time, regardless of whether we were sealed or free," She replied objectively.

"Have you guys ever ended up allying with a former enemy?" Persia asked Kilzachs and the others.

"Hm, no, can't say I have. Unless you count working with people I don't like but were already on the same side. In that case, yes, I have a couple of times," He answered after mulling it over.

"Dude, what about Hebi? He was technically our enemy before joining us," Spoke up Mitchell.

"Ohh, right. I totally forgot that he wasn't always on our side," Laughed Kilzachs in response.

"Yeah, he's pretty chill and friendly, so it's easy to forget," Nodded Suri in agreement.

"Plus even when he was our enemy, it's not he killed or even hurt anyone before joining our side, he just sort of surrendered right away, didn't he?" Chimed in Katie.

"Mhm, that's right," Replied Kilzachs with a nod.

"Huh, now that I think about it, a lot of our allies started off as our enemies. Some of the former members of The Valaque Empire, the Vampires, the Demons, Belia, the other races...," Recalled Az wryly.

"Woah, you're right...the majority of our current allies used to be our enemies. There actually aren't a lot of people in our nation who started out as allies from the beginning," Mused Persia thoughtfully.

"How often have you guys actually killed an enemy instead of allying with them afterwards?" Inquired Mitchell in bemusement.

"Oh, believe me, we've killed plenty of enemies. Most recently, this guy who was called the Spectre," Frowned Az with a shake of his head.

"You know, about that...I might be wrong, but I'm fairly certain that that guy was actually a serial killer in this world who reincarnated to our world. There was this serial killer codenamed Phantom in this world, and the way he operated is eerily similar to what we've heard about how the Spectre did things," I remarked, as I took a puff and slowly exhaled through my nose.

"I've heard of the Phantom, he targeted young women who were, like, celebrities, journalists, reporters, basically anyone who had any level of fame. Their bodies were often found badly mutilated and stuff, and sometimes along with the corpses of their loved ones," Said Mitchell, as he blew out rings of smoke after taking a puff.

"Oh, yeah, I think I've read about that too. Since no one found any real leads on him, a lot of people assume that those murders were carried out by a group instead of a single person," Chimed in Suri.

"Nope, it was one person. Well, there were some copycat crimes carried out, but they had no real connection to the original. My old mentor and I actually found out his appearance and identity, but we never actually went after him," I shrugged in response.

"Why not? I'm sure he had a large bounty on his head," Pointed out Kilzachs.

"Yeah, he did. But I don't remember why we didn't go after him...well, there was the fact that my old mentor only took on jobs directly assigned by clients instead of going after bounties, so I guess no one ever hired us to take him out."

"Why not go after him, anyway? I mean, you were a pro assassin, right? You probably wouldn't have had too much trouble killing him," Surmised Mitchell thoughtfully.

"Well, I was raised with an assassin's mindset at the time, so I didn't care about stuff like the greater good or whatever. When I reincarnated, I didn't want to go with the same, cold mindset I'd been taught.

I'm sure there were certain aspects of being raised that way that stuck with me without me even realizing it, but for the most part, I tried to live a more carefree and normal life after reincarnating in my current world.

Basically, I just sort of emulated an amalgamation of various anime protagonist traits. And I ended up becoming the most powerful being in my world," I laughed as I recalled how that went.

"That's wild...I just went through the same procedure than everyone else goes through and ended up be coming the most powerful being in this world," Laughed Kilzachs jokingly.

"You sound like you're kidding, but that's probably accurate...we'd all be dead if there was something out there more powerful than you," Responded Mitchell wryly.

"True that," Remarked Suri in agreement.

"You guys are exaggerating," He shook his head dismissively.

"No, they're really not," Spoke up Katie.

"Ooh, I have an idea. Before we return to our world, you two should totally duel while holding nothing back!" Grinned Belia with a gleam in her eyes.

"I'm on board with that. Now that I know a bit more of what you're capable of, maybe I can give you a serious challenge...and who knows, I might even defeat you," Smirked Kilzachs tauntingly.

​ He looks pretty stoned, so it's kinda tough to take him a hundred percent seriously.

"Sure, why not? For all I know, this could be my last chance to have a fight that'll genuinely make me push my limits," I replied after mulling it over.

"Have to say, I envy that. Lately, it's felt like things have gone wrong one thing after another with barely any respite. It might be boring, but a proper peace sounds really nice," He sighed wistfully.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not complaining that things are peaceful in my world now. And I know how it feels when major incidents keep popping up in rapid succession, it can be pretty exhausting. But that said, while I certainly don't wish for more trouble to start, I do sometimes miss fighting seriously," I remarked sheepishly.

"You know, if you want something to happen, I'm open to stirring things up after we get back to our world," Smirked Belia mischievously.

"If you're really sure you want me as an enemy again, then yeah, go for it, just see what happens," I responded with an icy smile.

"...on second thought, maybe I'll just play some harmless pranks or something."

"Depending on what these 'pranks' of yours entail, you could be in for quite a world of hurt," I warned her.

"I'll, uh...I'll keep that in mind," She replied quietly, as she took a couple of puffs and exhaled, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

"Hey, guys, let's try this! Let's each light up a joint, and see who can take the longest puff without stopping or pulling away!" Suggested Mitchell with a grin.

"Sure, I'm game...and I bet I'll win with ease," I smirked confidently.

"You're on, challenge accepted!"

I have to say, this vacation has been a lot more fun than I ever expected it to be. Too bad it's coming to an end soon, I'd have liked to stay here a while longer. But all good things come to an end, and I've got a country to run in my current world. Still, I won't forget this, even if the people of this world will...

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