Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Chapter 3: Dumbo?

Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

Wang Zhong, the village head of Jinyintan Village was balding and on the plump side with a belly... but was also quite tall.

He was also one of the more competent people in the village, and was a chief labor contractor before assuming his present position as village chief, having taken up many projects within the city and across the province. Many other villagers had worked together with him as well.

Then, after becoming the village chief in the previous year, Wang Zhong had handed all the construction work to his son.

But at present, reflected beneath the ‘streetlights’ of his roof was a big wolfdog. It was rolling around, shrieking wildly as it foamed at the mouth... which kept bubbling as it poured outward.

“Are you alright, Chief Wang?”

Jiang He’s voice wafted from beyond the yard even as he slapped on the front gates loudly.

“What’s wrong, Old Wang?”

Old Wang’s wife had come out of the house as well after straightening her clothes, and was left stunned by the sight before her. “Could it be epileptic?” She quickly asked. “Q-quick, we have to call a vet.”

“Nonsense!”

Wang Zhong scowled as he rebuked her. “How could a dog be epileptic? Go open the gates—who could it be in the middle of the night!?”

But even as he cursed, he was only staring at the rolling dog without going to it for a closer look.

With Dumbo acting like that, what if it bit him out of a moment of madness?

Hence, he went back inside to find his phone and was ready to call a vet when he heard his wife open the front door, saying, “Oh, Xiao Jiang! You could have told us you were coming... You’ve even brought a gift with you?”

Even as she spoke, she was reaching out to take the plastic bag Jiang He was holding.

The same plastic bag which was carrying the meat Jiang He had just bought.

Jiang He: “???”

“Madam Wang,” he answered, tightening his grip over the bag. “I was just passing by after visiting the butcher’s shop... that’s when I heard Dumbo shrieking loudly. Oh, right, is Chief Wang alright?”

“Eh?”

Wang Zhong’s wife left her hands hanging mid-air, unsure how to continue the conversation right then.

Wait...

Why was her husband suddenly dragged in?

By then, Jiang He had already dashed up to Wang Zhong’s side.

Then, after just a single glance at the wolfdog that was rolling around, its cries getting softer and was breathing out more than in, he exclaimed, “Oh no, Chief! Your Dumbo must have been poisoned! ”

“Poisoned?”

Wang Zhong asked, taken aback. “What do you mean, poisoned?”

“According to my observation, it must be rat poison!”

Jiang He stayed calm as he drew out a cucumber with a turn of his hand, snapped it in half and crushed it in his hand, before ignoring all else as he stuffing everything down Dumbo’s throat.

Only then did Wang Zhong pull him and yelled, “What the hell are you doing, Xiao Jiang?! What did you just feed Dumbo?”

“A cucumber.”

Holding the remaining half of the cucumber, Jiang He bit a mouthful off with a loud crunch. The sweet scent from it wafted out, with Wang Zhong sniffing it before cursing, “Do you take me for an idiot? What cucumber is yellow, and so huge?!”

That was certainly true: the half-piece of cucumber in Jiang He’s hand was larger than anything in the vegetable store—it was large, yellow, and smelled so sweet.

“Cucumbers are yellow. What other color could they be, black?”

That was when Dumbo leaped up from the ground with a whine, shaking its fur energetically before darting back inside its fence.

“???”

Wang Zhong was left bewildered, but just as he was about to press Jiang He, the other man waved him off, saying, “Chief Wang, Madam Wang. I still have things to do so I’ll get home first.”

Even though he looked impassive, he was actually very excited!

“It really works as an antidote! Still, the rat poison is highly toxic but it only counts as normal poison... I wonder if the cucumber works against poisons like the Crane’s Red Crown or the Seven-Step Intestine Cutter?”

When Jiang He reached the gates, he turned around to look at Dumbo behind its doggie fence, getting another idea. “I remember a pesticide called paraquat which is even more poisonous. Any human drinking it wouldn’t survive even if they reached the hospital in time and had their liver cleaned. Let’s get our hands on a bottle to try.”

Behind its fence, Dumbo suddenly shuddered and whined softly.

Meanwhile, Wang Zhong had walked up to the fence and stared at his own dog for over ten minutes.

He looked more blank now when he saw that there was nothing wrong with Dumbo at all now.

...What actually happened just now?

First off, Dumbo had a stroke.

Then, Jiang He ran in and fed it half a... let’s call it a cucumber for now.

And after that, Dumbo had recovered.

“Rat poison?”

“How could that brat tell Dumbo had rat poison? Hold on... there’s no rat poison in my house, is there? Could that brat be still nursing a grudge over Dumbo biting it last time, and tried to poison it?

“Wait, that’s not right either...

“If Dumbo really ate rat poison, how could it be saved with just half a stick of cucumber?

Wang Zhong was mumbling even as he returned inside his house, and suddenly asked, “Dear, could you get us a cucumber?”

***

On the other hand, Jiang He had finished the remaining half of the cucumber on his way home.

“My digestion must have strengthened considerably after ascending as a Quasi Martial Artist. I must have absorbed most of the cucumber’s attributes as well, which is why I don’t feel stuffed after a while.”

He felt that he could take in another cucumber.

That being said, after eating two-and-a-half in one night, he really couldn’t eat them raw anymore.

After cooking some rice and making a cucumber coleslaw, Jiang He picked up his phone, sweeping through short video clips on his phone.

Suddenly, his eyes straightened as he exclaimed in surprise, “Isn’t that Two Dog Li?”

“He’s having a livestream?”

Two Dog Li’s real name was Li Fei, and he came from the same village as Jiang He.

And in Jiang He’s memory, they were grade schoolmates, but Two Dog Li dropped out right after finishing grade school—his old man had bought over three hundred goats, and had him herd them around.

Back then, their classmates had mocked Two Dog Li, and were naturally surprised that by the time they finished high school and university afterward, he had become a breeder with some local fame.

And now, he founded a breeder’s union for livestock, rearing hundreds of cows and thousands of goats to earn a yearly income worth seven-figures, affording him BMWs and taking a refined woman as his wife.

When Jiang He clicked into the livestream, he found Two Dog Li broadcasting live inside his own farm.

He was standing in front of a small tractor and beaming at the camera. “Brothers, wasn’t I having a fever just a few days ago? It turns out that I have gained unlimited power after my fever broke—here, let me present a one-hand tractor lift!”

Extending his hand, he grabbed hold of the massive wheels of the tractor, and with a burst of strength...

The whole tractor leaned sideways.

Then, in the next split second...

Beep!

The screen went dark.

[Apologies. The livestream you were watching was suspected of rule violation and has been closed for the moment.]

Jiang He: “...”

The livestream was gone.

After half a beat, Jiang He let out a long, drawn out breath and muttered, “It seems the revival of Spirit Qi has reached its peak. And according to Two Dog Li, he had suddenly become overflowing with power after his fever broke after a few days. Could it be...”

One word came to Jiang He’s mind right then—awakening!

“Let’s wait until tomorrow morning. I’ll go to Two Dog’s breeder’s union and ask about it.”

Dinner and washing the dishes—the life of a bachelor was very dull and boring.

Before going to bed, Jiang He suddenly remembered there was still half a bag of corn seeds back home.

Grabbing a handful, he went out to the orchard and planted one seed after into the soil.

“I wonder if my own crop seeds would change after I plant them now... Oh, wow, what was that?”

“After planting his corn, Jiang He sensed something unusual behind him, only to find a pair of oily green eyes staring at him in the dark night.

“Arf!”

“Dumbo?”

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