Chapter 3: 3: The Wizard of Secret Arts
Lucas: “It’s not that big of a deal. It was getting good when the husband came back, and I was in such a hurry that I escaped to the bathroom.”
Igni: “...the bathroom…?”
Although Lucas walked all the way here from upstream, he did not have a single drop of water on him. It was because of the defensive field he had that encircled his body.
This defensive field was known to be only second to the [EARTH] Extreme’s defenses. There are even legends that say that it withstood the blast of the highest tier’s dragon’s breath.
No one would believe me if I told them that he used it to keep sewage waste water from getting on him.
Lucas: “Well, so I was in the restroom when the husband said his stomach was not feeling well.” Igni: “...and then?”
Lucas: “Hmm. So if there was a window, I would have escaped through there, but there wasn’t one. So I thought, the only way out is through the toilet. That was the brilliant epiphany me, the ’Extreme,’ had.”
Igni: “Yeah, that makes no sense.”
Lucas: “But the hole to the restroom is too small. A person could not fit through there."
Igni: “........yeah, that’s true…”
Why am I even listening to this story?
Lucas: “So I disintegrated my body into molecules, and flushed myself down to escape. Once I was in a bigger space, I returned my body to normal. See! It worked.”
Wait, what the heck are you even talking about.
And he even mentioned nonchalantly a spell that no one’s ever heard of.
Lucas: “It’s just more fun when you know there’s a husband around.”
Igni: “....is that so....”
Lucas: “So Igni, why are you of all places doing here?"
Lucas gave a piercing glance staring intently into Igni’s eyes.
No matter how aged he is, his stare was intense as always. Igni choked on his words.
….He choked, but that was only momentary. Everything is now just a thing of the past.
Igni: “I got kicked out.”
Lucas: “Oh? You are the same as I am then.”
Lucas laughed merrily.
Igni: “...no, we’re not the same. I had… no talent.”
Igni could smile a bit watching his grandfather laugh. If he couldn’t laugh about it, it hurt too much to speak about it.
Lucas: “The Compatibility Ritual?”
Igni: “...yeah.”
Lucas: “And the result?”
Igni: “[FIRE] : F”
At this moment, a complicated inscription forms in Lucas’ eyes.
Lucas: “....Oh. I see. This is interesting. Very interesting indeed…”
He seems to be satisfied with his analysis.
This is Grandpa’s most famous spells, [APPRAISAL].”
Lucas only uses this spell under 3 circumstances.
1. When he needs to see someone else’s [STATUS]. With [APPRAISAL], you can analyze the [STATUS] of others.
2. When going against a strong enemy. If you know the enemies magical trait, you can use the magical trait strongest against it.
3. When checking out a woman’s chest, hip, and waist size.
Only under these 3 circumstances!
But not a lot of people know about the 3rd condition. This is something only Lucas and Igni has kept a secret between each other.
Igni: “...Grandpa. I... couldn’t get strong.”
Igni laughed at himself as he spit out the words.
Lucas was the real deal. His [APPRAISAL] is far more sophisticated than the Church’s magic crystal, and is said to be able to see depths of a human potential. So he should be able to see that Igni, who is a [FIRE] user, can only use the [FIREBALL] spell.
But Lucas silently stared intently at Igni.
Lucas: “Oye, Igni”
Igni: “...Yeah?”
Lucas: “You still want to be popular with the ladies?”
Igni: “.............”
What is….
What is this person even talking about?
Igni: “Grandpa, were you even listening to me? I told you, I CAN’T GET STRONGER…!!”
Lucas-Style Secret to Popularity Rule Number 1
——Women love Strong Men
If that’s true, then I have no chance at stepping into that realm.
I cannot imagine myself, incapable of getting stronger, standing in that ring.
Lucas: “Oye, Igni, I’ll ask you once more. Do you want to be popular?”
Igni: “..........I…”
I do.
Up until the Compatibility Ritual, I vaguely thought about those things.
Lucas: “Igni, you want to be popular, right?”
Igni: “Grandpa, it’s not right. I already have a fiancé.”
Lucas: “A true man does not settle with just one.”
Igni: “W-wait, really?!”
The banter continued between himself and Lucas.
For the last year, not once did Igni think about what Lucas just said.
….Do you want to be popular?
I consider the question carefully.
I cannot see Rose ever again.
I’m pretty sure the marriage arrangement has already been dissolved.
But what’s the point of becoming popular in this state?
I can’t use magic. I can’t even get a job.
….A man like me could… never be popular.
Igni: “Grandpa, I… I can’t be popular.”
Lucas: “Listen to me carefully!”
BAM!!
Grandpa only screamed and yet something thrust me against the wall.
Amazing. He just exerted raw magical force, and it blew me into the wall…!
Lucas: “I’m asking you if you WANT to be popular. I’m not asking if you are or are not presently!”
...such pressure.
Igni forgot to breathe and just stared back at his grandpa.
Lucas: “You decide your fate! Right now! I’m this moment! Do you want to go back to your comfortable hell or do you choose to be molded in a storm of real fire and brimstone in an actual hell!”
Igni: “....I….”
It’s like trying to wring out the words out of my body.
Why am I so nervous?
Lucas’ eyes lock hold of Igni’s.
…..I can’t breathe.
I… I only have the strength to say one more sentence.
Yes, this is the first time Igni saw his grandfather in his Extreme mode.
He isn’t known as Humanity’s strongest for nothing.
Lucas is also going to determine everything by Igni’s next words.
It will determine the rest of Igni’s life….!
Igni: “I……..want…..to be…. popular.”
Lucas: “Oh ho…”
Igni: “I want to be popular, grandpa!”
Lucas: “Well said! That’s my grandson!”
The nervous tension is released.
I take a deep, slow breath.
Without bothering about how bad the sewers smell, Igni continued to take a few slow breaths.
Igni: “But… but grandpa.”
Lucas: “What is it?”
Lucas reverted to his normal self and responded as he has always done to his grandson.
Igni: “I’m… super weak.”
Lucas: “For now, yes”
Igni: “I… can really get stronger?”
Lucas: “Yes, no doubt about that.”
Igni: “....and popular?”
Lucas: “my dear Igni, maybe it’s time that I taught you the ultimate secret of becoming popular.”
Igni: “T-The… ULTIMATE…. SECRET?!?!
Lucas: “Yes, listen well and listen carefully.”
And without any hesitation, Lucas boldly exclaims the next words:
Lucas: “THE SECRET TO BEING POPULAR RULE NUMBER 1: —WOMEN LOVE STRONG MEN!!”
Igni: “I ALREADY KNOW THAT!!!!”
Lucas: “But they love even more MEN-WHO-ARE-TRYING-THEIR-HARDEST!!!!”
Igni: “......!!!!”
You could see the revelation strike Igni across his face.
W—-wait. So that means…
In that case……..
At that moment, Igni saw the <TRU•TH>.
He trembles uncontrollably at the newfound truth in his hands….
Igni: “I….I-I-I…. I can be… p-p-popular…..! “
Lucas: “Yes, Yes Igni! You most definitely can!! Now follow me!!!”
Igni: “I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth!!”
Lucas: “Alright then! Let’s stop wasting time and start training!!!”
Igni: “W-wait, grandpa!!”
Igni sticks out the waste filled bucket towards his grandfather.
Igni: “Let’s get out of here first.”
Lucas: “Yes, let’s.”
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