Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 24 - I will always love slag men!

Lu Hang was fully concentrated on the game, so he definitely couldn’t be called away. He was only willing to leave when rain droplets started falling.

By the time they got back to the dormitory, both of them were drenched.

Lu Hang knew that he was guilty, so he dared not fight for the bathroom with Xiang Huaizhi and obediently waited outside for him to finish.

After taking a bath, Xiang Huaizhi used his towel to wipe his hair for a while before turning on his computer.

8pm. They had already missed playing in the arena. But he had already gotten quite a lot of points back recently, so it was okay even if he didn’t play once.

He glanced at his friend icon. There were no signs of activity.

A few minutes later, he opened up his friend list and confirmed that Xiao Tianjing was online.

Why was someone who usually sent him messages the second he came online suddenly quiet today?

Just as he was thinking about it, his friend icon suddenly started flickering.

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: Are you there? This is extremely urgent!!

[Friend] Yearning For: Un.

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: Xianxian took a group of people along with her to initiate a compulsory PK with Xiao Tianjing.

[Friend] Yearning For: ?

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: It’s true, they’re in Black Wood Forest. Can you come over?

Jing Huan had indeed been dragged into a compulsory PK by Immortal Mengmeng. In fact, he had seen the party following close behind him the moment he had entered Black Wood Forest, but he had thought that they were just there to do quests, since…

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: I just destroyed your equipment not long ago, why have you still not learnt from that experience? [doubtful]

[Friend] Immortal Mengmeng: Cut the crap, I was afk-ing then.

Jing Huan was halfway through typing when he was forced to stop to dodge a skill.

Immortal Mengmeng had come prepared this time. She had brought along two warlocks and one assassin, a very standard killing line-up.

Very soon, more and more people had gathered to spectate the show. Jing Huan found it a bit strange. Black Wood Forest wasn’t some popular map, so why would so many people gather all of a sudden?

[Current] Peachy Fate: They’re actually fighting…

[Current] Watermelon Lady: I rushed over at top speed!

[Current[ Ji Xiaonian: Today, we’ll be pursuing the mistress Xiao Tianjing indefinitely. Interested players are welcome to watch at NCH stream room 8121xx. [throws flowers]

Jing Huan immediately understood — Immortal Mengmeng was streaming.

Immortal Mengmeng was standing right at the end of her party right now. After casting all the defense and continuous healing BUFFs on herself, she spoke slowly.

[Current] Immortal Mengmeng: I’ll see how you can escape this time. No matter how fast you Fairy Fox Caves are, can you be quicker than assassins?

He couldn’t. This was Black Wood Forest, and the speed of assassins in this map was so disgusting that it was outrageous.

Jing Huan cursed inwardly.

Yearning For, what kind of shitty taste do you have?!

The warlocks kept throwing talismen at Jing Huan. Jing Huan managed to avoid them, but every time after he dodged, he would get brutally stabbed in the back by the assassin. His blood pool couldn’t supply him with enough HP either, so the situation with his HP didn’t seem good.

[Current] Peachy Fate: Wait, but why do I think that Xiao Tianjing’s really good at maneuvering…if it were me, I would’ve already been sealed until I couldn’t move an inch by the warlocks.

[Current] Youth Chasing the Wind: It’s not ‘you think’, she’s indeed very strong. I fought against her and Yearning For in the arena before. The DPS on my side couldn’t touch her at all.

[Current] Clouds: No, but why do I find this so strange? Immortal Mengmeng claimed that she wanted to kill Xiao Tianjing with such great fanfare, yet she’s only been hiding in the back without moving ever since the battle started? And even stacked so many defense attributes on herself? Emmm her equipment seems better than the little fairy fox’s from any angle right? Does she need to be such a coward?

[Current] Ji Xiaonian: Don’t talk so much if you don’t understand what’s going on. Watch if you want, leave if you don’t. To the one who keeps talking drivel, watch out, the next one might be you.

[Current] Clouds: How’s it any of your business? Are you Immortal Mengmeng’s secretary?

[Current] Ji Xiaonian: Fuck, pay attention to what you say. I’m her friend.

Jing Huan looked at the money on him and felt his heart ache a little.

In order to get equipment, he had just bought 400 yuan worth of game coins from the marketplace. He would have to drop 200 yuan if he died.

Jing Huan had been keeping his fake persona’s life story in mind — this was worth one week of his allowance ah!

He must make full use of this later to demonstrate to Yearning For how miserable he is!!

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Do you dare take me on alone in a 1v1?

[Current] Immortal Mengmeng: It’s a problem that can be resolved with money, so why should I 1v1 you?

The crowd around them was growing, and the opinions of the players began growing more diverse as well. Some said that Jing Huan deserved it, but there were also some who said that Immortal Mengmeng was crossing the line. For a moment, the dialog boxes popping up above the players almost overshadowed this corner of the forest.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Oh.

After answering this, Jing Huan suddenly stopped running. She sat down on the spot and immediately got hit by a warlock’s Imprison Talisman.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Come ba, if you want to kill me then do it quick, pick up the pace.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Gege’s still waiting for me to do instances with him. [touches head]

[Current] Immortal Mengmeng: …

He had undoubtedly poked at Immortal Mengmeng’s sore spot.

[Current] Immortal Mengmeng: Do you think I’ll let you go after killing you just once?

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Managing to kill me even once is because of your dog shit luck, big sis.

After the provocation, Jing Huan sighed inwardly.

He had just passed a few days in peace before it was a mess all over again. He even wondered if this account had cursed him. He used to play NCH for so many years and had never been hunted down even once.

Immortal Mengmeng didn’t talk anymore. He didn’t know what she said in a voice message, but the two assassins suddenly rushed up at the same time, seemingly intending to kill him in one strike.

Jing Huan’s heart was aching over the two hundred gold when he saw a dialog box pop up on his game interface all of a sudden.

【Yearning For has invited you to join his party. Yes, No.】

Jing Huan was stunned and reflexively clicked yes.

…when did this person come?

Players in wild PK would not be moved to a map designated for PK, so they could join a team or accept teammates at any time. When there were group scuffles, situations where teammates ran back from the rebirth checkpoint after they died to join the team and PK again often happened.

And now, he had joined Yearning For’s party, meaning that the compulsory PK Immortal Mengmeng initiated with him was now also shouldered by Yearning For.

Yearning For leapt out of the crowd and landed in front of Xiao Tianjing. The weapon in his hand suddenly turned into a giant sabre that blocked in front; the hidden weapons thrown out by the assassins all struck the sabre and fell down with a clang.

The crowd was instantly shocked silent.

[Current] Rain: When did Yearning For come…I didn’t see him at all?!

[Current] Peachy Fate: Looks like our dialog boxes were too powerful, they even managed to cover up the light of a divine artifact.

[Current] Minminchong ah: What the fuck, isn’t this too exciting? Is Yearning For slapping Immortal Mengmeng’s face in public?! What a cruel man.

[Current] Even if Fate makes fool of people: He can’t help it. When your new flame and old lover fight, you’re bound to have to give up on one.

…………

Jing Huan snapped out of his daze a bit. “Gege…”

“Can you seal one of the warlocks?” Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Jing Huan instantly understood what he wanted to do. “I can.”

“I’ll break through the right side, you seal the right warlock. Beware of the assassin, don’t get killed.”

In the second that Yearning For finished talking, the two of them moved at the same time and rushed to the right together.

The warlock on the right was shocked and thought he was about to be killed.

But he wasn’t. Xiao Tianjing rushed in front of him and abruptly threw out a cobweb at him. Caught off guard, his magic was sealed off.

Yearning For changed the sabre in his hand into a long sword and swished right past him, charging straight at Immortal Mengmeng, who was at the back!

No one present responded before seeing the long sword cleave past Immortal Mengmeng’s Golden Immortal Armour and hack right down on her body. After four successive strikes, the wings behind her seemed to lose their vitality as they gently trembled twice, then fell harsly to the ground along with her avatar.

【System announcement: Player Immortal Mengmeng lost “Peacock Feather Spirit” because she was inadvertently killed by the other party in a compulsory PK.】

Immortal Mengmeng’s hair accessory had been destroyed.

This counterattack had happened too quickly, and Immortal Mengmeng had died too suddenly as well. The battle had ended, but no one in the crowd left. Even the killer party that Immortal Mengmeng had invited stood still for a long time without saying a word.

They specialised in accepting assassination orders, and after being in business for so many years, this was the first time where not only did they fail in killing the target, but their employer ended up getting fucked instead.

Just when everyone finally snapped out of their stupors and were ready to type out their excitement, they just saw a “swish”, and the two people who were standing in the center had flown somewhere else long ago. Since Yearning For was around, the killer party didn’t dare chase after them.

Xiang Huaizhi brought her back to the main city.

And it was only after returning to the main city that the person in the party finally showed some signs of activity. She turned around, and her fox tail swayed along with her movements.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: !!!!!

Xiang Huaizhi’s eyelid twitched, as if he suddenly sensed something.

[Party] Yearning For: I’m leaving.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: AAAAHHH GEGE YOU’RE SO AMAZING QAQ I I I I I LOVE YOU TO DEATH! Humble me is unable to repay! So I I I can only offer myself to you in marriage!! I’ll be a cow or horse for you! I’ll wash clothes and cook for you!

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: And of course, I can be your wife too! Everything is OK!

[Party] Yearning For: …

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: For the rest of my life! I will be infatuated with Gege! Be mad for Gege! Slam into walls with a boom for Gege!

Xiang Huaizhi paused while leaving. He decided to eradicate all these strange ideas of Xiao Tianjing’s while they were still in their cradles.

[Party] Yearning For: She’s killing you because of me.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: Ah?

[Party] Yearning For: You should know ba, if it wasn’t because of me, you wouldn’t have gotten into such a mess. I implicated you.

Xiang Huaizhi pondered for a moment, then typed.

[Party] Yearning For: I’m a slag guy.

Xiao Tianjing turned motionless in an instant, and she looked quite silly.

Did she turn dumb?

Xiang Huaizhi placed his finger tips on the keyboard, waited for a while, then typed. “So in the future–”

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: So what if you’re a slag guy?

[Party] Yearning For: ?

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: How good are slag men?!

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: Slag men can write poems for me! They can pa pa for three days straight! Warm green teas first then lolis next! 24 hours online with their gentleness! 72 hours on standby to warm your heart! Won’t check their messages while dating! Definitely won’t pester you after a break up! They’ll make brown sugar water on your periods! They’ll say good night before going to bed!

[Party] Yearning For: …………

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: Oh my God! Slag men are the treasures of the world! I will always love slag men!!!

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Zryuu: …………………… Huanhuan………… that justification at the end omg………….

Juurensha: AHAHAHAHA Huanhuan, you’re too much, hahahaha (although someone making brown sugar water would be much appreciated, thanks)

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Zryuu: No updates until next Monday, injured my fingers and I’ll be busy this weekend~

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