Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 56 - Could I be your ancestor, damnit

Edited by Divetus

Jing Huan: “?”

Your daddy has inundated you these past few months, not neglecting a single decoration of acting spoiled and cute. Just in terms of calling you Gege, I’ve yelled it enough times to vomit at this point, and yet you tell me that you only think of me as a friend?

Then, it’s actually really hard to become your friend?

Curses bubbled in Jing Huan’s stomach—if he managed to somehow trick Yearning For into revealing his real address, and he went over there to perform a real life PK with him, even if he had to spend 15 days at the police station, it’d still be more fun than chasing hopelessly barefoot after this train every day.

He thought this in his heart of hearts.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: [falls to the ground and spits out blood]

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: T.T I don’t even count as a Meimei… Really… Wuwuwuwu!!

He was so angry he couldn’t even speak, so he could only type.

[Team] Yearning For: ….

[Team] Yearning For: If you want to be a Meimei, that’s fine too.

Could I be your ancestor, damn it.

Jing Huan took a few deep breaths and comforted himself in his heart.

Meimei is Meimei, at the very least, there’s room for development to be more than just a friend?

[Team] Yearning For: I’m going to go do dailies, you go play by yourself.

Play by yourself.

It sounded like something you’d tell your kid to do.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: No, I want to afk in Gege’s team!

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: I’m just waiting for takeout anyway. I haven’t eaten breakfast yet, and I’m so hungry that I don’t want to move. QvQ

Xiang Huaizhi checked the time and summoned his own mount.

“Whatever you want.” He sent Jing Huan a ride invitation. “Come up.”

It was the first time that Jing Huan had seen Yearning For’s mount.

In NCH, mounts were similar to apparel. They had no bonus attributes and wouldn’t increase speed; the bonus buff for movement speed still needed to be purchased separately. When this system was first introduced, the design was chased down and cursed at by all the players for a whole month, and even the developers’ families weren’t spared.

In addition, riding would hide a player’s weapons, so by now, there were fewer and fewer players who would ride a mount.

With the most dazzling and exaggerated weapon in the entire game, Yearning For was even less likely to use a mount.

Jing Huan clicked his tongue.

Sheer vanity!

The takeout arrived soon. Jing Huan took a bite of the youtiao and was considering whether he wanted to find a movie to pass the time, when his friend info box popped up.

[Friend] Chunxiao: Are you there?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Yep!

[Friend] Chunxiao: Immediately refresh your instance progress. If you still don’t return to the guild, Yearning For is going to do guild instances with other female players.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ?

[Friend] Chunxiao: You’ve only left the guild for a few days, but a lot of people have come to find me, saying they want to join Yearning For’s team.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: I’ve applied to join the guild! Approve it! [angry]

[Guild Announcement: Welcome Xiao Tianjing in joining the Idle Pavilion Guild! ]

[Guild] Peachy Fate: Welcome welcome!!

[Guild] Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: Welcome back!

[Guild] Love is For You to Eat: Tossing out flowers!

[Guild] Qiufeng: Welcome = 3 = mwaaah.

[Guild] Long Road Ahead: Xiao Jingjing is back.

[Guild] Xiao Tianjing: En, if I still didn’t come back, Gege would go do guild instances with other women. QAQ

[Guild] Long Road Ahead: Understood.

[Guild] Qiufeng: It’s okay, I could still take you ya.

[Guild] Chunxiao: Since everyone is back, I’d like to make a special announcement. As the largest guild in the server, we aren’t afraid of any trouble. Everyone makes positive contributions to the guild, and as the deputy guild leader, I will also be responsible for all of you. If something happens in the future, please consult with me at the time. Don’t worry about bothering us, a problem for you isn’t just bad for you, but also bad for the guild’s image.

For a moment, Jing Huan felt like a schoolboy in training.

However, Chunxiao’s words were not too harsh. He really had been very impulsive when he left the guild.

[Guild] Xiao Tianjing: Okay, I will definitely not leave the guild next time. [wipes tears]

[Guild] Chunxiao: ?

[Guild] Chunxiao: Just don’t have a next time ba.

[Guild] Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: But I am very curious… Why hasn’t Wheat’s Number One Fan made a move yet? In the past, you should be chased and hunted down by all the assassin groups in the server, right?

[Guild] Affectionate in Silence: Are you crazy, which assassin group would dare to cut down one of Yearning For’s teammates?

[Guild] Xiao Tianjing: (/ / / V / / /) With Gege around, I’m definitely not afraid of him.

Silently looking at the guild channel, Xiang Huaizhi had no intentions of participating in the chat.

“You haven’t finished your dailies yet?” Lu Hang turned to him and asked, “We’re all waiting on you two to go do instances.”

“No, soon.”

Lu Hang could just see the chat channel from the angle he was sitting at. He teased, “Why are you peeping at the screen ah? And you’re not even saying anything?”

Xiang Huaizhi looked away. “What’s there to say.”

“Merciless.”

Xiang Huaizhi ignored him and moved his fingers to deliver his quests.

The cellphone on the table suddenly rang. Xiang Huaizhi checked the caller ID, and his movements paused.

He typed out “taking a call” in game, then took off his headphones and pressed the call button.

On the phone, a girl yelled at him angrily, “Xiang Huaizhi!”

The voice was loud and clear, so even Lu Hang could faintly hear it.

Just hearing her voice, Xiang Huaizhi had a headache. He pulled away his cell phone and said, “I’ve said it many times, you’re not allowed to call me by my full name.”

When Jing Huan came back from throwing out the trash, he saw that his friend info was flashing.

Long Road Ahead: Xiao Jingjing, something happened!

Long Road Ahead: Xiangxiang is calling another girl on the phone right now!

Xiao Tianjing: ?

Xiao Tianjing: QAQ How did this happen! With whom!

Long Road Ahead: I don’t know. I only heard a girl’s voice. Xiangxiang asked her to call him by his first name!

Xiao Tianjing: …. It couldn’t be…his girlfriend…

Long Road Ahead: No way it’s that, Xiangxiang has no girlfriend. I live with him every day, wouldn’t I know?

Jing Huan reflexively bit his thumb.

Yearning For actually opened his mouth and let someone else call him by his first name!?

Crisis! Big crisis!

At the same time, he was a little upset. Why did he feel like, be it the girl on the phone or Immortal Mengmeng, they were all treated thousands of times better than he was by Yearning For.

And before today, he had always thought that he and Yearning For had successfully reached the golden stage of “ambiguity”, with only a step at most left to cross over into intimacy.

Yet, it turned out that Yearning For said that he thought of him as a friend.

Although he had never dated before, he knew that if a boy had some secret feelings towards a girl, he would definitely not say something like “I think of you as a friend”.

The emotions that he has worked so long for are still a long march off in the horizon.

Jing Huan had to start reflecting on his methods thus far. Were they really effective with Yearning For?

Had he been laboring in the wrong direction?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Lu Ge, can you help me find out the meaning of something…

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: What meaning? The identity of that girl? OK.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Not that T.T. I want to know what kind of girl Gege likes.

It’s fine, wherever he falls down, he can just pick up from there. Any kind of person Yearning For likes, he can pretend to be.

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: ?? Don’t worry, he likes your type.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ……..?

[friend] Xiao Tianjing: Really? But just now, Gege said that he only thinks of me as a friend. [wailing]

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: Fuck me, he told you that himself? You guys are progressing so quickly?

Jing Huan slowly typed out a question mark.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Quickly? [sluggish]

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: Yeah. Look around, does it look like he has any in-game friends besides me?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ?

It couldn’t be like that?

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: Really, if you keep it up like this, it won’t be too long before you can capture Xiangxiang.

Jing Huan frowned. Why didn’t he really believe any of that.

But besides Long Road Ahead, there didn’t seem to be anyone else who could hand him any ammunition against Yearning For.

Jing Huan hesitated for a moment, then replied with a cheering emoticon.

Let’s just keep going and see ba.

—

After class the next day, Jing Huan refused Lu Wenhao’s invitation to go play basketball. He walked towards the back gate and planned to go directly back to his rental house.

He was going to video call with his mother today.

Just after sending a message to his mother, he looked up and saw a familiar figure coming out of the boys’ dormitory.

Xiang Huaizhi was dressed in a large black T-shirt, leisurely and casual. It seemed like clothes that he usually wore around the dorms. Even like that, he was still more striking than anyone around him.

He was carrying his shoes by their shoelaces and walking towards the trash can at the right of the door, the sneakers swaying back and forth at his side.

Jing Huan recognized the shoes with a glance—the footprints he left a few days ago were still clearly imprinted on them.

“Ge, you’re going to toss it?”

Xiang Huaizhi’s footsteps paused, and he looked back to see the underclassman behind him.

Jing Huan looked guilty and stared at the shoes he was carrying.

He had already walked all the way up to the trash can, so there was no denying it. Xiang Huaizhi let out an “En ” sound. “They’re worn out, I already wanted to toss them.”

“Without the footprints, I think it looks pretty new…” Who was Jing Huan after all? If his room was completely filled with sneakers, he still wouldn’t be satisfied. He couldn’t talk much about other subjects, but in terms of identifying shoes, he thought he had pretty good taste. The style of these shoes was familiar to him. He couldn’t specifically remember the name, but it definitely wasn’t cheap.

He looked away from the shoes and looked up into Xiang Huaizhi’s eyes. “Ge, I’ll compensate you with a pair ba. What design is it? How big are your feet?”

“No need,” Xiang Huaizhi refused. “Limited edition, can’t buy it anymore.”

Only after he said that, did Jing Huan recall that these shoes were a limited edition of a certain brand that was released last October.

Stepping on a limited edition and turning it into this, just thinking about it made his heart ache, much less what Xiang Huaizhi must be feeling.

Jing Huan wanted to say that he would pay him back, but it was impossible to pay back a limited edition. The market price of the shoes was much more expensive than the original price, and Xiang Ge would certainly not accept his money.

Jing Huan’s stupefied appearance made him look a bit silly. Xiang Huaizhi glanced at him, and his lips couldn’t help but twitch. He raised his hand to throw his sneakers into the trash can, so he could stop being muddled here.

Seeing this, Jing Huan immediately walked forward two steps to stop him.

Afraid that he would rub against the garbage can, Xiang Huaizhi reached down with his hand and touched Jing Huan’s forehead. He closed his fingers slightly and held Jing Huan’s head like a basketball, without exerting any force.

Both of them were stunned.

Jing Huan recovered first. “Ge, don’t toss it. I’ll wash it for you. I’m very good at brushing shoes, I’ll clean it for you.”

Xiang Huaizhi dropped his shoes into the trash can. The trash can was empty, and the shoes clanged inside.

“I said no need,” he said, rubbing Jing Huan’s head casually in this position, then taking back his hand. “I really wanted to change them, it has nothing to do with you. Just came out of class?”

Having someone suddenly rub his head, Jing Huan was stunned. “En…”

Xiang Huaizhi felt that his behavior was quite normal.

What was the problem with an upperclassman rubbing the hair of an underclassman?

“Then go back ba. The weather is bad, it’s going to rain soon.”

“Okay ba,” Jing Huan licked his lips and let out a small laugh. “Ge, you just finished carrying around your shoes, are your hands clean ah.”

“The one that touched you was clean.”

“I don’t believe it,” joked Jing Huan. “You’re taking revenge on me…”

Before he could finish speaking, Xiang Huaizhi raised his left hand, opened up his palm, and extended it right in front of his face.

The light smell of soap rushed into his nose, fresh and pleasant.

Feeling Jing Huan’s breath on the palm of his hand, Xiang Huaizhi took back his hand. “Believe me now?”

Jing Huan was confused. What’s the matter with his Ge today? So handsy today?

He pursed his lips and blinked. “I believe you…Ge. ”

—

Juurensha: XHZ…it’s not super normal to pat people’s heads….

Divi: LMAO… I really have nothing to say about XHZ… That imagery of him blocking Jing Huan with one hand though… gotta draw it!

Fanart of Chichi by sylviangatimo:

Fanart from Camila:

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