Chapter 34 Tasty Bait
Lindy's eyes widened in horror when he released his hand. Her fear only intensified when she realized she was in the mouth of a large creature.
Leon swung his sword forward, pointing it at the shark's eyes.
"Atlas erection length!" He yelled.
When he said those words, he felt the ultimate level of humiliation.
He needed to give his weapon an image to create. However, saying get longer was too subjective, and figuring out the right length was too difficult.
A split second later—
"AaAaAaGhHhHhHhHhH!"
The shark's head exploded the second he said those words, and the group was launched toward the earth as if being sucked into a black hole.
His sword accomplished its duty. It shot forward and became extremely long, skewering the shark in its eye and out the back of its body.
However! He truly underestimated just how large Atlas was! (1)
Boom!
The sword instantly got long enough to pierce the ground below them. Considering they were 16,000 feet in the air, it was quite the feat!
The shocking weight difference sent them all lurching toward the earth as the never-ending weight increase shot them to the ground.
"Nooooorrrmmmalll leennngtthhh!" Leon screamed, unwilling to drop his only weapon during this critical juncture.
Things only got even more ridiculous, however. The sword indeed got "normal length," but that was normal by human standards. Now it was 6"!
It also created an even worse problem.
"LINDY!" Leon screamed as the previously skewered shark fell to the earth without resistance.
Confident of Caitlyn's danger sense skill and dedication to saving him, Leon kicked off her back and skydived toward the earth.
Caitlyn instantly noticed, turned downward, and chased him. Within seconds, she already had him in her free hand.
"Hurry, we need to get her out of that thing's mouth!" Leon yelled with fiery force.
The dominant order filled her with delight, and she instantly flew to the earth with an additional 4Gs of gravity.
They got underneath the shark within three more seconds but didn't know what to do!
Caitlyn had both of her hands busy holding Sarah and Leon. He was sitting on her right hand like a toddler on a food tray.
Naturally, it wasn't the position they needed to save someone stuck inside a falling nom fish!
Luckily, it takes a while to skydive; otherwise, the group would be toast.
"Drop me and then catch me on your back!" Leon ordered.
Caitlyn hesitated.
"NOW!" He yelled.
She complied and dropped him. Skillfully flying, she navigated below them and stuck her butt in the air so Leon could grapple her.
The group fell to the earth like a flying squirrel with a cowboy on the back.
Leon pulled his hand back and thrust it into the middle of the shark's back.
Gulk!
After an exceedingly strange noise hit the airwaves, he found his hand in the shark. After grabbing something hard on the inside, he swung the beast onward on Caitlyn's right side.
It was now moving toward the earth with its belly facing the sky.
Boom!
Leon lurched forward, and Caitlyn flew to the side when a sudden force rocked the shark.
Boom!
"That asshole! I get turning me down but feeding me to—ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Lindy wasn't a weakling! She had just leveled up a dozen times in the last hour, so she had the strength to break free from the shark's mouth.
However, her legendarily bad situational awareness made her hit the top of the shark's skull even after she felt her body rotate 180 degrees.
As a result, its jaws shot open like an airplane hatch, preparing to drop paratroopers, and shot her outside like a twisted gumball machine.
Lindy was now in free fall.
"Tch! That situational awareness will be the death of you!" Leon muttered bitterly, "Caitlyn!"
"On it!" She replied hurriedly.
Within seconds, Caitlyn swooped under the freefalling shark, and Leon grabbed Lindy by the wrist.
"Wait… you saved me… what's going on?" Lindy asked in a surreal haze.
"Yeah, of course I'd save you. Idiot." Leon scoffed.
"Wait! Hey! Did you do that to teach me a lesson not to ask stupid questions or something ridiculous?" Lindy snapped.
"No. I dropped you into that thing's mouth because you were already inside it, and lifting would get you bitten." Leon replied mockingly.
"However, If there were another shark I'd consider doing that now."
Lindy turned bright red in both shame and annoyance.
She was happy he was saving her life but annoyed he was treating her rational discontent as a chore!
When she started pouting, he sighed.
"Once again, as a man of culture, if my power can free them from a cursed affliction, I have a cultural duty to do so." Leon reiterated, "That is the essence of being a harem god."
Lindy's eyes sparkled after hearing his words, but her smile disappeared when Leon sighed, and Caitlyn squealed in delight.
She couldn't figure out why the blonde was smiling. However, Caitlyn being happy about anything that wasn't Leon-related was a bad sign.
It was a misunderstanding, of course.
Unlike Lindy, Caitlyn [followed] Leon's profile in the forbidden library and now received push notifications to her interface.
As a result, Caitlyn could now see the pop-ups he did.
—
Ding! [God's Announcement! God candidate Leon Traxler is the first candidate of this year's game to fully espouse and demonstrate his patron's power and philosophy.
His achievement will be recorded in the annals of history.]
—"Isn't that amazing, babe!?" Caitlyn asked while weaving through the air gracefully.
"Yeah…." Leon replied with a crazed expression.
BOOOOOOM!
A monster exploded when Leon made his sword a Freyja club again and swung it at full power.
"... It's great that everyone's eyes are on me." Leon chuckled with madness in his eyes.
"They're struggling to survive and dealing with trauma. Meanwhile, the gods are cutting our life as if it were a porn parody."
"Isn't that a good thing?" Caitlyn asked playfully.
"How so?" Leon asked in confusion.
"Right now, your videos only show Anya getting punted, Lindy scaring away a dragon with her orgasm, and you massacring monsters and threatening gods over pudding." Caitlyn explained.
"Wait, what!? Video? Someone was recording that!?" Lindy cried.
Leon and Caitlyn treated her like Sarah, ignored her, and continued talking.
"Bzzzzzzzzz!" SPLAT!
"Isn't that everything?" Leon asked in confusion.
The casualness that he exhibited when retracting his club two feet to hit a football-sized wasp like a fastball was staggering. It hypnotized Lindy, and she forgot about feeling left out momentarily.
"No. The gods only showed Lindy smooth talking Rakov while clinging on you, and then him punting Anya." Caitlyn explained.
"Then they showed a highly edited clip of Lindy and I with a comical shot of the drake running away.
Lastly, a video of you flying around with a dildo killing everything on my back.
In other words—"
"They think that I'm a powerhouse playboy who only cares way too much about pudding." Leon said with a grin.
"Ex~actly! They don't realize you're a fraction of our strength." Caitlyn confirmed.
"So the arrogant candidates will waste their time finding us early on, and we can pick them off when they're not threats."
"Ummmm, guys, can you let me know what's going on?" Lindy asked pleadingly.
"The gods showed everyone some clips of our battles, and now people will come to assassinate us in droves." Leon replied casually, "So that means we'll need to level you up asap."
Lindy blushed because her leveling up related to her and Leon's relationship.
"I-I see. I'll do my best." She replied shyly.
"Looking at these, I've noticed that they're pretty fair." Leon said abruptly, confusing Lindy.
"Right? I think that they try recording moments that don't expose a candidate's secrets." Caitlyn commented.
"W-Wait...." Lindy whispered.
"Yeah. It only seems natural they'd do things this way." Leon commented,
"Anya made me feel pretty targetted, so I imagined the worse.
Now I can see that loads of people have been matched up against competing gods.
Well, that can hardly be considered fair either."
"Did he just casually imply sex and then ignore me, signalling it was an order?" Lindy asked in disbelief.
"True, but we survived and there's some crazy looking videos," Caitlyn noted, "Soooooo.... do you want to cuddle and watch em'? There's a share feature."
"Hmmm. Is that a normal thing to do?" Leon asked pensively.
"And now he's flirting and making dates...." Lindy chuckled.
"Setting up research sessions." Leon interjected.
"Research!?" Lindy cried, "Look at Caitlyn's face!"
"Hmmm? What's wrong with it?" He asked in confusion.
"Are you concerned about us losing our virginities before, during, or after watching the videos?
Or potential creepiness that we'll be watching people die gruesome deaths before—"
"Haaaaaaah. I... Look, Leon. That's not norm—"
—
Ding! [Public event: Beast Overclock is now complete! Congratulations, candidate Leon Traxler and his party, on completing the first public event!
Event rewards will be posted once the candidate chooses them.
Cernunnos has called on all beasts to avoid attacking Leon Traxler's team for the next hour to choose and receive rewards.]
—
Leon's eyes flickered with madness when he saw the notification. Lindy felt relief at his sudden loss of interest in the prior conversation.
"Let's pick some bait." He chuckled.
Caitlyn's eyes glittered when she heard his words. Lindy was still bewildered and annoyed that she didn't know what they were talking about.
"Caitlyn, we need to get as far away from here as quickly as possible." Leon requested, "People will doubtlessly seek us out immediately."
Caitlyn nodded and sped up at full speed.
The two screaming women's pleas to slow down were naturally ignored by Caitlyn and Leon, who were still strategizing.
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