Hero? I've Long Stopped Being One

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Volume 1 – Chapter 4: Family Is Family Alright…

"Can you please tell me what the situation here is?" The Wintry Witch completely ignored the passion-filled person standing in front of her.

"Oh, I am the newly registered E-level hero, I and this guy worked together to settle the issue." Saying this, Zhan Chen pointed towards Lin Jie, "Hey? Where'd he go?"

Lin Jie had already disappeared from the scene.

At this moment, the one known as the B-Level Hero, the Wintry Witch, shifted her attention to the Black Hand leader's body.

"The C-level criminal Black Hand, I never would've thought that he would have a super saiyanability. If it's like this, then at the very least his strength could be considered at Level B." She inspected the injuries that he had sustained, "There are some anesthetic bullets in his body, but the worst injury came from a strike to his head. His life isn't in danger, he's just sustained a concussion to the head…"

……

"F*ck, luckily I ran quickly, otherwise that silly idiotic person would've tangled me in a lengthy situation." Lin Jie thought as he headed towards the doorway of his house.

At this moment inside his house—the story of an overbearing CEO of a company and a young girl was currently playing out.

An evil looking man, with a countenance that could only be described as grim, was facing the beautiful young girl, "I will not accept your resignation. I've already said it, you are mine!"

While saying this, the male pressed over towards the young girl in front of him.

The male with the face of an evildoer had an overbearing atmosphere that surrounded him. As long as they were female, they would definitely end up submitting to him.

He was actually quite handsome, was rich as f*ck, and his personal strength was very high, and actually didn't treat females contemptuously. You could say that he was an idol within the cliche romance novels that many schoolgirls so loved to read.

It was a pity that the girl in front of him had grown up with Lin Jie.

"Get lost! I'm not a prostitute, and I'm not prostituting myself to you either!" While saying that, the young girl punched towards the male in front of her, "Do you understand how long it took for me to get the opportunity to apply for the Dr. Qin's research study!?"

The male grabbed the young girls clenched fist, "If you want to enter a research study then I can arrange a hundred of them for you! However, you can only enter a research program under the banner of my Long clan."

"Get lost."

"I've said this before, I will definitely have you for myself."

Just when the male wanted to say a few more words, a thigh-thick fierce electric current came coursing through the palm of the hand he grabbed her with. In the next moment, this handsome guy's whole body fell to the ground and started twitching.

"My newest defensive device actually works!" While she said this, the young girl grabbed the man in front her. Then tossed him over her shoulder: "I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I've resigned! Stop coming here and bothering me all the time."

The direction that the male flew in just so happened to be the door which Lin Jie had just opened. Lin Jie saw an evil-looking handsome man flying towards himself; so he did a quick sidestep, entered the house and closing the door behind him.

"Well I'll be, today's movie is a pure and innocent young lady beating up a overbearing CEO." Lin Jie said to the young girl inside the house, "Anyhow, this words-cannot-describe-how-handsome handsome guy really seems to be your type. So why don't you like him?"

"You still need to ask this? In my heart, there will forever only be one person, [Zero], the type of person who does not care about fame or fortune, especially because of his incomparable might as a hero.

The girl was called Lin Wan, Lin Jie's younger sister. Once when she was young, she was saved by the hero [Zero], and from then had a crush on [Zero]. This was the main reason why he vowed to never reveal his identity as [Zero] to anyone. Knowing that if Lin Wan ever finds out that the one she worshiped was actually her useless brother, she might even beat him up.

"My beloved sister, don't tell me, haven't you thought about how Zero has already disappeared for so long? Plus the fact that you are no longer a kid?" Lin Jie said from the side, "It's best to give up this unrealistic fantasy you have."

"Get lost." Lin Wen said, then eyed Lin Jie, "Oh that's right, today was the Job Fair and you were supposed to go. Did you find a suitable job?"

"This… Oh beloved sister of mine, the truth is, I became lost on the road of life."

"Speak like a human!"

"Fine, I didn't find one."

"Speak the truth, you!"

"Fine, actually I didn't even go."

Hearing him say this, Lin Wen sucked in a deep breath and forcefully suppressed the fiery anger rising in her chest.

"Big Bro, do you know that how long you've been a neet?"

"It's uh…"

"It's been an entire five years, if it continues on like this you'll become a complete termite." Lin Jie said.

"Are you my mom?" Said Lin Jie, "Mom had never said this type of words to me, Dad also didn't say this kind of words to me."

"Do you want to get a beating? Mom and Dad's portraits have hung on the walls for nineteen years already, if they could talk that'd be too strange." After saying that, Lin Wan took out a rolling pin, "I have to get married sooner or later, I can't raise you on my own forever, and when the time comes how will you be able to go on?

Hearing her words, Lin Jie lit up a joint.

"Hey! When a girl is of age, she must be married off, when you were young you said you would live with me forever. I never thought you would discard this life I had so painfully reared up till now. Sigh, what fickle-mindedness."

"I'm still going to severely beat you up." Saying that, the rolling pin in the young girl’s hand suddenly swung towards Lin Jie.

At this moment, a man stuck his body through the door.

"I'm sorry to interrupt." A man appeared in their doorway, it was the very same E-level hero Lin Jie had come across earlier, Zhan Chen.

"What the f*ck, this ghoulish stalking bastard! How'd he get in here?" Lin Jie couldn't help but exclaim.

"Just like my door, I just need a piece of gum solve the problem."^[1] After saying that, Zhan Chen faced Lin Wan who was at his side and said, "Hello there, I am the E-level hero Zhan Chen, my real name is Xiao Zhan, and I am here to invite your brother to become a hero."

"You're saying you want my older brother to become your partner?" Lin Wan asked him incredulously.

"That's right, Becoming a hero will solve all of your brother's unemployment issues. When a hero fights enemies they will receive corresponding reparations. And, if he becomes my helper, my Xiao clan's Corporation will give him a salary as well!"

"I will never become work together with this kind of idiotic superhero!" Lin Jie rejected.

"Good, I accept your offer, in the future, my older brother will follow you." Lin Wan accepted happily.

"Whoa whoa!! I'm just an ordinary citizen! I've got no fighting ability at all!" Lin Jie rushed to speak.

"Eh, weren't you a good-for-nothing juvenile delinquent? And got into scuffles all the time?" Lin Wan recalled.

"…When did I become a good-for-nothing juvenile delinquent?" Lin Jie tried to defend himself.

"I have already investigated your situation, your classmates in the past said that you would frequently skip class, and sometimes appear with wounds on your body. So they were all very afraid for you, you say you weren't a delinquent though? And after your high school graduation you never showed any delinquent-like behavior, except that you started staying at home and achieving absolutely nothing for five years." Xiao Chan recounted.

"Mhmh."

At the side, Lin Wan was nodding nonstop.

"As expected, being a hero was never a good thing, f***!" Lin Jie raged in his heart, "So it seems like the reason why I could never get a friend was because they all thought I was mixed in with the triads."

"Ok fine, but that doesn't mean I'm good at fighting either, even though I am not in any way a delinquent!"

"But didn't you one-shot a C-level criminal today?" Xiao Zhan said, "With my brains and your strength, we can make a pretty strong team."

Saying that Xiao Zhan took out a camera with a video of Lin Jie one-shotting Black Hand.

"In that kind of situation, you still had the presence of mind to record it?"

"Well, I originally wanted to record my own great achievements in battle." Xiao Zhan answered.

"How awesome of you." Lin Jie said.

"You see, people of our Lin family are all good at fighting. I was wondering how my older brother could've stayed in the criminal world for five years, but it seems like you were actually quite awesome. If it's like that, then it's fine." Lin Wan laughingly said.

"But…"

"What 'but'?" Lin Wan slapped her hand on the table and just like that the whole table shattered into pieces, "Being able to become a hero is a wonderful opportunity for someone like you who only knows how to make a mess, understood?"

He'd been scared senseless by Lin Wan, and Lin Jie felt a shiver going down his spine momentarily.

"Good! I will gladly accept this reformation." Lin Jie loudly said.

"That's… about right." Saying that, Lin Wan looked to the side at Xiao Zhan, "Ah, that's right."

"What… what's up?" Xiao Zhan's voice was slightly trembling.

"Stay awhile and eat with us, alright?"

"O… ok."

Looking at Lin Wan who had just gone to the kitchen, Xiao Zhan couldn't help but say to Lin Jie, "Why does your sister seem so violent—"

"She's been trained in karate, taekwondo, aikido, judo, Muay Thai, Acroyogastics^[2], Jeet Kun Do, Taichi, and Xinyi. Except for Taichi and Xinyi, she trained all the others to a grandmaster's level." Lin Jie said to Xiao Zhan.

"In the past, big bro was a delinquent, and would often go out and get into fights. If I didn't learn some self-defense, and those who had enmity with big bro ever came knocking, then what could I ever do?" Lin Wan's voice came from inside the kitchen.

"Hey! Time is relentless and unforgiving."

Lin Jie remembered the time when Lin Wan was still small, when she was still a 'moe moe' cute little lolita pulling on his hand as she used a sweet voice to say, "My most loved bro, I want to stay with you forever!"

But now Lin Wen uses an expression as if she had seen trash to say, "Big bro, if you don't go find a job see how I'll beat you."

"The good little sis has unexpectedly raised me up like a house husband." Lin Jie lamented, "Where did I go wrong in teaching her?"

……

"That's right, today at your apartment gate, I saw Long Shao." Xiao Zhan interrupted Lin Jie's train of thought.

"Long Shao? Is he strong?"

"He has the title of Uncrowned King of H-city., it doesn't matter if it is the people of the righteous or the dark worlds, they all have to look at his expression before doing anything. When he goes out, he only brings bodyguards of the S-level. Every person who has offended him doesn't have a good ending." Xiao Zhan said.

"That incredible?" While Lin Jie was talking he also recalled when the guy his sister threw out of the room also seemed to have the surname Long.

"Obviously he's incredible. If he wants to become a criminal, the whole H-city will fall within a week. However I heard that recently because of a goal he was chasing after, he completely lost all face." Xiao Zhan said.

"Rich, incredibly handsome, has authority and power, and shameless? Then isn't he perfect!" Lin Jie said, astonished. At the same time, he also prayed in his heart, "By all means, please don't be the one my sister threw out!"

"That's right, your sister has trained before, but what's with your strength? The morning star you took out had at least a 150 strength requirement, but you actually held it with just one hand! Could you tell me what you trained in?" Xiao Zhan asked.

"You sure you want to know?"

"I'm sure."

"Alright, fine. Then I'll tell you." Lin Jie said, "At the very beginning I was actually looking for hot-blooded fights, like souls colliding, so I went out continuously to fight."

"And then?"

"I became bald, and became strong too!." Lin Jie said, "And then I found out that being unparalleled is lonely."

"……" Xiao Zhan was taciturn for a few seconds, and then shouted out, "Bald your sis!" Is your hair not growing just fine on top of your head? Believe me when I say I'll shave you bald! Don't try to trick me with One-Punch M(X)n's synopsis! Did you think I was an idiot, huh?"

"Tch, you're obviously a silly fool, but you weren't tricked."

"You're the fool! Your whole family are fools!!"

"You want to say that again? In front of my sis?"

Footnotes:

[1]Basically saying he only needs a piece of gum to unlock the door. As in, 'this door is simply too easy to picklock.'

[2]Using yoga to do battle

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