Chapter 239 - AN EXPRESSION OF ANGER
It had been a little over three months since Hu Lei had left Supreme City, and Hu Lei was anxious to return. It was a novel thing for her to feel the need to go back home. For countless years, she had been adrift, not knowing where she would be in the next moment.
"You know that you are welcome to stay here for as long as you want." Grandpa Huo looked at Hu Lei with expectation as they were having dinner.
During the time Hu Lei had been with him, he had come to know her, and he was even fonder of her. He felt that he would be lonely again without her presence.
"Grandpa, you know that I can't. I have to return home." She smiled as she thought about Zhong Feng.
"Dad, she is a married woman. She has her life." Huo Mei chimed in.
Over the last months, her relationship with her father had improved. Though this could be attributed to spending more time in the same house, there was an additional factor. As she treated Hu Lei, she had learnt a lot about Hu Ming.
While she still felt that there might have been a different approach for dealing with her brother, she now knew that he was a deeply troubled man. There had been no good way of dealing with him when he had become a crazy scientist.
"Are you set on that young fox?" The grandpa became more dissatisfied. "I can have my old comrades introduce you to better candidates."
He did not want to think that his beloved granddaughter was going to be married to his old rival's family. How could that stinking old man gain a good thing just like that?
Hu Lei smiled. "I would never consider anyone but Ah-Feng. To me, there is no one better."
Seeing the satisfied and blissful look on her face, the old grandpa could do nothing.
"What time are you leaving tomorrow? Perhaps we can leave together." Dr Huo asked.
Hu Lei shook her head. "You should stay with grandpa for a while. Dr Shui will take me back."
She knew about Elder Huo's intention to speak to Dr Huo about the possibility of taking over as the head of the Huo Clan. He had said that there were other candidates, but he felt like she was the most accomplished and had the best character to continue the legacy. Hu Lei agreed and wanted to give them a chance to talk about it without her.
"That stinking boy has done nothing but play around at the research institute since he came." Dr Huo complained but there was fondness in her eyes.
"It is good that he had something to do." Hu Lei laughed.
The three of them continued talking until it was late before they dispersed to their own business. Hu Lei did not have much to pack up for her journey back. However, she wanted to send the completed draft of her new novel to Bo Qian.
She had been working on completing it during the course of her treatment, and she had managed to complete it. Dr Huo had encouraged her to keep writing it as part of her integration therapy after she learned about her blackouts.
At first, it had not seemed like it helped, but then, when she had channelled more feelings about her relationship with her father, she had felt herself becoming one with Jane. The anger and hatred that she had always been unable to express as Hu Lei because she felt grateful to her father for taking care of her were reconciled.
She remembered that moment of breakthrough. It had been after an intense hypnosis session, and she had felt inspired. She had been writing the main confrontation between the young cyborg and her father who had turned her into something no longer human.
Her initial goal had been to express the young girl's heartbreak and hurt as she asked her father why he had done what he had done. And Hu Lei had intended to show that her father loved her and just wanted her to be the best.
Perhaps, it was because this is what she had always wanted to hear from her own father.
However, before she could put her thoughts into words, she had felt her head throb with overwhelming dull pain, and for the first time, she had felt her transitioning into her dark side, Jane. If she could describe it, it felt something a powerful wave pushing through a dam.
It was not like the other times when she had been sleeping and too vulnerable to feel the will of Jane in her. This time, it had not felt like a dream or hallucination. It was Jane pushing Hu Lei aside and exerting her will because she wanted to be heard.
For a moment, Hu Lei had thought about fighting back and standing at the forefront again, but she had remembered what Dr Huo had said. If her dark side appeared, she must remember that it was still her. She was not the enemy.
After that, Jane had begun typing, her fingers brushing over the keyboard like the wind. And there was nothing about love and the father wanting the best for his cyborg daughter in her words. It was instead an expression of anger from the daughter.
How could a father have the heart to harm his child like this? How could he look at her and know that he had made her into a monster? How could he choose to further his agenda without caring about her feelings? How could he crush her will to be her woman?
She had trusted him, and he had abused that trust. That was not a father's love. It was doing what was best for the child. It was simply selfishness. That was a self-serving father.
In her mindscape, Hu Lei and Jane stood facing one another. Hu Lei was in her white dress with her clear bright eyes and her gentle face framed by her long black hair flowing down her shoulders in soft waves. And Jane, her hair was held in a severe bun and her body covered in a black bodysuit. Her eyes had a black sclera, but there was no evil in them, just heartbreak and pain.
Hu Lei stepped forward and lifted her hand and touched Jane's face.
"I am sorry." She spoke with heartfelt depth.
She had always believed in her ability to compartmentalise. When she needed to be a killer, a thief or a torturer, she would tie up her hair, dress in black and forget about Hu Lei. And when she was done and wanted to attend philanthropic meetings or parties with her father, she would revert into lovable Hu Lei.
She had kept those two identities separate, and it had worked for her, allowed to have a semblance of normalcy. But in doing so, she had refused to take responsibility for everything she had done. Yes, she knew that she was Jane and Jane was her.
But she had never taken emotional responsibility for her actions. She had left only a small part of her to deal with the guilt, fear, pain and remorse. She had chosen to make Jane her monster and only call her to do what she could not, just like her.
A black tear fell down Jane's face. She wanted to tell her that it was their father's fault. He was a good-for-nothing who had used them as an assassin to achieve his own goals, not caring if they were harmed. Everything he had done for her was to ensure that she could continue supporting him. And he had never loved them.
But she did not say anything.
Hu Ming was dead. None of them knew his true thoughts. Her bright side believed that he had loved her and hoped for the best future for her. Her dark side saw him as a user who did not care about his daughter in his efforts to accomplish his own goals.
Instead, Jane stepped forward and placed her forehead against Hu Lei. With closed eyes, the two stood as a gentle wind whirled and swept over the mindscape. When the wind settled and calm was restored, only one girl remained, dressed in black and white, with one eye with a dark sclera.
Hu Lei broke free from the memory, picked her laptop and walked to the seat by the window to draft an email to Bo Qian and send her completed manuscript. When she was about to sit down, she paused, and her yellow eyes became sharper.
There was a subtle scent in the air.
Sakura…
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