His Devious Harbinger: How To Tame A Wicked God?

Chapter 201: Don't look for me anymore

She's not evil.

That's what she wants to believe. However

Ari glances at her hand. She has ruined that woman, hasn't she?

Though she wanted to help that woman, it might not be helpful. There 

Gods. Demons. Everything else. And then, there is her. 

Goddess of the forsaken ones. An abyss. 

She's Ari Takayama. That's what she wants to believe. Ari smiles at Cina. "Are you afraid of me, Cina?"

"No, Mother." He shakes his head and returns her smile. "Why are you standing outside? This is your house."

Not anymore. She doesn't tell him that. Takayama Ari scrutinizes his face. This god is the reason why Adira had to go to Qeshaya again. Was that the beginning? Whom does she want right now? 

Gods are nothing to slaves to their own desires. It's a cage. Why would she ever hate Chaos? That goddess is bound by her own needs. But there are things that Mayhem should have never touched. Her daughter Misaki should have been with her sister and father. 

"I don't feel good, Cina." Ari whispers, "Can you help me?"

"What happened to you?" Cina takes a step toward Ari. At the same time, Amami holds Cina's arm and pulls him back. 

"Don't go to her!" Amami yells. "Can't you sense it? It doesn't matter what she used to be. She's not the same person. I can hear the cries of the forsaken ones. She brought something evil with her. Don't go, please."

Cina knows what she means. Renasir Ari has something evil inside her. But he doesn't believe that it makes her evil. Furthermore, he needs to keep her here until others arrive. Cina pats Amami's hand on his arm reassuringly and smiles. "Gods can't die, Amami."

"But" Amami begins to say. 

He shakes his head at her and removes her hand. "Stay inside."

"Mother." Cina walks toward Ari, crossing the threshold. He knows that he won't die. Renasir Ari is not evil either. With a light smile on his lips, he gives his hand to her. "Come inside the house. The Dark God will be here soon."

"Will he now?" The corner of her lips curls up into a sneer. "When I called him, he didn't come to me."

Called the Dark God? Cina widens his eyes. "When was it, Mother?"

"Too long." Ari cocks her head slightly, watching him with a lazy gaze. "You also passed over the remnants of my flesh and soul. I even felt it when Ai crossed the bridge with my daughter. That's why I came back here."

Cina's fingers tighten around the key. Can they hear what she's saying? They need to come here quickly. Renasir Ari isn't the same. "We didn't feel you"

"I was already destroyed by that time." Ari sighs. "It hurt more than the time I erased by myself along with the corruption in the dark ehr."

The forsaken ones kept tearing her flesh until nothing remained. They gnawed on her bones until the last of it was gone. They fed on her soul until she became them. And then, they became her because she had the greater will. 

"Mother, please come inside with me." He reaches for her hand hesitantly. There's a repelling aura around her. A part of his mind tells him to stay away from her. But he forces himself to get closer to her. "You are still Renasir Ari."

"It's annoying to hear you call me that." Ari lowers her brows, frowning slightly. "Cina, you are not my son. The names of my children are Misaki Takayama, Misumi Takayama, and Ai Takayama."

He has always wanted her love but she's always been reluctant. Even in his earliest memories of her, she had been extremely awkward to the idea of him being her son. It's not like he doesn't understand it. His previous self had attacked her and wanted to hurt Ai. He had done a fair share of wrong deeds. 

"I want to apologize for the things that I did before I lost my memories," He says to her steadily. "I won't call you Mother if you hate it, Renasir Ari. However, you are someone I deeply respect and care for. Please give me a chance to be someone valuable to you."

Ari lets out a laugh, raising her chin. Her eyes shine. "When Adira lost his memories, he treated me like a slut. When you lost memories, you started treating me like a mother."

"The Dark God remembers," Cina tells her quickly. He gives her the key. "We didn't know that you were in the river. We looked for you in every other place. Mo -- Renasir Ari, please forgive us for not being able to find you."

Ari looks at the key in his hand. "So, he remembers now."

[Mother.] Ai's voice comes out of the key. [Please forgive me for not being able to protect Misaki. If I had any clue that you were in the river, I would have gone inside there.]

"I know," She murmurs. "You tried your best. You saved Misaki from those lowly beasts. You certainly did a better job than her father."

[Ari] The voice is dark and husky. It hasn't changed in the years. [I am almost there. We will find Misaki together.]

"You couldn't find her in ten years." Ari picks up the key from Cina's palm. "Why did you look for me? Was my life more important than Misaki's?"

[Yes.] The Dark God's clear voice rings out. [You are the most important to me.]

"You didn't think the same around ten years ago." Ari smiles coldly. "Why should I always forgive you, Adira? You forgot me. Then, you didn't believe me when I said that I carried your children. You wanted to hurt Ai. When you found Misumi, you didn't try to look deeper. Ai and I were gone. You didn't care."

[Ari, I can explain I know that I did wrong. I truly didn't remember anything.]

"You have never cared about me." Her voice is dolorous as it grows faint. "Even before you had lost your memories, you have always done what you wanted to do. Impregnating me when you knew that I was going to do the true-naming Adira, you wanted to find an excuse to not let me shape a true name for Ai."

[Because true naming is dangerous, Ari!] The Dark God yells. [I was worried that something would happen to you and it did happen. I heard the truth from Rilyah. You came to this world that day. You got hurt after coming here. You should have never left Iravan whether I remembered or not.]

"Ah." She snorts. "So, you did impregnate me because you didn't want me to shape Ai's true name." 

[Ari How could that be the only reason? You like children. You kept saying that you didn't want to marry me]

"But you never understood why." Ari takes a deep breath. "If you feel that Misaki is your child, look for her. At least, your priority was Misaki and Misumi before you regained your memories. Don't look for me anymore. You and I can never be together."

[Where are you going?] The Dark God asks her with a distressed voice. [Don't go anywhere.]

Ari's fingers curl around the key. The ivory key shatters, turning into dust. 

"Are you going somewhere?" Cina asks her slowly. 

"Yes." Ari glances at the rain goddess. The plump woman is pale and sweaty. She lets out a laugh and questions Cina, "Do you love her?"

"Yes," Cina answers her as he peers at the branches of a tree slowly descending toward Ari. He needs to keep Renasir Ari here. She's not herself. That's why she's saying these things. It will be fine after she meets the dark god. 

"No, don't!" Amami screams as she hurries toward Cina and Ari. All of sudden, she feels a punch in her gut. Stumbling on her feet, Amami grabs the gate. When she looks up, she finds Ari watching her with cold white eyes. 

"What are you?" Amami gasps. She screams when she feels something tearing her inside. Amami coughs up blood as she drops on her knees. Gods can't die. She's sure that she won't die either. But this crushing pain What is happening to her?

"Re-Renasir," Cina quavers. Ari's hand is on his cheek. His whole body is paralyzed. He can't move from the spot. The tree behind Ari has shattered into pieces. "Please forgive me."

"You keep apologizing to me." Ari clicks her tongue. "Why should I accept apologies from someone who doesn't remember a thing? Cina, what if I tell you that you have never been forgiving? I guess telling won't do."

Cina feels a searing pain in his head. Blood oozes out of his eyes and ears. Shadowy red claws envelop his body, piercing him. He raises his head to look at her. His eyesight is blurred by the blood. 

He croaks, "Renasir."

"I wonder if you will still love this woman after you remember." 

She fists her hand and the red shadows return to her body. Cina falls on the concrete. 

"If you apologize to me after you remember, I might consider forgiving you." 

After hearing those words, Cina's mind goes black. 

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