How a Realist Hero Rebuilt The Kingdom

Book 3: Chapter 1.1

Intermission 1: Lord Ishizuka

Okay... on to the next document, I said.

Whether I was in the royal capital, Parnam, or the princely capital, Van, my work as king was always the same. I stayed in the governmental affairs office, poring over the documents Hakuya had prepared for me and signing off on them. Especially now, with the occupation of Van having begun so recently, my workload had increased.

Letting several days worth of work accumulate so that I could produce that music program hadnt helped. Even as I worked day and night, using my Living Poltergeists to their fullest, the number of stacks of paper in front of me refused to decrease. In the end, I had ended up installing a bed in the governmental affairs office of Van, too, so that I could get back to work as soon as I woke up.

So, today, like every day, I had sat myself down at the desk the moment I got out of bed, and I was staring down a pile of papers as the morning sunlight streamed into the office.

Isnt it about time you got your own room? Liscia asked from her position beside me, sounding a little exasperated. She had been helping me. This castle has a lot of rooms.

Im buried in work from dawn to dusk, I said. Theres not much point in having a room if I only go back there to sleep. Honestly... just when things had finally settled down in the kingdom, I ended up creating more work for myself by occupying Van. Its like, to hell with the Labor Standards Act.

What kind of nonsense are you even talking about? Liscia asked. Come on, heres the next document.

Yeah... Wait, this again?

When I looked over the document she passed me, I slumped my shoulders.

It said, The people of Van want to hold an outdoor music concert in the plaza. Is it okay for us to permit that? I had already processed several similar petitions just today.

They were for concerts, plays, art exhibitions, calligraphy exhibitions, and circuses, among other things. It seemed that, after seeing that broadcast, the people of Van had awakened to the idea of expressing themselves through the arts. Yes, it was truly...

A renaissaaaance, I said, stretching out the word.

...Whats up? That came out of nowhere, Liscia said.

...Nothing.

Liscia looked at me kind of funny.

Yeah, if I was going to make her laugh by saying the word funny, I was probably going to have to introduce it to the local language first, I thought.

While the original Renaissance had come as a revival of Greek and Roman humanism as the influence of the Christian church had declined, this one would be a cultural revival that came from people celebrating the arts after being freed from militarism.

But, still... I know fall is the season for art, but this awakening is way too sudden, I commented.

To be honest, Id have preferred not being swamped with an endless stream of requests for art and culture events. This city was technically under occupation, after all. If the events drew large crowds, it was possible that conspirators could gather there or they could be targeted by terrorists. I wished theyd put themselves in my shoes, as the guy who had to check thoroughly to make sure that wasnt happening.

When she saw me holding my head in my hands, Liscia gave a wry smile. You cant blame them, really. It just means your broadcast had that much impact, right? It seems like this sort of stuff has been being suppressed pretty heavily up until now.

...Ill bet, I said. I doubt a militarist state would let them express themselves.

Burning books for being slightly critical of the ruling regime, jailing people for singing songs that called for peace, publicly executing the head of a theater troupe for putting on a play that satirized the government... I thought. Theyd probably have done all of that without a second thought. This excitement Im seeing is probably the recoil from that.

Though, thanks to that, my workload increases, I said glumly.

No grumbling, said Liscia. Its better than them opposing us.

Well, yes, but... Maybe Ill set up a bureau to handle events, I said, inspiration striking. If I put Margarita in charge of it, I could have her handle everything to do with entertainment.

Thats fine with me, but... you do the paperwork for it.

Oof...

It looked like, struggle as I might, my workload wasnt going to decrease.

Well, Im the king, so I guess theres no helping that, huh.

I worked into the afternoon, and just as I was feeling hungry and was saying to Liscia that we should break for lunch, the Minister for the Food Crisis, Poncho Ishizuka Panacotta, entered the room.

Poncho walked over to stand before me, his round belly shaking as he did, then gave a tense salute. U-Um, Your Majesty, I was hoping I could have a moment of your time, yes.

He was clearly anxious. He might not have looked impressive at the moment, but Poncho here had been instrumental in solving the food crisis, and he was a man I had hand-picked to work at my side, so he was a respected figure in the country.

Thats why I wish hed get used to standing in front of me already... I thought.

Is something the matter? I asked.

Y-Yes! There is something I wanted to show you, sire, yes, Poncho said, pulling something out of the bag he was carrying and placing it on the office desk.

You wanted to show us... a flower? Liscia, who was watching us, said in confusion.

Poncho had pulled out a single flower. It looked similar to a lily. However, it had a toxic-looking combination of pink, yellow, and brown petals.

If this were a mushroom, thatd be a clear warning not to eat it, I thought.

What is it? I asked.

Y-Yes! This is a flower called a beguiling lily, yes.

Oh, okay, I know what a lily is, I said. But whats so beguiling about it?

This flowers pollen has a powerful hallucinogenic effect, he explained. It induces anyone who inhales it into a state similar to sleepwalking. It primarily grows in the mountains. Long ago, there was an incident where an army division inhaled it while marching. They fell off a cliff fleeing from enemies that didnt even exist and were wiped out as a result.

Scary! I exclaimed. Is it like a non-controlled drug, or something like that? Wait, dont bring that stuff in here!

I-Its fine, said Poncho. Ive already removed the pollen, yes.

...Really? Well, as long as youre sure its safe, I said.

Yes, he agreed. Besides, the pollen from one or two wont have any effect. If you try to approach a field where hundreds of them are growing, though, even covering your nose and mouth with a cloth wont help... Yes.

Well, yeah, short of wearing an air filtration mask, I doubt you can block out all of the pollen, I thought. Ive never had to deal with it myself, but the people with pollen allergies look like they have a hard time even with a mask on.

So, you wanted to show me this flower? I prompted.

No, the flower is merely a something of a bonus, sire. What I wanted you to see was this. With those words, Poncho pulled out a small roundish object. This one was... a vegetable, perhaps? It was white, round, and lumpy, like scallion bulbs or cloves of garlic densely clumped together into something like a pine cone.

What is it? I asked.

Th-This is a beguiling lily rootstalk, yes.

The rootstalk... I murmured. Oh, lily root, huh!

Eek! ...What was that for, so suddenly? My sudden outburst had surprised Liscia.

Id been excited by the sudden and unexpected appearance of a luxury ingredient.

Hmm, so this is lily root, I thought. Ive seen a single piece as an ingredient in a bowl of chawanmushi before, but this is my first time seeing a whole bulb. Its supposed to taste like potato, if I remember correctly.

...Well then, Poncho Ishizuka Paramedic, I began.

I-Its Panacotta, yes.

Can you eat it? I asked.

Yes, of course you can. This root has no hallucinogenic effect, yes.

And, how does it taste? I asked.

If you steam them, theyre soft, flaky, and delicious. I might add, these beguiling lilies grow all over the mountains of Amidonia.

Thats good to hear, I thought. Lily root is rich in carbohydrates. It can be used as a staple food, like potatoes. If we could harvest these, it might lead to a breakthrough in solving the principalitys food crisis.

But with the pollen, you cant go anywhere near where they grow, right? I asked.

Yes, he agreed. And if they arent harvested while theyre releasing pollen, toxicity builds up in their rootstalks. Thats why they arent customarily eaten in Amidonia, yes.

Well, thats no good, then, I said. Even if theyre edible, if you cant harvest them, then... Wait, huh? Then howd you get this one here?

When I asked that, Poncho pulled out a map and pointed to an area in the northeast of the Gran Chaos Empire.

There is a people in the mountains of the Gran Chaos Empire who harvest the beguiling lily and use it as their staple food. Theyve developed a peculiar method of harvesting them, yes.

What is that method? I asked.

They use the shoujou for it, you see, yes.

The shoujou... Theyre a type of orangutan, right? I wondered aloud, to which Poncho nodded.

Among the varieties of orangutan that live in the mountains, one species has a resistance to the effects of beguiling lily pollen. It seems these orangutans regularly dig up the rootstalks and eat them. The mountain people of the Empire have trained these orangutans to do the harvesting for them.

I see, so like the cormorants used in cormorant fishing, huh, I thought. Taming them would normally be the hard part, but... we have an expert in that field in our country.

Are those orangutans here in Amidonia, too? I asked.

Yes, he said. It seems they live in the mountains near Van, too. I already have Tomoe negotiating with them for us. The shoujou are famous for their love of alcohol, so I suspect theyll happily work for us if we give them a barrel once in a while in lieu of money, yes.

...Its good to see that you work so quickly, I said.

Not only do we have the Rhinosaurus Preserve, now were making the Van Ape Army, too, huh, I thought. At this rate, I could turn Elfrieden into a literal animal kingdom. Ha ha ha...

...Hey, Liscia, I said.

What? she asked.

If you think this policy is too crazy, youre welcome to stop it, okay?

...Dont look to me to make that decision.

Liscia turned away, refusing to have anything to do with this.

One week (eight days) later, the food distributed in Van included a dumpling made with the root of the beguiling lily (lily root for short).

We are distributing lily root dumplings here, yes, said Poncho.

Poncho, the Minister for the Food Crisis himself, stood at the distribution site, personally handing out lily root dumpling soup to the people of Van. The food crisis had affected Amidonia deeply, so the people of Van lined up with pots in hand to take their soup ration home with them. In addition to the soup being distributed, there was also some on hand for tasting, and he was serving it to the people who had lined up for it.

It really warms you up, said one woman. This is better than I expected.

The soup itself has a nice flavor to it, another agreed. I think it was called miso, right?

These dumplings, I bet theyd taste good fried, too, huh? a third commented. Id love to try cooking them myself.

As housewives of Van were talking, Poncho called out to them. W-We have lily root dumplings that you can take home here, too. I would very much like for you to bring them back with you and let your family try them, yes.

When Poncho held up a bag filled with lily root dumplings, a gleam flashed through housewives eyes. Then, before he knew it, Poncho was surrounded by the ladies.

My, how considerate, said one. Its a big help, young man.

You, youre one of that kings personal retainers, right? another asked. Do you already have someone special to you?

Ah. No, I havent even considered marriage... The moment Poncho said that, clearly flustered, there was a gleam in the housewives eyes.

Why, splendid! My daughter is a sweet girl, you know, said one woman. Maybe youd like to take her off my hands?

Hey, no fair! another protested. If you take a wife, it should be my daughter! She has good birthing hips, like me, so I can promise shell give you a healthy baby!

If she went to live with a portly fellow like yourself, I wouldnt have to worry about her going hungry, another added.

...And, before he knew it, they were already trying to set Poncho up with a wife.

When they heard all the noise, some of the young ladies even volunteered themselves for the position.

Hes one of the kings favorites, isnt he? a young woman asked. Sounds like a keeper to me.

Its a chance to marry into money, another agreed. Yes, yes! Sign me up for that.

The next thing he knew, Poncho was being swarmed by women young and old alike. Souma had just recently shown them that it was okay to express themselves, so the women were very forthright with their emotions. For Poncho, who was not used to this sort of attention, he had no idea what to do and was standing there nervously, when...

What are you doing, Sir Poncho?

...someone called out to him with a voice that wasnt loud, but which carried well.

When the many women looked towards the voice, they saw a beautiful woman in a maid outfit with a ladle in her hand. Seeing the maids stunning beauty, the women gulped despite themselves.

Then, of all things, that maid walked over to Poncho, wrapping herself around his thick arm. Ive come here at His Majestys request to assist you with your work because youre so shy, you know? Do you mean to slack off while Im working for you?

The moment after she said that, Serina cast a glance at the crowd of women. Serina wasnt glaring at them, precisely, but they felt intimidated by her beautiful face.

Whats a beauty like her doing next to a tubby guy like him?! they thought.

They were even arm-in-arm. Could it be they were in a scandalous relationship?

Paying no mind to the womens feelings, Serina shot Poncho a meaningful glance. Do be sure that you make this up to me later. I wont be satisfied with doing it just once tonight.

Whaa?! The ladies gasped at Serinas suggestive words.

By the way, the thing that Serina wasnt going to be satisfied only doing once that night was taste-testing Ponchos experimental dishes. Serina had become enraptured with the dishes Poncho made based on the B-grade cuisine from the world Souma came from. In other words, she was saying she wouldnt be satisfied taste-testing only one dish.

Poncho correctly understood what she meant, and he said, Y-Yes! I will get right back to work, yes! and returned to his job distributing food.

Serina gave an indifferent shrug, then turned and gave the women an elegant bow before following after Poncho.

The women could only watch as the two of them left, feeling like they had been tricked somehow.

...Well, while there were some troubles, the lily root dumplings were delicious both fried and boiled, which did a lot to calm and soothe the hearts of the occupied people.

The culture of eating lily roots spread to Van, and Poncho Ishizuka Panacotta, who had distributed the dumplings to them personally, became respected almost in a godlike way by the housewives of Van, who came to call him Lord Ishizuka.

Perhaps, someday, he would have shrines built to worship him, like the Billiken.

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