How To Survive as a Villain

Chapter 200: Let’s Take A Bath Together.

President Xiao began to think about life again.

‘Me! Who once aspired to be handsome and rich! Wicked, charming and wild! A doting lover! The! Tyrannical! President!’

‘Me! Who once memorized the 300 quotations of the Tyrannical President!’

‘Me! Who has once read all kinds of dog blood routines!’

‘But now, I suddenly felt!’

‘That is better to be tied to bed by Yan HeQing, in all honesty???’

‘Let go of me! You’re holding down the invisible wings of this Tyrannical President!’

‘But, ah, it’s really fucking hard to be a Tyrannical President.’

Xiao YuAn was still lamenting in his mind, when Huang Yue calmly walked in front of him. The guards forced Xiao YuAn’s head up with a scabbard, forcing him to look at Huang Yue.

Huang Yue looked down at him, and asked: “Xiao Jun Wang, do you know what crime you had committed?”

Xiao YuAn smiled: “I know.”

Huang Yue was stunned, but his expression immediately returned to normal. Then he said meaningfully: “Then, Xiao Jun Wang, what crime did you commit?”

Xiao YuAn smiled: “This fox has charmed the Male Lead. Ah, I can’t help it. Who let me be so good-looking? Even His Majesty is fascinated by me.”

Huang Yue: “…..”

Xiao YuAn clearly saw Huang Yue’s mouth and eyebrows twitching, he couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

Huang Yue: “Xiao Jun Wang is quite optimistic, he even has the courage to joke at this time. No, should I use different words and say that you’re actually very pitiful? Since you’re still trying to win His Majesty’s favor?”

After Huang Yue said this, he threw a dozen letters in front of Xiao YuAn: “Xiao Jun Wang, do these look familiar to you?”

Xiao YuAn said with all honesty: “They don’t look familiar.”

“Xiao Jun Wang, I have a witness. Don’t try to deny it.” Huang Yue thought that he was just a dead duck with a hard mouth¹, so he simply sneered at him.

Xiao YuAn showed an innocent expression and said: “I really haven’t seen them before.”

“Alright, then I’ll help Xiao Jun Wang remember.”

It turned out that when Xiao Wangye was depressed in the Southern Yan Kingdom, he thought of assassinating Yan HeQing! Even if the idea of assassinating the Male Lead was Xiao Wangye’s idea, he inadvertently left the handle in Huang Yue’s hands!

That’s why Xiao Jun Wang had befriended Xue Yan before, but then he had to deal with Huang Yue. It can be said that he was trying to survive through two sides. What a tragedy, no wonder he chose to commit suicide by taking poison in the end.

The evidence in Huang Yue’s hand was conclusive, and Xiao YuAn couldn’t defend himself. Because of this, he was thrown into prison without delay.

Outside the prison, Huang Yue’s confidant whispered in his ear: “General Huang, I saw Chen Ge’s subordinate in the crowd before. He left in a hurry after watching for a while, I think he should have sent Chen Ge a message.”

Huang Yue disagreed: “Even if Chen Ge knows, what can he do? He doesn’t have the ability to erase the fact that Xiao Jun Wang intended to assassinate the Emperor.”

As soon as he said that, there were hurried footsteps coming their way.

When Huang Yue and his subordinates looked back, they were so shocked that they hurriedly knelt down, saluted with their fists and shouted: “Your Majesty!!!”

Yan HeQing didn’t even give them a glance. His face was as cold as ice as he hurriedly entered the prison. Huang Yue went forward to kneel down in front of Yan HeQing, blocking his way: “Your Majesty, please listen to this Minister’s words.”

Then Huang Yue began to recount Xiao YuAn’s crimes in detail. He knew that Yan HeQing would ask questions, so he prepared a speech in advance. What he said was reasonable and convincing. However, he was unexpectedly interrupted by Yan HeQing right in the middle of his speech.

Yan HeQing’s tone was extremely cold, as if he was suppressing a monstrous anger. There was an abyss of ice in the depth of his eyes as he said: “Are you done talking?”

Huang Yue was caught off guard by the interruption and froze: “This Minister…. Minister… has finished his report to His Majesty…..”

Yan HeQing didn’t answer again, directly bypassing him and entering the prison.

Huang Yue was shocked.

‘How could this happen?!’

‘Xiao Jun Wang has been in the Southern Yan Kingdom for a year, and Yan HeQing has never looked at him. It’s unlikely that Yan HeQing came here to save him!’

‘Could it be possible that after His Majesty heard the evidence of Xiao Jun Wang’s assassinaton attempt, he became extremely furious, and is ready to deal with Xiao Jun Wang by himself?’

Huang Yue looked at Yan HeQing’s back as he walked into the prison, a trace of cunning and delight flashed across his eyes.

…

Inside the prison, Xiao YuAn was chatting with the Jailer. He sat in front of the cell door, raised one leg and leisurely asked the Jailer at the door: “Hey, xiao-xiongdi², come on and chat with me.”

At first, the Jailer was still holding his stance as he reprimanded Xiao YuAn with a stern face: “This Heavenly Prison³ is very important, don’t speak out loud!”

Xiao YuAn shrugged his shoulders and stretched his hands: “I wasn’t speaking out loud, I was talking properly. Right, xiongdi, do you have a girlfriend?”

Jailer: “….. What is a ‘girlfriend’⁴?!”

Xiao YuAn laughed: “It’s a ‘wife’, do you have a wife?”

The Jailer replied: “Oh, um, no!”

Xiao YuAn asked again: “Do you have a boyfriend then?”

The Jailer asked, puzzled: “….. What is a ‘boyfriend’?!”

Xiao YuAn replied with a smile: “A ‘husband’, ‘husband’⁵, do you understand?”

The Jailer: “……”

“Xiao-xiongdi, don’t be silent, ah! Do you know the words ‘tacit agreement⁶’? ‘Tacit agreement’ means….”

The Jailer interrupted him with an impatient tone of voice: “I don’t!!”

Xiao YuAn: “Ah! That’s terrible! I do!”

The Jailer: “….. When will the other guard come to replace me?!”

Xiao YuAn was so happy that he couldn’t help but burst into laughter. After he finished laughing out loud, he began to think about the current affairs as he crossed his hands behind his head and leaned against the cell’s door.

In the original book, the evidence of Huang Yue’s plot for rebellion was exposed by Xiao PingYang to help Yan HeQing. Yan HeQing once wanted to impeach Huang Yue directly, regardless of what people may say about him, but he was finally persuaded to calm down by Xiao PingYang.

Later, Xiao PingYang and Yan HeQing acted in a wicked plan. Xiao PingYang pretended to take refuge with Huang Yue, helping him to usurp the throne on the surface, while secretly joining hands with Yan HeQing. Until finally, they were able to seize Huang Yue’s fox tail.

Xiao YuAn took a long breath as he thought to himself: ‘How can I help Yan HeQing?’

As he was thinking about it, a panicked shout came from outside the cell: “Y-your Ma-majesty?!”

Xiao YuAn stood up and turned his head, only to see Yan HeQing walking towards him at a calm pace. His icy eyes became warm the moment he looked at Xiao YuAn.

The Jailer kneeled on the ground as he shouted ‘Your Majesty!’ in a panicked state, but Yan HeQing didn’t say a word. He simply stretched out his hand and pulled out the sword from the Jailer’s waist, cutting off the lock on the prison’s door.

Yan HeQing pushed the door open and stepped inside. Then Yan HeQing pressed down on Xiao YuAn’s shoulder as he checked him back and forth, feeling slightly relieved once he saw that Xiao YuAn wasn’t injured.

Xiao YuAn smiled and said: “Yan-ge, I’m fine.”

Yan HeQing hummed: “I’ll take you out.”

“Wait!” Xiao YuAn grabbed Yan HeQing’s arm, and said: “I’ve something to discuss with you.”

When Yan HeQing saw that Xiao YuAn’s eyes were gazing at the Jailer, he understood immediately and sent everyone away. Then, he looked at Xiao YuAn.

Xiao YuAn said: “Yan-ge, you’ve been waiting for an opportunity to impeach Huang Yue, right?”

This was the first time Xiao YuAn and Yan HeQing would talk about political affairs, and when he saw Yan HeQing nodding his head, Xiao YuAn said everything he knew in detail. Then, he finally said: “I have an idea.”

Yan HeQing asked: “What?”

Xiao YuAn smoothed his thoughts and said: “Yan-ge, don’t get me out of prison. Lock me up for a few days, and then I’ll-….”

“No.”

Xiao YuAn’s speech had just started when he was suddenly interrupted by Yan HeQing. Xiao YuAn froze, and said: “It’ll only be for a few days, just tell the Jailers to not hurt me-….”

Yan HeQing said inexorably: “No.”

“Yan-ge, I’m not afraid of being in the dirty and smelly prison. Besides, a few days of imprisonment won’t be a problem.”

“No.”

Xiao YuAn: “…. Yan-ge, let me help you.”

Yan HeQing no longer said any more words and went forward to pick Xiao YuAn up. However, who would have thought that Xiao YuAn would step back, avoiding his hug.

Seeing that Yan HeQing’s body trembled, slightly angered and how his eyes suddenly turned cold, Xiao YuAn hurried to explain: “I’m dirty, I’ve been sitting in this prison for a while, don’t hug me yet.”

Yan HeQing: “I don’t care.”

Xiao YuAn: “Even if you don’t care, I do! Since I’m not allowed to stay in prison, then wait for me to get out and take a bath before hugging me. Alright?”

Yan HeQing was silent for a long time before he finally nodded his head.

When the two of them left the prison, Yan HeQing instructed the servants to prepare clean clothes. All the way back, Xiao YuAn was reluctantly saying that he wanted to help Yan HeQing, until finally, he quieted down for a moment after they arrived at the bath.

Xiao YuAn took off his clothes and soaked into the pool, but then he saw that Yan HeQing was standing on the side, seemingly not intending to leave or getting in the pool. Xiao YuAn smiled and splashed him with water: “Let’s bathe together.”

After being splashed, Yan HeQing reached out to wipe the water on his face, but he couldn’t prevent being dragged into the pool by Xiao YuAn, who silently swam to the edge of the pool.

The water splashed everywhere as Yan HeQing fell into the pool, drenched from head to toe, looking slightly wretched.

Xiao YuAn smiled as he put his hands on Yan HeQing’s shoulders. Yan HeQing was wearing black clothes, and his sleeves were floating in the water, wrapping around Xiao YuAn’s white body, just like a white space in an ink painting. Then, Xiao YuAn said with a smile: “Yan-ge, are you angry because I didn’t hug you in the prison?”

Yan HeQing looked at Xiao YuAn for a moment, until his dark eyes were filled with the water mists. As he stretched out his hand, he slowly traced Xiao YuAn’s spine with his fingertips, little by little, from his neck to the end of his spine. Then, he asked: “Xiao YuAn, do you want to help me?”

Xiao YuAn, who was touched so suggestively, couldn’t help but shiver with pleasure. It took him a long time to calm down, and stop shivering, before he could say: “I want to!”

Suddenly, Xiao YuAn’s eyes brightened up: “What is it? Did you figure it out? Yan-ge, let me tell you, I have this bitter plan⁷….mmh-!”

Xiao YuAn’s voice stopped abruptly, because half of a finger was pushed inside him.

Yan HeQing leaned over his ear. His breath was warm and his voice was hoarse as he said: “Xiao YuAn, why don’t you use ‘this’ to help me ‘down there’?”

Xiao YuAn: “….. Ta-t-talk properly! Why are you sp-speaking with a-a y-yellow, yellow a-accent⁸!!! ….Forget it, you can use it. But why do you have to look so handsome as you speak with a yellow accent, why?!!”

✨We’ve reached chapter 200!!✨ °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° wohoo! o(≧∇≦o)✧

We’re now 10 chapters away from the ending! (and then we’ll have 25 extras)

Now that XYA has a more healthy and strong body, YHQ and him are like rabbits! They’re making up for the lost time I see…??

Ahh can’t wait for that damn Huang Yue get what he deserves! Final boss, the main couple is after you! ヽ( ･∀･)ﾉ┌┛Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ

Support me on kofi!! （*’∀’人）♥

Footnotes

1. 死鸭子嘴硬 sǐ yā zi zuǐ yìng; Used as a metaphor for a person who is stubborn and is unwilling to admit any mistakes.
2. 小兄弟 xiǎo xiōng dì; This “xiao” refers to “young”, so this can be translated as “Young Brother”. It’s an endearing address to a young male.
3. 天牢 tiān láo; It refers to a Prison set in the Capital under the direct control of the Imperial Court. It’s separated from the underground prisons, and refers to a prison above the ground, where sentenced criminals were held.
4. 女朋友 nǚ péng you; ‘Girlfriend’ is a modern concept that didn’t exist in ancient China because couples didn’t date before getting married; same with 男朋友 nán péng you, ‘Boyfriend’. There were only Husband and Wife, hence why the Jailer isn’t familiar with those words.
5. Here XYA uses two ways of calling a ‘Husband’; 相公 xiàng gong and 夫君 fū jūn.
6. 默认 mò rèn; It means to express agreement with something by not refuting it, even though one doesn’t speak or demonstrate it in one’s behavior. XYA is implying that the Jailer must have a husband simply because he didn’t reply to his question lmao.
7. 苦肉计 kǔ ròu jì; A trick in which one will injure oneself in order to gain the enemy’s confidence. From《单刀会》by (关汉卿 guān hàn qīng) Guan Hanqing [1235-1300], from the Yuan or Mongol Dynasty [1279-1368].
8. 开黄腔 kāi huáng qiāng; A dialect popular in the South, especially in Sichuan, Chongqing, Hunan and Hubei. It basically means “nonsense”, “make a fool of himself”, “talk nonsense without basis”. While in Taiwan, it means “pornographic/sexual/dirty jokes”. I personally think XYA is using this term to refer to the ‘dirty jokes’ part.

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