Husband of the Goblin Tribe

[v2] Chapter Twenty-six – In which Ark and Melon get messy in the kitchen, then invite everyone to a goblin social.

Time is an interesting thing. Around six months ago, I was a double virgin. Now I’m a husband to many goblin wives, and currently five of my many goblin daughters. At least… in the consummatory aspect of it. I’m conveniently leaving out the orcs and the as-yet dwarf who has arrived only because at the moment, they are irrelevant.

Melon is roughly five months old, but looks like a teenager would she be human. This is a month older than a goblin’s general age of independence for moving out of the cave-hole of her maker goblin and seeking out her own cave-hole to live in and prepare for her eventual passage into motherhood roughly ten to eleven months later when she becomes biologically capable of doing so through the Blood Awakening.  Had the goblin me not... altered that fate.

According to Figurine who is slightly younger than Melon by roughly two weeks, living for those approximately five months felt like forever. I still have yet to determine an age that matches their cognitive and emotional development to that of a human, but even if I had, it would be useless. Goblins are just fundamentally different than humans. It’s like comprehending the difference of how a thousand years of time passes for a blade of grass and a tree. While both plants, they are fundamentally different and grow at far different speeds, likely experiencing the passage of time extremely differently.

I’m being long-winded here because of what’s currently happening in Melon’s Kitchen.

Oh, it’s nothing bad. In fact, it could be considered quite… romantic. In a way… which is where a bit of the confusion is coming from.

After having left Vera’s company, I went to keep my promise of teaching Melon how to use the new vegetables that Cobi had delivered to Goblinhome. Seeing as how there were eight additional mouths to feed, I was going to introduce Melon to the wonderful world of meat stews. It really wasn’t all that hard. We had some new equipment to help us out in the form of huge metal pots, and so filling one up with water and activating the magic panels for heating the stone stove-top, in one of those kind of television moments, I stood behind Melon, took hold of her hands—including the one which was holding the vernir knife I had given her when she was about two weeks old—and showed her how to peel potatoes and carrots and how to cut them up efficiently.

Now, Melon is a pudgy goblin. But in that adorable kind of way. The top of her head comes up to my collar bone, so that should be fine for a height comparison between us. My body pressed up against hers from behind and that lustful part of me was eagerly pressing against her lower half.  It didn’t take much to set it off between us.

It was already something like a slow-burn kind of affair in the kitchen. I did my best to keep things as sanitary as possible where food was concerned, but for us it was like a newlyweds-made-dinner scene in the kitchen. Melon had her animal pelt apron on, and my hands had slid in through the sides, groping her growing plump breasts while my own improperly colored cucumber was sliding in and out of her.  She showed an amazing ability to focus on cutting up vegetables and chunks of meat with ease while it did so.

I told her about various uses for the vegetables as my hands groped the sides of her ass and while I changed up kissing each side of her neck and shoulders. Melon occasionally asked me a question about something I mentioned and also gave me a little throw-back jostle of her jiggly green booty when she did.  I wondered if I had met Pear when she was this age, would she have looked like Melon did?

Now, obviously, there was a bit of sticky white fluid accumulating on the kitchen floor by this point. We’d been at it for a good long while. Two big pots of soup had been made, with the only difference between them being one having pieces of meat put in early to cook properly for the goblins who enjoyed cooked meat, the orcs, Cobi, Dara, and myself, and the other pot having raw pieces of meat dropped in only at the end so that it would flavor the soup and heat the meat but not cook it to the point the goblins who liked it raw would find it disgusting.

One of the things Cobi had brought with him was a large sack of salt, of which was some was put to use here. I had high hopes for the stew tasting good. The scent coming out of Melon’s kitchen had even drawn inside a passing-by Fun who was coming back from a trip to the recently renovated shit-pit.  Curious as to what was cooking, she came to find Melon and I engaged in our continued slow coitus and as was perfectly natural for her to want to do, she began to rub herself while she watched us.

Melon invited her over and had Fun occupy the space that she had just been in. Ordinally, both Game and Fun came into this world after Melon and before Figurine, so it wasn’t unreasonable for her to be at the age of wanting what both her older sisters and immediate younger sister got to have already.

Melon was prepared with readily available fruit and encouraged me to show Fun a good time. I was no longer really reluctant to fight it with my daughters who were old enough to move out and become independent. I did my best to touch Fun in a pleasant way, sliding my fingers along her clitoris up top while my Melon-soaked cock slid against the underside of her youthful goblin pussy down below.  One hand groping her smallish breasts, which had been inherited from her maker goblin, Toy.

Melon had joined us in her own way, tilting Fun’s head up to squeeze a ripe fruit so that the sticky juices would flow into her open mouth as much as it didn’t, only to trickle down her chin and onto her chest where Melon licked Fun’s other unoccupied breast. There was no unnecessary subtext here. Fun had just wandered in at an opportune moment, and the result was having an enjoyable time with me and whoever else happened to be here.

Melon had even helped her sister reach adulthood by taking hold of my manhood and putting it where it needed to go. My first entry into Fun was a bit tight, even with some foreplay assistance, but soon enough, yet another one of my daughters was now a wife.

Fun was very vocal about how she was enjoying her passage into adulthood. As part of my Clan, I didn’t hesitate to nibble on her ear which she found to be extremely amorous. As her body shook from a combination of both internal and external stimulus, I marked her womb with a proper belly-filling amount of semen.

I hadn’t been rough with her at all, choosing to go slow and steady with her just as I had been doing with Melon the entire time, so she wasn’t wobbly-legged and quite eager to continue. After a quick soup check by Melon, I was treated to a sudden tongue-tangling double-daughter cock-licking by both Melon and Fun and it was kind of cute to see how enthusiastic Fun was in learning how to do it from Melon to my liking.

But all good things come to an end. Fun was treated to a second orgasm before dinner was ready and then excused herself to clean up in the bath before we ate, while a much sturdier Melon and I made arrangements to bring the pots and bowls out to the fire-pit area.  We had plenty of stone bowls and wooden spoons already on hand.

A small, raised pillar of compacted dirt was made for the pots to sit on and cool slightly while with some help from Ruby and Jade who weren’t doing much of anything, they ran through Goblinhome calling everyone outside for dinner. Stella volunteered to let the orcs know that the War Chief had participated in the cooking of tonight’s meal, and she also rustled up Cobi and the six kobolds to come down as well.

Dara, Old One and Wise-eyes had also joined us, making it so every resident of Goblinhome was present for our first stew-night. Even Bitey and Beastie were present, though neither of them actually ate. Four of the Kobolds went for stew with the heated-but-not-cooked meat, while two of them, The Gold and the Blue Kobolds went for the fully-cooked meat stew along with all of my orc war-brides, Rushk included.

All of the space available on the logs surrounding the fire pit were quickly taken up, and some goblins just sat down wherever they wanted, next to whomever they wanted, enjoying drinking the stew messily while enjoying the night sky view. It’s not like the stew was anything ground-breaking in taste, it was simply something newish and enjoyable for everyone in a social setting.  And goblins are extremely sociable creatures. 

The Kobolds were also friendly enough to my wives and daughters.

Nymphi, the white-scaled Kobold and Prima were engaged in a discussion about the aesthetics of bone-tipped spears. Prima had gone into her cave-hole only to come out with Gob-dent, the so-called grand weapon that I had made for her following her Blood Fury. Both were admiring the spear made entirely out of bone and its special function that caused the tip of the spear to open outward like a claw when a small handle was pulled near the base.

“Sneaky spear! Nymfi like!”

“Husband is good at making strange weapons.”

“Gnome same. She make all weapons for Kobolds use. Cobi keep weapons clean when not using.  Nymfi see blood on spear, not good.  Not matter wood, bone, metal.  All rot or rust if not keep clean.  Take care of weapon and it not break when need it most.”

Nymfi was giving Prima pointers on maintaining her weapon.  I'm sure Prima already knew how to do that, since I had sorted most of her rust weapons a while ago and hardly saw any with significant rust damage on them.  I was wary of potential tetanus.  Meanwhile, Mandy was sitting next to Ebony, Mint, and Beastie, with Bitey crawling up the red-scaled Kobold’s back.

“Mandy never see bone-spider before. Where find bone in spider?”

“I don’t know? Iggy is the one who said we’d make a friend who was good at hunting.”

“Who Iggy?”

Ebony, never without her wand, had pulled it out and showed it off to the Kobold warlock.

“Oh! Mandy can feel big spirit magic from wand!  Ebony like making skeleton servants?”

“They aren’t servants. Bitey and Beastie are my friends!”

“Friends… with skeleton servants?”

“Yeah! Beastie was adult goblin killed by Black-claws before Ebony came into the world. With help from my little sister goblin Mint, we made her bones move again!  Wanna know a secret?  Beastie wants to make strong-ones with Husband, but she's not sure how to do that.”

“Hmm, Mandy not know either. Never hear Skeleton make egg before with Humie.  But anything possible with magic...”

I could see the glazed-over look in Mint’s eyes as she listened quietly to the ridiculous conversation between those two.

Magpie and Trixie the black-scaled Kobold were showing each other their assorted small-arms. It turns out Trixie is the roguish type and an adaptive fighter. As such, She and Magpie were also expertly traversing the parkour course.

“This fun. Like dodging traps in dungeon.”

“What’s a dungeon?”

“It’s big cave that has shinies inside. Sometimes full of tricky traps. Sometimes big beasties. But always fun to explore. Bring shinies home and make hoard bigger. Magpie collect shinies?”

“Yes. Who doesn’t like collecting shiny things?”

Magpie had pulled out a small pouch containing a number of shiny stones and shells she had collected, showing them off to the Kobold.

“Pretty stones. Where find?”

“Most by the borders. Shells at the stream, smooth blue shiny stones at the big rock, and lots of things to be found on the ground by the black trees where Magpie met Kobolds. I have more in my cave-hole. Husband made Magpie a big shelf where she can look at them anytime she wants when it’s time to be lazy.”

“Oh, sound like Magpie might make a good dragon-goblin. Looking at shinies while being lazy is an important thing to be good at!”

Closer to the fire-pit, Berry and Silky, the green-scaled Kobold Alchemist, were having a conversation about various things alchemical, fermentative, and poisonous. But not at all, really.

“So, how big Berry Humie’s front tail?”

Berry made an approximate measurement.

“What about Silky’s Husband?”

Silky made an approximate measurement in return.

Berry nodded.

“Cobi good with fingers. Know right were rub to make Silky feel good. Make tail shake easy-easy. You?”

“Husband does this thing with his tongue down there… Sometimes Berry likes it more than when he puts his seed-stick inside.”

“Hmm, Silky should ask Cobi try using tongue.”

“There’s a new thing going around Goblinhome. Take a fruit and squeeze it over your open mouth. Whatever doesn’t go in and drips down the body… Husband has to lick.”

“That… fun idea! Maybe Silky see if Cobi have fruits in backpack. Try first, tell Berry after… Now, can talk about how make yummy drink hear called blue water? Silkie told you only goblin who know how make it.”

“Sure, it’s not all that hard to make. The first thing you need is…”

Gnome, the blue-scaled Kobold and Toy were occupying a space next to each other on one of the logs surrounding the fire-pit while eating and talking about crafting unusual things.

“What toilet exactly?”

“Something Husband showed Toy how to make. It’s like a big wooden box you sit on and shit into.”

“Why shit in box? Easier just shit outside.”

“Toy thought so too, but ever accidentally step in shit? Sit on box, shit. Never have to worry about stepping in shit anymore because it went down the box.”

“Hmm. But box smell really bad after shit in it many times, yes?”

“The toilet is a box with a special hole at the bottom that goes to the shit-pit. There’s a bowl of water you pour into it after going shit into the box that makes all the sticky and smelly shit disappear down the hole in the bottom. Sometimes, after a really smelly shit, Husband uses something called air-freshy to make both toilet and shit-pit not smell bad anymore. He’s really strange when it comes to smells, dirt, and shit.”

“Cobi same. Always finds things that smell good, and has Gnome make things that make keeping Kobolds clean easy. Think Humies care too much about always being clean.  Nothing wrong with a little bit of dirt.”

“It probably has to do with their big-seed.”

“What mean?”

“Husband said a long time ago that if he keeps his body clean and has fire-meat to eat, he can always give goblins big-seed. That’s why we have so many strong-ones already! Does Gnome have any strong-ones?”

“No. Not make egg with Cobi yet. Not have clutchmother to watch over eggs if make.”

“Don’t you have Cobi? Husband is always watching our strong-ones and teaching them things.”

“That…”

Gnome paused to think about something.

“…something maybe Gnome talk to Cobi about. Never bad thing to have more Kobolds in party, but also mean might have to share Cobi with them when grow up…”

And lastly, Button and Boggie the gold-scaled Kobold were already wrapping up having engaged each other in a mostly friendly spar.

“Button have good foundation. Who teach how to fight?”

“Tricky Husband Ark. When Button was only a little strong-one, Husband began teaching her the secrets of the Swirly-whirly.”

“Swirly-whirly? What that?”

“The strongest power in world.”

“Boggie not mean speak bad about Humie, but he look weak. What make Button think that Humie know what strongest power in world is?”

“He only looks weak because he’s Tricky about everything. One of the most important things Husband has taught Button was to always calmly observe and think things through as much as possible before making a move. The more Button is able to understand herself and what she is looking to do, the better the chance Button will succeed.  So far, Button hasn't lost to anyone yet in a real fight.”

“That good advice. Think when Boggie hatchling and meet master, Ironfinger, say something similar. Boggie kobold, but also Boggie have blood of dragon inside. Have plenty of time live long life. Not need be in hurry do many things fast. Take time, learn one thing at time slow until understand completely. Then Boggie move with power of dragon.”

Button nodded.

Both respected each other’s foundational disciplines before once more sending out their martial artist’s intent to battle a little more at each other.

“What is the name of your martial art, Boggie?”

“Called Dragon Fist.”

“Sounds strong. Want to… be a little more serious this time?”

“Keep to not breaking bones?”

“Sounds good to me. I'll even show you my personal martial art. Mushroom Fist.”

“Boggie look forward to it.”

Both took up a fighting stance and clashed once more, providing ample entertainment for those who were watching.

The food was eventually all eaten, and with some help from Cobi, the entertainment continued into the night with he and the Kobolds telling everyone gathered stories about some of their adventures, out into places my Bloodmaw wives and orc brides had yet to set foot. Stories of raiding dungeons, stories of subjugating beasts, and what turned out to be a fan favorite—stories about being very lazy afterwards!

Berry had sneakily gone inside Goblinhome and returned with a couple jars of blue water which were passed around and communally emptied. Even some of my daughters who probably shouldn’t have, had a small sip of the stuff.

Krushka fell off the log and would be sleeping outside tonight but wouldn’t be the only one to do so. Magpie and Nova decided to keep watch over the fallen and inebriated. Those who could make it back to their cave-holes and wanted to… did, though that was almost exclusively Old One.

However, there was one goblin who had her eyes on me almost the entire night, and as she lightly teetered over to me, I was aware of what needed to be done. Game… may have perhaps had more than a single sip of blue water tonight. I quickly received her and sat her down next to me.

“Did you have fun tonight?”

Game nodded exaggeratedly.

“Wahsh funn~ Food tashtee~”

She captured my arm and rested her head against it.

“Husband…”

Father aside, it would be irresponsible of me as a man and as a Husband to make her ask first at this point. I doubt she’s unaware by now that Fun has already...

“Game… would you like to become and Adult goblin tonight?”

Game rocked her head affirmatively on my shoulder.

"Yeshh~" (Yes~)

“Want to come me with me to my cave-hole?”

“Nope! Game wanshh to begum adult goblin riiiight here.” (Nope!  Game wants to become an adult goblin right here.)

“Here?”

“Here.”

“Any particular reason why… here?”

“Becushh I wann ebryone shuu shee~” (Because i want everyone to see~)

Hoo boy. Should I be surprised that one of my more reserved daughters is currently expressing an exhibitionist side to herself? Surely, with my daughter in such a state, I wouldn’t do something she might regret not remembering, right?

Haha…

~~** Interlude | Nova **~~

Magpie and I were sitting on the ledge of the upper floor entrance leading into the Goblin’s Guild watching the many sleeping residents and guests of Goblinhome sleeping outside. We were also watching a certain pair who were not sleeping at all and doing their best to increase the number of goblins in the tribe.

“It’s hypnotizing, isn’t it, Magpie?”

“Are you speaking of what my Lord and Game are doing?”

“I am.”

“I admit that I am curious as to how it must feel that both my Lord and the other adult goblins as well as our older sisters are always engaging or talking about engaging in the act of wasting big-seed or making strong-ones.”

“They’re the same thing, Magpie. I bet he doesn’t even realize he’s releasing that scent. Shitty old man has no consideration for us.”

“It’s not so unpleasant a smell anymore. What about you, Nova. Are you awaiting the time my Lord will embrace you?”

“Shit no. He can keep his seed-stick to himself.”

“You aren’t interested in becoming an adult goblin?”

“I’m adult enough. Besides, I’m far more interested in burying my face in Krushka’s chest. If I can go my whole life never having any strong-ones inside my belly, it’ll be a good life loved.”

“Does… my Lord know how you feel?”

“He’s fine with it. Not like there’s any shortage of goblins who want to have his strong-ones.”

I watched as Magpie’s hand went to her stomach. I guess as a proper female goblin, she was having some normal thoughts on the matter.

“You can rub yourself if you want. I’m keeping an eye on everything.”

Magpie undid her loincloth and slid a hand down between her legs. A soft breath filtered out of her mouth as she pursued her maidenly experience in my company. Better a maiden than a whore, I suppose. She didn’t rub herself for long before removing her hand.

“Something the matter?” I asked.

“A moon. One more moon and then I’ll seek my Lord’s touch.”

“Pssh. Think a moon of time is going to change anything? If you feel the call to be an adult, then you’re an adult. Simple as that, Magpie.”

Magpie lowered her head.

“Nova, do you ever rub yourself?”

“Not often. Might be enjoyable if I had a cute girl offer to do it for me.”

Magpie laughed.

“Cute girl?”

“Yeah, like Melon. She’s got some nice milkies and a big butt. If orcs grow as fast as we do, I’d be interested in one of them if they’re female and grow up similar to her.”

“…you say strange things.”

I shrugged.

“Can’t help liking what you like, Magpie. You like that shitty old man, right?”

“Yes. I want to be held by him and make those same faces while he fills my belly. I just… would rather he remain a human when that happens.”

“I don’t blame you. He was one ugly bastard as a goblin. Strong as hell, though. I’m pretty sure he lost on purpose when we sparred. Have you had any luck making a 「Wind Wall」 yet?”

“Not yet. What about you?”

“Yeah. I figured out that Aku-soku-zan thing. It’s a really brutal move. Do you know what those words mean?”

“In gob it would be something like slay evil immediately.”

“Evil? That must be why it didn’t work.”

“What do you mean?”

“That attack was executed almost perfectly, especially when he used the Wind Wall to make himself move faster. What I mean by it didn’t work was simply that there was no conviction behind that attack. Has that shitty old man ever hit any of us?”

“I’ve seen him spank both Diana Artemis and Pepper…”

“Let me change that. Have you seen him hit any of us in anger and not when his seed-stick is buried inside of them?”

Magpie shook her head as I expected.

“No. Never.”

“So how can an attack that is supposed to slay evil hurt any of us who he sees as his good-natured strong-ones?”

“I see. That does make a bit of sense. Then, is that attack something he wanted to teach you for when it became necessary for you to slay something evil?”

“Maybe. He didn’t really want to spar with me at all, but he suddenly said he would and made those strange swords in order to do so. Can’t believe he just let Diana have it after the spar, either. She’s even more of a monster in a fight now with that thing.”

“That’s just how my Lord is, though. Always giving us new ways to become stronger.”

It seems our conversation went on long enough to see Game no longer able to continue enduring that bastard’s insane endurance. Never met a man who could out-fuck an entire whorehouse before him. Though he’s considerably kinder than anyone visiting a proper whorehouse, since he’s carrying Game over to where Fun is laying down and joining them.

Magpie leaned her body against mine and we both stared up at the stars in the night sky.

While she did, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy at my father. Not for the fact that he had a whole tribe and more as his harem. No. For the fact that he embraces his fatherhood as best he can, and even though he missteps, he always tries to correct himself, negotiating with the devil if need be so that he believe it when he says to himself that he is a good father. I… never got the chance to be one myself, at least… I don’t think I ever fathered a brat with a whore. Did play nice with a few, but that’s because I was a whoreson as well.

I sent up a silent prayer to Hott, the guardian deity of the desert sands that I never experience motherhood. I already know I’d make a shitty father, but sure as hell can’t imagine how badly I’d fuck up being a mother…

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