Chapter 114: Less Than Ideal Life Of A Supporting Husband (5)
Chapter 114: Less Than Ideal Life Of A Supporting Husband (5)
“That was a close call!”
I had only asked on a whim, but she really hadn’t taken the birth control potion.
I was sincerely relieved that Helen hadn’t gotten pregnant.
“Don’t get it twisted! It’s not like Harin was… not it?!! It’s obvious that a future child between you and me would be cute, so it’s not like I want to become a mother soon!! I just forgot because I was busy!!”
I made up my mind.
At least until ‘househusband’ came before ‘maternal instinct’, I’d be thoroughly using contraception with Helen.
“Right… Of course, you would have.”
“Hmph! As long as you know. Now let’s hurry up and finish. I’m busy too.”
Swoosh─
With that, Helen pushed her hips out once again.Lifting her toes slightly considering the height difference, it was quite admirable, but I couldn’t go back on my resolution just then.
“No, I’m good. Not doing it today.”
“What, what did you say? Why the sudden change of heart?”
“It’s a risky day. I don’t have a condom.”
“Since when did trash like you start caring about that…!! I’ll just take a birth control potion later!”
Helen approached almost as if she was going to grab my collar, and I carefully spoke.
“…You’re not going to take the birth control potion.”
“What, what nonsense! You can’t just cancel that!! Last time, I just, just forgot!!”
Helen yelled, her red hair seemingly blending into her face with slight exaggeration.
“Alright, I’ll cancel it. Calm down.”
“Of course, you should! If someone heard us, they’d think I want to have a child with you!”
“…But what if you forget again this time?”
“I, I won’t!! Do you think Helen Redrose would make the same mistake twice!!”
I had a feeling Helen’s definition of ‘mistake’ was the complete opposite of what I thought…
“…You’d never admit it even if I asked now.”
From experience, it was best to change the topic at times like this.
“Why are you so flustered? Do you really want to have sex with me that badly?”
“Wh-when did I ever say I wanted to have sex?! If we’re going to do it, I just want to get it over with and go back!”
Honestly, Helen was cute enough that I was tempted to just give in.
It was unavoidable.
What man in the world wouldn’t be flattered by a beautiful and capable woman like Helen wanting to get pregnant by him?
However, succumbing to temptation and impregnating Helen would definitely lead to serious consequences.
‘I might really get stabbed by Evelyn…’
Though I had Evelyn’s permission for up to 10 in the harem, I had promised that the first pregnancy would be hers.
But introducing a suddenly pregnant Helen to Evelyn?
…Just the thought gave me chills.
“So, I’ll let you go. You said you need to hurry.”
“No… but what if you really send me… Ah! Wait a minute!”
Swoosh─
As I was about to pull up my pants, Helen quickly shouted and pulled a condom from the depths of her wallet.
“Think… actually, there is one condom.”
“….”
“What’s with that look! It’s not like I got it for you or anything. I just…heard that keeping a condom in your wallet helps money accumulate!!”
I hadn’t said anything, but Helen was already making excuses.
“Well, now it’s settled, right? Like I said, I’m busy, so let’s hurry up and…”
“Sorry, but I can’t use this.”
“Argh!! Why do you men have to be so nitpicky!! What else is there to complain about now!! You won’t get a chance to be with a superior woman like me again in your life, not even for a full semester. Isn’t every day precious?”
“No… the condom size doesn’t fit.”
“What, what did you say?”
“The condom is too small.”
Helen glanced back and forth between the condom and my face and whispered softly.
“That can’t be right?…It’s…the largest one?”
“If you don’t believe it, try putting it on.”
“Hmph! Just because yours is a bit large, showing off… You might not know, but elasticity is crucial for condoms…? Eh? Wait, what! Why isn’t it fitting!! It should fit if I do it this way!!”
“I told you, it doesn’t fit.”
As sorry as I felt for Helen, even a ‘human-sized XXL condom’ couldn’t contain me.
Only a ‘demon-sized XXL condom’ might fit, but even those kept tearing…
So, I started using birth control potions as they became more practical after repeatedly tearing condoms.
“Are you not human…!! How can an XXL condom be too small?”
“If you really want to have sex next time, bring a demon-sized XXL or a birth control potion. If you buy a human-sized one like this time, it won’t fit.”
“Who said I want to do it! Hmph! If it doesn’t fit…that’s even better!! Unlike you, I wish to be involved less every day!!”
“For someone who doesn’t want it, you seem quite wet.”
“That’s just a physiological reaction!! And since you’re a man, you probably don’t know how terrible the taste of a birth control potion is?”
Helen seemed to think I didn’t know the taste of birth control potions, but I had actually tried it a bit and knew.
‘It was disgustingly bad…’
Evelyn was extremely happy when she commissioned the new condoms at ‘Poporing Trading’.
Birth control potions were judged to be mediocre even by Yuris, who enjoyed weird food like mint-chicken and barley-cola.
‘Ah, so that’s why Helen hasn’t been drinking it?’
Considering Helen’s unique condition of shared taste and touch, drinking a birth control potion could feel as torturous as actual torture.
‘…I feel a bit sorry.’
Feeling somewhat guilty about not considering that sooner.
“…And you! You said you weren’t after the Redrose’s fortune, didn’t you? Asking me to buy condoms, isn’t that using Redrose’s wealth!”
“No… how many condoms are you planning to buy that you need to use the Redrose’s fortune… Even I can’t spend that much.”
“That’s, that’s not what I meant!!”
Helen gasped, and I chuckled.
“Just kidding. But since we’ll use them up and have to take birth control potions, it’s better to buy a lot.”
“…Again with the ‘use’! Trash!!! You are really human trash!!!”
“No, no… you said it was reliable information…! Up until now, it matched… But why!!! Is it because I bet money that it’s not working!!”
Swoosh! Swoosh!
As Poporing unfolded the newspaper, she tore up the betting ticket in despair.
She had invested her entire fortune based on information that promised at least a fivefold return, but it all turned into worthless scraps in an instant.
“If I had known this would happen… I should have just paid the rent…”
If she hadn’t gambled it away, she might have been able to cover the overdue rent and research expenses with her advance payment and credit…
But it was too late for regrets.
─Swoosh.
Turning her gaze, Poporing saw a desk full of dildos and condoms.
“What should I do? If I don’t produce any results, I’ll have to return the money…”
Was this request purely for the need of condoms for erotic activities?
It was the first time she had ever been stumped when creating something.
Of course, as a professional magic tool maker, Poporing had worked hard to create the best ‘condom’.
She traveled around the village buying extra-large dildos and various types of condoms for analysis and visited the library to study papers and books on male anatomy.
However…
Nowhere was there mention of a member as large as an arm.
‘…But surely… it can’t be…that they’ll run off with the credit… it won’t happen. The person who gave me those innocent looks…’
Though to be fair, the items taken on credit had a scent of crime about them…
Poporing tried not to think too deeply about that.
-Tick-tock –Tick-tock.
[Post by: Mojito Deliveryman■]
[Are dildos and real dicks very different?][18]
Aren't dildos designed to mimic real dicks? But if they're significantly different, doesn't that pose a problem?
ChildhoodFriendAssault■: Lol, do you think they’re the same? Of course, they're different lol.
└ Mojito Deliveryman■: Have you used a dildo?
└ ChildhoodFriendAssault■: I have a living dildo, why would I need a fake one lol And how can a fake beat the real thing?
└ Mojito Deliveryman■: Could you explain in detail... what’s so different?
└ ChildhoodFriendAssault■: Lol, well, things like smell, body heat, a beating pulse...
└ ChildhoodFriendAssault■: Ah, it's hard to explain lol. You'd understand if you just have sex lol.
└ ㅇㅇ(154.55): This guy acts all knowing after having sex once, seriously...
└ JustSayNiceThings■: Seriously lol. Even the fact he’s had sex sounds like a lie. Does it even make sense to have one as big as a forearm?
└ ㅇㅇ(737.168): Obviously, he’s exaggerating lol. None of the men I've met even came close to half a forearm.
└ ChildhoodFriendAssault■: My boyfriend really is that big lol.
└ Mojito Deliveryman■: Please, a serious answer... It's important... If it's as big as a forearm, how big is it before erection?
└ ChildhoodFriendAssault■: No idea lol. The dude is always turned on when he sees me, so it’s always erect.
└ JustSayNiceThings■: Real incel vibes here, sad fantasies. Where on earth is there one as big as a forearm lololol.
└ ChildhoodFriendAssault■: Just because you haven't seen one doesn’t mean they don't exist lol.
└ JustSayNiceThings■: Rapist talks like she's seen it all lololol.
└ ChildhoodFriendAssault■: You said virgin, then rapist, make up your mind lol. But you probably stink too much to be approached lol.
Poporing, grasping at straws, posted a question in the gallery…
But as expected, no useful information came forth.
“…Ugh… It’s really useless.”
With no other options left…
Swoosh─
Poporing clenched her fist around the student ID she had held as collateral for credit.
‘…Let’s see the real thing!’
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