I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

Chapter 266: Don't Touch Me!

In the study of Lee Tang Han’s villa.

Smack!

A firm slap swung across his face; the sound crisp and loud.

Lee Shunnian was notified about the earlier break-in and came to investigate. He sat on the opposite of his son – his back straight as he held his cane with both hands; his face so dark you could swear that it was about to start raining.

“Look what you did now, you bastard! Do you really think your little meetups with dingy urban legends would go unnoticed? Our god has told me everything! I was simply turning a blind eye – I didn’t expect you to invite some sort of plague god into your house!”

Lee Tang Han covered up his tomato-like face and explained, “There’s nothing to worry about, father. When I checked the scene, only some insignificant items were stolen from the collection room. There is no sign that the door to your private quarters was broken into.”

How the hell would I know that the damned urban legend would be a thief?! To think I was about to kiss her feet!

Damn it! If I catch her, I’ll have to teach her a lesson!

Hearing this, the anger in his father’s brows relaxed slightly, “Good. If anything from my room was lost, I would have skinned you alive myself!”

Knock! Knock!

“Come in.”

Lee Tang Han’s assistant opened the door and walked in. Bowing to both her master and his father, she spoke, “Master, Young Master – the police has given us enough time. It is time for the Young Master to go with them to cooperate with their investigation.”

Hearing this, Lee Shunnian simply scoffed as he knocked the ground with his cane, “Go! Somebody as useless as you should’ve been thrown in jail as a lesson a long time ago!”

Lee Tang Han tried his best to keep his cool as he followed his assistant out the study.

After his son left, Lee Shunnian got up and walked through the villa alone. He entered the wine cellar, and came to a metal wall that was surrounded with the police’s yellow tape. Looking from a distance, he could tell that the metal wall had no obvious signs of damage, and breathed a sigh of relief.

However, the corridor has been cordoned off, so he has no choice but to wait until the police was done with their investigation before he could examine his private quarters himself.

Hmph! I don’t even know where I picked this good-for-nothing son up from.

That little bastard better be telling the truth. If I did lose something, I would have no choice but to send him to the church. Rumor has it that the children sent to the church will always come back obedient and compliant…

Forget it. I’ll wait until the police is done with their investigation, then move the items from my private quarters away from here before the Night Division intervenes in the investigation.

…

Meanwhile…

“Ah… uh… this is…”

When Lu Yibei was interrogated by Bai Kai on who the mysterious girl beside her was, she was speechless.

Although Shui seems like the type of person to ‘let you off the hook’, he still has a strong sense of justice! My father once said that in the club under his protection, the women were rarely sexually harassed by customers.

Therefore… if Shui knows that Jiangli was secretly participating in the urban legend forum’s commissions, he might report it to the Night Division!

Wouldn’t it be awkward and dangerous for her?!

Seeing that she was silent, Bai Kai frowned and patted on her shoulder with a stern grip, “Come with me. I’d like to talk to you alone.”

Then, he turned around and walked away into a clearing.

Seeing this, Yibei glanced at Jiangli and blinked at her, as if asking her, “Should I go?”

Jiangli blinked back, as if saying, “Go! And don’t say anything unnecessary! 🫰”

…?! Huh?! Was that my imagination? How did she…

Scratching the back of her head, she shook her head and chased after Bai Kai.

As soon as she reached Bai Kai, Bai Kai pulled her to a big tree by the river, then glanced ‘Mew Mew’ in the distance as he lowered her voice, “Bei, tell me what’s going on. Who is she?”

“Ah, she’s…” she fidgeted uncomfortably as she spoke. “She’s my best friend? Yeah. A best friend who I have a very close relationship with.”

Hearing this, Bai Kai widened her eyes as he took a step back. He looked Yibei up and down, and sighed, “Bei! You can’t do that! Just because you can become a girl doesn’t mean you can use that to your advantage by jumping on her! Haven’t I, or hell, your father, taught you enough? Can’t you just, you know, take her down fair-and-square?”

…Both of your ‘pick-up’ methods are ten times worse, actually! If I heed both of your advices, I’ll get the cops called on me!

Plus…! How can you be so sure that I’m not the one getting jumped on?!

“Uh, Shui,” Yibei pouted. “I thought you knew me well. I’m not interested in women…”

“Ah?”

Bai Kai suddenly recalled back to the time when Yibei had various strange behavioral patterns due to Bright’s and Daydream’s memories clashing with her own, and his expression changed slightly.

Realizing that what she said might cause misunderstandings in Bai Kai, she hurriedly corrected, “And I’m not interested in men either.”

“…” Bai Kai was silent for a moment, then sighed again, “No – that’s not the issue right now. My question is – what were the two of you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?”

“Uh, we were…”

She was prepared to come up with a lie, but Bai Kai interrupted her before she could finish.

“Ah, ah, ah – and don’t tell me that you’re here ‘for a date.’ No normal person would come here at this time and place for a date,” like godfather, like goddaughter, Bai Kai had already guessed Yibei’s cheeky plans to lie to him.

“Be honest,” Bai Kai continued. “Were you in Hongshan Villas earlier? And don’t lie to me – I could feel both of your psychic energy fluctuations just now. It was how I tracked the two of you down.”

“Well…”

“Tsk, I knew it!” Bai Kai scoffed, glancing at ‘Mew Mew’ with a pout. “So, you’re telling me she’s the one causing all the trouble earlier?!”

“Shui, uh, listen…”

Shui put his hands on his hips and interrupted, “Don’t try to defend her. Do you know how humiliated I was earlier? For god’s sake! I told the police that I was a ‘law-abiding citizen’ or whatever, and I swore up-and-down that no illegal or criminal activities were happening inside the villa. Well, guess what? As soon as those words left my mouth, the damned swimming pool exploded right in front of my face!”

Hearing this, Yibei held her forehead and covered her face with one hand, as if she was a child who did a little oopsie. She peeked at Bai Kai through the gaps of her fingers and squeaked, “What happened next?”

“I ran away! Now, the police think that the boss of the house was making bombs at home, which constitutes the crime of illegally manufacturing explosives!”

It was silent again, and Bai Kai looked straight into his goddaughter’s eyes through the gaps of her fingers, “Bei, you’re an adult. It is fine to go on dates with a boy or a girl, I suppose.”

“Please remove the ‘boy’ part…”

“I said what I said,” he shrugged. “Listen – your godfather is an open-minded person, so I won’t try to intervene in any of your relationships. Even if you have a fiancée waiting for you, I have never…”

“Excuse me? Could you repeat that?”

“Repeat what? That I won’t intervene in your relationships?”

“No! The next sentence!”

“Even if you have a fiancée waiting for you, I have never barged into any of your relationships. There, that is what I said. Is there a problem?” Bai Kai blinked, looking at his goddaughter up and down, as if asking, ‘Since when did I raise such a stupid goddaughter?’

“When the fuck did I get a fiancée?!” Yibei blurted out. “Tell me her name! Her address! Her height! All of her measurements!”

“Uh…” Bai Kai was stunned for a moment, before saying something that shocked his goddaughter further. “Which fiancée are you talking about?”

“No way. How many fiancées could I have?”

My father mentioned something about an arranged marriage when I was younger, but I never bothered asking him. However, listening to Shui’s words… I don’t think I ever asked how many fiancées I have.

Actually, who in the right mind would arrange more than one marriage for their own child, damn it?!

“Oh, plenty!” Bai Kai curled his lips and continued adding currents to his goddaughter’s shock. “There’s one who was wed off to you in the womb, there’s another in the act of returning the favor, there’s also another one who sold their daughter off, and one of them is for political purposes, and there is one who was simply attracted to you ever since you were a child, and…”

“Stop, stop!” she could no longer listen and interrupted. “What was my dad thinking?! Was it necessary to get me that many fiancées?!”

Bai Kai thought for a moment, before nodding meaningfully, “Maybe your father was worried that you would walk down his road and hang yourself from a tree, ending up with a crooked neck. A little bit of insurance, he would say!

…a little bit? It’s starting to sound a little like a lot!

“Bah! All of that is unimportant! Yes, your father might’ve pulled some strings, but at this day and age, nobody would be stupid enough to follow his wishes.”

Makes sense. I’m nineteen now, and I have never met a single one of these ‘fiancées’ before. She thought to herself.

Bai Kai then peeked over his shoulder to glance at Jiangli, then turned back around to grip Yibei on the shoulders, “What I want to say is – even though I said I won’t interfere in any of your relationships, at least don’t go out on dates with people who have unknown origins! Look at her! I didn’t know you were into bad girls! I’m telling you! The longer you date bad girls, the easier it is for you to be led down the wrong path!”

Just like your dad, Bai Kai added in his heart.

From Bai Kai’s point of view, Yibei’s father was a charming and handsome young man. He was very popular in the psychic’s circle and was coveted after by thousands of girls, which is quite a feat.

He just had to go and follow that devil-incarnate-of-a-woman to commit crimes. Straight out of cliché martial arts novel. Real inspiring.

Yibei sighed silently and replied, “Okay, Shui, but to be honest with you, I was the one who blew up their basement. She was the one who fished me out of the explosion.”

“Bei, I told you – you don’t need to defend her. I mean, look at her! Blonde hair, full-black-leather motorcycle suit, and are those stuffed breast pads? She’s not a good girl.”

…she wears breast pads? Wait, not the point… she shook her head and retorted. “Shui, I’m not trying to defend her. I’m trying to tell you that I was the one who blew it up.”

“Is that true?”

“Yes!”

Bai Kai remained silent and dark for a few seconds, and his face was as red as tomato until he suddenly smiled at his goddaughter.

“Woah, that’s awesome, Bei! I’m telling you – I have hated that bastard Lee Tang Han for a long time! However, since I was investigating him, I had to kiss his ass almost every day! Wouldn’t you be pissed off? Because I would!”

“Shui, I thought you said…”

“Bah, it’s not the same!” Bai Kai waved his hand to interrupt. “Yes, I did say that you shouldn’t date bad girls, but I never said that you couldn’t be a bad girl! Bad girls are good too, you know – even if they’re out alone on the streets, nobody would harass them!”

Yes! I have double standards! But what kind of parent would I be if I don’t favor my children?

Plus! The Lee family aren’t good people to begin with! I have reason to believe that they jumped on Bei first! Bai Kai thought to himself.

Thinking for a while, Bai Kai said, “Bei, I’ll relent. If that girl is willing to jump into danger to help you, she must be very kind. You must treat her well in the future.”

“Shui,” Yibei sighed. “I told you, I don’t have that kind of relationship with her. Can’t there be genuine, platonic friendship between a guy and a girl?”

“Ah, Bei, young as ever,” Bai Kai patted him on the shoulder. “The ‘platonic friendship’ thing you mentioned is way too rare to ever happen. It could happen, yes, a girl in a platonic relationship with her male friend, but as soon as either of them start thinking of impure thoughts, it’s over.”

As he spoke, Bai Kai’s eyes shifted towards the endless night sky, as if he was trying to say, “I’ve been there before.”

Yibei wasn’t sure what to reply with, but Bai Kai took out a small box from his pocket and stuffed it into her hand.

“Here. Just in case,” Bai Kai said. “Don’t worry about Tang Han for now, I have a way to deal with him. He shouldn’t be able to track you down for the time being.”

“What’s this?”

“Birth control.”

“Birth what now?”

She muttered as she studied the box. Realizing what the box is, she was about to raise her head and say something to Bai Kai, before a string of premonitions flashed through her mind.

[He’s out.], followed by her pupils contracting.

Earlier, while tracking them down, Bai Kai was hiding his psychic powers. However, he had no need to hide them anymore, and used his power of speed to leave the forest.

All that was left of him was a trail of silver outlining his previous position.

He’s quick! Is this Shui’s ability? I kinda want it!

He was so quick that her premonitions could barely even catch up with his speed. Being able to move fast is a skill, and Yibei is very, very greedy.

At the same time, a sense of danger quietly rose in her heart.

In the Southern Suburbs Slaughterhouse, she relied on her premonitions to kill that urban legend, which subconsciously allowed her to let her guard down. She felt that, even if her opponents were slightly stronger than her, she could rely on her premonitions to carry her through the fight.

However, seeing Bai Kai zip away before her premonition could even catch up made her realize that her ability was far from enough.

One day, she might encounter somebody as fast as him. Even if she could predict their movements, she wouldn’t be able to react in time.

I need to solve this weakness of mine. I need to become stronger, or learn some spells, or get some psychic items…

Maybe, I can use that foggy man’s incantation…

Earlier, she had roughly memorized the spell he recited. If she could find the time to learn some Thai, she might be able to channel its usage.

…

Jiangli sat on a rock by the river for an uncomfortable amount of time before Bai Kai left.

Seeing Yibei return to her, she raised her head and asked, “What did you tell him?”

“I told him you were a bad guy and that you should be arrested for your crimes.”

“…”

Jiangli was silent, and stared at the Witch with a pair of cold eyes, waiting for her to tell her the truth.

“Okay! Geez…” the Witch shrugged. “He told me that the club is needing manpower, so he’s going back to work when he’s done, and I told him that I’m a good man now, so I’m not going to sell myself out anymore, so I’m not going back. That’s about it.”

“I see.”

Jiangli seemed satisfied with her answer, feeling a weight being lifted off her shoulders.

Huacheng’s Night Division was like a university – it looks carefree on the outside, but protocols are kept tight inside. Although Bai Kai seemed carefree, she felt that if he knew what she was up to now, even if she weren’t punished for it, it would probably cause a lot of trouble.

Thank God Yibei helped me out…

Thinking of this, her heart warmed up to the Witch slightly. No, that’s Vaccaria, not Yibei. Unless she decides to admit it to me one day.

Thinking about it, she glanced at the guitar bag and broken sword on the ground, then glanced back to the Witch, “By the way, what are you going to do with these things?”

“Ah, about that…” she squatted down, picking up the broken sword to inspect it. “Could you go back first? I want to handle this myself. And don’t you worry! I’ll find a place where there’s nobody around to test these things! I won’t cause harm to anyone, promise!”

Well, I want to study the ancient sword first.

When she awoke in her lucid state, she could vaguely hear a warning coming from the sword.

“Thief! Don’t touch me!”

How could she control herself? She felt that it was necessary to find a place where no one was around to perform [Person Getting Up Early In The Morning to Discipline Her Sword].

TRANSLATOR NOTES:

Okay, slight oopsie from previous chapter – turns out Witchbei didn’t actually transform back to Boybei near the end of the chapter. It was just Jiangli trying to fool Witchbei into admitting that she’s Yibei and not Vaccaria – she didn’t fool Yibei, but she did end up fooling me. Fixed!

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