I Want to Slack Off at the Demon Bureau

Chapter 40

In the corridor, Liu Xia stealthily approached the door, taking out the key card he had stolen from the hotel, and swiped open the room door with a beep.

The room was pitch black, with only faint light from the window illuminating the dragon bone umbrella on the long couch. The paper umbrella had flowing lines, its handle like blackened bone joints. The rain from earlier had been wiped clean, and it lay there silently.

Occasional sounds came from next door, seemingly from a TV program.

Liu Xia gently closed the door and tiptoed inside. Passing by the bed, he noticed the pillows and bedding were unusually neat, with no personal items near the cabinet - it looked like an unoccupied room.

Only a dragon bone umbrella lay on the long couch by the tea table, looking out of place and eerie, especially with the burn marks on its surface.

Liu Xia stood by the couch, about to reach for the umbrella. His fingertips nearly touched it before he hesitantly withdrew his hand.

The not-yet-humanized spirit, seeing his hesitation when he was just one step away from success, urged anxiously: [If we don't hurry, he'll be back soon, and we need time to leave the hotel.]

"But how will I get out later?" Liu Xia worried, "Getting caught would be serious - there must be security cameras."

[If I can forge ginseng, can't I forge other things? To be honest, once I get the umbrella, I can truly become human, get my own name, and my abilities will be stronger than now. Your fortunes will change too.]

"Are you sure we can escape smoothly?"

[Of course, since I left the temple with you, when have I ever lied to you?]

"That's true."

Liu Xia had formed a connection with the not-yet-humanized spirit at an old, dilapidated temple. Back then, his business ventures had repeatedly failed, and in frustration, he had wandered into the mountains. By chance, he discovered the poorly maintained temple and, hoping to change his luck, casually paid his respects before it. The spirit in the temple heard his wish and proposed an agreement - one would help make money with fake ginseng, while the other would help collect spiritual energy.

At first, Liu Xia thought the ancient temple was the spirit's home, but later learned it was built by ancestors for a deity, and the spirit had only managed to communicate with him through the residual spiritual energy there. After forming this connection, he indeed made considerable money, not only paying off his previous losses but becoming a person of status. However, for some unknown reason, his body grew increasingly thin, and his features became sharp and monkey-like.

He had gone to the hospital for checkups, but while his health showed no problems, he often felt mentally scattered and occasionally weak. Sometimes he suspected the spirit was draining his energy, but the normal medical reports dispelled such doubts.

The spirit said its incomplete human form was why it occasionally affected Liu Xia, and once it could fully transform into human form, everything would be resolved.

If that was the case, perhaps getting the umbrella would solve his physical problems too.

Liu Xia moved closer to the dragon bone umbrella, suddenly noticing that the deep black handle shared similar characteristics with the temple's design. The temple had weathered dragon carvings with sharp, fierce claws and teeth, their joints protruding when tensed, just like the umbrella handle.

He didn't dwell on these similarities and grabbed the umbrella's handle. The next second, a searing pain spread from his right hand throughout his body, followed by wailing sounds and crackling burning noises.

[Ah—]

A blue-black flame ignited from the handle, rapidly spreading to Liu Xia's body. However, it didn't burn his body or clothes, instead incinerating the spirit attached to him into nothingness!

After its scream, the not-yet-humanized spirit fell silent.

Liu Xia had no chance to ask questions before overwhelming pain knocked him down, causing him to crash to his knees.

His face turned pale, covered in cold sweat, feeling as if his chest was being violently stirred, like falling into a thorny abyss with his very soul being torn apart. His ears filled with countless sounds - children crying, ambulance sirens, relatives wailing at graves - nearly making his head explode.

The door behind him beeped, but Liu Xia, convulsing on his knees, was too overcome with pain to look back.

"Painful, isn't it?" Xin Yunmao saw the kneeling man as he pushed open the door. He carefully closed it behind him, his voice cold as winter wind. "These are the five poisons you once released, the pain you inflicted on others, now returning to you."

"Since these are the pains you once gave to others, surely you can endure them now?"

He hadn't done anything to Liu Xia or the spirit - the dragon bone umbrella had already returned everything. This umbrella was made from dragon bone and bamboo, its handle from the severed hand of a black dragon, its surface from thin paper made of bamboo leaves and stalks.

The dragon bone umbrella, crafted from the bodies of two deities, was undoubtedly a divine artifact, but no demon dared covet it - or rather, those who had coveted it were no longer alive.

Xin Yunmao had never needed to act against them; the dragon bone umbrella had its own extraordinary effects. Any impure demon who touched it would be consumed by an eternal demon fire; any human tainted with the five poisons who touched it would be tortured doubly by their own released poisons.

Only deities could use divine artifacts; otherwise, it was asking for trouble.

Xin Yunmao picked up the dragon bone umbrella from the couch, easily closing it with a lift of his hand, and said coldly, "Still not humanized, no wonder you didn't know about me."

Other demons all knew the umbrella's effects and generally wouldn't court disaster - this was purely self-destructive behavior.

Xin Yunmao usually kept the umbrella properly stored, being careful not to touch others when using it. When sheltering from rain, he would hold it rather than Chu Zhishui, and in the tea garden, he would throw it in the air, otherwise the three demons - yellow, black, and white - would have been gone long ago.

Sometimes he felt he was like the dragon bone umbrella - fine just staying quietly in one place. If someone caused trouble, their malice would be reflected back.

Because he could see the five poisons and eight sufferings, he was completely indifferent to many things, like an observer lingering outside the world, watching demons and humans trouble themselves and weave their own cocoons of suffering. Their pain was self-inflicted, having nothing to do with him, so he didn't care what other demons thought of him.

He had indeed achieved godhood, but he didn't consider himself to possess divinity, never having any grand ambitions to guide or save anyone.

Soon after, hotel staff received Chu Zhishui's notification and hurriedly arrived at Xin Yunmao's room, indeed finding Liu Xia who had broken in.

"Sir..." The hotel security wanted to remove Liu Xia but, seeing him kneeling and covered in sweat, hesitated to touch him and instead commanded sternly, "You'll need to come with us. Breaking into others' hotel rooms is illegal!"

Chu Zhishui, wearing thin pajamas, poked her head out from the neighboring door and suggested, "Get a doctor here, then let the police handle it."

Liu Xia was currently in poor mental state, possibly affected by the spirit, looking as if he had suddenly fallen ill in the room.

"Yes, yes, we've already called the police. Sorry to disturb your rest!"

Xin Yunmao held her door handle, and seeing her in pajamas, moved to close her door, frowning as he said, "Go inside."

Chu Zhishui noticed the door about to close and quickly pushed it open slightly: "I want to see how they handle this, we might need to cooperate with the police."

Although breaking into the room was Liu Xia's fault, they were innocently involved and might need to go through some procedures, and the bamboo spirit wasn't familiar with such things.

Xin Yunmao didn't force the door closed, afraid of pushing her over, but his tall frame completely blocked her view as he firmly repeated: "Go inside."

"What about you if I go in?" Chu Zhishui asked in surprise, "The police might come to ask questions soon."

"Then let them ask."

"But you don't know how to handle these things..."

"I do." Xin Yunmao replied somewhat defiantly, his expression suddenly turning serious as he said, "Go inside."

"..." Seeing him about to get upset again, Chu Zhishui quickly said, "Alright, alright, you can handle it, you can handle everything, I'm going in."

She thought the police would knock on her door anyway, so she didn't argue further and obediently closed the door.

Only then was Xin Yunmao satisfied.

Surprisingly, neither Xin Yunmao nor the police knocked on her door that night, and she didn't know how they had handled Liu Xia's case.

The next day, when the human and spirit met Boss Peng in the hotel restaurant, they finally heard the aftermath, which had already spread throughout the ginseng trading circle.

Liu Xia was taken away by doctors and police. While his physical condition was fine, his mental state was terrible. His unauthorized entry into Xin Yunmao's room was illegal, and during the investigation of how he stole the hotel key card, numerous pieces of evidence of his counterfeit ginseng business were uncovered, including the fake "Ginseng King" at the auction - all cases of selling inferior products as premium ones.

Liu Xia's phone contained no information about quality ginseng; he had been collecting low-grade ginseng from various sources and processing it through unknown means to deceive people.

"I heard many of his previous customers are furious and want to confront him with their purchases," Boss Peng sighed. "This business requires integrity. Selling fake ginseng is a criminal offense - he probably won't be getting out anytime soon."

"Fortunately, we switched to your ginseng for the auction at the last minute. Otherwise, this could have been disastrous - the event might not have survived another year!"

A scandal involving the Danshan Auction's "Ginseng King" could have destroyed Danshan's ginseng reputation and severely impacted local merchants.

Thankfully, everything turned out well. The Observation Bureau received the money from the auctioned "Ginseng King," and the Danshan Auction was preparing to sue Liu Xia.

After everything settled, Chu Zhishui and Xin Yunmao took time to tour the Danshan scenic area before heading back.

The autumn weather was crisp and clear. While tourists crowded the entrance, the mountain paths were less congested as many lacked the energy to climb so high. Chu Zhishui and Xin Yunmao, embracing the "since we're here" mindset, followed the mountain path upward, hoping to view the scenery from the summit.

Her stamina was decent, but nowhere near Xin Yunmao's composed state. He kept glancing at her after each section of the climb, his face practically screaming "let's see when you'll collapse from exhaustion," though his actual expectations remained unclear.

Spurred by his expression, Chu Zhishui surprisingly made it to the summit in one go, allowing her to gaze at the colorful forest from the railing.

"The weather really is perfect today, not a cloud in sight," Chu Zhishui observed while looking into the distance. Admiring the azure sky, she felt refreshed and remarked, "Just as you said."

"Hmph." Xin Yunmao seemed quite pleased with himself. He stood beside her with one hand in his pocket, accompanying her as they gazed at the vast forest sea.

The cool-toned sky and warm-colored forest created a stunning natural vista. Light yellow, golden yellow, bright red, deep red, light brown, dark brown, tender green, and deep green - countless colors interwoven together as autumn dressed Danshan in a brilliant, colorful coat. Thin rivers cut through the mountains and forests like nature's blood vessels and pulse.

Standing high in the mountains, the human and the spirit felt invigorated with each breath of the oxygen-rich air.

"I heard Danshan is beautiful in winter too, with rime ice formations," Chu Zhishui suddenly remembered something and asked, "But since you can teleport, couldn't you come see it anytime?"

"There are limitations," Xin Yunmao admitted frankly. "I can't go just anywhere."

"Limitations?"

"Yes, I can only go to places where there are bamboo plants, or where there are medium objects, and in most cases, these two conditions won't fail."

During their first trip together to compensate for the vegetable field, there had been bamboo planted beside the vegetable plots, which was why Xin Yunmao could suddenly appear. Later, when Chu Zhishui carried the pendant, he could move directly to her side.

Xin Yunmao pointed to the pendant Chu Zhishui wore and added, "Of course, for special situations, there's one most reliable method."

Chu Zhishui blinked: "What is it?"

"Call my name." He looked straight at her, his tone softening, "Names are the unique identifiers given to us by heaven and earth. As long as you truly want to see me, I'll definitely hear it - it's a foolproof method."

Spirits' names possess power, and other spirits don't often hear their own names, frequently finding themselves too busy to handle all the calls. But few people dare to call his name, and if it were her calling, he would definitely appear.

Chu Zhishui was slightly startled, suddenly moved by his gentle tone. Even the simple three characters "Xin Yunmao" seemed to take on a different meaning at this moment, allowing her to experience the shock he felt when hearing heaven and earth call out during his transformation into human form. After a long wait for consciousness to dawn, he finally saw through the clouds to the moon, experiencing a complete metamorphosis in that single call.

This should be every spirit's most precious treasure, and even Jin Yu often emphasized the importance of names.

Chu Zhishui asked curiously, "Could you come to Danshan before?"

Xin Yunmao: "No."

There was no bamboo in the Danshan scenic area, but this time he could casually leave some, essentially opening a new teleportation point.

"Not bad, then this wasn't a wasted trip, worth climbing all the way up here," Chu Zhishui chuckled. "We can come back to see the snow next time."

Xin Yunmao lowered his eyes and said softly, "Mm."

She loved making appointments and promises, and she never broke her word.

Whether it was saying she'd treat him to a meal, take him for a drive, or ride an airplane, whatever she said, she would eventually make it happen. Slow and steady, quietly achieving goals while nurturing everything along the way - this was almost the main thread running through her life.

He had witnessed this many times with her - whether it was that fish, or Chen Zhuhui, or her former colleagues and Boss Peng, other spirits in the Observation Bureau... basically everyone had been influenced by her unique quality, including himself.

Xin Yunmao actually didn't like snow; it would erode the bamboo leaf surface, forcing them to wither and be replaced by new leaves, otherwise the bamboo would suffer. But when she mentioned seeing the snow next time, what was once annoying suddenly sparked new anticipation, as if everything had changed.

He didn't know what this change was, but he felt it must be for the better. After experiencing uninteresting lonely times, he finally felt genuinely happy.

Just then, a young couple by the railing hesitantly approached, with the girl holding her phone and asking, "Excuse me, could you help us take a photo?"

"Sure," Chu Zhishui smiled and took the phone. "Where would you like to take it?"

"Standing here is fine, we'd like to capture the scenery behind."

Chu Zhishui did as asked, taking several photos of the cuddling couple while capturing the beautiful forest sea in the background.

"How do these look?" Chu Zhishui returned the phone. "We can take more if you'd like."

"Thank you, these are great," the girl checked the photos, and noticing Xin Yunmao nearby, she offered, "Let me take one for you two as well!"

Chu Zhishui was startled: "Ah..."

"Since you're here, let's take a couple," the girl encouraged. "Just for memory's sake. I'm quite good at taking photos!"

"...Alright."

Chu Zhishui and Xin Yunmao stood by the railing. Neither had expected an enthusiastic stranger to suggest taking their photo together, and they stood stiffly side by side, feeling somewhat awkward.

"Stand a bit closer together, you're too far apart," the girl was quite serious about her direction, changing positions several times, bending down one moment and crouching the next. She said, "Relax a bit, smile, you can even put your arms around each other."

"No, no, no..."

Chu Zhishui thought to herself that the other party had misunderstood their relationship, and hearing this made it even harder for her to smile.

Finally, Xin Yunmao stepped slightly back, leaning one hand on the railing without actually touching Chu Zhishui, merely placing it behind her, using perspective to complete the photo. Although they weren't actually touching each other, in the picture it looked as if she was leaning against his embrace.

"The photos turned out great," the girl checked them and nodded with satisfaction, apparently a meticulous master of selfies and photography.

Chu Zhishui thanked the young couple before taking back her phone. She was also stunned when she saw the photos, not expecting the perspective to create such an effect. She felt the situation had become even more difficult to explain.

Xin Yunmao also leaned in to look, and seeing himself appearing to embrace her in the photo, his eyelashes trembled slightly, his thoughts unclear.

Seeing him lost in thought looking at the photo, Chu Zhishui asked, "Is this your first time having your photo taken?"

"Yes."

Hearing this, Chu Zhishui sighed, suddenly no longer minding, and smiled, "Then it's definitely worth remembering."

Since no one else would see it anyway, the photo was fine as it was.

After a moment of silence, Xin Yunmao spoke up: "I want this."

"The photo?" Chu Zhishui thought about how he didn't use a phone and couldn't receive it immediately, so she suggested, "I'll have it printed for you when we get back. Would you like to take photos at other spots? I can take more for you."

She didn't usually like taking photos at tourist spots, but had almost forgotten this was his first trip - he might be interested in photography.

Xin Yunmao shook his head: "No need, one is enough."

The day trip to Danshan soon came to an end.

After returning to the hotel, Chu Zhishui went straight downstairs to develop the photos and had them placed in protective sleeves. The front was covered with transparent protective film, while the back had a sturdy support board, making the photos look like instant Polaroids.

She hesitated for a moment before writing the location and date on the back of the board. She contemplated whether to sign her name. Though the bamboo spirit's memory might be better than Jin Yu's, who knows what might happen after several hundred years? Better to leave a small reminder, she thought, and finally just wrote the character "Shui."

When Xin Yunmao received the photo, though his expression remained neutral, he was clearly quite pleased. He kept looking at it repeatedly, alternating between the group photo on the front and the writing on the back, before his slender fingers deftly made it disappear somewhere unknown.

On their return journey, the human and spirit took a plane back to Huaijiang City, carrying both the enormous proceeds from the ginseng auction and the joy from their Danshan trip.

In the new week at the Huaijiang Observation Bureau, Chu Zhishui clearly felt how the Danshan trip had changed her life.

Old Bai was particularly proud that the wild ginseng had been crowned "King of Ginseng." He no longer went by Old Bai, practically wanting to call himself the Ginseng King, as if he himself were the highly-priced ginseng.

Meanwhile, the company account had gained a substantial sum. Even after deducting taxes and commission from the 1.8 million, there was still plenty left. Chu Zhishui wasn't sure how the finance department would handle the accounting, but it was clear they couldn't distribute performance bonuses this year. With over twenty staff members, plus the ongoing income from the sugar and nourishing paste, distributing this money would risk violating regulations.

However, letting the money sit in the account seemed wasteful, and who knows what might happen if they saved it until next year.

Following the Yinhai Observation Bureau's approach, using the money for bureau construction seemed the most prudent solution.

In the cafeteria, while Chu Zhishui and Jin Yu were eating, a familiar figure approached their table. With small black-bean eyes and a round belly, it was Wu Changgong.

"Director Chu, how's work lately? Is it tough?" Wu Changgong sat down with his tray, greeting her warmly as if there had never been any misunderstanding between them, leaving Jin Yu jaw-dropped.

"It's fine. How about you, Director Wu?" Chu Zhishui replied calmly, equally puzzled by Wu Changgong's intentions.

"Not tough at all! The logistics department is just small potatoes compared to your hard work, Director Chu!" After his flattery, Wu Changgong feigned difficulty and conceded, "We had some minor misunderstandings before. It was all just work stress, and I was definitely in the wrong. I've been wanting to apologize but only found the chance now."

Jin Yu was even more shocked by these words, forgetting to continue eating.

"It's nothing, I barely remember it," Chu Zhishui smiled. "I just remember having quite a good time in the logistics department."

After all, she hadn't suffered much in the logistics department, and whatever troubles Wu Changgong had afterward weren't her concern.

Hearing this, Wu Changgong's face lit up with joy: "That's great, that's great! I heard you just made a big deal in Danshan?"

"It wasn't my deal, it was all bureau work."

"Have you decided how to use the money?" Wu Changgong finally got to the point, suggesting tactfully, "Actually, I came from Qi Wu, and I've never quite adjusted to this place. I always feel like something's missing in the bureau..."

Jin Yu asked puzzled: "What's missing?"

"A beach and the sea!" Wu Changgong exclaimed. "Our bureau has mountains and rivers, but no beach or ocean."

Chu Zhishui found this absurd: "Is that really important?"

"Of course it's important! How can a sea crab live without a beach? Now that the bureau has money, we can totally build our own beach to make up for this long-standing deficiency!"

"..." Chu Zhishui flatly refused, "No, Director Wu, the bureau has many deficiencies, but we can't address the ocean issue right now."

She sighed inwardly that Wu Changgong was truly a sea crab, with his head full of seawater. What observation bureau would ever fill in land to create a sea? Besides, what made him worthy of having them spend money to build him an ocean? Was he some expensive king crab or something?

However, Wu Changgong's attitude revealed something important: the spirits in the bureau all had their own needs, and after learning about the funds from the finance department, they had all started making plans for the money.

Niu Shi wanted to improve the cafeteria, Miao Li suggested building a new building for the observation department, Hong Ximing subtly hinted that the bureau needed an activity center - everyone had their own ideas. Chu Zhishui had been avoiding leaving the economic development department lately, taking detours to avoid other spirits for fear of encountering more hints or direct requests.

In her office, struggling with how to spend the funds, Chu Zhishui casually asked: "Jin Yu, what do you think the bureau lacks?"

Installing an elevator in the office building wouldn't cost much, leaving money for other projects.

"If it were up to me, probably dormitories," Jin Yu pondered before saying helplessly. "Mainly because it's so far to get home, and in winter it gets really cold, which is unbearable for my commute."

Aliali: 673ebb12c4f3f33ac4eea08c"How do you get home?" Chu Zhishui asked in surprise. "Come to think of it, where do you live?"

"I rent a room in a nearby village, and after work I usually swim home along the river in my original form so people won't notice me," Jin Yu tilted her head. "But winter's coming soon, and once the river freezes it won't be convenient."

Jin Yu actually didn't like reverting to her original form, but had no choice when wanting to get home quickly.

"???"

Chu Zhishui was shocked: "This is how you've been commuting all along!?"

She had wondered why she never saw spirits driving cars or riding bikes - was this how they all commuted?

Jin Yu said softly: "Yeah, spring and autumn are actually okay, the temperature is more suitable, but it gets really crowded on the way. If you run into a school of fish, you keep bumping into them the whole way, and by the time I get home I'm too exhausted to move..."

"In winter it's not as crowded, but getting up early for work is so cold. Sometimes I question and despair about life - why do I have to endure this kind of lifestyle to work at the bureau?" Jin Yu scratched her head.

"Say no more, say no more, let's build the dormitories!" Chu Zhishui shook her head repeatedly, making an immediate decision. She sighed, "Please stop describing the subway commute of a fish office worker, it breaks my heart."

Jin Yu: "?"

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