I Will Live As An Actor

Chapter 6

Elation, shock, and dj vu

What words can describe the boys acting?

Yoo Myeonghan felt dizzy and trapped, unable to move, as the boys performance boasted an irresistible attraction that captivated everyone watching. Choi Eunsuk was no exception. She wore a mesmerized expression as if she had transformed into a butterfly in a dream.

Writer Choi.

The brief statement poured cold water on the silence.

Did you intentionally choose that scene?

Yes, I never imagined he would memorize everything in such a short time. I wondered how he would handle a scene requiring emotional shifts since he seemed quite confident. Honestly, I didnt expect much, but

Wow, hes a true gem, a real gem

The lingering doubts were natural. The boy they encountered at Namhang Market epitomized a filial son. Exploiting this fact, they chose a scene where he had to display a reprehensible attitude toward his mother. They wondered if a beginner could portray such an act he had never committed. Yet still

Did you see his facial expression earlier?

Yes, it was spine-chilling. My hair stood on end.

Unbelievable. I never imagined I would regret not bringing a camera this much. He performed with his expressions as if they were broken down frame by frame, like in the theater. And thats something only highly trained actors usually do.

It wasnt wrong. The boys facial acting made Yoo Myeonghans jaw drop. In the blink of an eye, numerous expressions changed as if cut frame by frame. Hollywood legend D.W. Griffith once said that the true acting of an actor in a close-up shot was not exaggerated gestures, but subtle emotions conveyed in extreme detail.

If Griffith had witnessed the boys script reading, he might have jumped out of his seat and applauded.

It felt as if Yeongguk was projecting his subject onto the camera, treating my gaze like a camera lens. He even adjusted the distance and changed his vocalization and voice tone.

Youre kidding.

It wasnt just one spine-chilling event.

At first, I thought it was a coincidence, so I intentionally shifted my posture, leaned my chin, and he adjusted his performance to follow my gaze each time. Didnt you feel it, Writer Choi? Im talking about those subtle changes in his acting.

An actor overwhelmed by their counterparts performance cannot feel anything else, only the illusion of being strangled. At that moment, the boy truly became Kim Hajin, so Choi Eunsuk could not notice it. If she possessed the keen eye to recognize all the changes in the boy, she should have been a director or an actor instead of a writer. Regardless, Choi Eunsuks mind was utterly preoccupied elsewhere.

The script said so, thats why.

She couldnt forget his calm voice. It felt like she had discovered her muse, like an alarm ringing. Yoo Myeongham still seemed to be in shock, wiping his dry lips with a solemn expression.

Ive only seen one person act like that in my life.

Who?

An actor captivated and trapped within the script, capable of showing more. Was it acting born out of effort, or was he a born genius? What would his place be in the world of acting? Yoo Myeonghan experienced a spine-chilling dj vu, reminiscent of witnessing a great actors script reading long ago. At the same time, Choi Eunsuk felt as if she was being tested as a writer. Eventually, their gazes converged on an empty space.

* * *

The summer sea was a continuous ensemble. The cries of seagulls, the horns of fishing boats bouncing along the shore, and the rhythm of auctioneers at the live fish market. It evoked the successive hymns of Sarasates Carmen Fantasy. Moreover, the vitality of fish thrashing in the red tub expressed sensuality and liveliness, indeed a scene of life!

Son, you dont have to follow me around since dawn.

Im not sleepy. And how can you move all of this by yourself with just a cart?

Although young, he was still a boy. Sweat-like morning dew formed on the forehead of the boy who led the cart. His mother felt both pity and gratitude. However, the boy felt even more sorry and affectionate, knowing that this was all he could do for his mother. It was when the fish stalls were lined up in the labyrinth-like alleys of Namhang Market.

Huh?

After laying fresh live fish on the fish stall, the boy spotted a familiar face among the Busan women and widened his eyes. Wiping his eyes with his sleeve, he confirmed the persons identity.

Mom, we still have some time before we start selling. Ill just go somewhere quickly.

Watching her son dart away, his mother nodded with satisfaction. Indeed, summer vacation was when children went crazy and couldnt stay put. If he were like others his age, he would have left Namhang Market and been playing with friends at the playground. While her son made her work more manageable, her guilt only grew. His sudden departure actually brought relief to his mother.

Excuse me.

The boy approached the figure lurking in Namhang Market. Messy hair, an unkempt beard. His eyes looked somewhat lazy but shone like jewels embedded in his face.

Youre the actor who played Dojeong in Days of Theatrical Joy, right?

Kid, you know me?

Of course, Im a huge fan of Song Jeongseok.

Was it because he had met someone he knew in a previous life? The boy impulsively sprang forward. Actor Song Jeongseok was a household name in Korea twenty years later.

An actor who leaped from theater to sweep through dramas and films. Of course, he worked on so many productions that it was impossible to know every film and drama he appeared in from his early supporting roles. Yet, he was the actor the boy admired the most in his past life. A well-known actor who consistently held a position among the top five actors in Korea. Buddhism said there were no coincidences in meetings.

Really?

In contrast, Song Jeongseok felt bewildered. After all, he was still an unknown actor, even in the theater world. Moreover, Days of Theatrical Joy was performed in Seouls theater district. And lastly, Dojeong was a character that hardly appeared in the play.

Im serious.

However, the boys eyes were not lying. On the contrary, they were burning with passion, as if he had met someone he greatly admired.

Thank you, thank you so much. I never imagined Id meet my first fan so far away. Actually, I was cast in a minor role in a drama set in Busan. Thats why I came down here, wanting to learn the dialect. But on the first day, I was pickpocketed. I dont even have a proper place to sleep, and my ticket back to Seoul was stolen. Im such a fool, right?

Pickpocket? What about the police station?

They said they couldnt find the culprit. Sigh.

A look of injustice was apparent around Song Jeongseoks eyes. It felt like he was Robinson Crusoe, alone on a deserted island without any acquaintances. He didnt even have an agency, and the notebook containing the casting directors number who had cast him was stolen.

The boy quickly understood his situation. Nowadays, pickpocketing is rampant, especially during the peak season, and there were no proper CCTV installations in that era. Song Jeongseoks appearance and attire made him look homeless, and people might have assumed he was lying.

You said you came here to learn the dialect, right?

Yes?

Then lets learn it today. Follow me.

The boy showed unexpected kindness to Song Jeongseok. In his past life, Song Jeongseok was the only one who advised and taught him acting when he jumped from theater to dramas and films. The senior actor who had treated him to a warm bowl of rice soup and a glass of soju he still couldnt forget that favor.

Yeongguk, are you suspicious about why Im helping you?

The elderly actors eyes reddened as the soju glass clinked down.

I also jumped from theater to drama when I was your age. At that time, there was no one to help me. It was so hard and lonely. So, dont just pass them by when you meet someone like you later. Help them out. A glass of soju, its no big deal.

At those words, the young actors eyes also reddened.

The elderly actor, who saw his past self in the thirty-year-old boy, marveled at the strange workings of fate. The connection the adult boy had made now reached the young boy. It was time to repay the debt he owed. Pursuing a life without regrets was a relationship that had to be crossed, just like a fisherman catching a big fish by destiny.

Yeongguk, who is this person?

Startled, she looked back and forth between her son and Song Jeongseok. The boy had hooked the noble man he had met in his previous life.

Hes helping us out today.

* * *

Oh my, this is exhausting.

Song Jeongseok felt as if he had been beaten all over. Selling fish at Namhang Market was not an easy job. But what he gained was certain: the native pronunciation of the dialect, the unique intonation, and the accent of the Busan people. Although they spoke the same language, their breathing, rhythm, and the way their lips and tongue moved were different.

This is truly amazing.

Song Jeongseok looked at the boy who had put him to work today. At first, he thought the boy was just peculiar. But in Namhang Market, the boy was a bold leader, and if it were a play, he would have been a brilliant actor capable of dominating the entire proscenium stage.

Whenever the boy acted and moved his lips, all the people at Namhang Market became tourists and focused on him. Despite the pressure, the boys shoulders were as light as feathers, and his gestures were lively. Perhaps the innate talent of an actor lies in the ability to draw such attention, just like the boy.

There isnt much prepared for our guest.

No, this is a feast.

Song Jeongseok brushed off the mothers apology. The dinner table had enough food for the two of them. If anything, he felt sorry for intruding. The yellowed wallpaper, aged like autumn leaves, and mold spots around the room pained his heart. But on the boys face, there was no shame or sadness, as if he had read Song Jeongseoks thoughts. Only pure happiness filled his expression.

Is it okay for you to sleep in the kitchen tonight? Ill prepare the softest bedding. Its the first train in the morning, but you should still rest a bit.

As long as I have a place to lay down, Im grateful. But Youngkook, we have quite an age gap, so shouldnt you call me uncle instead of hyung?

Hyung, have you ever seen me call an elderly woman at the market auntie?

Fine, Yeongguk, I admit your determination. But Im not sure if its okay for me to stay here with your mom around. I feel so sorry for both of you, and I dont know how to repay this debt when I return to Seoul. I feel like I owe you so much.

Whats the big deal about debt? Just help someone like you later on. A warm bed and a bowl of rice, its nothing.

It was impossible to argue with the boy. Yet, he wasnt annoying. How could he not know that he was trying to make Song Jeongseok feel at ease, worried that he might feel burdened? Song Jeongseok swallowed the tears that welled in his eyes and shoved a mouthful of white rice into his mouth. The young actor had a hunch. The delicious feast would become the foundation for his future acting career.

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