Chapter 130
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She hoped it wouldn’t be seen mixed in with the water droplets falling from her hair, but Selin couldn't trick the red eyes.
Kalcion cupped his hand around her wet cheek and asked softly once more.
“This is love, right?”
Instead of nodding, the tears fell once more, and he smiled deeply.
“I love you.”
“….”
“I love you.”
Aahh.
she realized
The heart she wished she would rather not know until she returned to her original world. She had hoped that it would be a momentary good memory, like a passing season, until she died. She figured it out… what was love.
Selina shook her head and lowered her head.
This person threw his mind as accurately and straight as the sword he wielded. His heart, so firm and clear that she didn't even dare to strike back, hit her whole body with so much force that it hurt.
“I love you to the point where I'm not myself, to the point where I'm going crazy.”
Drop by drop, the tears that had dripped down like raindrops burst out like a shower.
“…How could you love me?”
Selina sobbed.
“I have to go back. Why did you love me when you knew I was someone who would return someday? You shouldn't have.”
“It was force majeure.”
A lot of people said the mind was not going the way she thought. She would laugh at them when she heard that. It was because she thought it was their will was weak. Nonetheless, she herself was foolish for saying so.
…Her heart didn’t work out by will. The mind that can be controlled by will was just a mind that was not that big.
“I can't answer the Duke's feelings.”
“That’s okay.”
“…That’s not okay.”
“It will be okay. Since I was able to capture you in my eyes like this, I will be able to live my whole life filled with this.”
She had never had a love like this before, and she had never been told that it was okay to send love like this.
However, Kalcion spoke with conviction, just like a prophecy.
He knew that if he showed hurt and struggled here, it would hold Selina's ankle. He didn't want her to sink with unrequited sympathy. On the contrary, he wanted her to shine brighter and more splendidly than anyone else, where she wanted to be and whom she wanted to be.
…So if she was happy, that was his happiness.
“You can leave without worrying about anything. If my heart gives me pain, it is entirely mine.”
“….”
“It’s my punishment for loving you at my will.”
He lusted after Selina but asked for nothing.
If Kalcion had asked for everything by saying that he loved her, she would have coldly refused. The heart, which was hot, could have cooled down in an instant. She didn’t know when a spark would flare up in her heated heart.
It was already hot to the limit.
Selina wept bitterly as if she was vomiting fire.
“Why are you crying so much?”
Kalcion opened his arms and offered his chest.
Selina has become unintentionally cruel. She didn't answer his feelings or reject him outright but allowed vague hopes, yet she was embraced by him.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Then, you just have to wait until you are sure what to do.”
Kalcion gave her a snappy answer with ambiguity.
He gave that answer, even knowing that he couldn't wait forever. It was something that made her cry more.
If she had been forced to do so, she would have hated it and been dragged away.
She hated a man who was too kind more than a bad man who was selfish. He made all the choices himself and even took responsibility for himself.
Knowing that it was the right thing and caring for himself, the mind steeped in and felt comfortable with the cowardly passing of responsibility. Still, it was something she couldn’t openly hate because she knows that it was a consideration that put her own happiness first.
Selina shed as many tears as her wandering heart.
“…Sorry."
“Why are you apologizing?”
“It's my fault that you're crying.”
“You are overly self-conscious.”
“Then, why are you crying?”
Neither did Selina speak, not wanting to hurt and burden him.
Should she choose Kalcion right now and stay? If she said she was crying because of the shaking, it’d hurt her inside when she chose to leave.
…She didn't want to
“Because it’s cold.”
So, she came up with an absurd excuse.
If this guy were stupidly stupid, he'd figure out what it meant after a while.
There was no cold wind in the Seindat Mountains, but the wild wind in the fields cooled as the sun went down. The wind, which had been blowing coolly from time to time, became as sharp as sharp needles as it touched her wet body.
She was in the cold water for a while. It was actually really cold. Every time the wind touched her body, she sprang up.
Kalcion tightened his arms around Selina's body. Even though he should be getting cold like her, too, because he was in the water, the warmth of his chest was the same. Thanks to the warmth that radiated from the close chest, her trembling shoulders gradually subsided.
“Shall we go?”
Selina nodded her head. Thanks to the coldness, her tears welled up.
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As he lifted her body and lifted her out of the water, the sound of his slithering steps out of the water was straight, without hesitation as if he proved that he was a person who would confidently go through any path.
“Even while doing this, the Crown Prince must be pursuing us, right?”
She had completely forgotten about the crown prince because they ran like crazy.
Perhaps she came to her senses after taking a bath. After a bout of crying, her reason came back as well.
“Now that it's like this, there's a higher chance that he’ll come under pressure for justification rather than launching an all-out war."
“For the crime of hurting the imperial family, for treason. The cause must be clear.”
“It would be perfect if he added Rosalyn’s murder to it.”
“Ah, that means…! The Crown Prince… there were a lot of scratch marks on the back of his hand. Oh, and Irell..”
As soon as a thought came to her mind, the things she had to tell Kalcion surged together.
“Wait. You don't have to tell me right now.”
“What? Ah… is it because it’s now clear that the Crown Prince is the culprit anyway?”
“That's true, and it's not too late to gather strategically necessary information later.”
“If you listen to it in advance, though.”
“In fact.”
Kalcion stopped her words. It was a rare thing since he never intercepted Selina’s words. Rather, he was the kind of person who only said a word when prompted to answer. Since his behavior was unusual, she quickly shut her mouth and waited for his next words.
Seeing that, Kalcion laughed before speaking. Even thinking about it himself, it seemed like a funny thing to say.
“I don’t care what happened to the others.”
Selina's lower lip dropped. That wasn't funny at all.
“People say that when people go crazy, they can only see one direction, and now it’s just like that.”
Kalcion couldn't stop laughing like a crazy person.
“I don’t want to hear anything that isn’t related to you. Now.”
“….”
It was cold enough to shiver, but in an instant, the hot heat returned.
Even as he threw a fireball into her heart, it was clear he didn't know what he was doing. The gesture of grabbing the towel and gown that had been put on her floor and putting it over her shoulder was calm.
“I will do it.”
“If you step down wet, your feet will get dirty.”
He placed her on his own feet instead of the land. Selina was still naked as she stepped on Kalcion’s heels in a close embrace.
Even if they couldn’t see face to face, it was more bare to feel the body. She held her breath, feeling her pulse at the waist that Kalcion hugged to keep her from falling off.
With his own hand, Kalcion wiped the water off Selina's body and tried to put on her gown. She was accustomed to other’s hands touching hers, but his touches were awkward and yet uniquely sincere, so it couldn't be as natural as she was usually served by the maids.
Because it was Kalcion.
His hand, which grabbed her wrist and pulled it under the sleeve, creaked, and Selina, who moved as he moved, creaked.
The two wooden dolls creaked in the moonlit night.
“Arms, this way.”
“Here? That's right. It’s not here?”
“I don't think it's that hole.”
Was it going to be this hard to wear a gown?
Still, Selina was laughing like an idiot.
It was as if it didn’t matter what the destination was as long as the way was enjoyable, even if it was a long way. She managed to slip the sleeves of the gown through her arms. However, it was impossible to close the front and tie the waist strap with their body attached together.
“I’ll hold you, so do it then.”
“Oh, wait a minute. On the count of three.”
“Are you ready?”
“Yes. One, two, three… okay.”
Kalcion lifted her up and embraced her while Selina quickly closed the front with her now free arm. They needed cooperation in everything.
It was not really a big deal though it felt good to be successful. Every time their face met, laughter leaked out like a straw peeking out of a pile. As the two moved, the escorts stationed around them also moved.
“…Ah.”
Selina, belatedly discovering that there were a lot of watching eyes, stiffened in white. It was the same with Kalcion.
The escort was like air. No matter where they went or what they did, they didn’t have to worry.
The escorts surrounding them were the female bodyguards who had always been attached to Selina because she came to take a bath. Since they were of the same gender, there was nothing embarrassing about showing her naked body, but she couldn't help but care about what she had just done.
Hugging, crying, rubbing while washing in the moonlit night…
Shame came upon her.
Dion, who was on the other side of the distance, spotted the two out of the water. He was unable to escort her because Selina had taken off her clothes.
He had an exhausted expression.
‘Are you done with that d*mn thing now?’
He bubbled with the desire to say that.
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