I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Translator/Editor: Ryuu

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

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Prophet II

Following Oh Dok-seo brought with it a minor problem.

No, it wasn't so minor. It caused a significant issue.

[Oh Dok-seo: Alright! Cleared the Tutorial!]

It wasn't a problem with Oh Dok-seo either.

She wasn't a bad novice, despite my modest assistance (of course, I'm just being humble here, it was hardly modest). Oh Dok-seo broke through the Busan Station Gate in just 48 hours.

For context, I first cleared Busan Station in my third run.

To put it differently, I had lived and died in Busan during my first and second runs. I could proudly say I was more of a Busan local than most, and if only my hometown weren't Seoul, I could've earned the "True Busan Man" badge.

Even on my third run, it took me a whole week to clear it. So for Oh Dok-seo to cut it down to 48 hours proved she had great potential.

[Oh Dok-seo: Even if the protagonist helped, I still finished this in two days? Oh Dok-seo, who are you? I can handle fashion, hip-hop, and slaying monsters, so is there anything I can't do? I’m starting to scare myself...]

Let's just let her youthful bravado slide.

By now, the Busan Station waiting area was a mysterious place.

It wasn't just teeming with talent, it was overflowing.

‘An unknown entity like Go Yuri with the potential to destroy the world, the enigmatic Seo Gyu with his community-managing skills, the trouble-seeking Sim Ah-ryeon, the MacGuffin Uehara Shino, me, the Undertaker who regresses infinitely, and now even Oh Dok-seo?’

It was truly fearsome.

A treasure trove of talent ripe for the taking.

The ancient city of Peixian from the Chu-Han Contention, where Liu Bang recruited farmers and Xiao He was sorting bureaucratic paperwork while Fan Kuai butchered pigs, wasn't worth envying. But I digress…

Anyway, Oh Dok-seo's adventure itself went smoothly.

But if it wasn't my problem or hers, it meant a third party intruder had intervened in this lighthearted party.

“......?”

This mysterious entity walked briskly, glancing back at me occasionally. Every time she did, she would tilt her head and smile sweetly.

I almost fell for her. If I hadn't learned that this entity would smile just like that even while destroying the world, I might have confessed my love to her like a true man.

This entity was Go Yuri.

‘I'm going crazy.’

The one who wielded the red flash.

If you tagged her, she'd fall under #brainwash, #cognitionmanipulation, #affectioncontrol, and #CthulhuMythos.

That's right. Go Yuri had also joined Oh Dok-seo's party. All of us were original members who started in the Busan Station waiting area, so this was bound to happen eventually.

In just one early-stage party, we had both a being who would make my life amusing and one who could utterly destroy it. Was this even possible? Of course it was— Busan Station waiting area, what a crazy starting point.

At that moment, pink hair fluttered right in front of me.

“Undertaker, right?”

My heart skipped a beat.

For reference, Go Yuri was still actively using [Perception Manipulation], [Affection Control], and [Impression Brainwashing]. All kinds of people had already gathered around her, vying for her favor.

But she pushed away all those sycophants and approached me directly.

A chill ran down my spine.

“ ...What do you want?”

One thing that was lucky for me was that I was playing the 'coolest regressor in the world.'

Keep up the poker face.

I tried to think of all the despair I felt as the world ended, the betrayal I felt when Old Man Scho ran off alone, and the sadness of losing Dang Seo-rin for the first time… anything that would help me summon negative emotions.

Thanks to that, my face was convincingly unpleasant. Unpleasant Level 5.

“Ah, no, it's nothing important.”

Go Yuri wasn't fazed.

“I was just curious about what kind of person you are. You were calm when people died and monsters appeared in the waiting area.”

She had been spying on me?

If my heart had sweat glands, I'd have been dripping with cold sweat. Like the martial arts saying to beware the elderly and children, my life motto was always to be wary of pink hair.

I decided to up my unpleasantness. Unpleasant Level 6.

“I'm not interested in you. So don't concern yourself with me.”

“Do you like Ceylon Tea? It's my favorite drink.”

“........”

This was underhanded.

Was this the power of [Perception Manipulation]?

She naturally tried to raise my affection level like it was nothing.

But I, the Undertaker, was no pushover. Honestly, my heart did skip a beat, but I interpreted that as a sign of a heart attack. In other words, I'd die if I let this slide.

No choice. Unpleasant Level 7!

“You're annoying. Get lost.”

“Heung.”

Heung? Hee-eung?

Did she just smile at me with her eyes?

“Do you realize that while talking to me, you've never even looked in my direction?”

“Shut up. Do you not understand the meaning of "get lost"? Either you're ignorant or you're dismissing me. If it's the former, you're foolish. If it's the latter, you're oblivious.”

“Mr. Undertaker, you're an interesting person.”

“........”

“Let's get along well from now on. My name is Go Yuri. Just call me Yuri.”

After saying this, Go Yuri walked off first. Her shadow, with her hands clasped behind her back, was humming a tune.

It seemed like she had taken an interest in me. My intentions had yielded the opposite result.

‘Next time I encounter Go Yuri, instead of being unpleasant, I should act like a drunk gambler.’

To give a little spoiler: even changing my strategy was useless.

“Forgetting your sorrows with alcohol and letting go through gambling—you're someone who knows what it means to live life to the fullest! “

That was the crazy response she would give.

There was only one way to handle Go Yuri. From the beginning, don't let her notice you.

Someone might wonder why an infinite regressor was so afraid of Go Yuri.

But for regressors, death isn't the scariest thing. Ignorance is.

Think about it. The opponent is an S-class cognition manipulator, the final boss of mental viruses.

Could you trust any knowledge gained from approaching Go Yuri? What if that knowledge was already tainted by brainwashing and manipulation?

And what would Go Yuri do if she discovered I was a regressor?

For instance:

“Then let me ask you this.”

“When did you think I wasn't brainwashing you...?”

“Oh-hoho. You’re simply hypnotized into believing you've regressed when you're actually under my control.”

“From now on, I'll reign supreme.”

What if something like that happened?

Among all the Awakeners I knew, the one with the strongest mental power was the Saintess. Even she was defeated by Go Yuri. Until I obtained the 'shield' to resist cognition manipulation, the mental firewall, it would be wise not to associate with Go Yuri.

But apparently, I wasn't the only one who knew little about her.

[Oh Dok-seo: Hmm. Who's she? Pink hair?]

Oh Dok-seo glanced this way. She probably thought she was sneaky, but my senses picked it up.

[Oh Dok-seo: Was there a character like her in the previous cycle? Her hair color stands out for an extra. But she's got a really nice impression. Probably older than me. Maybe I could befriend her.]

―――Even Oh Dok-seo didn't know about Go Yuri.

This fact held a significant hint.

From observing Oh Dok-seo, it seemed clear that she'd read "a certain novel."

Surprisingly, the protagonist of that novel was me, the Undertaker.

It was unclear whether it should even be called a novel—it was more like my documentary or biography. Oh Dok-seo knew too much for it to be anything else.

But...

‘She only knows the really old stuff.’

It was like reading a novel that was updated at a snail's pace.

For instance:

[Oh Dok-seo: Okay, got the elixir from Haeundae! Wow, getting the elixir right after clearing the Busan Station Gate. This is super fast progress. Maybe I’ve got some talent.]

[Oh Dok-seo: With this, it's possible to defeat the terrifying final boss... Ten Legs.]

Ten Legs wasn’t the final boss.

In fact, it wasn’t even a mid-boss. Its time of freely exploring restaurants across the Korean Peninsula lasted until around the 20th run at most. After that, it became a delicacy itself.

[Oh Dok-seo: I need to join up with Dang Seo-rin somehow. She's the most reliable guild leader among those bastards. If her Cursed Song Incantation activates properly, she's the strongest DPS.]

Dang Seo-rin wasn't the strongest DPS.

At the very beginning, she might've looked like one, but her true strength emerged in the role of a supporter.

As Old Man Scho and I became stronger with each passing run, Dang Seo-rin gradually withdrew from the front lines to support us.

In short:

[Oh Dok-seo: The protagonist has to withstand the Ten Legs assault, but it'll be tough alone. Should I help him out after all?]

Oh Dok-seo didn't even know Old Man Scho existed.

The conclusion was simple.

‘The novel Oh Dok-seo read only covered [my Life up to the 4th run].’

In other words, an unfinished autobiography.

A half-written novel. A story where not all chapters were serialized yet. An ongoing series by a slow author.

It was truly a unique ability.

If it had a name, it would be... [Author's Nudge].

But assuming Oh Dok-seo's novel only summarized the first four runs of my life explained everything.

It also clarified why she treated me like a psychopath.

‘Well, I guess I was a little edgy back then before I met Old Man Scho.’

Of course, I wasn't as much of a psychopath as she believed.

I simply preemptively separated the heads from the bodies of troublemakers, threatened to kill everyone if things didn't go my way, and wouldn't be satisfied unless I profited the most from any event… just your standard web novel regressor personality?

[Oh Dok-seo: Wow. Look at that terrifying expression when he says he'll join Dang Seo-rin. This madman, once he chooses to trust someone, treats them like a real person while seeing others like me as less than human. It's heartbreaking!]

Hmm.

A conversation was clearly needed.

I quietly observed Oh Dok-seo for about four months. In the end, I decided she was trustworthy enough.

“Oh Dok-seo.”

“Huh? What's up, all of a sudden? I'm surprised you spoke to me first.”

“I'd like to talk. Somewhere quiet, just the two of us.”

I approached Oh Dok-seo while the party members were away. I double-checked to make sure Go Yuri was gone, so now it was safe.

[Oh Dok-seo: Eek! Shit, he's going to bury me without anyone knowing!]

Apparently, Oh Dok-seo didn't feel safe at all.

“Yeah? Sure. A good party leader should listen to their members.”

Well, I wasn't sure about that, but at least she was good at controlling her expression. Despite freaking out internally, she chewed her gum with a poker face.

We went into a local café with a sign reading [Closed until August 20]. Today was October 25.

Inside was neat and tidy. I cautiously sat down, thinking of the owner who couldn't organize their heart even after arranging their belongings.

“Alright... what's this about?”

Oh Dok-seo looked at me with a calm face, determined eyes, and a fearful heart.

I disabled [Telepathy] for a moment. It wasn't suitable for serious conversations between people.

“First, I'd advise you not to be too shocked.”

“Huh? What are you going to say?”

“Let's get straight to the point. Oh Dok-seo, I know you read a novel you believe to be this world's original work.”

“........”

Tick, tick.

The wall clock, still working because the battery hadn't died yet, diligently ticked away. Unfortunately, it wasn't one of those cuckoo clocks.

Oh Dok-seo's jaw dropped.

“What?”

“By the way, the way I'm speaking now is to fit your expectations. I'd prefer to return to my normal tone, if you don't mind. This isn't comfortable.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold on! Hold on!”

Oh Dok-seo practically screamed.

“A novel? What novel? I have no idea what you're talking about!”

“Of course, it's Omniscient Regressor's Viewpoint that you claim to have read. You might not know, but I have an ability called [Telepathy]. It converts surface-level thoughts into language and lets the user hear them.”

“Huh? That's a lie, there's no such ability in the original work... Ah.”

Oh Dok-seo blinked.

“Was that some kind of leading question?”

“No, it's true. I also know you think I'm half-psychopath.”

“I-I never said that!”

Oh Dok-seo denied it with a trembling voice but stood firm in her innocence. She had the brazenness of a politician.

Ten minutes later.

After some conversation, we cleared up our misunderstandings—or rather, her one-sided misconceptions. Oh Dok-seo showed a wide range of expressions during the talk.

She muttered in disbelief.

“What? This is a scam.”

“A scam?”

“In novels, regressors never reveal their secrets to the protagonist... uh, I'm the protagonist in this case. Anyway, they usually hide it. But it was obvious from the moment we were summoned to the Busan Station. This doesn't follow novel logic!”

“Sorry, but the world isn't a novel.”

“It was until just now!”

Oh Dok-seo slammed the table.

“And what's with your tone! Where's the Undertaker who would kill his companions at the drop of a hat?”

“Honestly, it’s so long ago for me. Imagine hearing "You were such a good kid when you were five" when you're fifty. Would you relate?”

“Huh? That long?”

“That long.”

“How many runs have you had, from your perspective?”

“555 runs.”

“Five hundred fifty-five runs?”

Oh Dok-seo screeched like a cuckoo clock.

“What's up with that number! Not fifty-five but five hundred fifty-five? Even if the Ten Legs is tough, couldn't you have killed it by then? What are you, neglecting your duties?”

“Ah, the Ten Legs isn’t the final boss. Its actually the weakest.”

Oh Dok-seo's face turned pale.

“Ten Legs who turned Dang Seo-rin, the Great Witch and Guild Leader, into fried chicken is the weakest?”

“I've been grilling them on skewers lately.”

“Bullshit... Wait a second. Undertaker, how old are you?”

Hmm.

I cautiously answered.

“Child, age is meaningless for a regressor.”

“No, no, no. It’s not meaningless. Let's see, even if we assume ten years per run... 5,550 years old?”

“........”

I pled the Fifth.

Not because I didn't have anything to say, but because saying it would only worsen my case. Like the fact that the average duration of each run was longer than ten years.

Oh Dok-seo, looking at my expression, was horrified.

“What! You're an old geezer!”

“........”

“No way, the protagonist I thought was so cool is actually an old man!”

And thus, "Old Man" became how Oh Dok-seo would refer to me.

I felt a little down.

Such cruelty.

Kid, I hope you live to my age too.

Footnotes:

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