I’m Really a Superstar

Friday.

On the opening day of the performance.

Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai’s crosstalk publicity billboard was hanging outside the Beijing Exhibition Center. It was still two hours away from the start, but sea of people had gathered below the billboard.

“Who still has tickets for the show?”

“They’ve all been sold out.”

“Oh my God, there are so many people!”

“I was still thinking of trying my luck to buy a ticket from here.”

“Are there really no tickets left at all?”

“If I can’t manage to buy a ticket, I’ll have to go back home to catch the livestream.”

“There’s really no one else who can command a huge turnout like this!”

“That’s right. Since the olden days, which crosstalk comedian has had such great appeal? Whose crosstalk tour could be organized to such a level? Not even the most famous crosstalk masters could do it!”

“Crosstalk has really come back to life.”

There was an overwhelming number of cars!

The major roads within two kilometers of the venue were jam-packed with traffic!

It was an extremely spectacular scene that could only be called unprecedented!

…

At the traffic police department.

“The roads are all jammed!”

“Traffic is not moving anymore!”

“What’s happening?”

“What’s the occasion today?”

“Today? Zhang Ye is holding a tour stop at the Beijing Exhibition Center today!”

“I knew it! Quick, increase the manpower! Hurry, hurry, hurry!”

The traffic police were out in full force and working at five times their usual capacity to help ease the traffic flow.

…

In the crosstalk world.

People were already waiting for the livestream to start.

“In the past ten years, no one has dared hold a crosstalk tour.”

“That’s right, not to mention holding it at a venue as large as the Beijing Exhibition Center!”

“No one has dared to think about holding a crosstalk at a place like the Beijing Exhibition Center before!”

“Let’s see what he’s got.”

The crosstalk world was also very concerned because this was a major event that didn’t happen too often in their industry. There was actually someone who dared to hold a crosstalk at a place like the Beijing Exhibition Center?!

Master Sun?

Master Kong?

Not even they had dared do so!

…

The three Japanese and Korean celebrity teams.

Park Jaesang was performing at the same time as Zhang Ye today, but what the Japanese and Korean celebrity teams were most concerned about was this show that Zhang Ye was going to put on. They wanted to see what it was all about and what kind of a situation it would pose to them. It was likely that Korea and Japan had crosstalk as well, but the format and delivery were different from China’s. However, their crosstalks were without a doubt not popular with their people. So these Japanese and Korean celebrities, as well as their teams, were all very puzzled. Why would anyone want to watch a crosstalk? Why would anyone like it? Since when could crosstalks compete with a singer’s concert?

It didn’t make any sense!

There was absolutely no comparison!

Kim Jichan was watching the livestream.

Kimura Kazuya and his interpreter were watching the livestream as well.

They wanted to understand their “enemy” so that they could come up with a strategy to deal with the situation.

…

His parents powered on their computer.

Quite a few of those from the entertainment circle also launched the livestream of the event.

Countless citizens were waiting for it to begin.

100,000!

1 million!

5 million!

Even before the opening act, and before the show began, the livestreaming site that Zhang Ye had exclusively authorized to broadcast the crosstalk live had exceeded 6 million concurrent viewers. Further, that number was still rising. This dumbfounded the site’s executives and staff!

7 million!

7.5 million!

It was too popular!

It was way too fucking popular!

The netizens were leaving comments below.

“I’m so anticipating this!”

“Hurry up and begin already!”

“This is making me so damn anxious!”

“I haven’t heard Zhang Ye perform his crosstalk in a year already!”

“Although Zhang Ye has been up to all kinds of different activities in the past few years like singing and skit acting, as well as so many other things, I still like his crosstalks the most!”

“Previous poster, you’re my bosom buddy!”

“Me too!”

“He and Old Yao are the best duo! They’re goddamn made for each other!”

“That’s right! They’re a pair who haven’t appeared in the crosstalk world in over two hundred years!”

“Wow, it’s almost starting!”

“It’s starting, it’s starting!”

10 million!

20 million!

30 million!

At this moment, the livestream reached an astounding 30 million viewers. Furthermore, the number was still increasing as though there was no end!

…

At the Beijing Exhibition Center.

At the venue.

The host announced, “Next, please enjoy the crosstalk by Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai.”

The live audience flew into a frenzy!

“Ah!”

“They’re here!”

“Zhang Ye! Zhang Ye!”

“They’re coming out!”

Applause thundered!

Tens of thousands of people were cheering!

Ning Lan was clapping in the audience!

Xiaodong and Chen Guang were cheering in the audience!

Zhang Ye’s celebrity friends had all come to show their support for him!

Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai walked out onto the stage in their crosstalk attire. The audience had not seen this kind of clothing in a long time. Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai themselves also missed the times when they were wearing it.

The shouting and cheering were extremely loud!

Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai couldn’t make themselves heard amid the brouhaha. They could only look at each other with a wry smile.

Zhang Ye stood in front of the microphone. “Thank you, thank you.”

Yao Jiancai clasped his hands and said, “Thank you, everyone, for your support.”

The reception only toned down after a full thirty seconds.

Only then could Zhang Ye say, “Everyone is really enthusiastic with their support. Thank you so much. We’re really can’t repay your kindness. I heard that there was a huge traffic jam around the Beijing Exhibition Center tonight?”

The audience laughed out loud at this.

Yao Jiancai said happily, “I think there was.”

“Since the audience is so supportive, we better give a proper performance to them today.”

Yao Jiancai said, “We should.”

Zhang Ye said, “I’m gonna throw out everything I have today and talk about things that would be banned from the television broadcasts!”

“Ah?”

Zhang Ye added, “Actually, everything we say tonight will not be allowed on broadcast.”

“Hai.”

The live audience laughed.

“Pfft!”

“Hahahaha!”

“Hahahahaha!”

Zhang Ye said, “Thank you. We’re not the only ones who have a show tonight. Across from here, not far away, there is a concert going on as well. But for everyone to come and attend our show tonight and watch the livestream online, it shows that all of you truly love crosstalk.”

Yao Jiancai agreed, “That’s right.”

Across from here?

A concert?

The audience’s eyes lit up as they all knew who he was referring to!

“It’s a good thing to have competition, but sometimes competition can be so intense that it gets annoying.”

“Is that so?”

Zhang Ye said, “With the two shows opening right across from one another and each of us trying to sell tickets to our own show, how can I allow him to push me into second place?”

The audience laughed, “Hahahaha!”

Yao Jiancai asked, “Oh, really?”

Zhang Ye said, “So we sought a master’s opinion.”

“Oh.”

“The master instructed me to put up two mirrors at our entrance and point it in his direction.”

“You mean?”

“So that we can reflect whatever evil aura there is to him.”

The audience laughed, “Pfft, hahahaha!”

Yao Jiancai asked, “A demon revealing mirror?”

Zhang Ye said, “If you place it there, the people across from us wouldn’t just accept it.”

“That’s right.”

“After their boss comes out and sees himself in the mirror every day, it would get around to him what is going on. Are you shining that on me? No way, I better get a master here to deal with this!”

“Oh?”

“When the master arrives, he’ll realize how bad of a situation it is and say, ‘Aiyo, he’s resorting to the occult.'”

“Then what should be done?”

“Buy four mirrors and shine it back at them.”

The audience laughed. “Hahahaha!”

Zhang Ye continued, “The boss across from us will come out and realize it, then say, ‘Aiya, they’re shining it back at me?'”

Yao Jiancai said, “He’ll get it immediately.”

“No way, let’s seek the master’s advice again!”

“Ah?”

“When the master arrived, he suggested using six mirrors!”

“He added another two?”

The audience was laughing loudly.

Zhang Ye said, “Ta, ta, ta, ta! There! That’s six mirrors now. So how would the boss across from us handle it? Get the master of course!” He gesticulated with his hands. “Eight mirrors!”

Yao Jiancai was floored. “There’s no need to get a master’s advice if this is all they’re saying! What’s the point of asking a master if it’s just adding two mirrors each time!”

The audience burst into laughter.

“Hahahaha!”

“Aiyo!”

“Pfft, hahahahaha!”

Zhang Ye said, “Pa, pa, pa, pa! That’s eight mirrors now.” With a pause, he said, “With this little fight of theirs, they rescued four glass factories from closing down.”

Watching the livestream.

The viewers were bursting into laughter again!

“Hahahahaha!”

“Aiyo, I’m so tickled!”

A simple opening was all it took to warm the audience up!