In This Life, I Will Be The Lord

﹡ ⊹ ⊰ Chapter 242 ⊱ ⊹ ﹡

Perez followed me without saying a word.

I’ve been walking as fast as I can, but I can’t beat Perez’s pace. Eventually, the carriage departed with Perez in it.

I knew he was sitting next to me, but I didn’t turn my head towards him.

After sitting close to the window, I didn’t look back at Perez. I didn’t want to show my face right now.

At first, I wasn’t going to say anything, but it was me who opened my mouth first after coughing a little.

I can’t help it when I felt Perez’s restlessness at my side without even looking.

"... Why did you follow me?"

Fortunately, my voice was fine.

"You seem to be busy with your previous engagement."

Oh, no. I’m getting emotional again.

As soon as the meeting was over, he ran straight out like an arrow, and when I remembered the image of this guy with Ramona, I was upset.

Even though I know well that I deserve it.

"You have to get off before we leave the Imperial Palace..."

Oh, I’m screwed. I was holding it well. Despite how hard I tried, my heart couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

"... Tia?" Perez’s voice trembled as he approached a little closer.

I felt his hand carefully reaching out to me.

"What is it..." I replied bluntly, as if nothing happened, turning further to the other side.

But he didn’t fall for it.

A slightly trembling hand touched my chin and gently pulled it towards him.

Perez eventually saw my face.

The image before me showed a blurry face and red eyes that were shaking like an earthquake.

Perez kept looking at me with a shocked face. His body hardened and unmoving however he asked with a voice that seemed to be strangled.

"... Why are you crying?"

"No, I’m not crying." I said so and wiped my face with my sleeves.

But it didn’t work.

"Gosh."

I wonder if my tear glands suddenly broke.

Tears streamed like a broken dam, ignoring my unwillingness to cry in front of Perez. Maybe it’s because I’m ashamed.

"Tia, don’t cry. When you cry..." Perez said as he frowned, wiping away my tears with his hands.

He was showing a painful expression as if he had been hit hard by someone.

I don’t even know why I’m even crying.

"Why am I crying?"

Look at yourself. So embarrassing.

I was angry at myself for a moment.

Why am I crying when it was a decision I made, and I decided to accept it.

"Tia, please. Please tell me." Begging, Perez held my hand tightly.

His warm hands were always cold and hard, but right now they’re telling me how desperate he was.

But I can’t tell you.

I definitely thought so. However, my heart once again betrayed me.

"Because Perez smiled at someone else."

"?...What?"

"You smiled at someone other than me, you...."

"Well.. that’s..." Looking a little flustered, Perez was at a loss for words.

I quickly shook my head and said.

"I know how stupid I am right now."

The only thing he did was just smile.

No matter how little he expresses his emotions, he’s been close to Ramona for several years since their time at the Academy.

They may be a lot closer than I thought.

"I know that I’m weird. My heart is being weird."

To be honest, I was scared.

"I’m sorry, Perez. But I lost to myself."

"Lost?"

"I had to watch you with someone else..." Tears burst from my eyes again while saying so. I couldn’t stop it.

Hic!

When I started crying again and even hiccupping, Perez was at a complete loss.

He was in more pain as he wiped away my tears with his trembling hands.

I squeezed the hem of Perez’s clothes and said.

"I don’t want you to have someone more precious than me."

Hearing my words, Perez, who had been constantly wiping my cheeks, stopped.

Then he hugged me tightly and said,

"I swear."

His big hand pulled me until I couldn’t get any closer.

"No one is more precious than you. Now and forever."

His red eyes looked deep into mine.

"If you cry like this, it feels like I’m going to die..." Then Perez’s gaze was stuck on my lips.

"How could you—"

I was interrupted because the carriage suddenly rattled. The horses hovered in their places.

Maybe it was because we were passing through the front gates of the palace.

"Ah." Perez slowly blinked his eyes, as if he had woken up. Then he muttered in a low voice. "That was close."

"...What was?"

But he didn’t answer. Instead, he looked at my lips for a moment a bit drowsily and sighed. Finally, he wiped away my half-dried tears with his thumb.

"I will die if you cry so don’t cry."

What kind of logic is that?

I looked him in the eye and said.

"You."

"Yes?"

"What if I was doing this with another man inside the carriage?"

As soon as I finished speaking, Perez’s face hardened and I could hear the sound of something gritting their teeth.

It seemed as if waves washed away the emotions from Perez’s face. At the same time, the temperature inside the carriage seemed to drop by a few degrees.

It wasn’t enough to bother me, but I could feel it was there.

The carriage shook greatly once again even though there wasn’t anything on the ground.

"What’s wrong with yous?"

Outside, a voice of bewilderment could be heard from the coachman as he talked to the horses.

Horses that were much more sensitive to this kind of aura than humans, seemed to have been frightened and raving from it.

I said with a smile.

"Yes, that’s exactly how I felt."

In fact, Perez was only guilty of smiling at someone.

Let’s just skip that little distinction.

"That’s why let’s take some time to think about it." I said, brushing his cheek with my hand just like what Perez did earlier.

"I need time to organize my thoughts."

"Tia." Perez said in a hurry. "If it’s because of the improbability to serve both as the Empress and the Family Head under the current law—"

"I know that there’s a way."

Perez paused at my words and stopped talking.

"That’s why I’ll think about it more carefully."

Other people would have no reason to worry like this.

I like you. What else do I need to think about when I like you this much?

"Because you and I are a little different. We’re not the kind of people who can simply be together and break up just because we feel like it."

"... Break up." Perez’s face darkened rapidly.

"No, that’s not what I’m saying!"

"Uhm..."

I hesitated for a moment before I spoke in a very small voice.

"I like you. You’re the only man for me. But if we want to be together, we need to be prepared."

My voice started out small, but it got smaller and smaller as time goes by. Even I couldn’t hear it in the end.

"Oh."

However, there seemed to be no problem for Perez, who in many ways exceeded human limits.

"Alright?"

My face turned red as if it were going to burst soon.

This is really... It’s quite embarrassing for the person who said it.

"Well... You already know that it’s not the first time I said it." Embarrassed, I said as I hit him on the shoulder. But my fist quickly fell into Perez’s hand.

"I’m really no match for you." He said, bringing his hot lips on my knuckles and with his arm silently went behind my back.

He suddenly pulled me close and a creak was heard from our seat.

"Perez..."

I tried to stop him.

Because I know what those eyes, like the burning embers, mean.

But Perez whispered in a very desperate voice.

"Just once."

It’s worth getting used to it now. The way his face looked as he was pleading and his long eyelashes fluttering.

"Tia, just once."

His deep voice tickled my ears and I felt dizzy at once. His lips hovered right in front of mine as if asking for permission.

"Please."

Oh, I lost.

I closed my eyes without saying anything.

Soon, his fingers intertwined with mine.

In the end, Perez didn’t get off the carriage until we arrived at the restaurant.

***

"We’ve arrived."

The carriage stopped, and I heard the coachman announce our arrival.

Of course, I already had smoothed the creases of my dress, looking pristine again and ready to get out of the carriage.

But when I put my hand on the doorknob of the carriage, Perez stopped me.

"Wait a minute."

Perez came closer and stole my lips.

"There are still some traces of me left."

"Hmm."

I coughed a little and deliberately opened the carriage door wide and got off.

"Huh? Is that... His Highness?"

"Did they ride this far together?"

The noblemen who have already arrived and were waiting for me in front of the restaurant recognized Perez and were whispering to each other.

"Please take the Crown Prince back to the Palace." I deliberately spoke to the coachman more confidently.

"Then see you later, Your Highness."

However, Perez poked his face out of the edge of the open carriage door, looking at me.

He’s smiling!

The others haven’t noticed, but I do.

His face is expressionless, but his eyes were slightly narrowing as if smiling discreetly.

"Yes, thank you for your work today. I feel like my worries have disappeared thanks to Deputy Head Lombardy. Return unharmed, my Lady."

He looked very respectable. There’s no breach of etiquette anywhere.

It was so different from what he looked like a while ago...

"Shall we go inside now?"

I’m about to turn red again so I hurriedly invite them inside.

His persistent, hot gaze followed me relentlessly until I entered the restaurant.

***

Perez and I met again sooner than expected.

"You’ve made sure that there’s no one left inside, right?"

"Yes, Deputy Head Lombardy."

Today was the day to close and seal the gates of the mansion of the Angenas Family.

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