Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 21: An Innovative Idea

Translator: Pika

“No, that’s not...” Ji Xiaoxi quickly averted her eyes. “I didn’t think that you were that good-looking.” She had been too embarrassed to take a good look at him while in the water earlier on, and it was only now that she finally got a good glimpse of his appearance.

“Indeed. Back in my hometown, my family and friends nicknamed me Sanlitun’s Daniel Wu.” Zu An was more than delighted to be acknowledged by a beauty. When Cheng Shouping mentioned that the First Miss of the Chu clan had taken him for a spouse due to his looks, he thought that it was just bootlicking. It seemed his looks were indeed considered outstanding in this world.[1]

“Who is Daniel Wu?” Ji Xiaoxi asked in confusion.

“Ah, he’s one of the best-looking men back in my homeland,” Zu An replied as he began to reminisce about his other world. He missed his handphone and the internet, and the boredom of having nothing to do really grated at him.

“Oh.” Ji Xiaoxi’s face reddened a little. All of a sudden, she said, “You aren’t a good person.”

“Ah? Why is that so?” Zu An was astonished. While the young woman was a little naive, there was no doubt that she was stronger than him. If she were to turn against him right now, it could spell trouble.

“You said that the Assrip Wolves were chasing you, and you fell into the water in a moment of fluster. However, there are no Assrip Wolf tracks in this area. Furthermore, your clothes are folded neatly on the riverbank, which means you had been relaxed as you entered the water. The situation is entirely different from what you described,” Ji Xiaoxi said as she pointed to the marks on the ground. She was naive, but she wasn’t a fool.

Zu An laughed in embarrassment. However, the time they had spent chatting with one another had given him a good grasp of her personality. He quickly explained, “I didn’t want to lie to you, but I was afraid that you would misunderstand, especially given the situation we were in. That’s why I spun such a tale. However, it’s true that I lost consciousness and was swept downstream. I assure you that I wasn’t lying about that.”

“Is that so?” Ji Xiaoxi assessed him suspiciously from head to toe. “You seem to be in perfect condition though. You don’t appear to be ill to me. Give me your hand.”

“What?” Zu An was a little perplexed, but she had an air about her that made it hard to refuse. He stretched his hand out obediently.

Three icy fingers fell on his wrist, and in that moment, Ji Xiaoxi transformed into a different person, her gentle tenderness replaced by an unexpected severity.

Even a chatterbox like Zu An dared not say anything out of fear of interrupting her.

“I see. There’s indeed a problem with your Sea of Yin Pulse,” Ji Xiaoxi retracted her fingers. Her wariness toward him lessened, replaced by pity. “I’m afraid I lack the skills to treat you. However, you need not worry. My father should be able to do it.”

Seeing the young woman eyeing the lower half of his body in sympathy, Zu An felt tears brimming in his eyes. Which man would be willing to show weakness to a woman? He wanted to tease her, but now that she’d clearly seen the state he was in... How embarrassing!

Zu An regretted giving his arm to her so obediently. But then again, how was he to know that this young woman was actually such a capable physician?

Wait a moment, her surname is Ji, and she’s skilled in medicine too. It can’t be that coincidental, right?

“May I ask who your father is?”

Ji Xiaoxi replied with a sweet smile, “My father is Ji Dengtu. He is somewhat famous in Brightmoon City, so you might have heard of him.” She had been unsure of him, but she put her wariness aside after learning of his illness. The earlier peeking incident had to have been an unintended coincidence.

“Ah, Divine Physician Ji. I have heard of him,” Zu An replied. He considered telling her about how Divine Physician Ji’s task had brought him here, but thought better of it.

Mistaking his unfocused look for concern over his illness, she quickly consoled him. “Don’t worry. I’ll bring you home to meet my father. He should have a way to treat you.”

“But I still need to collect goubaos.” Zu An was skeptical of Ji Xiaoxi’s offer to help. He had seen just how in love with money Divine Physician Ji was, and he had not hesitated to put down his daughter in public. There was little chance someone like that would help him if he did not complete the task.

Ji Xiaoxi hesitated at his words. “But given your strength, I’m afraid that...”

Her meaning was crystal clear. It’s not that I want to look down on you, but your strength is indeed trash.

Zu An chuckled in response. “I had been troubled by this matter as well, but I figured a way out after meeting you.”

“After meeting me?” Ji Xiaoxi appeared unsure. “But I’m only at the third rank. If I use the dragon feces, those Assrip Wolves would only stay as far away as possible. As for the sedative, I used it all up when dealing with the Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino.”

That this young woman had survived all this time seemed a minor miracle to Zu An. She had just given away all of her trump cards to a stranger without any hesitation. Had she never contemplated the possibility that he could be a bad person?

Perhaps she believed that she had no need to ward herself against someone afflicted with his condition.

“Don’t worry, I don’t need your help. I can settle this by myself,” Zu An replied with a secretive smile. “You mentioned earlier that the Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino is highly aggressive?”

“Indeed,” Ji Xiaoxi nodded. Her eyes widened in realization. “You’re intending to use the Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino to deal with those Assrip Wolves? Even though the Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino has thick skin, it’s much slower than those Assrip Wolves. It’ll be hard for it to kill them. Not only that, the leader of the Assrip Wolves appears to have reached the third rank. In a real fight, I’m afraid that the Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino wouldn’t be a match for them.”

“I have an idea in mind.” Zu An replied, still smiling mysteriously. He made his way downstream. Ji Xiaoxi followed closely behind, still perplexed.

They returned to the place they had first met, and saw that the Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino was starting to rouse. As potent as Ji Xiaoxi’s sedative was, the amount she’d used had not been enough to knock the massive beast out for long.

Zu An quickly turned to Ji Xiaoxi and asked, “Do you have a handkerchief?”

“I do.” Ji Xiaoxi pulled out a clean white handkerchief and passed it to him. It had a light orchid fragrance.

Zu An hesitated. “Do you have one that is used? It’ll be a pity to dirty this one.”

“It’s fine, I’ll just wash it afterwards.” Ji Xiaoxi waved her hand casually.

Zu An doubted she would even want to touch it once he was through. He said instead, “Okay, I’ll owe you a handkerchief then. I’ll buy you a new one when we get back to the city.”

With that, he took out the Poisonous Prick and wrapped it tightly with the handkerchief, leaving the tip exposed.

Ji Xiaoxi was still confused. “What are you going to do?”

“Stand back,” Zu An said without explaining. After making sure Ji Xiaoxi was a safe distance away, he walked up to the Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino. He grabbed the creature’s tail with one hand, and used the other to shove the entire dagger, hilt-first, up the rhino’s ass.

The rhino brayed in groggy anger.

You have successfully trolled Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino for 2 Rage points! ... 2... 2... 2...

Zu An was surprised. Perhaps these wild beasts lacked intelligence, and therefore generated much fewer Rage points compared to humans.

The abrupt insertion of a foreign object into its rear jolted the Red-Eyed Crazy Rhino fully awake. It rose to its feet and tried to look behind it. However, its body was just too inconveniently bulky. It spun around in a small circle, but could not figure out what had happened.

It heard a whistle, and turned to see a human waving madly at it. This whipped the creature into a rage. This human must have been the shameless culprit who had dared to fool around with its rear end!

Its eyes grew redder and redder, and snorted a breath of white smoke from its nose. It lowered its head and charged like a frenzied bull.

Having successfully attracted the rhino’s aggression, Zu An turned tail and fled.

From a distance, Ji Xiaoxi watched the human-and-rhino chase by the side a flabbergasted look on her face. “This is the idea he has in mind? It feels... disgusting.”

Still worried about Zu An’s safety, she ran after them.

Fortunately, even though the Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino was at the fourth rank, its lack of speed offset its bulky body and powerful defense. Even at maximum effort, it was unable to close the distance with Zu An.

The chase continued all the way to the borders of the Wolf Valley. The Crazy Red Eyed Rhino came to a sudden halt at the valley’s entrance. Sensing that it was about to enter the territory of the Assrip Wolves, it instinctively hesitated.

Seeing this, Zu An turned around and yelled, “Hey, you big oaf! How does it feel to have your ass busted? Don’t you want to get revenge? I guess yo' mama wasted her effort giving birth to a big lump of trash like you!”

The Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino had no understanding of human speech, but it could sense a taunt. It recalled the insolent act of aggression done to it earlier, and charged forward once more, eyes burning with rage.

Who cares about the Assrip Wolves? My skin is extremely tough. Those lousy dogs and their weak bites are nothing.

You have successfully trolled Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino for 2 Rage points! ... 2... 2... 2...

Laughing arrogantly, Zu An led it straight toward the den of the Assrip Wolves.

The Assrip Wolves lazed in their den, having just finished their meal. It was a huge pity that the human had been so skinny. There had not been enough to share amongst their hundred wolf brothers.

Hunger was not the worst feeling in the world. To only be given one small bite while one was starving, that was the worst. That single scrap only heightened the feeling of deprivation!

All of a sudden, the leader of the Assrip Wolves pricked up its ears. He sensed a small tremor in the ground. Could it be some huge creature had dared to enter their territory?

“Awooooooo~”

The pack leader summoned its pack, preparing to deal with the intruder.

What’s this, another human?

The pack leader was befuddled by the brazen behavior of the humans. However, it was not one to turn down a free meal that was delivered to its doorstep.

With a bark, it ordered the pack to encircle the human.

Seeing that the Assrip Wolves were starting to make their move, Zu An spun and ran back the way he came, breezing past the chasing rhino and out of the Wolf Valley. The Red-Eyed Crazy Rhino, with its massive bulk, lacked the agility to execute the same maneuver. It hurtled clumsily onward, straight into the den of the Assrip Wolves.

The sudden appearance of the massive rhino caught the Assrip Wolves off guard. They hurriedly scattered to avoid the impact, but some were too slow, and were violently crushed under the rhino’s massive bulk.

The Assrip Wolf pack leader was incensed by this intrusion. If this were a fifth rank beast, it would have swallowed its anger and tolerated it. However, this rhino was merely at the fourth rank, and it was a dumb and clumsy oaf to boot! There was no way it would fear such an enemy!

“Awoooooo~”

The leader immediately ordered its pack to let the human go, and focus on the rhino instead. That human was barely skin and bones, but taking down this rhino would feed them for at least ten days. The choice of prey was obvious.

The pack of Assrip Wolves converged on the Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino, attacking its rear. Some of the more daring wolves leaped onto its back and clamped their fangs down.

The thick hide of the Crazy Red-Eyed Rhino was nothing to scoff at. The wolves almost lost their teeth as they bit down, without leaving as much as a scratch. Despite sustaining no injuries, the attacks from these Assrip Wolves infuriated the larger beast. It tossed them off and ran them down, crushing their bodies.

It seemed to grin smugly at its victory, mocking the wolves for not knowing their place.

This insolence provoked the leader of the Assrip Wolves. It raised its head toward the sky and let out a frightening howl towards its pack members.

Are you all idiots? Have you forgotten what our specialty is? Wreck his ass!

1. Daniel Wu is considered one of the most good-looking male stars in China back in the 1990s-2000s, probably the Chinese equivalent to Tom Cruise. Sanlitun is an upscale district in China, with popular bars and shopping malls.

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