Lazy Dungeon Master

Investigation Commission: Hell

(Adventurer’s Point of View)

We reluctantly left the inn behind.

… Ahh, I wanted to stay another night at least.

The bath was good, the food was good, even the bedding. Everything was high quality.

One silver and fifty copper including meal fees, beyond cheap!

Ahh, I’ll stay another night before turning in the commission, then come back for another afterwards.

When we entered the dungeon, the first room was filled with pitfall traps.

If it weren’t for Muzoh’s skill, [Sense Danger], we would’ve fell into the pitfalls just like that.

“Grah, dammit, I at least wanted to hear her name… I’ll get her to tell me when we get back for another night.”

Muzoh was being very devoted to that receptionist girl. Well, she was a beauty after all.

I feel like this happened before… ah.

“Ah… Muzoh, it’s a bit late for this, but…. I know her name.”

“What!? What the, when did you get on such good terms with her!?”

“It’s Sorin.”

I recalled my bitter memories concerning Sorin.

… Aah, she really was stripped of all she had by that hand of cards…

She was awfully strong with her sake, her stomach was a bottomless pit. Just how many adventurers did she trick into emptying their wallets as they treated her?

In addition, though she didn’t have many skills to speak of her strength was above a C-Rank’s.

“Sorin? … Wait, Sorin the [Demonic Gourmand]!? T-that’s her!?”

“I heard a rumor that she’d fallen into slavery, but why’s she at a place like this…”

“Eh—, she’s a slave? I didn’t notice at all…”

She had a collar on, oi… It was pretty hard to notice with her outfit though.

Hmm, other than his attention darting towards women, it really is safe with him as the scout.

… Particularly today’s dungeon investigation, he’s excellent if it isn’t related to women… probably.

“Still, there’s just goblins appearing, eh Uzoh?”

“I wonder if that’s since it was a dungeon where just goblins came out to start with… That aside, there’s a ton of traps huh. They’re even all deadly.”

“Almost became a pincushion to those pitfalls huh. Close call.”

“Seriously, pay attention!”

While collecting the right ears of goblins we killed, we advanced quickly.

Oh, a box.

“Muzoh, there’s a box here. Check it out.”

“There’s… no traps. Alright alright, treasure-cha~n—oooh, it’s a mana potion!”

“Nice! That’s a silver coin.”

We continued on in a good mood. Muzoh had to use his [Little Heal] a few times, so he probably had a bit of a heavier responsibility than most adventurers.

And then we came to some stairs.

“That magic sword we were told about was probably gotten after this yeah, Uzoh?”

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to it, Muzoh… Brace yourself.”

Golems appeared on the second floor.

But they weren’t a match for us either.

“—[Slash]!”

My iron sword sliced right through the clay golems’ bodies.

If they’re just on this level, I can defeat them even if I don’t purposely aim to break the magic stone. As for how to defeat golems, there were three main ways.

The first is to break its magic stone.

Magic stones are the heart of a golem. It’s somewhere inside its body, sometimes inside of it. If you destroy it, the golem will stop moving.

The second way is to attack it with with offensive magic skills. Golems are basically dolls that move by way of magical power, so it’s weak to its magical power being disturbed by offensive magic. Well, I don’t have any way to attack with magic though.

The third way was to just give it large amounts of damage, that’s it.

The magical power that dwelled in the golem would disperse, it’s that kind of this… well, it’s probably the same thing more or less. When you attack the golem a few times with something that exceeds its defenses, it’ll abruptly weaken and give you an opening, if you attack it right then—

“Another one down.”

When I cut the golem in half, it returned to being dirt.

Muzoh then collected the unharmed magic stone.

“Nice job, Uzoh. We can get magic stones because of that, pretty good.”

We could collect magic stones from golems that had them on their surface, but we ignored them for golems that had them on the inside since it would take too long.

We didn’t have enough extra room to do that with just us two anyway.

Then we found a small room while searching through the labyrinth.

“Hmm? The heck’s this. This path looks different from the others… ah, a [Safety Zone]!”

“Oh, I see. Let’s take a bit of a break. —Oi, there’s a sword, hey! Muzoh!”

“It’s stuck in the pedestal huh. Doesn’t look like there’s any traps, let’s try approaching.”

While Muzoh watched our surroundings, we walked into the room.

[Safety Zones] didn’t have traps to begin with though. Monsters wouldn’t even go into it.

… Then, we got close to the pedestal.

“Hm? Just now, did you hear anything from that passage? Muzoh.”

“Eh, not really. Want me to take a look?”

“Might be dangerous if you just head back unprepared. Let’s check out this sword first… Oi, there’s a magic stone in it! It’s a magic sword!”

I shouted out instinctively. My dream is to have a magic sword, but why’s there one on such a shallow floor?

“Heeh, it’s nice. Could I use it too?”

“We found this one pretty quick, so if we find another one it’ll be Muzoh’s.”

“I didn’t find any traps. It’ll be fine even if you pull it out… hmm? Crap wait! Don’t pull it out!”

“Eh?”

Looks like Muzoh’s [Sense Danger] sensed a trap. However, he was too slow. In my excitement, I already pulled out the sword.

Crash! The sound of something hard grinding against something else resounded from the passage.

… When I took a look, the passage had been entirely blocked with needles that were thicker than a sword.

It was like being inside a beast’s mouth.

“Oi, you said…”

“… Sorry, the reaction was delayed since there weren’t any traps targeting us directly…”

We got shut in….!?

*

How much time’s passed?

Muzoh said that this trap isn’t dangerous itself and should withdraw in time, and I agree with him. We decided to take a rest in this room we called a safety zone in the meantime.

Seriously though, this magic sword feels amazing.

Despite us taking a break, I found myself passing the time by using it before I realized it.

… Fufufu, this is the start of the Magic Sword Samurai Uzoh’s big break!

“Really, you were beyond careless even though I didn’t find any traps in the safety zone, Uzoh.”

“But it’s a magic sword, a magic sword! The iron sword I’ve been using up to now wasn’t that bad, but come on, I tried it out on that wooden doll over there and it’s incredibly sharp!”

“Aaah~, yeah yeah… Hey, let me try it out for a bit. I really want to see how good it is.”

“Sure, there’s another doll left.”

I passed Muzoh the magic sword.

“Heeh, it’s amazing. It gets super sharp when I put magical power into it. As expected of a magic sword.”

“Right!? For us to find a magic sword this good at such a shallow floor, we were lucky.”

“We’re blocked in now though.”

“… Don’t say that…”

We laughed together, cracking jokes at each other.

With feelings like that, we were able to pass our time comfortably. Until the second day.

*

We were still confined by the third day. Though I can make water with [Water], we’re slowly running out of food.

“… Why the heck hasn’t it opened yet?”

“Hmm, yeah. I thought that we might be able to break out ourselves, but it’s no use with these needles. We can’t get out.”

“Perhaps it’s from pulling out the magic sword, is there a switch there?”

“I tried putting my sword in it, but it didn’t work…”

“… Then should we destroy it?”

“Doubtful. You, can we cut the needles? They’re iron.”

“… How about using [Slash] with the magic sword?”

“I don’t know if it’d break.”

I don’t want to, but I’ll give it a shot when the time comes.

For now, Muzoh and I continued to look around the room.

*

The fifth day of being confined.

“It’s no use… I can’t find any way to get out, we’re almost out of food too.”

“Hey Muzoh, I wonder if anyone’d come to rescue us…”

“… I don’t feel like dying. I wonder if that’s why they sent us? Huh…”

“Yeah, maybe…”

For instance, they sent C-Rank adventurers in to the dungeon. If they didn’t return, they would guess it’s hard and set the place’s ranking to at least that.

In other words, the investigation included the possibility of us dying. Of course, we understood that when we accepted the commission.

“… Dammit, if I knew this’d be how it ended I would’ve got that C-Rank meal too…”

“Oi cut it out, stupid Uzoh, I’m hungry! Aah come on, shit, now I’m remembering that meal… Shiiit, if I make it through this I’m going to get that A-Rank meal even if I have to sell everything I have!”

“… Well, guess it’s time to try it huh. Time to use [Slash] on the needles with the magic sword… This magic sword is valuable, but not compared to my life.”

“You sure? The magic sword might break ya know?”

“Want to shut up and die then? This isn’t something to joke about…”

I brandished the magic sword, filling it with magical power.

When there was plenty in it, I attacked with all I had.

“… Haaaaaah, [Slash]!”

Giriri! With an echoing metallic sound, it shaved off a bit of the needle… if it’s like this, I can do it!

“Uzoh! Again!”

“Yeaaah! … [Slash]!!”

Giririririri! There was an even louder metallic ringing, the sound of metal striking metal. Some more of the needle was scraped off. Again!

“Now, I’m coming… [Slash]—!!”

Giriririririririri! Like death throes, the needle rang out as it broke… I did it, it broke!

“Uzoh! Booyah!”

“Yeah—! …—!”

However, I couldn’t move anymore.

… The needle wall was destroyed. But at the other end, there was another. It was the same kind of needle wall…

“I-it’s all right, you just need to break through it, one more time.”

“… Hey, oi, it’s no good.”

“What’re you saying, Muzoh? Don’t you want to get out?”

“I want to… But… the magic sword’s at its limit. It can’t be used anymore…”

Eh? I looked at the magic sword.

In exchange for forcibly cutting through the iron needles, the blade was cracked.

The heck, this… is a magic sword right? It shouldn’t break from something like this…

“Moreover, look. The needles are just restoring themselves… if we go any farther, we’ll just get skewered.”

“Dammit…”

I went back unwillingly.

A dungeon’s walls and traps restore themselves over time.

That was the part that wasn’t really like being confined in the mouth of a beast. Even though this rare magic sword was sacrificed…

In the end, today just resulted in cracking the magic sword.

*

It’s the eighth day… I think. In this enclosed space with no sun, it’s hard to tell time.

And we were out of food.

We planned to be gone two or three days at the most to start with. Maybe I should say we were lucky to bring this much?

… Well, we’re still blocked in by the needle wall.

We’re helpless.

Our interactions with each other were getting more and more violent.

“This all happened because Uzoh just had to pull out the magic sword on his own… even though I said don’t.”

“Muzoh said it was fine to pull out the sword, so I took it. Changing your mind so soon after, what you did was worse.”

Things like that. It wasn’t just things that had to do with the sword. Our complaints right now were things like being stinky, wanting to strangle each other to stop the snoring, or talking just to insult and blame each other.

Even so, we wouldn’t actually kill each other. We’re still brothers connected by strong bonds. Perhaps if we were partied with someone else, we might kill them or fight for food or something.

“… Enough already, let’s leave it at that. Sorry for insulting you, Muzoh.”

“Huh? … Well it’s fine, but what’s gotten into you Uzoh?”

“If we don’t do anything and just stay locked in here, aren’t we just waiting to fight each other?”

“… If it’s come to that, there’s no point blaming each other. It was my bad too, well, as usual.”

“Aaah, the dungeon this time is pretty hard, so that’s why. Yeah? Uzoh.”

… I wonder if we could eat the goblin ears. No, they’ve probably already rotted…

I closed my eyes to rest in order to suppress my energy use.

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