Memory Lost

Chapter 129: Her Decision Part 2

Su Mian is stunned as she sees the both of them again.

Zhou Xiao Zhuan.

He’s in a dark and small room. He’s still wearing the eye-catching lemon yellow jacket from last night before he disappeared. An unrelated thought flashes across Su Mian’s mind suddenly——every time this fellow comes across a big case, he always have to do something. For example, he would wear vibrant colored clothes or go to that small restaurant to eat a bowl of hot dry noodles. “This gives us good luck and spirit”——he always says this.

But right now, he doesn’t look like he’s in a good spirit at all. There’s a blood stain on the corner of his mouth, his hair is ruffled, and his nose and face are bruised and swollen. He looks very much in a wreck. He seems to be a bit out of it. His round eyes are staring blankly straight and it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking about.

Su Mian can’t stand seeing him like this and shouts, “Xiao Zhuan!”

Han Chen continues driving with one hand while grabbing her shoulder with the other. He has his eyes on the road all this time and doesn’t say anything.

Xiao Zhuan, on the other hand, seems to notice as he jerks his head down to look into the camera. His eyes spark and the tears that he has been holding back start flowing, “Xiao Bai! Xiao Bai……”

At the same time, Xu Si Bai on the other image was sitting quietly without any expression before noticing the feed and looks down as well.

He seems to be in a worse state than Zhou Xiao Zhuan. There’s a cut on his forehead with dried up blood on it. His smooth short hair and fair white face are covered in dried stains of blood. It makes his refined facial features seem gloomy and malevolent. He’s still wearing the light gray jacket from yesterday. The jacket is also covered with blood. His clear and pure eyes are staring at her through the screen. Those eyes carry a sense of pain and hesitation.

“Jin Xi,” he says faintly. And then stops.

“Xu Si Bai……” she murmurs.

And Han Chen’s car is closing on the intersection; there’s only about a couple tens of meters away.

“Xiao Bai, Xiao Bai!” Zhou Xiao Zhuan’s voice comes on suddenly. Su Mian returns her gaze to him. His face turns red and then pale again with his eyes opened wide. Tears fall as he sniffs his nose and says chokingly with much effort, “Xiao Bai, Leader, listen to me. I can’t hear your voice. I can only see Xiao Bai’s mouth move. Listen to me, Xiao Bai, go…go…. save Forensic Investigator Xu! Don’t save me!”

Su Mian almost cries out loud. She covers her mouth. Although she knows he can’t hear her, she can’t help but roar, “Xiao Zhuan, what are you saying?”

Zhou Xiao Zhuan seems to be calmer now after saying out his thoughts. He sniffs his nose and even reveals a smile, “Xiao Bai, we are criminal investigators. Xu Si Bai is just a forensic investigator. If someone needs to sacrifice, it should be me. Moreover……Moreover, Forensic Investigator Xu is so talented. He’s more talented than me. If he survives, he can save many more people’s lives. Let’s leave it at that.”

Su Mian’s tears are flowing non-stop. She feels as if there’s a sharp bone poking in her throat; it hurts when she opens her mouth, making her unable to speak. Han Chen beside her is showing an expression that’s cold like ice. There are a couple of cars blocking the road ahead, preventing them from getting through to the intersection. He steps on the gas pedal and passes between two cars. The cars around him quickly dodge out of fright and then poke their heads out the window to scold him. But they then notice a long stream of police cars following the Land Rover, so they all duck their heads back into their cars.

They are getting closer and closer to the traffic lights.

Xu Si Bai has been staring at her through the screen without a word all this time. Zhou Xiao Zhuan, on the other hand, is actually smiling warmly at her and says, “Xiao Bai, you know why the Black Shield Team is called the Black Shield Team?”

“I don’t know……” she says even though he can’t hear him.

Xiao Zhuan takes a deep breath, lifts his head with his eyes showing a bit of fright yet seem to be looking at a distance at the same time.

“Xiao Bai, there’s something that you guys don’t know about. Three days after I joined the Black Shield Team, I bumped into the Chief. It was early morning and I was doing some workouts when I saw the Chief come over. He was also working out.”

The honking and the noise around them don’t seem to bother Su Mian. She is listening to Zhou Xiao Zhuan’s words quietly. Han Chen’s expression also turns solemn. His side profile is stiff as he listens attentively.

Xiao Zhuan says smiling, “I was stupid and asked him: I’m a very ordinary person who’s only good at taking tests. Why did the provincial office recruit me? I felt quite embarrassed. Did you know what he said? He said: Oh Xiao Zhuan, I was the one who came up with the name, Black Shield Team. Do you know the meaning behind the name? A civil officer’s work is to protect the people like a shield. Our emblem is in the shape of a shield. We are to protect the civilians so that they cannot be harmed. When there is harm or danger, it should face us, the shield first.

So I answered: I know that. The police academy taught us this before.

The Chief smiled and said: And as for the Black Shield Team, what you are up against are the most merciless cases; your team will be handling the cruelest kind of criminals. I am putting you guys at the border of the darkest area as the sturdiest and strongest shield. Intelligence and experience may be important. But most important of all is the determination that can never be destroyed; never let down the people that you are protecting. Zhou Xiao Zhuan, I approved to let you join the Black Shield Team. From now on, can you achieve all this?”

……

At this moment, Zhou Xiao Zhuan’s eyes are actually calm and bright. He looks directly at Su Mian and nods firmly, “Xiao Bai, I can do it.”

Xiao Bai, I can do it.

Please choose to let me die.

Please choose to let me die.

I am the black shield that can never be beaten down.

Although I must die, my spirit will always be alive.

It’s just that you will have one less partner beside you. Will you be sad? Will you be lonely? But I have no way to accompany you any longer……

Su Mian lets out a painful scream as she lowers her head and cries out loud. Han Chen’s eyes also become watery; he turns his head to look out the window.

“We will save both of them,” his voice is low yet fierce, “The bomb disposal expert must save them!”

Su Mian continues crying and doesn’t respond. Her heart feels pain as if everything inside is being stirred up. And behind the two screens, Zhou Xiao Zhuan and Xu Si Bai are both watching her cry painfully. Xiao Zhuan’s tears fall as well as he sniffs his nose. Although Xu Si Bai can’t hear Zhou Xiao Zhuan or her, he stares quietly at her and can’t seem to shift his eyes away.

Twenty meters, fifthteen meters, ten meters……

Su Mian jerks her head up suddenly to look at the intersection ahead. She then twists her head to look at Han Chen beside her. Han Chen looks as if there’s a layer of ice glazed over him; his whole body is covered with an aura of viciousness. His eyes are on the road and not looking at her. And she also has nothing to say.

This road has three lanes; the left turn lane that heads toward the North to save Zhou Xiao Zhuan; the right turn lane that heads toward the South to save Xu Si Bai. Right now, they are in the middle lane, going straight. The road ahead is smooth. Whether they want to go left or right, they must make a decision now.

Five meters, three meters, two meters……

She watches Han Chen’s hands grasping the wheel tightly as if it’s about to make a turn. Su Mian leans over and grabs onto the steering wheel impulsively, “No!”

“Screeeeeech——” a sharp and loud sound from the tires rubbing against the pavement. Han Chen has actually stepped on the brakes at the same time. They stop right before the traffic lights. He tilts his handsome face up; it’s stubborn and quiet.

At this very moment, the green light for going straight, the green light on the left turn signal and the red light on the right turn signal sting their eyes.

It’s a very big intersection. A large volume of office workers cross the road; the right turn lane is completely blocked.

Han Chen looks straight with his hands on the wheel and doesn’t budge. Su Mian is also frozen. Both of their bodies are stiff as they’re stuck at the intersection.

Han Chen looks straight with his hands on the wheel and doesn’t budge. Su Mian is also frozen. Both of their bodies are stiff as they’re stuck at the intersection.

30 seconds, 50 seconds, one minute, two minutes……this red light is so long that it’s unbearable. At this instant, Su Mian can’t seem to hear anything but her heart racing and trembling.

The cars behind them honk non-stop, “What’s going on? Are you going or not?” “You can’t block the way even if you’re the police!”

On the right side, there are still herds of cyclists and office workers crossing the street, making it impossible to turn.

The left turn; only the left turn light is green.

Su Mian’s tears fall silently. She hates this. She hates this so much. At this very moment, words cannot describe her hatred towards the seven-member organization. Her cell phone rings suddenly. She picks it up and turns on the speakerphone. It’s Chatterbox. He’s choking as he speaks, “Xiao Bai, there are only fifteen minutes left. If we delay any longer, we won’t make it……”

Su Mian drops the phone and shouts as if she’s using the last bit of energy in her body, “Han Chen, turn left!” And at the same instant she dropped the phone, Han Chen had made a sharp turn and also decided which way to go. The car speeds past the intersection, heading toward the left.

The traffic is moving well.

The noise from the intersection fades away gradually. The sun in front of them is shining brightly accompanied by the tall buildings and pedestrians walking hurriedly. Everything seems ordinary and quiet. Su Mian lowers her head slowly and looks toward the two men on the screens.

Zhou Xiao Zhuan still looks quiet and gentle, viewing his death peacefully. He probably doesn’t know that she has made a decision.

And on the other screen……

All Su Mian can feel right now is pain as if something is stabbing her heart and chills running through it. She stares at Xu Si Bai’s quiet and refined looking face. He’s also looking at her. He hasn’t said anything. It’s as if he’s just in a nearby place waiting quietly.

And as if he has finally realized something; as if he knows that she has made a decision, he turns his face suddenly and avoids eye contact with her. He then closes his eyes.

Su Mian’s heart aches badly, but she’s unable to speak. She then sees him lift his hand, reaching toward the upper part of the screen, and tapping on it lightly.

The screen turns dark.

He….. turned off the video?

The screen turns dark.

He….. turned off the video?

Su Mian stares at the screen blankly. A few seconds later, her phone rings again. Cold Face’s voice is rather anxious, “The communication line with Forensic Investigator Xu died. Our local team has already arrived at the building of where he is located, but we won’t be able to pinpoint his exact location like this…..”

_____

The room returns to quiet.

Xu Si Bai places the device down, turns around and looks out the window.

Although he wasn’t able to hear her voice, he could read her lips clearly: turn left!

Turning left means going toward the North direction to save Zhou Xiao Zhuan.

He could also see the buildings around her on the way too; it was the scenery of the North side.

……

He’s not afraid of death.

He has already gotten used to seeing death.

He has always viewed death as a kind of cycle in life that everyone will experience.

Just now, he even thought that if he were to die, will his body be blown into pieces? Will it have any research value?

But it turns out, the moment she made the decision, he would also feel sadness.

It turns out that she really won’t choose him.

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