My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons

What? This is Madam Mu's own flesh and blood?0

Upon hearing the System say this, Yanshu immediately activated all her gossip nerves and asked, "What's going on? Didn't her late husband die fifteen years ago? How does she have a thirteen-year-old daughter? Who did she have the child with?"0

The System replied, "You're right, fifteen years ago, the former Marquis of Zhenhai passed away in his prime. At that time, his son was only ten years old, and Madam Mu was left as a widow to support the marquis's household. Although she had the Empress Dowager's help from the palace, it was still very difficult given the distance. At that time, the old Marquis of Zhenhai had a deputy named Zong Xinghai who helped Madam Mu handle various affairs, bustling about and being extremely loyal."0

"This young man was only in his twenties at the time, full of enthusiasm. Madam Mu had suddenly lost her support and was in a vulnerable state, so she trusted him very much. Over the course of a few years, as they interacted, feelings gradually developed between them."0

Hearing this, Yanshu's eyes lit up, "Did they perhaps cross the line and have this little girl?"0

The System continued, "More or less. On a dark and windy night, they both had a little too much to drink, and in the heat of the moment, they engaged in intimate relations. Just that one time was enough for Madam Mu to become pregnant."0

Yanshu couldn't help but marvel, "Pregnant after just one time? It seems Deputy Zong had quite the aim!"0

The System sighed, "Well, he was young, and the quality was good. Of course, that's not important. What's important is that Madam Mu was a widow who had to maintain the marquis's household for her son. Naturally, she couldn't openly give birth to this child. So she made an excuse of being ill and went to the countryside to 'recover' for a while. When the time came, she found another excuse to bring the child back from outside and raised her as an adopted daughter."0

Hearing this, Yanshu couldn't help but marvel again. This was just like another version of the general and widow story she had written before, and it was even an age-gap relationship - how exciting!0

She secretly glanced at Madam Mu again, noticing her delicate features. Even at her current age and without much makeup, she was still quite beautiful. One could imagine how stunning she must have been in her youth.0

Such a mature and charming woman - it was understandable that a young wolf couldn't resist her allure and had impure thoughts.0

However, there was still a question, so she asked, "What about Deputy Zong now? Surely he's not still serving as deputy in the household? Have the two of them been carrying on a secret affair for over a decade?"0

The System replied, "After that night, Zong Xinghai felt he had betrayed the Marquis of Zhenhai, so he voluntarily requested to be stationed at the frontlines to guard the coastal defenses. For over a decade, he's been exposed to wind and sun daily, punishing himself."0

Yanshu: "..."0

Wait, does he know he has a child?0

System: "He doesn't know."0

Yanshu: "..."0

So after all this time, Madam Mu has raised the child on her own, and that man still knows nothing?0

System: "Actually, Zong Xinghai has been secretly protecting the Marquis of Zhenhai's household all these years. He knows that Madam Mu adopted a baby girl and raised her to adulthood, but he doesn't know it's his own child."0

Yanshu: "..."0

She didn't know what to say to that.0

It sounded quite devoted, but also too foolish.0

It's not like they had an affair while the old Marquis of Zhenhai was still alive - their relationship developed after he had passed away. Why did this man have to torture himself so?0

Then again, this era placed too many shackles on women.0

In modern times, it wouldn't be an issue for a widowed woman to remarry. However, if Madam Mu were to do so now, she would certainly lose her position as the mistress of the marquis's household.0

So, this was all they could do.0

Still, Madam Mu was at least better off than the Empress Dowager. After all, she had tasted the forbidden fruit with her young wolf and had two of her own children by her side. Her days weren't lonely.0

She then asked, "Does the Empress Dowager know about this?"0

System: "Besides Madam Mu herself and her close maids, you're the first to know."0

Yanshu understood then that even the Empress Dowager, Madam Mu's good friend, had been kept in the dark.0

Of course, the more people who knew, the greater the risk. It was naturally better for fewer people to know about this matter.0

Just as she was thinking this, she heard the Empress Dowager say to her and Consort Zhou, "I need to speak with Madam Mu privately. You two go and rest for a while."0

Yanshu understood that this was girl talk between close friends, so she knowingly responded and got up to leave the hall with Consort Zhou.0

Come to think of it, Consort Zhou hadn't paid her any attention for a long time.0

This time, they were originally minding their own business, but after walking a few steps, Consort Zhou suddenly stopped and turned to her, saying, "Yiqin, you probably don't know this, but I've been by the Empress Dowager's side for so long, and that Miss Ni just now is the girl I've seen the Empress Dowager like the most."0

Yanshu immediately understood that Consort Zhou was trying to provoke her.0

So she quickly nodded and said, "I also feel that Miss Ni is clever and quick-witted, so it's natural that the Empress Dowager would like her. But Your Highness shouldn't be so modest. After all, you're her niece, so the Empress Dowager must like you the most."0

Hah, even blood ties couldn't withstand this woman's self-destructive behavior!0

If there was ever an example of playing a good hand badly, Consort Zhou would be unmatched in the world.0

Sure enough, as soon as these words were out, Consort Zhou's expression immediately changed.0

However, after holding back for a moment, Consort Zhou smiled at her with a sarcastic tone, "I saw that when the Empress Dowager said she wanted to keep this girl, it didn't seem like she was joking. Looking at that little girl, she's quite a beauty in the making. I'm afraid in a couple of years, you won't be able to compare."0

Yanshu quickly smiled again and said, "Your Highness is too kind. How could I, with my ordinary qualities, compare to Miss Ni? But if Miss Ni can stay, it's a good thing. You used to come often to chat with the Empress Dowager and keep her company, but now you don't come anymore. If Miss Ni can keep the Empress Dowager company, I'm sure the Empress Dowager will be very happy."0

Consort Zhou was choked for a moment, her expression becoming even more unpleasant.0

However, she couldn't find fault with Yanshu's words, so she could only give a cold laugh and say, "You really are a smooth talker."0

Yanshu smiled again and said, "Your Highness flatters me. I'm not even one ten-thousandth as good as Your Highness."0

By this time, they had reached the outside of the Palace of Benevolent Peace. She curtsied again and said, "I'll take my leave now."0

Then she hurried back to Ganlu Palace.0

Tsk, arguing with someone like that was a waste of time. She'd rather go back and write a novel - that would be more interesting!0

As she walked, she began to develop her ideas, and by the time she returned to Ganlu Palace, a passionate love story had taken shape in her mind. Yanshu immediately began to write.0

Tsk, there was no earth-shattering gossip, no scandalous drama, just a mature and charming older woman and a young, passionate wolf - that was exciting enough.0

Yanshu wrote with enthusiasm, continuing until nightfall.0

However, before she could finish, a voice announced from outside the door - "His Majesty has arrived..."0

She was startled for a moment, quickly snapping out of her story world. She made sure to close her manuscript before going to the palace door to curtsy.0

"This concubine greets Your Majesty."0

However, the sharp-eyed emperor had already noticed her earlier actions.0

"Rise," Yuwen Lan said nonchalantly, pretending to help her up, and then asked, "Have you written another novel today?"0

Yanshu nodded, mumbling, "I did write, but I haven't finished yet."0

Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow. Why was she being so secretive?0

So he asked again, "What kind of story is it? Can you tell me about it?"0

But she thought for a moment and said, "...Can I say no?"0

Yuwen Lan was taken aback. "Why not?"0

Was it another risqué story?0

But now, apart from the final step, they had already been intimate. If it was risqué... well, he could read it too, ahem.0

But she said, "Because I don't intend to publish this story at the moment."0

She just wanted to write a story, but the time wasn't right yet. If it was released and affected that lady's reputation, causing some negative impact, it wouldn't be good.0

Hearing this, Yuwen Lan became even more curious -0

"It concerns that lady's reputation?"0

Which lady exactly?0

Could it be another story like the former wife of the Marquis of Linwu?0

However, his curiosity had been piqued, and he really wanted to know. So he said, "I'm not an outsider. If you don't want to publish it, I won't tell anyone else."0

But she thought for a moment and said, "Words are just words. What if Your Majesty accidentally lets it slip someday?"0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

He simply untied the auspicious cloud jade pendant from his waist and handed it to her, saying, "I'll give you this as collateral. If I ever let it slip, this will be yours."0

Yanshu: "..."0

This person was really going all out just to hear some gossip, even willing to casually offer up a jade pendant with auspicious clouds as collateral?0

However... she wasn't losing out either way. This jade pendant must be worth at least a thousand taels of silver, right?0

Besides, he had no idea who the story was actually about anyway, hehe.0

So she reached out to take it, smiling as she said, "Since Your Majesty is showing such sincerity, this humble servant will tell you the story. But you must promise not to tell anyone else."0

Yuwen Lan nodded, "Of course."0

He knew there was no problem money couldn't solve when it came to her.0

Then he heard her begin, "There was once a wise and virtuous woman who originally lived a fairly content life as a wife and mother. However, the heavens are unpredictable, and one day her husband suddenly passed away in an accident, leaving her tragically widowed. At this time, one of her late husband's old friends reached out to help her, solving her problems and helping her through the most difficult initial period."0

"This lady was naturally grateful in her heart, but didn't know how to repay him. By chance one day, she discovered that when he was drunk, he would call out her name. Only then did she realize that he actually harbored deep feelings for her."0

— Listening to this part, Yuwen Lan secretly raised an eyebrow. So it was a story about a gentleman and his friend's wife.0

Tsk, he had to admit it was quite intriguing.0

But he still couldn't figure out who it was about.0

So he asked, "Did the lady also develop feelings for this gentleman?"0

He saw her nod and say, "Of course. This gentleman was young and handsome, with a kind heart. Especially since he reached out to help when the lady needed it most. After learning of his feelings, the lady's own emotions towards him gradually changed as well. But due to societal norms, she could only hide these feelings in her heart."0

"However, love is often most fierce when repressed. One day, after getting drunk, the gentleman and the lady accidentally crossed the line. Like dry tinder meeting a raging fire, they spent an entire passionate night together. But when they woke up the next morning, the gentleman felt he had betrayed his deceased friend, and was afraid of causing trouble for the lady. So he suddenly left without saying goodbye."0

Hmm?0

This took Yuwen Lan by surprise. He couldn't help but ask, "What happened after that?"0

Yanshu continued, "Afterwards, the lady unexpectedly became pregnant. She could only give birth to the child alone and raise it by herself. And that gentleman who felt he had wronged his friend remained completely unaware."0

Yuwen Lan immediately raised his eyebrows, "Completely unaware? How could there be such an irresponsible person in this world?"0

Hearing this, Yanshu secretly nodded in her heart. It seemed his moral compass was quite upright.0

Yuwen Lan pondered her words. What did she mean by... moral compass?0

Why did she say he was very upright?0

Was it meant as a compliment?0

From her tone just now, it should be.0

He silently nodded to himself, then asked, "So what happened next?"0

He heard Yanshu say, "Next, naturally the female lead raised their child alone. Later she found a very caring and protective husband and remarried."0

"Remarried?"0

Yuwen Lan was stunned. "What about the previous gentleman?"0

But he saw her reply, "Such a stubborn man without a sense of responsibility deserves to regret it for the rest of his life."0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

"Although that makes some sense, I've been listening this whole time thinking they would end up together... couldn't he be given another chance?"0

He saw her think for a moment, then say, "Alright, considering he remained unmarried and silently watched over the lady, we can give him one more chance. But he must pay a price to make up for running away back then, leaving the lady to give birth and raise the child alone through such hardship. Let him suffer a thousand or so tribulations first before we talk about it."0

Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow at her words. "Does it have to be like that?"0

Yanshu nodded with a mature expression, "This is called 'chasing wife in purgatory'. Many readers enjoy it."0

Hm?0

Yuwen Lan was increasingly confused. "What is... purgatory?"0

Yanshu: "..."0

Right, she had forgotten that cremation wasn't a thing in this era yet.0

She could only patiently explain to him, "The original meaning of this term refers to a place where, after death, a person's body needs to be burned to ashes before burial. That place of burning is called a crematorium."0

Hearing this, Yuwen Lan was even more surprised. "There are actually such places? I've never heard of this... Where exactly is this place?"0

Yanshu: "..."0

The more she explained, the more troublesome it became.0

She could only gloss over it, saying, "It's just in a very far away place... Nevermind, that's not important. Your Majesty just needs to understand my meaning."0

Then she seriously summarized, "In short, as the male lead in a romance-focused story, he can't have any flaws at all. Otherwise, he'll be cursed to death by readers, and even I would be cursed."0

Yuwen Lan: "... Is that really how it is?"0

Yanshu nodded with a pitiful expression, "Isn't it? It's not easy for storytellers to make a living."0

— Not only would they be cursed, but at this time there was no concept of copyright. Countless people would secretly plagiarize and resell their work. Most storytellers' painstakingly written words weren't even enough to maintain three meals a day. It was really quite difficult, wuwu...0

Yuwen Lan, who had been silently listening: "..."0

He could only try to comfort her, "If it's really that difficult, why don't you just stop writing?"0

But he saw her immediately shake her head, "No way. I've finally found something I'm interested in. How could I give up because of such a small thing? As long as there's even one person reading, I'll keep writing."0

Hearing this, Yuwen Lan suddenly smiled and said, "If there's only one person reading, that person will definitely be me."0

Ahem, he was her first reader, and would also be her last.0

After he spoke, he saw Yanshu pause, then smile and say, "Thank you, Your Majesty."0

[That's true. Even if there's only one left, selling one story to him for 150 taels is still very profitable!!!]0

Yuwen Lan: "???"0

Two days after the Marchioness of Zhenhai arrived in the capital, it was finally time for the Empress Dowager's Thousand Autumns Festival.0

Although the Empress Dowager had specifically instructed not to burden the people or waste resources, it couldn't stop the emperor's filial piety. He specially ordered the Court of Imperial Sacrifices and the Court of Imperial Entertainments to prepare a grand banquet in the palace.0

Today's etiquette was complicated. Yanshu got up early, went through her makeup and dressing routine, then headed to the Palace of Benevolent Peace.0

When she arrived, she had just finished paying her respects to the Empress Dowager when the emperor also arrived.0

She saw him dressed in a vermilion dragon robe, his black hair tied up high, wearing a golden crown. He looked festive yet handsome, very pleasing to the eye.0

— Actually, the two of them had been together until just before getting dressed.0

But in just an hour, Yanshu felt her eyes light up at the sight of him.0

At this moment, everyone in the hall knelt down to pay respects, shouting "Long live the Emperor!" Yuwen Lan gently said "Rise" and took the opportunity to glance at Yanshu, his dignified expression containing a hint of laughter in his eyes.0

Hmm, in just an hour, she had transformed from a sleepy girl with messy hair into such a radiant and elegant beauty.0

As he was admiring her, he heard her think to herself, [Look at how serious he looks now. Who would imagine how clingy he was last night? My hand is about to be crippled.]0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

He couldn't help but feel his ears turn red.0

These days... he had indeed been working her... hands quite hard.0

But just five more days of endurance, and it would be fine.0

Realizing his thoughts had wandered, he quickly composed himself and first solemnly paid respects to the Empress Dowager seated on the throne, "I, on behalf of all the people of the empire, respectfully wish Mother Empress good health, long-lasting blessings, and ten thousand years of life."0

As his words fell, everyone in the hall knelt down in unison to pay grand respects, calling out, "We respectfully wish the Empress Dowager good health, long-lasting blessings, and ten thousand years of life."0

The Empress Dowager smiled and said, "Your Majesty is thoughtful. I am very gratified. You may all rise."0

Everyone responded and stood up following the emperor.0

Soon, the guests who had come to pay their respects began to arrive at the palace one after another.0

Yanshu followed the Empress Dowager and the emperor to receive them in the Palace of Benevolent Peace.0

Those entering the palace today were mainly imperial clan members and meritorious officials, especially the Empress Dowager's old ministers.0

The first to enter was the family of the Marquis of Guangyang.0

The Empress Dowager hadn't seen the Marquis of Guangyang for some time. Seeing how thin he had become, she couldn't help but exclaim in surprise, "How has the Marquis of Guangyang lost so much weight? Are you not feeling well?"0

Hearing this, the fifty-something-year-old Marquis of Guangyang hurriedly said, "Thank you for your concern, Empress Dowager. It's probably because of the hot weather lately. I haven't had much appetite, so I've lost some weight. There's nothing major wrong, please don't worry."0

Only then did the Empress Dowager nod slightly.0

Yanshu secretly tsked to herself. This man's pica had been getting worse lately. He'd been secretly eating calligraphy paper in his study all day. People aren't earthworms - they can't absorb nutrients from paper. Of course he'd lost weight.0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

He had almost forgotten this man loved to eat calligraphy paper...0

Tsk, it's truly hard to imagine that smell.0

Feeling somewhat sympathetic, he spoke up, "If the Marquis of Guangyang feels unwell, he should seek medical attention promptly. Don't hesitate to treat an illness."0

However, the Marquis of Guangyang didn't catch the hint, and instead responded with an expression of unexpected delight, thinking to himself, [His Majesty is specifically concerned about me? It seems His Majesty values me quite highly!!!]0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

Forget it, perhaps I should find a way to hint at this to his family members someday.0

As he was thinking this, he saw the Grand Princess and the Imperial Son-in-law arrive, followed by their son and daughter-in-law, and daughter and son-in-law - the whole family.0

"We wish the Empress Dowager blessings as vast as the Eastern Sea and longevity like the Southern Mountains."0

The Grand Princess was the late emperor's elder sister, which made her the Empress Dowager's elder cousin. At this moment, she led her large group in paying respects to the Empress Dowager, who politely replied, "Elder sister, there's no need for such formality. Please, have a seat."0

Yanshu's attention, however, was on the Grand Princess's daughter, Ankang county lord, and her husband Yao Junliang.0

She had met Ankang county lord a few times before, but this was the first time she had seen her husband. She discreetly glanced at him and noticed that this County Magistrate Yao was completely different from the Grand Princess's former Imperial Son-in-law, Zhao Chengwen. He was a burly man with bright eyes.0

She had heard that he was once the third-place winner in the military examinations, and now held the position of Deputy Commander in the Capital Guard. He seemed quite capable.0

Yanshu inwardly clicked her tongue, thinking that this County Magistrate probably didn't know about Ankang county lord's visit to Ruyi Brothel, right? If he knew, with those muscles, wouldn't he tear the brothel apart?0

System: [That's right, he doesn't know yet. The Capital Guard has been changing shifts these past few days, and he's been so busy he hasn't been home for several days.]0

Yanshu: [...That sounds a bit pitiful. But come to think of it, this County Magistrate seems like a decent person. I heard he doesn't have any concubines or bedmaids in his household. Why would Ankang county lord go to Ruyi Brothel?]0

System: [Some men appear normal on the surface but actually get up several times a night. Last year, during a military drill, the County Magistrate accidentally fell off his horse and injured that area. Although it's not a major problem, he's become somewhat less confident. Ankang county lord is at a passionate age... she's feeling a bit lonely. However, her visit to Ruyi Brothel only happened in the past couple of days. So far, she's only been window shopping, nothing serious yet.]0

Yanshu: [...So the county lord hasn't done anything serious yet? It seems this couple still has feelings for each other. By the way, shouldn't the County Magistrate go see Doctor Jiang? Someone who could even cure the emperor should find this a piece of cake.]0

Yuwen Lan, who had been silently listening nearby: "..."0

Why was he suddenly mentioned again?0

He had recovered many days ago... Couldn't they stop bringing up past events?0

But come to think of it, so Yao Junliang was injured last year...0

Considering he's a talented person and loyal to the court, he really should be recommended to see Jiang Nianqi.0

...0

As he was thinking this, he saw Princess Yuwen Yan arrive.0

Beside her was her daughter, five-year-old Lan Jun.0

The little girl was fair and pretty, innocent and adorable since she was young.0

Regardless of what her parents were like, Yuwen Lan, as her uncle, was very fond of this niece.0

However, at this moment, he saw that the little girl's eyes were red, with tears still hanging on her eyelashes. As she entered the hall, her eyes timidly scanned the surroundings, completely unlike her usual lively self.0

Before Yuwen Lan could speak, the Empress Dowager had already asked, "What's wrong with Lan Jun?"0

Yuwen Yan replied with an impatient expression, "Mother, you don't know, this girl has become increasingly difficult to manage lately. Just now, as soon as we got off the carriage, she started fussing about her little toy again. It's truly infuriating. I scolded her a bit. She's so unreasonable, becoming more and more like those Zhao people."0

The Empress Dowager rebuked, "Don't ever mention such things again! Children are naturally unstable in their emotions, and she's recently gone through sudden changes. It's normal for her to cry and fuss a bit. How can you, as a mother, be so impatient?"0

She then beckoned to the little girl, "Come, Lan Jun, come to grandmother."0

Hearing this, the little girl timidly glanced at her mother, and seeing no objection, she dared to comply and went to the Empress Dowager's side.0

The Empress Dowager gave the little one a piece of pastry, which she obediently started to eat without crying or fussing.0

Yuwen Lan, observing this, also said to Yuwen Yan, "Lan Jun is elder sister's child. No matter what her father is like, it has nothing to do with her. Elder sister should understand this principle."0

Yuwen Yan responded with a "yes," but then added resentfully, "Does Your Majesty think I have a heart of stone? It's just that this girl has been crying and fussing terribly lately. How can I not be mentally and physically exhausted?"0

Yanshu listened silently on the side, inwardly clicking her tongue. It's normal for a child to cry and fuss a bit when she suddenly loses her father and feels unadjusted. But the Princess's household doesn't lack wet nurses or maids, and the Grand Princess didn't used to take care of the child much, so how did she suddenly become so mentally and physically exhausted?0

Ahem, could it be that the top-ranked male prostitute has drained her energy?0

System: [That's about right. The reputation of the top-ranked male prostitute isn't for nothing. But the Grand Princess isn't lying either. She's been under the influence of Love-Inducing Powder these past few days, so she really is mentally and physically exhausted.]0

Yanshu was startled, [??? What on earth is Love-Inducing Powder?]0

System: [It's a kind of aphrodisiac similar to a date rape drug.]0

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