One Moo'r Plow

Book 1: Chapter 35: Vengeance upon thee, taxman

Momentary shock compelled both the taxman and I to freeze in place as we took in each others presence. I recovered faster. Superhumanly fast, the man flowed backwards and slammed the door closed, or so was his vain attempt. Gareks reflexes triggered on instinct, and my massive hand closed around his scrawny shoulder. A yelp of surprise and pain sang from a constricted throat as I yanked the charlatan back into the office he was attempting to vacate.

Remembering that you have to be somewhere? I smiled through bared teeth, hot breath washing over the mans face as I yanked him close. I must inform you that has just been superseded.

With a grunt, I roughly navigated the shocked human into the chair I had occupied heartbeats earlier. He protested my kindness, but a clamped hand and a flex of my muscles stifled those outbursts.

Several moments of deep, measured breaths worked to calm the anger that simmered beneath my otherwise calm facade. A task that was far more challenging than it seemed. This man was, directly and indirectly responsible for many of my problems. The sleep I lost at night when I remembered the men I had killed, my frustrations in trying to do business in Hullbretch. The hole I had myself into in perpetual wariness of the baron coming to collect when the man likely hadnt even known I existed before the incident at the stables.

Silence reigned here, broken only by the elderly man methodically filing away papers, very few fucks given that I had just restrained an enforcer of the barons laws in his very presence.

Call the gua- The man yelped out words that turned into a cry of pain as I squeezed. I could smell the fear that boiled inside him now, and part of me enjoyed it.

If and when the watch is called, it wont be for me. I rumbled. My form filled a large portion of the space inside this room as I loomed over the human, my words chosen carefully. Anger pulled at my emotions, but I refused to relinquish the reins. Instead, slowly, thoughtfully, I selected my words of accusation.

Some time ago now, you approached my farm and demanded I pay you a hefty fee for a debt left behind by the farms previous owner.

I did no su- Again, I brought pressure down on his shoulder and cut off anything he intended to say.

Silence. I snorted.

Time is Money. I havent got all day. The man blurted, and I stepped back with a blink. Why yes, he made sense with that. My thoughts sped up and I blinked and tried to make sense of what I was going to say. Everything but running so quickly now, and I shook my head in confusion. I was holding up everyone here. I needed to make a decision quickly.

It seems the brute has been struck speechless. The taxman stood and began to walk towards the door. If that is all, then-

With a roar, I broke out of the Skills effect, grabbed the man and physically heaved him into the air. Anger boiled through me now, heated and ready to overflow. My eyes bulged as I barely held back the boundless rage within and kept myself from ripping this puny, arrogant manthing in twain.

Use another Skill on me. I snarled. And it will be the last thing you ever try.

A dusty cough interrupted me and the older taxman waved a sheaf of paper at me with a disdainful look. At me, the man in my grip or the situation at large, I couldnt tell.

Could we at least attempt some semblance of civility here? He sighed and rubbed at weary temples. If it is not beyond you two.

Names. I demanded. If Im to accuse anyone, I would like to know what theyre actually called.

I am Dalarius. The old man shrugged. And the man in your grasp is Thodic. Who also, coincidently, was given the undeserved fortune of being the magistrates spawn.

I nodded sagely, having decided on an equal distribution of fucks to give. None divided void was still null, after all.

Superhuman was the effort required to force a smile upon my face, but I managed it. Somehow.

Well then, seeing as we are already acquainted, we can skip further pleasantries and get right to the meat of the unique quandary I find myself in. It took physical effort from myself not to let righteous wrath consume my actions and squeeze this greasy sack of feigned humanity until the juices ran from his wrung-out body. Although I had already recounted my tale, it gave me no insignificant amount of pleasure as I retold it, this time from a position of power, not victimhood. How quickly the tides of fate turned.

I was but a fresh-faced arrival to this good land, when, lo and behold, I am greeted by a man who comes to my doorstep in name of the baron that rules these lands and demands my coin. An inherited debt, tied to the land now mine, he claims. And when I refuse, he sends thugs to beset my in attempt to take what is rightfully mine through force, then runs like a coward when they fail.

But that was not, as Id hoped, the end of the charade. Mere hours afterwards, a special status was applied to me. One that has caused me great headaches, meddled with my business and contributed towards making enemies. All for what? I snarled into the leechs face. Because I didnt roll over like some rube and let you shake me down?

My hand closed around the humans throat as weeks of repressed anger bubbled to the surface. By some grace, I managed to stop myself from snapping his throat like a twig. I was a peaceful man, not a monster.

But he didnt know that.

You thought it was clever, didnt you? Some final fuck you to a farmer who refused to go along with your robbery. Thats what it was. Nothing less than bald-faced attempted burglary. First through treachery, and then force.

In the name of- Was as far as he got before my grip cut off all air to his lungs. I could feel the soft, crushable flesh beneath my grasp, and temptation sung for me to repay this scum for the troubles he had inflicted upon me and mine.

The next word you be your last. I rumbled quietly, deathly serious.

Do you have any proof in regards to your claims? Dalarius sighed, and I whirled towards him. Not because I disbelieve you, but because any allegation you make against a relation of the magistrate will require actual evidence.

I did not. I also did not possess the capability to care. With a grunt, I turned back to the pathetic worm that reeked of fear in my grasp.

That status. Remove it. Now. Breath a single excuse as to why you cannot, and may the Gods Above help me, I will tear your stem from stern, here and now.

The only movement from the man was the quivers of fright that danced within his eyes. A hand that trembled with erratic motion gestured towards the desk, and I eased aside. With a pinched frown, Dalarius slid him a piece of paper and a quill, freshly dipped in ink.

Suspicious gaze peering over the mans shoulder, I watched as he quickly scribbled out a notice, then snatched it from his grasp once finished.

This decree signifies that Farmer Garek has paid his dues and is now freed from his bond as a Tax Evader. Witnessed and signed by Thodic Greatmoor. Paid his fucking dues? I roared in his face. I have owed you no fucking dues that I am forced to give you my coin.

Tax Evader status lifted. The system informed me of this change even as I raged.

Now. Dalarius interrupted. Proof.

My grasp held firm round the worms throat as I shivered in anger.

I can provide you little. came the stark admittance. His word against mine, with scant few other witnesses. Thugs in the barons livery or his actual guards, I know not.

You mentioned that you repulsed an attack. Were there any casualties?

I slew two of them and kept their horses.

If they were truly the barons men, their saddlebags would have contained items and the like that told you so. Did you search them?

I had not. They sat forgotten at the back of my storage shed back home, and I admitted as such.

Then we will require other ways to extract the truth. Dalarius binked and ran a hand through his receded hairline. I have long suspected foul play and mishandling of the law here in Hullbretch. But Thodics actions today have given me confirmation. This will be..dealt with. The baron has ways of making men talk, and I suspect he will not be fond of extortioners roaming his land and turning the citizens against him by using his good name.

The taxmans eyes widened and pleas squeaked from his throat and Dalarius gestured to me.

Good day, mister Garek. he sniffed, and I realized this was him letting me bow out of this mess. Please send in the guards, if you would be so kind.

I took some solace in that Ironmoor would inflict much worse on this man than I could ever bring myself to as I straightened and released my grip on the whimpering man. Contempt writ upon my face, I spat on his fancy shit and saw myself out. A group of armed guards awaited me as I emerged back into the sunlight, and I smiled and directed them through. They had come for bloodshed or to make an arrest, but I suspected the end result was not what they had expected.

Now, I had an alchemist to visit.

The bell rung behind me as I strode into Walchs Royal Alchemy, now entirely without the brand of a nefarious evader of taxes.

He returns. The short, bald man grunted from his stool behind the counter.Got rid of that status yet or fixin' to pay me double anyway?

Its gone. I smiled, teeth bared and lips thin. Fate dealt me a rather surprising hand.

Good, good. Now, what among my many wares catches your eye?

The shopping could come later. With a grunt, I strode up to the counter and carefully set down a large bag or neatly arranged, well-cushioned glass jars. A week's worth of acid extract, the gathering of which had signed more than a few hairs off my arms.

Tell me, are you in the market for a certain liquid able to eat through steel, bones and flesh alike?

The perk of his features and coy look was all the confirmation I needed. There was coin to be made here and now.

Perhaps. He murmured, trying his best not to seem too interested in the bags contents. His scent betrayed the cool, measured look upon his face. I smelled excitement. But I would need a demonstration of this acids effectiveness before I would even deem it worth my time.

Have you anything you would not greatly miss once gone?

He did indeed, and a moment later, a preserved, feathered tentacle end was dropped into a freshly unsealed jar of acid. The man watched in fascinated horror as it visibly dissolved before his eyes. A fascination quickly replaced by want and the smell of need.

How much? he demanded.

Ten gold coins per jar.

Walch -or so I assumed his name was- squawked and clutched at his breast, his face painted by a wounded expression.

You would rob of my home and goods? Beggar me until I am unable to put food upon my own table? He exclaimed. Three gold coins a jar. A fair offer you would receive in any reputable establishment even in the largest cities.

Eight. I countered. This is a rare, dangerous commodity, and we both know it. Youll not find another who can provide you with such a resource the world over.

You rip the food from the mouths of my children! he cried, and then cast around his gaze and arms. Have you no mercy, no spirit of support for your local alchemist? Five gold pieces for a jar, and I shall have to flee from the debt collectors for months to come!

No. Six, and throw in some magical items of my choice.

The hand that snaked out to shake mine moved as lightning, and before I could blink, the man was counting gold onto the countertop from a remarkably fat wallet. I checked them as he presented the pile, bit into one, and found it solid. Moments later, my business concluded and with several items of note tucked into a bag he had the audacity to charge me for, I exited the alchemists shop and set off for the carpenters store.

Just a single stop for building supplies, and I could begin to embark on my journey back home. The day had gone much better than I expected so far, and I prayed that this luck would hold for as long as possible. Little could sour this day, no matter how the world might try.

A crack of thunder across the suddenly-clouded sky reminded me that to tempt fate was hubris, and the gods laughed at my arrogance. Hurry in my step, I jogged along, the road ahead suddenly promising to be long and remarkably wet.

Oh joy.

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