Chapter 46: Knock Knock
This again? Either they really don’t like having evil humans around or they really wanted Roland’s soldiers sacrificed to the gnolls. Or maybe it’s both.
Zarian looked up at their third challenge of the day.
First there was Lord Archibald at the lookout fortress. Then there was another lord at the farming village fortress.
Now, after reaching Central Bramblevale, the sunset shining orange and red behind the massive walls and tall stone towers, Zarian’s party and Roland’s soldiers were ready to call it a night.
But Central Bramblevale was lit up brightly with huge magic torches along the ramparts and on the rooftops of thick towers. Thousands of men, armed with a plethora of weapons and skills, looked coldly down at Zarian’s and Roland’s group two thousand feet away from the gate. A vast assortment of siege weapons pointed in their direction.
Bramblevale Lord Cassian of Paxton was the highest power in this part of the frontier. All the nobles of Central Bramblevale, the local fortress farming villages, and the adjacent fortress lookouts listened to him. He was a cousin of the Eternal Garden King, apparently.
Among the rankings of Rose Nobles, Lord Cassian was considered a High Rose, which was a big deal. Archibald and the farming village lord were considered Mid Roses, which granted them moderate levels of power and luxuries.
Roland was a Low Rose, which was looked down on as trashy nobles who achieved nobility recently. Roland and others like him weren’t born into nobility. They had to work their way up through great deeds, by buying land, or by being an army officer.
People below trashy Low Roses were servants of the nobles and royals or licensed merchants and tradesmen. The Eternal Garden Kingdom ran on something similar to a feudal system since the start of the Dark Era. They had 1500 years of practice in stepping on those at the bottom.
Zarian wasn’t a fan, but he wasn’t here to lead a revolution. He was here to set up his party’s foundations and accomplish some tasks that would lead to Foodie’s freedom.Still, a part of Zarian’s Fractured Mind found it interesting how he was more focused on the freedom of one little goblin instead of the freedom and equity of an entire population of humans held down by tyrannical nobles.
Is that because I’m evil +2 or is that because I’m weird?
Zarian wasn’t sure.
But he had little time to contemplate that as Lord Cassian boomed from the ramparts above the main gate. The king’s cousin used some magic or enchanted device for his voice to carry across thousands of feet of distance.
“Roland of Wood, you’ve brought great shame to your people!” roared Lord Cassian. “Instead of fighting for the security and safety of the Eternal Garden Kingdom, you’ve secured your own safety by sacrificing young men to the hunger of gnolls, made deals with great evil, and spread lies of false goodness above that of the king’s!”
Lord Cassian was on a roll, and he wouldn’t let anyone speak their side. “I denounce you in front of all the nobles and the people who serve to see our beautiful kingdom reign gloriously under the light of our good gods!”
Zarian’s party was standing around him at the front of the formation. Roland was there as well. He looked distraught and beaten, lacking the do-gooder enthusiasm he’d shown when they first met.
He was only twenty, after all, a year younger than Zarian. The other soldiers were still in their teens.
“Zarian,” Bianca called from behind him. “How can they be good and lie so much?”
Zarian took his time to think about it. “Maybe good and evil aren’t so straightforward as we think. Just like how I’m evil, but I still help people now and then.”
“We can talk philosophy later. The stinking politician on the wall has us where he wants us. He ain’t shooting just yet, but he might start shooting soon.” Naomi sounded like she was ready to storm the beaches of Normandy. “What are we doing now, sir?”
“What are we doing, you say? Hm. Hopefully not much. We will see later. It’s time I make a trade,” Zarian said.
“A trade?” Roland raised his head. “What trade? Lord Cassian would see us dead once he ordered the siege weapons to fire down at us! Is it me that must be traded? What have I done wrong?”
Roland gripped his head. He was freaking out. “I don’t understand what this is all about? Why do they keep saying I’ve sacrificed my men to feed the gnolls? All I’ve wanted to do is serve the kingdom and be the best Rose Noble I can be!”
Roland looked like he was about to break. His eyes stuck to Zarian, as if he wanted to lay all of his problems at the black wizard’s feet.
Roland wouldn’t be exactly wrong if he did. A lot of this was Zarian’s fault, good and bad.
“There are two options,” Zarian said. “Either I hit them so hard they think twice. Or I make a trade.”
“Hit them,” Naomi said.
“Can we choose a third option?” Hannah asked.
“Can I try being the third option?” Bianca offered. “Maybe if I’m fast enough, I can reach Lord Cassian in time and convince him to stand down.”
“I don’t think you’re ready to solo an army, Bianca,” Zarian said. “Good +3 can only carry you so far.”
“Maybe one day I will be,” Bianca murmured.
Gilbert took his time, stroking his chin. “Every now and then, chief, you give something up to gain more back. Yeah, you could do a whole heap of damage and massacre these people, but then what? We need rest. We need to research. We need some time to settle down before we go hard on the next adventure.”
Gilbert placed his hand on Zarian’s shoulder, all big brother like. “I know this is a lot to ask, but let’s avoid the bloodshed. For now.”
Zarian looked up at Gilbert and felt surprised. For this once, Gilbert’s argument actually had an effect. Huh … is this what it’s like to have a wiser big brother?
Zarian felt … weird about that. Granted, Gilbert had undergone some changes the past couple of days, becoming more enthusiastic, more in tune with the world.
Ever since he’d started working with the young soldiers, Gilbert became more lively.
Weird. So weird.
Zarian decided to follow Gilbert’s advice, which wasn’t much of a compromise, anyway. He’d been working up to this for the past couple of days.
This was the perfect time to unleash an unexpected twist on the so-called do-gooders of a good aligned human kingdom.
“Hey, Lovewar, you want to be the other godly benefactor?” Zarian asked casually. “Here’s your test. Help us get into that town peacefully regardless of how much of a dick Lord Cassian is.”
“Impossible!” Roland shouted, tossing aside all pretense of being subordinate to them. Even his soldiers looked at Zarian’s party as crazy, suicidal, mad people.
Roland roared: “Lovewar can’t support you! Not against her own people. We are at a loss, and the best we can do is flee from here. The only reason Lord Cassian hasn’t shot down at us is to see us run into the forest instead of wasting precious siege ammunition.”
Zarian chuckled. “It’s because you’re supposed to finish being slaughtered by the gnolls as a sacrifice of the kingdom.”
“What?” Roland was flabbergasted.
“You are sacrifices. The Mid Roses and High Roses know it. They want to chase you away so you can finish being sacrificed. That’s why there was so much posturing.”
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Zarian pulled back his hood as the sunset deepened, and the shadows grew longer. He revealed his face, his sharp smile, and void-like eyes.
Roland and his nearest soldiers shuddered.
Zarian continued: “They don’t know we’ve dealt with that problem already. And they don’t know that we have a legendary achievement calling Bianca and me Heroes of the Eternal Garden Kingdom.”
“But that still doesn’t mean Good Goddess Lovewar will answer to your beck and call,” Roland said, deflated.
“Let’s see if I got the charisma for it.” Zarian laughed, striding forward, his parasitic cloak flapping dramatically behind him.
He didn’t care if people thought everything he’d achieved and could do was unlikely, against the rules, or even impossible. He was a Darkrun, and by the power of his name, he was the type to make the impossible possible.
“So, how about it, Lovewar?” Zarian called out, arms spread. “You’ll have to share space with Shadowfell, but looking at how our party is uniquely made, it only makes sense. Or do you want to give this up? Because next on my list is Serveserf, since he sounds like a chill god.”
There were seven good gods.
Purgehunt and Purehome were the oldest among the good gods.
The Purgehunt God was all about purging and hunting monsters. The Purehome Goddess was all about purity and sanctity of a home.
Anything that didn’t belong under Purgehunt and Purehome’s classical good grace needed to be removed. No matter what Zarian did, they would hate him and want him eradicated.
Lawkeep was a stickler for rules, and Zarian was a little too anti-rules for them to work together.
Hopeland was the type that wanted to provide belief and faith to everyone, even when faced with horrible acts of evil. Sometimes, she even provided hope for those on the other side of good.
The problem with her was how addicting hope could be, which would be disastrous for Bianca. Hopeland could be more dangerous than Purgehunt and Purehome, which made Zarian wary of that goddess.
Serveserf lived up to his name as a god who was down with the people. Unfortunately, he was considered the weakest god, so nobody really took him seriously other than the downtrodden.
Zarian liked Serveserf’s vibe anyway, since he came from downtrodden origins.
Kingsblood was an asshole, enough said.
Then there was Lovewar. From what Zarian had heard so far, she lived up to her name. She was also claimed to be … uniquely different compared to most good gods. Some soldiers would joke how Lovewar was mostly good while partially evil.
“On my count of three!” roared Lord Cassian.
“I’m killing Lord Cassian in two,” Zarian said. “So, you got one second to respond, Lovewar.”
“One,” Zarian and Cassian said at the same time.
Before they reached two, a shining treasure chest appeared with a slam in front of Zarian, and the reality of the world tilted. The fundamental nature of the world’s magic became lesser. Something greater, higher, bigger made itself known.
The thunder of a million swords clashing with a million shields resonated across Central Bramblevale and beyond. The whistling of ten million arrows swishing through the air resounded next. The roar of a hundred million men shouting, dying, screaming, crying while surrounded by the chaos of war reached every ear and shook the earth.
The presence of Lovewar pressed upon the entire area, and almost every man fell to their knees.
Except for Zarian and his party.
They remained standing, unaffected.
The divine treasure chest pulsated with an inviting glow. Zarian swaggered up to it and flipped the lid open.
He reached in and picked up a divine note written by the goddess herself. He read it aloud for everyone to hear, his voice overlaid by a divine and feminine voice.
Hey!
Thanks for choosing me! This is exciting! You’re stirring up things that’ve stagnated down there for so long I find it pathetic.
So, yeah, I’ll stop them from being a bother to you for now. It won’t last for long, but it’ll get you inside long enough to do what you gotta do.
All I ask is if you can, y’know, whip up a civil war for me. Civil wars are fun, yeah? YEAH!
The Eternal Garden Kingdom, as it is right now, is freaking lame! I hate it!
So please please please start a civil war once you’re done with your stuff in Bramblevale and about to leave. I’ll love that a lot!
You don’t even have to be all political about it. When you’re ready to get your evil hands bloody, and I know you do, don’t deny it, someone will give you a list of bastard nobles to kill before you go.
Then everything will fall into place from there … well, maybe. It depends. You’ll probably have to deal with the other gods and their followers trying to get in the way.
They don’t like me too much. I’m just too REAL for some of them.
Again, thanks for choosing me! And I’m on decent terms with Shadowfell anyway. I think she’s weird and too somber. And she should stop reading so much trashy tragedy romances! But she kinda matches my energy for some reason. So, this works out!
With love and war,
The one known as Battle Queen, Passion Blade, The Good Goddess Lovewar!
Zarian chuckled, finding the enthusiasm in Lovewar’s divine message to be perfectly on point with him. He was glad Hannah had done the research, and that Lovewar had approved him the second most behind Shadowfell.
Meanwhile, all the siege weapons lost their mystical glow and stopped working. Cassian lost his voice and valor.
The giant drawbridge covering the main gate dropped over the massive moat surrounding Central Bramblevale. Heavy chains and gears turned on their own, pulling up the gate, allowing access to Zarian’s people regardless of mortal concerns.
Zarian turned around and looked back at his party, Roland, and his soldiers.
“I think I might’ve found a new religion,” Naomi said, nodding in satisfaction. “Lovewar Goddess, huh? I like her.”
“Can we start the civil war after I get what I need from their library?” Hannah asked.
“We’re balanced! We’re balanced!” Bianca twirled around, her beautiful elven dress flowing with her.
“I feel like I screwed up somehow,” Gilbert said. “I should’ve kept my mouth shut. What was I thinking? Me? Trying to be reasonable in an unreasonable world? God, help me.”
“You’re going to start a civil war?” Roland asked, pale in the face.
“You want to go against the will of Lovewar?” Zarian asked. “For a kingdom who tried to sacrifice you and your men to gnolls?”
Roland struggled to find anything to say back.
“Yeah, I know. I’m impossible. You’re around a guy who has two goddesses sending him direct messages.” Zarian howled with laughter, all evil and sinister.
A gold notification specific to him appeared, which led to even more laughter. Because it just made everything all the better.
He wasn’t holding anything back. He wasn’t hiding right now. He was boldly knocking on the door, and the System recognized that.
<Achievement rewarded! Divine Knock Knock (Unopened)!>
<Achievement opened!>
<Divine Knock Knock (Divine): You’ve called in the Good Goddess Lovewar to open the door without shedding any blood. That’s very unexpected. Thus, your reward: 10 high value levels you can distribute as you please.>
<Choose who to give a high value level up: 10>
Zarian didn’t even think about it for long. He turned and pointed at three of his people one by one. “Hannah, five levels. Gilbert, three levels. Naomi, two levels.”
Just like that, they all hit Level 29.
Hannah stumbled, nearly falling over, a moan escaping her before she covered her mouth. She shivered, struggling to speak, while the others adjusted to their new levels. Finally, Hannah found her voice.
“How?” she asked.
“Divine achievement,” Zarian said. “The System gave me levels I can distribute. And they’re high value levels, so you get the maxed growth in vitality with each, I guess.”
Roland let out a strangled cry.
Zarian chuckled. “Awesome, right?”
Naomi walked over and punched him on his shoulder.
“Ow! What was that for?”
Naomi nodded. “I thought you became a god. Unless you’re trying to trick us.”
Zarian shook his head at the silly woman. Bianca cheered for everyone’s new levels while Gilbert kept gawking about, trying to make sense of it all with his old world faith.
Roland and his soldiers were burnt out, barely able to keep up. Zarian shrugged and led the way forward, uncontested as Lovewar’s divine presence remained hanging over them all.
Zarian and his companions strolled across the drawbridge and into Central Bramblevale. A young woman rushed across a cleared lane, introduced herself as an acolyte of Lovewar, and led them to their lodgings.
Zarian nearly had a heart attack from the sheer joy of seeing a nice manor in a spacious compound with plenty of rooms and baths. The manor even came with people ready to serve them. The grassy lawn outside had enough space for Roland and his soldiers to camp.
Then, after washing up, Zarian’s party had dinner, a round of drinks, and went to bed for the night while still under Lovewar’s divine protection. The sanctuary might not last for too long, but for tonight, they were untouchable.
Zarian dreamed pleasantly of eating delicious food made by the Strong Cook Prodigy. Strangely, while he ate his endless fill, he was also watching arrogant nobles drown or get eaten up in a bottomless quagmire.
He noticed a small presence in his dream. Ariana was sitting at the dining table with her little legs kicking. She smiled at him.
“Keep going, Big Bro,” Ariana said. “You keep throwing off predictions. The lords and gods are struggling to get ahead of you and move their pieces into place. I love it.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet.” Zarian reached over and patted her head. Since this was a dream, his hands were clean, no crumb or grease stuck to them. “I’m just getting started.”
Ariana giggled, letting go of her mature attitude, acting like his little baby sister again. Damn, she was so adorable.
Regardless of her secrets and hidden power and godly connections, Zarian liked his role as her big brother. And as the big brother, he had to be the best at whatever he did.
If only the dream stayed like this. The mood changed when Ariana said, “I wonder how long it’ll take before you actually break something.”
Zarian paused. “Isn’t that what I’m doing already?”
“You alone are the Honored Outsider.”
The dream ended.
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