Please Confess to Me

***

In a bright and early morning, two people and a dog were running through a street covered in gingko leaves.

"Here." Seeing the crystalline sweat beads on Shen Xi's ruddy skin, Su Hang offered her a sweat towel.

"Thank you." Shen Xi accepted the towel and wiped away her sweat. Afterward, she handed it back to the man.

Su Hang retied the towel on his wrist, a light laugh escaping the corners of his mouth. Ever since Shen Xi started running with him, he had made a habit of bringing a towel during their morning runs.

"What are you laughing at?" Shen Xi doubtfully asked.

"Ah?" Su Hang blinked. "What?"

"I asked you what you were laughing at." Shen Xi repeated.

"Me?" Su Hang seemed a little in disbelief. "Did I laugh?"

"Silly!" Shen Xi found his stupefied expression funny. But after a quick glance, she turned her back on Su Hang and continued her run.

"Woof!" Chu Wu saw his Mom start to run back home. Thinking of all the delicious meat and bones waiting for him, Chu Wu excitedly followed, barking non-stop as he did so.

After seeing such a scene, the corners of Su Hang's mouth once again rose uncontrollably.

Was this happiness? To have a smile on your face without even realizing it.

After breakfast, Shen Xi and Su Hang went out of the front door together.

Su Hang was going to work as usual, while Shen Xi was going to the orphanage to deliver supplies.

Shen Xi doesn't usually wear extravagant clothes on regular days, but today, her clothes were much simpler. Maybe it was because she was going to an orphanage, but instead of wearing her usual coat, Shen Xi was wearing a black down jacket. Instead of a designer bag, she had a gray shoulder bag slung across her shoulder, containing a bunch of snacks she had asked Mrs. Zhang to buy for her in the supermarket yesterday.

"Going to the orphanage today?" Su Hang asked.

"Un." Shen Xi opened her car door and put her bag on the passenger seat.

"Have fun." Su Hang said.

"Will do!" Thinking of the invitation the children had sent her, Shen Xi couldn't help but smile.

Su Hang nodded and got in his car. He looked at Shen Xi in his rearview mirror and thought: This time, I'll let you go first. But I'll definitely take you next time.

Shen Xi watched Su Hang drive away, and turned to set off. She said her goodbyes to Mrs. Zhang, rubbed Chu Wu in the head, then entered her car and drove off. Shen Xi planned to drive the car to the foundation first, and then go to the orphanage together with the volunteers. Otherwise, her million-dollar luxury car parked next to the orphanage will be on the headlines tomorrow.

"You've arrived?" Li Ye saw Shen Xi come in and greeted her.

"I hope I'm not late." She had been stuck in traffic partway through her drive to the foundation, and Shen Xi was worried that she had delayed the departure time.

"No, we've just finished loading the supplies." Because the Qing'an orphanage wasn't that large, there weren't as many supplies needed to be sent. They only needed to rent a van for the volunteers and a small truck for the supplies. "You'll sit together with the other volunteers in the van."

"Alright." Shen Xi confirmed where the van would be and nodded her head. She raised her hand to reposition her shoulder bag, and as she did so, her diamond ring flashed against the sun, creating a dazzling light.

As Li Ye's eyes narrowed at the bright light and he suddenly remembered something. He recalled that Su Hang, Shen Xi's husband, stayed at an orphanage at some point. Curious, he asked: "Didn't Mr. Su grow up in an orphanage?"

"Yeah." Shen Xi didn't know why Li Ye suddenly asked this question, but she still nodded back.

"Was it the city orphanage? I wonder if we funded his orphanage before." Li Ye smiled. "If we ever did, isn't it sort of like fate?"

"I…I didn't ask." Shen Xi had always thought that it might've been a bad experience for Su Hang, and plus, they were married. If she had deliberately mentioned it, Shen Xi was afraid that Su Hang might think into her questions too deeply.

"Let's go!" The driver's hurried voice suddenly shouted out.

"Oh, we're leaving." Shen Xi waved at Li Ye in goodbye, then ran towards the van. The van turned and drove towards the direction of the older parts of the city.

About an hour later, the van arrived at Qing'an orphanage. Its rusty gates were already filled with smiling children, their clothes old and faded, but very clean.

The van stopped directly onto the yard, with the dean of the orphanage immediately stepping up to welcome the volunteers. The people on both sides exchanged warm greetings, and then the volunteers began to help the children move the supplies out of the truck.

Shen Xi was helping to distribute the winter clothes to the children. Every child who received the clothes would sweetly call out 'Thank you, big sister,' making Shen Xi smile happily.

When everything was delivered, the dean got the staff members and some of the older children to bring tea to the volunteers.

"Oh, to be honest, we've seen each other before." Dean Yao suddenly started.

"Really? I'm sorry, but I don't seem to recall." Shen Xi tried to remember their meeting, but she had no memory of it.

"I don't blame you. I blame that guy Su Hang for not give us a good introduction." Dean Yao complained.

Su Hang? Shen Xi was stunned. She looked at Dean Yao, her expression slowly changing. Was it…

"When you and Su Hang got married, I attended the wedding party for the toast. I don't know how that lucky fool managed to marry you, ah, but he did it." The more Dean Yao thought about it, the more amazed he was. She felt like luck wasn't enough to describe Su Hang's incredible fortune.

"That kid said he was going to bring you here for a visit, but in the end, he never managed to. He's always saying he's too busy, too busy…I need to have a good talk with him the next time he comes by." Dean Yao seemed to be dissatisfied with Su Hang and was complaining non-stop.

"Su Hang really has been busy lately." Shen Xi couldn't help but explain.

"I only said two sentences, and you're already distressed?" Dean Yao gave her an ambiguous smile.

"It's not…no." Shen Xi was so embarrassed she didn't know what to say.

"Dean mother, Aunt Liu said it's time for dinner." A seven-year-old boy came running and interrupted their conversation.

"Alright, Little Tao. You can call your other brothers and sisters for dinner." Dean Yao patted the little boy's head kindly. The little boy seemed very happy and nodded his head before running towards the other volunteers to invite them to dinner.

"Let's have dinner first. Afterward, the children will do a performance for you. When they found out you were coming, they practiced hard, you know." With that, Dean Yao brought Shen Xi to dinner.

The orphanage had a simple dining area, with only a few tables and chairs in an open room. The orphanage prepared a special table for the volunteers, but they apparently preferred sitting with the children, so all the tables had both adults and kids.

Shen Xi sat beside Dean Yao and listened to her talk about Su Hang when he was living in the orphanage.

"Truthfully, I wanted to see you not only because of Su Hang, but because I've always wanted to personally thank you." Dean Yao said. "You may not know this, but our orphanage only survived to this day thanks to your Shen Foundation."

"What? Did something happen?" Shen Xi asked.

"We're only a small orphanage, so the government doesn't treat as seriously. Sometimes we get subsidies, sometimes we don't. Either way, the money was never enough for the rate of our spending. I had the children pick up some trash to recycle, and we've also done many local fundraisings. It was only thanks to some good samaritans that we could barely fill the children's' stomachs." Dean Yao sighed. "But we couldn't bear anyone getting sick."

"About ten years ago, the flu swept our orphanage during winter. Our orphanage wasn't in the best condition in the first place, and everyone lived in the same room. If one person got the flu, then it would pass on to everybody. In the end, several children contracted high fevers, and I couldn't take care of them all." Dean Yao thought about that horrible time. "The children were delirious with fever, and I brought them to the hospital, but the orphanage had no money."

"Did Su Hang also get ill?" Shen Xi was concerned. "What happened?"

"Su Hang stayed in relatively good health. After coughing for a few days, he was well enough to stay at the orphanage." Dean Yao answered. "The poor kid was only ten years old, but he had to take care of seven of his brothers and sisters at home alone. Back then, there was only the cook and me to take care of the children. We had to bring all of the seriously ill children to the hospital, so it was Su Hang who stayed in the orphanage and took care of the rest of the kids. They had to find something to eat, but the orphanage had nothing, and neither the cook or I was there."

"Later, I learned that every night, when all his younger brothers and sister were asleep, he would lock the gate and ride his bike to the bakery to ask for some leftover bread. That was how he fed the children." As Dean Yao said this, she couldn't help but feel sad. "Su Hang had been strong ever since he was young. He was different from the other children. Other children would sell meng to get food, but Su Hang didn't want to do that. When he wanted something, he would make money to buy it. When he was seven years old, he would go out and find mineral water bottles to exchange for money. I remember him telling me before that beggars were the ones who asked people for things, and that he wouldn't be a beggar."

(T/N: Meng = cute. The children would act cute to get food.)

"That…." As she listened, Shen Xi's heart was filled with pain.

"The government hadn't sent us our subsidy, and the hospital was chasing us for money, but there was no way for us to pay. I thought about sending the children to other orphanages so they would at least be taken care of, but all the other orphanages were also having a difficult time. No one was willing to accept the children." Dean Yao continued. "But just as I was about to sink into despair, I saw the public service advertisement of the Shen Foundation in the hospital."

"I thought that since I was giving medicine to a dead horse, I might as well try to call. But I never expected your family to send someone over the very next day." Dean Yao said excitedly. "I still remember when that manager named Wang came to the hospital to pay for all the medical expenses. Two volunteers helped take care of the children in the hospital, and food and clothing were sent. From then on, supplies would be sent to the orphanage every year without fail. If it wasn't for you, my orphanage would've been long gone. Those children might've…"

(T/N: to give medicine to a dead horse (idiom) / fig. to keep trying everything in a desperate situation)

"So Shen Xi, I really wanted to thank you for saving the children back then." Dean Yao said.

"Don't say that, Dean."

"No, no, I want to. You don't know…" Dean Yao became even more excited.

"Dean, you've looked after Su Hang for so long, you're considered my elder. If you thank me again, I'll be very stressed." Shen Xi tried to stop her.

"Su Hang is Su Hang, you're you. If it weren't for you…."

"Dean, Su Hang and I are a family now. I should by the one thanking you. Otherwise, he'll be the one tell me off later." Shen Xi tried to use Su Hang as a shield to stop the Dean's excessive thanks.

"He dares! If he dares tell you off, don't think I won't go and scold him!" Dean Yao slammed a hand on the table.

"So, don't thank me anymore, ah?" Shen Xi changed the subject. "Why don't you tell me more about Su Hang's past?"

"Alright. Or why don't I show you Su Hang's old room?" Dean Yao proposed.

Shen Xi naturally agreed, and soon after, the two left the dining room.

Dean Yao took Shen Xi to visit the orphanage rooms, pointing towards the wooden upper bunks and lower bunks. "Su Hang had been sleeping here before he was twelve-years-old. There used to be rusty iron frames here, but with the help of your foundation, we replaced them the year before last."

"And after?" Shen Xi looked around the room. There were eight bunk beds in this less-than-thirty square meter room.

"When Su Hang grew a bit bigger, he moved into the warehouse. We put a small bed there." Dean Yao replied.

"May I have a look?" Shen Xi asked.

"Sure. The small bed is still there. When Su Hang visits sometimes, he stays there." Dean Yao said.

"He stays over?" Shen Xi asked in surprise.

"Yes, he used to come to visit us a few years ago. He hasn't stayed over in the last few years, though. The last time he visited was just before your marriage. We then met again at your wedding party." They soon reached the door of the warehouse.

Dean Yao took out a key from her pocket and unlocked the door. Shen Xi peered inside and finds the warehouse to only be a dozen square meters big. There was a small window on one wall, with cardboard boxes all over the floor. Just underneath the window was an old single bed.

"Su Hang sleeps here." Dean Yao pointed towards the bed.

Because no one had lived in the warehouse for a long time, there was a light layer of dust on the bed. Right next to the bed was a simple wooden table with several books and a pen holder on top of it. Curious, Shen Xi asked: "Are those Su Hang's?"

"Yes, those were the books he used to read." Dean Yao took out a black cover diary from the pile and handed it to Shen Xi. "This was his diary."

"Diary?" Shen Xi looked at the book handed to her and asked: "How can such a private thing be left here?"

"I call it his diary, but there's nothing written in it." Dean Yao laughed. "Su Hang had been boring ever since he was a child. He kept his thoughts firmly hidden in his heart. I was afraid he'd be bored, so I bought this diary for him. I originally hoped that he could vent out his thoughts into paper. Who knew that he wouldn't write anything but dates. But I think those particular dates mean a lot to him."

"I see!"

A sudden knock on the warehouse door interrupted the Dean's next words.

"Dean, the children are going to perform soon." A volunteer from the orphanage called out.

"Oh, yes, I'll be right out." Dean Yao turned back to Shen Xi. "I'm about to get very busy."

"Go ahead, Dean. I'll just stay here for a little while longer." Shen Xi considerately replied.

"Alright. Take your time and meet us when you're ready." Dean Yao didn't insist and, with one last smile towards Shen Xi, ran off.

Alone, Shen Xi looked down at the diary she was holding. Unable to contain her curiosity, she finally gave in and opened the cover.

June 8, 1995, sunny. There was a smiley face next to it.

Shen Xi didn't know what happened that year, but seeing the smiling face, Shen Xi could guess.

December 11, 1995, snowy. There was a frowny face next to it.

Shen Xi thought that Su Hang had experienced trouble that day.

August 20, 1997. Next to it was a drawing of a little girl with two pigtails, crying.

August 21, 1997. Next to it was the same little girl, but this time she was laughing.

These two days…wasn't this Su Hang's first love? Shen Xi gloomily thought.

Shen Xi turned page after page, and as she did so, the childish scrawl began to mature. Finally, she reached a particular page.

September 28, 2017, sunny. This was followed by a smiley face and a sad face.

Was he happy or worried? Shen Xi remembered that this was the day Su Hang had gone to the Shen family home to propose marriage. This was the day she had promised to marry Su Hang.

Shen Xi flipped to the next page.

November 1, 2017, sunny. It was followed by a girl with a sad face and another face with a smile.

November 1st. This was the day they got their marriage certificate. Was the sad girl her? The smiley face was Su Hang?

After looking at the picture for a while, Shen Xi suddenly poked the smiling face with a finger. Half-complaining, she said: "So you were thrilled that day, and you also knew that I was in a bad mood. You knew I wasn't happy, yet you still smile so happily. I'll remember this, ah. Wait for me to settle accounts."

As Shen Xi thought this, she couldn't help laughing. She turned to the last page.

The weather forecast on November 5, 2017, says there's going to be a rainstorm.

Weather forecast? So this page was written in advance. There wasn't any drawing next to it…was it because you didn't know what mood we'd have?

November 5, the day of our wedding. As she looked at the missing half of this particular entry, Shen Xi couldn't help but turn back to the previous page of the diary. She looked at the girl with the bitter face next to the smiley face. Shen Xi took out a pen from the pen holder, placed the diary down on the wooden table, and filled in the gap of the half-finished entry about their wedding.

Shen Xi finished her drawing and looked down at it with satisfaction. She then closed the diary and put it back in its original place. As for what she had drawn? Well, wait until its master comes back and sees it.

After peeping on the small secret in Su Hang's heart, Shen Xi left the room with a smile. She followed the children's singing to the lobby of the orphanage.

The children were performing dances and songs for the volunteers by the gate. Their performances were rough, but everyone was delighted.

The atmosphere was warm, and the volunteers were up on the stage playing with the children. Eventually, Shen Xi was pulled up on stage with the children.

Because there was no hurry, Shen Xi even played on the old piano and sang 'pleasant goat' with the children.

Dean Yao took the opportunity to secretly record a video on her phone and sent it to certain someone.

And this certain someone watched the video six straight times with an idiotic expression. And then afterward, he called Fang Yu with a black expression on his face.

"Has my schedule been adjusted? When can I get my time off?" Su Hang asked.

"Boss, I meticulously looked through your schedule for two days, and I can squeeze out one day for you at the most. Next Friday." Fang Yu carefully replied.

"I want three days." Su Hang was dissatisfied.

"With the weekend, that's three days." Fang Yu weakly stretched out three fingers.

"Fang Yu!" Su Hang angrily shouted.

"Boss, even if you kill me, I won't be able to squeeze out any more time." Fang Yu stiffly replied.

"Get out!" Su Hang had no words.

"Alright!" Fang Yu happily hightailed it out of there.

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