QT: Don't fall in love with the Male Lead

Chapter 191: Don't blackmail

Xi Zirui's first course of business is to go on with his day as if he isn't boiling on the inside.

He's still unclear on whether his grandmother knows she ended up being dragged into his "travels", as she put it, and he suspects she kept her explanation purposefully vague to ensure he couldn't interfere in her plans.

It's best for him if she thinks he's scrambling around like a headless chicken, terrified at the prospect of losing all his recollections of Han Yu and the time they have spent together.

In the meantime, he needs to get a hold of Li Siqi. If he remembers correctly, as the goddess of record keeping, it's her responsibility to scout out the locations and time periods a god will be sent to during a tribulation.

Of course, approaching her directly will draw too much attention -- which means Xi Zirui needs to be sneaky about it.

He'll get in touch with Liao Min first, who is not only Li Siqi's wife, but a martial goddess.

He can use the pretext of wanting to be physically ready for his tribulation to get close to her. It's flimsy, but Xi Zirui has his terrible reputation as a louche who only cares about enjoying himself and avoids responsibility at all costs to cover for him.

Not that he's in any hurry to broadcast his whereabouts in case his grandmother is keeping an eye on him. Which she most definitely is.

He purposefully seeks out Bai Mi to tell her he has much to think about and is going to wander the woods surrounding the Jade Palace on his own.

This is of course incredibly tedious, so she doesn't offer to accompany him and only shrugs in obvious disinterest.

Next he stops by his mother's room and tells her the same thing. 

Now two people will be able to confirm his location in case anyone goes looking for him.

He makes his way out the Jade Palace's grounds by way of a little out of the way courtyard. Hoping no one will see him. His path does lead to the greater wooded area surrounding the palace complex, but more importantly: it leads to Liao Min's palace and the hall of marital strength where she is likely to be if she isn't at home.

---

Xi Zirui hopes that the person he'll find home is Li Siqi, but he doesn't hold out his breath. She's a well-known workaholic, and the two of them never saw eye-to-eye the few times they interacted.

It's bizarre to think about how his impression of several people he barely knew changed drastically after the time he's spent with them in the Transmigrator 4000.

He reaches Liao Min and Li Siqi's home and is summarily informed by the minor goddess who answers the door that neither of them is there.

Not the most ideal outcome, but he's sure he'll at least find Liao Min in the hall of martial strength.

He was often sent to the hall of martial strength as a punishment for breaking rules or causing trouble. Sometimes to meditate, sometime to cleanse his spirit through exercise -- or so his grandfather said.

Xi Zirui thinks he just wanted him out of the way and too tired to make any more trouble.

He walks into the hall of martial strength without drawing any undue attention, all the other martial gods are well used to seeing him around.

He asks one of them about Liao Min, and is told she's in the inner courtyard, practicing.

Xi Zirui cuts across the building towards the courtyard, but instead of seeing Liao Min exercising in her inner robes, practicing her sword forms dutifully, he finds her fully dressed in her martial armor, talking with someone partially hidden behind a tall shrub.

Slowing down his steps, Xi Zirui makes his way towards them silently.

"I told you already, there's nothing I can do about it," Liao Min says, sounding exasperated.

"I'm your wife's colleague, surely you can make an exception for me."

Xi Zirui reels at hearing Shen Yun's familiarly reedy voice. The truth is that he had no idea who he was before the events of the Transmigrator 4000

Unlike many of the others, the two of them never crossed paths, and if Xi Zirui ever saw him in passing it didn't leave a lasting impression.

"Why are you torturing yourself? He's engaged to the little princeling, you should let it go."

Are they talking about him? 

He flattens himself against the wall, and strains to hear more attentively.

---

Shen Yun looks pleadingly up at Liao Min, making himself look small and defenseless.

He hates having to subject himself to this humiliating pantomime, but the only way a minor god like him gets any respect is by making themselves small and pitiful, in the hopes that one of the higher gods will condescend to look their way.

"It's not like that, I just want a post near him. Everyone knows he'll become a martial god, now that he has returned from his tribulation." He smiles at her, sad and a little wistful. "I know my place, I just really admire Su Xueyi and want to be close to him."

He can tell from Liao Min's face that she believes him. Why wouldn't she?

Aren't minor gods supposed to admire higher gods? Watching, and studying them in the hope to join their ranks one day?

It's particularly vexing for Shen Yun, who works so hard, takes his duties so seriously, only to see the recognition he so rightfully deserves being laid at the feet of those lesser than him in everything except birth.

Why must that stain upon the heavenly realm, Xi Zirui, go on a tribulation as a punishment? Why are his punishments the rewards everyone else battles so hard for?

The only way for a minor god to become a higher god is to go through a tribulation to test their mettle. A privilege Shen Yun has been denied for centuries now.

As a minor god for the civil bureau of mortal affairs, Shen Yun is no more than a glorified clerk. While the higher gods of the civil bureau regularly handle affairs in the mortal realm, answer prayers and have statues and temples built in their honor. Shen Yun walks around running their errands, and handling all the minor bureaucracy of the heavenly realm.

He called Li Siqi his "colleague" just now, to appeal to the side of Liao Min who wants to please her high-strung wife at all costs. In reality, while Li Siqi is more cordial to him than most other higher gods, Shen Yun has no illusions about how she regards him.

Liao Min is looking at him with a complicated expression.

It's a mixture of pity with profound embarrassment. 

Shen Yun is familiar with this look. Higher gods often cast it towards him and the other minor gods, whenever they act in any way they consider 'petty' and 'unenlightened'.

Liao Min is probably trying to wrap her mind around why Shen Yun would admire someone to the extent of asking for a post near them. He knows that to her it feels demeaning and insulting. 

Shen Yun is used to being demeaned and insulted, and the worst part is that the higher gods don't even do it on purpose.

It's just the way things are, and none of them questions it. Higher gods give orders, lower gods obey them.

Higher god have glorious fates written for them in the Book of Fates.

Lower gods get stuck with the mundane humdrum of the heavenly realm. Most of them don't have more than one line or two written about them. 

Shen Yun himself only has a handful of words: "Unmarried. Best suited for civil affairs."

With such a cruel brush had Fate summed up his existence.

Each passing decade, makes it hard for Shen Yun to be resigned with his lot in life.

He wants more for himself, he doesn't care if his desires stink of mortal weakness.

The mortals are the lucky ones, to never know their fate, and how it binds them. 

So Shen Yun turns his eyes up towards Liao Min and begs.

He doesn't have any pride left, at least that mortal weakness he has completely expiated. 

---

Xi Zirui hears their conversation from his hiding place. 

Hears each of Shen Yun's ingratiating, greasy words, and Liao Min's sighing acquiescence.

"I'll see what I can do once his title is determined." 

Shen Yun gives her a look of such obsequious gratitude that it turns the contents of Xi Zirui's stomach sour.

"I'm grateful for the attention, and happy to help in similar way if needed."

Liao Min pauses for a while. "Supposed I'd ask you to put in a few good words about me to Li Siqi in the meantime, would you do it?"

Shen Yun smiles coyly and nods. Liao Min beams. After that the two of them part ways.

Xi Zirui waits for Shen Yun to be out of sight before approaching Liao Min who startles at his presence.

He smiles widely at her. "I can see General Liao is in a very giving mood. I wonder if I can also benefit from some of that generosity."

Xi Zirui doesn't want to blackmail Liao Min by threatening her with what he overheard, but he absolutely will if she refuses to cooperate.

His grandmother isn't playing fair, and unfortunately for Liao Min, that means Xi Zirui won't either.

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