Redo of a Romanceless Author’s Life Devoid of Love; Another Chance at Youth

Chapter 76.

Chapter 76. Irene. (1/7)

When I woke up in the morning, my eyes weren’t greeted by the sight of the ceiling. Rather, the first thing I saw was the long red hair on my cheek. Behind my head wasn’t the hard ground I fell asleep on, rather, it was something soft and smooth. Two thighs, to be more precise.

“Oh? You’re awake? Why’d you sleep on the ground like that? You should have just woken us up and we could have let you have the couch and we would have taken the bed.” Rosa immediately said that when she noticed my eyes open.

“I felt like sleeping on the ground, that’s all.” I gave some half-baked thoughtless reason.

“That’s no good.” Alicia bent forward from the side and looked down at me. She continued, “You’ll develop problems with your back in the future if you sleep like that.”

I rolled onto my side then stood up.

“Then, I’ll take the couch now that you’re both up.”

“You’re going back to sleep?” Rosa asked.

“Oh. I forgot. We have to go to Alicia’s place. We’re spending the night there.”

“What! Spending the night at my place? What’s this all about? I haven’t heard about any such arrangement!”

“It’s your mother’s request. She said she’ll only forgive us if we do so. It’s not like I want to stay the night at your place either. She said she wanted to meet your friends though. More specifically, Rosa, I guess.”

Alicia had a troubled look on her face. If it was to gain her mother’s forgiveness, she’d do it, but seemed she still felt uncomfortable having friends over at her place.

When she noticed Alicia’s reluctance, Rosa asked, “Is it an inconvenience for me to go over to your place?” She looked at Alicia with a heartbroken expression. Heartbroken my ass! Alicia, don’t be so easily deceived! Rosa is not someone who’d be so easily heartbroken! Damn it, open your eyes and see this two-faced friend of yours for what she truly is!

“N-No of course not, Rosa. You’re not an inconvenience at all!” She corrected her friend’s misunderstanding in a fluster while I mulled over how easy Alicia was to deceive. Why can’t this nice girl just see through this blatantly obvious act?

“Really? I’m not an inconvenience?”

“No! I’m just…. not accustomed to having friends over. I’m used to visiting my friends’ places, but not acting as the host at my own.”

“I see. But since it’s your mother’s request, there’s no helping it. We need to go and properly apologize to your mother for causing her to worry so much. It was my selfishness in dragging you along everywhere that caused this mess in the end.”

Alicia hugged Rosa tight in her arms against her chest.

Seriously, get a room. What’s with these two? Isn’t my girlfriend more intimate with Alicia than me by this point?

Should we just break up after all? She’d probably be happier with Alicia than some gloomy guy like me anyway.

This was not jealousy or anything of the sort, from a logical perspective, I genuinely thought it might be a much better outcome when considering Rosa’s future prospects. First love is something that is short-lived. It typically doesn’t last long. After high school, the likelihood that high school sweethearts break up is quite high. 

To give a better idea of the odds, less than 2% of marriages belong to high school sweethearts. Though, to begin with, marriage isn’t something I’m particularly interested in. All marriage amounts to is a silly piece of paper both parties fill out for legal reasons as far as I’m concerned. It’s an act done out of convenience, not love. It’s easier to survive in the world financially with a good partner.

But in a hypothetical world where I did not think this way, let’s say we were to get married. The statistics still aren’t in your favor as 54% of couples who marry as high school sweethearts get divorced. A lack of exploration is one main quality for these ended relationships. Staying in a high school relationship after high school also restricts people from growing. The past holds both parties back from exploring their young adulthood.

From an adult’s point of view, the numbers speak for themselves. Less than 1% of marriages which are the result of high school sweethearts will get married and stay married. Do I seriously believe I’d be in that less than 1% category? Absolutely not, I’ve never been a lucky person. I only bet on something if it’s something I’m sure I have a chance of winning. In this case, the odds were stacked heavily against me. My personality was awful and I had not a single redeeming trait. I wasn’t being self-deprecating, it was simply facts. I know myself better than anyone after all. One day, Rosa would eventually awaken from this fleeting dream of youth and understand I’m unnecessary baggage for her.

My goal is simply to do what I enjoy rather than blindly chase after success. I’ll remain in a low-paying job, live frugally, and do my own thing. That’s my way of life. There’s no way a girl would ever want to live such a meager lifestyle.

Rosa is still young and immature, I’m certain she’s never seriously considered such matters before. Her original objective when she started high school was just to experience a normal high school love.

In the near future, both Alicia and Rosa will go to university. I will not… attend. We’d very likely grow apart after high school. They will both meet new people in university and grow closer to them. People who have similar aspirations to them. But because they’ll both be in university, a relationship between the two of them was far more likely to last than one with me.

I don’t have any great ambitions. I’d just like to enjoy writing. If I could make a living doing it, that would be nice and all.

But there’s no such guarantee of that. After all, I am a selfish person who does not write for others. I only write for myself. If I were to simply write what I know is popular and will succeed, making a living as a writer would be a lot easier. But because I’m ambitionless, a pitiful author like me who can’t write for others will forever remain buried in the eternally shifting sands of time.

Unlike my mother who clawed her way through life for a better future, I suppose I’m a failure. I’m unable to strive to aim higher. I don’t want to work myself into the grave the way my mother did.

I’m a lazy person. A very lazy person. One who finds simply breathing to be an exhausting act.

Any drive I had was broken long ago. I suppose I’m defective as a human. I don’t feel like I function like one at all.

Am I even human anymore?

Everything I do is just an act. I simply try to pretend like I’m human when I’m just a cold-hearted monster at heart. Just like those people, who from a biological standpoint, are related to me.

“Ran? Aren’t you going to answer your phone?”

“Huh?” I refocused my attention to the world I’d zoned out when I heard Rosa’s voice.

“My phone?” It was in my hand vibrating. It had likely been doing so the entire time but I’d been too deep in my thoughts to notice it.

It wasn’t a number saved to my phone and this number didn’t belong to the owner of the convenience store I worked at.

Whose number was it then?

The only way to know was to answer the call.

When I answered it, a familiar voice I’d just heard the day before called out, “Hey, Ran, could you kids hurry up and come outside already? I called into work and informed them I’d be late today just so I could meet you guys. I’m already out three hours of pay waiting for you kids, you know. But it’s worth it so you won’t be able to escape. Honestly, I got sick and tired of waiting at home so came to pick you all up myself. Since I’ll also have your girlfriend as a hostage for the day, I expect you to return to our place after your shift at work later.”

“Hold up, you say you’re outside? I don’t recall telling you where Rosa lived before.” Is this the infamous stalking I’ve heard so much about?

“What are you talking about? You’re the one who personally showed me last night. Did you already forget?”

I did? But when? I looked up out the window. Ah. So that was how she knew.

“The building across from us outside the balcony window. You figured it out from that?”

“Bingo. Congratulations, would you like a prize?”

“Yes, I would actually. I’ll take it in cash please.” My wallet’s bleeding after yesterday’s spontaneous date.

“Oh, are you that strapped for cash after yesterday? You must have been bled dry for your first prize choice to be cash. Could it be you were out on a date yesterday with Rosa and you bumped into my daughter on it? Is that how things played out?”

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