Chapter 208 - Sheyla's Internal Conflict (part 2)
"It's really not like that, Goro," Sheyla replied, sighing. "I just… I don't know what it is. My heart throbs faster every time I'm near or thinks about him. I've never felt this way before. It's… beautiful, yet disgusting at the same time. You know I despise fragility and would only fake it to approach assassination targets.
"I hate women who go all cute to please others only because it's the current trend in society. Be cute, polite, all smile, slim, delicate, attentive. Fuck all that. I'm not a fucking object to be put on a pedestal, only to serve as decoration to further highlight a man's status or glory."
Ogoro was surprised at her talkativeness.
'She must be very conflicted.'
He knew too well she has always hated being the target of the patriarchy implemented in society, and her behavior towards Aito probably reminded Sheyla of that, leading to an internal conflict between accepting those feelings or rejecting them.
There were many gender inequalities on Earth. Most closed their eyes on it, despite seeing it every day.
How girls were more criticized for their weight than boys. How products such as deodorants for women were actually more expensive than men's for marketing purposes. How they had to remove leg hairs or such other nonsense just to look like the ideal woman depicted by society.
Etc.
The inequality was so widespread and normalized that Sheyla had felt overwhelmed, especially when she knew she was picked by the Ryu family for her appearance.
So the only way she had found to fight against this patriarchy was being the total opposite of it when she could. On Earth, that had been hardly possible because society dictated inequality.
That's why, in this new magical world where only power dictated her status, Sheyla truly felt like she would be herself. Free from her previous shackles, as long as she could acquire more power, no one would tell her what's right or wrong anymore.
She would be the one dictating the rules.
"And yet, now you feel like one of those women depicted in a romance book you hate so much. You want to coddle him, smile every time you see him. You can't help yourself but be more gentle in his presence," Ogoro declared, crossing his arms. "Which is conflicting."
Sheyla nodded, "Can't help myself. It makes things even worse when I don't even know why. It's annoying beyond annoyance itself."
"Because you've never felt that way before. You didn't know what love is, and it's messing with your convictions."
She shook her head, "Wrong, I know what it is since I've always loved you."
"As I love you too, little sis. But fraternal love is different from romantic love. Gods damn it, don't you know that at your age? Yeah right…, we've never been able to enjoy life like normal people, so it's normal you know almost nothing about it," Ogoro sighed.
"*Sigh* I just don't want to become the spitting image of a clueless woman madly in love with her hero, clinging to his arm like it was the safest place in the universe or something," Sheyla declared. "That's maddening, just thinking about it. I hate this."
"Idiot, you truly understand nothing," Ogoro flicked her head as he had always done when she did something bad as a little girl.
"Hey! I'm not a child anymore!"
"You just look like one right now," Onii-chan admonished her. "Seriously, you're more of an idiot now than you've ever been. This feeling of desiring to cling to him, hug him, or other stuff I'd prefer not to think about. It is all dictated by no one but yourself.
"Patriarchy? It's outdated. We're not on Earth, so middle finger that. Your stubbornness? It's way too stupid to even think about it, so middle finger that too. Aito? If he doesn't reciprocate your feelings, then middle finger him!
"Seriously, if it makes you enjoy life a little more when you're near him, then I don't see the issue. Do you?"
Sheyla did not reply. She knew her brother was right, in a way.
"Moreover, it's not like you act like a woman from Earth, far from it. Who the fuck would try to dig their way from the 7th floor to the 6th floor?" Ogoro chuckled, "You gotta be mad to do this. Haha! Wait, wait, wait. I was just kidding!"
Sweat trickled down his forehead at the sight of her weapon.
"Next time you talk about this, I'll put an arrow in your kneecap," Sheyla warned, a frozen arrow tip in her hand.
"Alright, alright," Ogoro lifted both hands in submission. "Point is, just let it be. In this particular case, there is no harm in following what your emotions tell you. You'll only hurt yourself if you don't. If you want to hug him, then fucking go for it. If you just want to punch him because that's how you feel, then go for it too. He is as tough as a samurai armor, so he'll be able to endure it.
"Anyway, sis. Just remember, it's all about following your strongest emotion. Do that and you'll certainly find the answer you seek."
Sheyla smiled warmly and took a step to hug her brother in a tight embrace. "Thanks, Goro, for everything. I think I'll follow your advice."
"Don't mention it," he said, hugging her back. "And if he doesn't accept your feelings, then, like I said, middle finger him. There are plenty of other fishes in the ocean."
"Who said I was going to tell him?" Sheyla asked, breaking the embrace.
Onii-chan sent her a confused look. Was she doing this to tease him, or she was being serious? If that was the case, she totally missed the point of what he had just told her!
"Wait, hum, Sheyla, what did you mean by—"
"Ogoro," Aito who had just left his position came at that moment to check on them, "are you done with Lucius? I'd like to hold a meeting to decide our—"
"You left the corridor unguarded?" Sheyla asked in a monotonous tone.
"It's fine, I can sense every life form in a radius of—"
"Fool," Sheyla strode by him, brushing past his shoulder like the wind.
Aito stood confused with an incredulous expression. A few moments ago, they had had a friendly chat and now she was suddenly cold! He looked towards her brother for an answer.
"What was that about?"
"The mistake of a person who has seen too much as well as too little," the grey-haired man said, shaking his head, exhaling.
As per his advice, Sheyla was following her strongest emotion.
***
Dozens of minutes later, berserkers started attacking the challengers' location. Unfortunately, they were reduced to mere corpses.
After removing the remaining corruption from Elizabeth's body, upon her awakening, Aito gathered everyone for a short meeting, wishing to discuss their next step.
Everyone looked at him in silence, even the paralyzed Lucius, all thinking the same question that only one dared ask.
"Black challenger. Hum, how should I say this? *Cough* I'm… grateful for you saving my life, despite our little… past misunderstandings. But that's water under the bridge, right?" Sam said, his gaze shifting focal points every second. Too intimidated, he couldn't exactly look straight into Aito's eyes. "A, a, anyway, we just have three days left before the Tower ends. Can't we… wait it out on the 9th floor until then, rather than trying to locate the 10th floor's entrance? I, I, I mean, your idea is not a bad one but… well, you know."
"First and foremost, I wasn't planning on rescuing you specifically, baldie," Aito replied. "Second, there is no 'we,' only me and my team. As for Lucius and his wife, they might be useful to me at a later date. More importantly, despite Lucius's stupidity, they did little harm to me and my team in the past, not deadly at least. You and that bitch mage accompanying you are another story, though."
Roisin's composure shifted from poker face to unpleasant at his words. However, she remained silent, knowing he could tear the life out of her in barely a few seconds.
"Don't think for a second I forgot what your foolish sect made me go through. The only reason I'm not killing both of you right now is that you helped my team survive instead of trying to kill them this time. So consider us even. However, do anything suspicious and I'll cut you down without a second thought. Now, if you don't have anything else to s—"
"I, I, I'll leave the Chosen sect, so..." the baldy interrupted him, his voice shaky. He suddenly got on all four, face towards the ground. "Please let me join your team."
It took some time for Aito to process what Sam had just said. That fanatic, blinded by faith in his own sect master wanted to leave the Chosen sect?
Why? How? When? What? Where? Wtf?
*****
Lore:
"I've always found patriarchy interesting. What is it but another system? Societies based on it can only function optimally when this is applied. Changes, although possible, take time and willingness. Is patriarchy right, fundamentally? Yes, when everyone in that society accepts it. No, if everyone doesn't agree with it. But the genuine majority cannot be reached with a group of individuals thinking about themselves first, an inevitable consequence of individualism that could be, unfortunately, mistaken for egoism. In that case, patriarchy can be described, not as wrong, but as promoting inequality within the group. Everything boils down to the notion of balance. But can true balance be reached? Now that is the real question."
Extract from, "Yggdrasil Chronicles, The Woodcutter of Iris," by Roan the Merchant.
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