Ryuu Kusari no Ori -Kokoro no Uchi no 'Kokoro'-

Chapter 4 Part 18

"Haa, haa, haa ......... did I manage to get separated?"

Nozomu escaped by pushing the black demon beast against the goblins and finally took a breather after confirming that there was no sign of chasing from behind.

"It should be fine for now... but should I be prepared just in case?"

Since there were so many uncertain parts including the opponent’s fighting strength, it was better to prepare all the means he could use.

Thinking so, Nozomu decided to take a detour before going to Shino’s hut.

The sun had completely set and the darkness of the night covered the surroundings, but Nozomu started walking relying on the slight moonlight and starlight.

=======================================

Shīna and her friends who had been walking in the forest, finally arrived at Shino’s hut, and after Mimuru laid Tom on the bed, she immediately took out the medicine and treatment tools from the shelves and started the treatment.

Wash the wound, sew it with a thread, sprinkle a potion, and bandage it.

Tom was still breathing roughly, with cold sweat appearing on his forehead.

“..................”

On the other hand, Shīna cast healing magic on Tom, but maybe she was worried about Nozomu cleaning up her blunder a while ago. She’s still dazed. She couldn’t concentrate on the magic yet and the healing light that came out of her hands was unstable.

"... Shīna, concentrate properly ..."

"! I’m sorry ..."

Shīna was rushed to concentrate on her magic after being scolded by Mimuru. Mimuru’s hands were also full from treating her lover’s wounds, and her voice was a bit harsh and cold. Obviously, she was having a hard time too.

Eventually, Tom’s facial expression, which was breathing roughly and in pain, eased.

"... I think it’s alright for the time being ..."

"I see......"

Even though Tom had finished his treatment, he was badly injured and lost a lot of blood, so he fell asleep as soon as the pain subsided.

Tom’s treatment was over, the two sat down and rested, but they remained silent without speaking to each other.

Shīna stared at the floor, probably worried about the mistake she made, she dropped her shoulders and clenched her fists tightly on her lap.

Mimuru couldn’t calm herself down either. Perhaps out of uneasiness, her gaze fell on Tom who was sleeping.

There was an awkward atmosphere in the room, but as nothing could dispel that atmosphere, only silence continued.

"... Hey Shīna. Why didn’t you try to escape at that time?"

"......Eh?"

Eventually, Mimuru broke the silence and asked Shīna about her actions earlier.

"By all means, that demon beast isn’t normal. I understand that we didn’t immediately realize that the demon beast was too much for us. But, why are you trying to do something so reckless?"

"Well, that was ..."

Mimuru questioned Shīna, but her tone was harsh and instead of asking, she blamed Shīna.

Mimuru’s gaze was filled with anger, and Shīna was stuck in her words.

"If you didn’t do something so reckless at that time and just escaped, Nozomu didn’t have to be a decoy, and Tom didn’t have to get hurt!"

“............”

Shīna couldn’t say anything at Mimuru’s words, and she looked down.

Given the current situation, it made sense for Mimuru to question Shīna and blame her one-sidedly.

They fled from the black demon beast, but they are now still in the forest, and this safeness is only temporary. The black demon beast wasn’t the only demon beast in the forest.

Apart from simply asking why Shīna didn’t try to escape, one-sided blame could lead to the complete destruction of the party.

However, because Mimuru was mentally driven against a wall and her lover, Tom, was also seriously injured. As a result, she hit Shīna with a fit of anger, which eventually created this situation.

Escaping to a safe place made her tense feelings broke down, and Shīna just looked down without saying anything to such a question. This fueled her anger further.

Mimuru’s voice blaming Shīna gradually became louder.

"Please ... say something !!"

Mimuru grabbed Shīna, but Shīna closed her eyes tightly, clenched her lips and she didn’t say anything.

However, Mimuru’s patience reached its limit as Shīna didn’t say anything.

She raised her hand and tried to hit Shīna. However, at that moment, a rattling sound was heard from the door of the hut.

Tension ran between the two.

Shīna held the bow beside her, and Mimuru took out the dagger at her waist.

It was the black demon beast that flashed through their heads.

Tom couldn’t move and there was no Nozomu, it was clear that if Nozomu was attacked by the demon beast, he would be killed in no time.

Mimuru held the dagger and slowly headed for the door, and Shīna drew her bow to the limit so she could shoot arrows any time.

When the door rattled and opened, there was something with a humanoid body covered in mud.

"! Mimuru !!"

"Eh?"

Shīna called out to Mimuru and shot her nocked arrow at the humanoid’s forehead. It seemed that the humanoid was saying something, but it was blocked by Shīna’s voice and they couldn’t hear it.

"Uaaaaaa !!"

With such a scream and dexterity that did not seem to be a humanoid monster made of mud, the humanoid monster dodged the approaching arrow.

Mimuru stepped forward and swung her dagger.

"Haaaaa !!"

"Wa, wait ..."

The humanoid monster tried to say something, but neither of them noticed it, and the humanoid monster hit the belly of the dagger that Mimuru swung with something like a stick and parried it.

Mimuru was surprised that her attack had been blocked, but immediately turned her sword around and tried to launch another slash.

However, just before that, they heard a familiar voice in their ears.

"Wait! Both of you !!"

The voice stopped the two of them from moving.

On closer inspection, the humanoid monster was actually a human with mud all over his body.

They both recognize him.

"" Nozomu-kun? ""

"That’s right. It’s me! Why did I have to be suddenly attacked by my allies!!"

Nozomu became a decoy of the black demon beast to let the three escape. It would have been unavoidable for him to scream in a loud voice as he ran around the forest and desperately escaped with his life.

"So, sorry Nozomu-kun."

"Umm ... I’m sorry ..."

"... No, it’s okay ..."

Mimuru and Shīna dropped their shoulders and apologized. Instead of thanking someone who could be said to be a savior, they had their weapons pointed at him instead, so there was no choice but to feel depressed.

Nozomu was angry at first, but he thought it was unavoidable given his current appearance.

Nozomu had washed away all the mud over his body, and the clothes he was wearing had been dried by fire.

Mimuru asked Nozomu again.

"... So, Nozomu-kun? Why were you so full of mud?"

"Oh, that was to prevent the demon beast from chasing me by the smell."

Among the demon beasts that were chasing Nozomu in the forest, there were also demon beasts that rely on their sense of smell. Wild Dogs are the example.

In order to avoid being chased by such demon beasts, he entered the river to remove his body odor and smeared mud all over his body to prevent his body odor from leaking out.

"... More importantly, what about Tom’s injuries?"

"...We’re done with the treatment and he’s sleeping right now. But I think it’s better to take him to the city as soon as possible..."

“.................”

"??"

Nozomu looked towards Shīna, but she remained looking down while Mimuru answered Nozomu’s question. Mimuru doesn’t even look at Shīna and deliberately ignored her.

"Hey, did something happen?"

"... Is there something wrong?"

"That is..."

"I’m going outside to keep watch. Call me if anything happens ..."

"O, oi ..."

Nozomu tried to ask the two who were in a strange atmosphere, but Shīna didn’t answer Nozomu who was trying to stop her, and she left.

"......What’s going on?"

"...I don’t care. Just ask Shīna..."

Mimuru turned around as if she was messing around with him.

Nozomu sighed, took out a large pot from the kitchen, boiled some water on the fire, and started to make a simple soup.

"......? What are you doing?"

"You know, I’m making food. We can’t maintain our bodies if we don’t eat when we have the chance. That’s our situation..."

Thus, Nozomu neatly prepared the meal, sliced the dried meat with a knife, took out the soup stock, and put the potatoes he had stored in the hut. Boil and check the taste. Take cooking salt and pour it into the pot to preserve the taste.

"... I can’t guarantee the taste, but it’ll warm our body for the time being. I’ve prepared for Tom’s part, so if he can get up, let him eat."

Mimuru accepted the bowl presented by Nozomu, but she looked at the bowl in her hand with a complex expression.

"......Are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah, I’m fine! Don’t worry ... Thank you."

Mimuru, who had a sunken expression, immediately smiled, but Nozomu could see from the side that she was trying to hide it.

Nozomu tried to say something when he saw her spirit, but at that moment, he heard a groan from Tom who was sleeping.

"Looks like Tom is awake. I’m going to bring food for Tom, so Nozomu will bring food for Shīna.... If I bring it to her, I can’t stand her and we will fight again. I think it’s going to happen ..."

Such a girl had a self-deprecating smile. She had a frustrated expression that seemed to be regretting something.

When Nozomu saw it, he couldn’t say anything.

"...... I understand"

In the end, Nozomu had no choice but to go to Shīna with her soup.

=======================================

Shīna’s POV

I was sitting on the roof of the hut while holding my knees.

I said I was going to keep watch, but I couldn’t concentrate on doing that after all.

My head was full of regret and frustration.

In the past when my hometown, Foskia Forest, fell due to the great invasion, it was the black demon beast that appeared and stood in front of me. I couldn’t believe the scene that was unfolding in front of me.

The appearance was somewhat different from the one that appeared today, but there was no doubt about the black sludge that covered its entire body and the myriad blood-red eyes on its body.

The horror and the inescapable presence of death tightened my whole body like an iron chain, and I thought that I would only be killed by the fear.

It was my beloved parents and sister who rescued me.

(Shīna, run)

While my father and mother were fighting, my sister, while facing the demon beast, turned her back and spoke those words to me.

At first, I didn’t know what my sister was saying, but when I understood her words, I shook my head like a spoiled child and pleaded. I said, "We can’t win even if we fight. Let’s run together."

The black demon beast couldn’t be defeated by any means, and my parents and sister who were fighting should have known about it, but my sister didn’t listen to my pleas.

My parents fought desperately, but they couldn’t win.

My father and mother were killed, and it was my sister’s turn next. The demon beast that dyed its entire body red with my parents’ blood glanced at me and grinned. I was so scared that I couldn’t move.

"Snap out of it! Shīna !!"

It was the pain that ran down my cheek from my sister hitting me and my sister’s scolding that released me from being unable to move.

"Listen, Shīna, I’ll say it again. You should run away quickly. Don’t look back. Keep running straight. I will follow you later."

My sister said so, but I soon realized that was impossible. Still, she forced herself to smile, not to make me worry about her.

"B, but ..."

As I couldn’t make a decision, the black demon beast attacked my sister.

"Ku~uu !!"

My sister created a magical barrier to hold down the demon beast, but the barrier immediately cracked and was unlikely to last for a long time.

Still, I couldn’t make a decision. Whether to run away alone or to fight alongside my sister.

It was my sister’s cry that moved my unmoving legs.

"Go! Shīna !!"

A gentle scolding from an older sister. The moment I heard it, I turned my back on her and ran away with all my might.

"Uu~u, uwa~a~aaa ..."

I kept running, staining my face with tears and snot. Leaving my most important family behind.

Then I wandered across the continent with my surviving companions.

No, instead of wandering around, we had to do so because we have nowhere to stay.

At that time, the countries that were being invaded on a large scale were exhausted and unable to accept refugees. Some of the survivors were able to flee to countries that were not invaded, but they could take in all the too many refugees.

We were not accepted and wandered around instead. All we could do were to endure our starvation in the barren lands.

As I grew up, I decided to enroll in Solminati Academy.

In the past, I couldn’t do anything. So, I need to change my past weak self. Become stronger to reclaim my hometown. Of course, I can’t become as strong as Jihad-sensei, I can’t seem to grasp his true strength.

Even so, I thought that I was able to shake off my weak self due to the harsh training days here...

My arms that were holding my knees were strengthened and I squeeze my knees tightly.

It was because of me, we were in such a terrible situation.

I felt nothing but frustration and regret, only a feeling of anger at myself that kept swirling in the depths of my chest.

I just want to be alone for now. Even so...

"My oh my, I couldn’t find you around the hut, so when I was wondering where you were going, you were in such a place."

I heard the voice of the person I hate the most.

========================================

Mimuru’s POV

"U, ugh ..."

"Tom? are you alright?"

"Mimuru ... Yeah, somehow ..."

"thank God......"

As far as Tom looks, he looks alright....... For the time being, a relieved voice comes out of my mouth because nothing worst had happened.

"Can you get up? I have soup ... can you eat it?"

"... It’s a little tough, but I’ll eat. I think I have to eat it anyway ..."

With that said, I helped Tom who was trying to sit up.

As I thought, Tom’s delicate body is light. Maybe he’s lighter than me...

Tom was bullied for his petite body for a long time.

At first, I also bullied him, and at that time I didn’t think we would become lovers.

But as we grew, Tom and I slowly changed.

Tom’s body was still delicate and tiny, but he was so smart that he was able to study and do various things, and before I knew it, I was looking up to him.

Shortly before we came to this school, I confessed to him when I couldn’t help but think of Tom all the time.

At that time, I was so embarrassed that my face turned visibly red. I almost ran away, but at the same time, I was very happy and realized my own feelings.

"Hot!"

"Ah, sorry!"

Tom had an injury on his right arm so I was feeding him, but it seemed a little hot ...

"Fuu, fuu ..."

Tom asked with a mysterious expression on his face as he was still blowing into the hot soup to cool it down.

"... Hey, Mimuru. Are you okay?"

"......About what?"

"Because you were in a fight with Shīna, right?"

"... You know?"

"Yeah, because Mimuru, I’ll know what you’re thinking the moment I see your face."

It is often said that I am not suited to do bargaining and negotiating.

"... Can’t you forgive Shīna?"

"... But..."

I met Shīna shortly after I enrolled in school. She was sitting next to me in our first year.

Back then, Shīna always looked more restless than she is now and always had a ghastly expression.

She didn’t cut corners in class or practice, she was always pushing herself, and she could break at any moment.

"... Hey, aren’t you tired of being so uptight like that?"

I said that not because I was worried about her. It simply felt suffocating.

"... It’s none of your business."

Shīna glanced at me, then soon lost interest in me and turned her eyes back to the textbook she was reading again.

I didn’t like her attitude, so I lifted my eyebrows and picked up the textbook she was reading.

When I think about it now, it was childish and embarrassing behavior, but I think Shīna was more of a child than I was at that time.

How Shīna cast a spell on me just to get her textbook back.

Aside from me who was blown away by magic, Shīna picked up her fallen textbook and went back to reading.

As expected, that was completely pissed me off. The fact that she was the one who put her hand at the beginning made me angry, so I jumped at her, developing a literal catfight. The two of us received a scolding from our homeroom teacher.

After that, we kept fighting about everything.

We answered the teacher’s questions in a lecture to compete with each other, but Shīna was always on top. Every time she came up with the correct answer, I glared at Shīna, who turned her face towards me.

In practical skills, we did the tasks so that we could compete with each other, and my results in the mock battle were better. Shīna was glaring at me and clenched her bow tightly. I was so excited that I had returned the debt.

We were always in conflict like that, but since Tom joined us and became the intermediary between Shīna and me, we began to speak normally, albeit little by little.

Before I knew it, we started to eat lunch together. Before I knew it, we started to go home together. And before I knew it, we started to adventure together.

I thought I was her best friend. I thought she would tell me anything.

We don’t know anything about Shīna’s past. Thinking about what happened 10 years ago, I could have imagined what happened, but still, I don’t think we will be so stagnant for two years.

However, Shīna didn’t tell me anything.

I was angry at Shīna for being so reckless and causing Tom to get hurt. But most importantly, I was so worried about her. Even though it hurt, I wonder why she didn’t tell me anything.

"But, isn’t it irritating? Shīna who doesn’t say anything, we who couldn’t help her..."

"Mimuru ..."

Tom was stuck for words as Mimuru confessed with a sad expression.

We can’t do anything. Disappointed with myself because the power I had desperately cultivated in this school, couldn’t be used to help her.

We are also very aware of our immaturity.

===================================

"What are you doing? In a place like this ..."

"Nothing in particular ..."

Shīna answered Nozomu’s question while facing away. She turned her face away and she didn’t move while still holding her knees.

"... Why don’t you eat something for the time being? I made a simple soup ..."

“............”

Nozomu sat one body away next to Shīna and offered her the steaming soup, but Shīna didn’t even look at the bowl.

“...............”

“...............”

Silence flowed between the two.

(It’s awkward ...)

Nozomu seemed to be suffocated. He was exposed to the gloomy air she released and got stuck in words.

He didn’t know Shīna’s circumstances. He knew she had something to do with the black demon beast, but he knew nothing about the trauma she had suffered in the past.

Because of that, Nozomu didn’t know what to say. So the action he took was to encourage her to say something...

"H, hey. Say something"

"I’d like to ask you something ..."

"W, what?"

"Why are you okay to be left behind?"

"Eh?"

Nozomu was a little taken aback by her question, but he answered her question casually.

"Well ... because there was no other way ..."

Nozomu explained why he decided to do it back then.

"At that time, neither Mimuru nor you were in a state of being able to fight properly. Both of you were terribly agitated when Tom was injured. Also, it was impossible to escape from that black demon beast while protecting an injured person. Then we need a decoy to give us some time. I was the only one who could do that back then ... "

It was the truth, but that truth became a burden for the current her.

She lost her composure. She knew very well that Tom was injured because of her mistake. She wasn’t so stupid that she didn’t understand it. She blamed herself for being responsible for causing Tom to get hurt.

Now she is very sad because of that mistake.

She had lived a tense life due to her helplessness. In the battle with the black demon beast, she couldn’t do anything and lost herself, and as a result, her friend fell into trouble, and the thread that had been tense until now was completely broken.

"No other reason!? It would have been better for me to be left behind !! It’s because I’m the cause, so I’m the one who should be left behind!!”

Suddenly, she draws closer toward Nozomu and shouted in a loud voice.

"More importantly you’re just a 10th class student !? No matter how I think about it, it wouldn’t be possible for you to run away from it !! Why did you do that when you knew you were going to die !!"

"Wa, wait!"

Shīna grabbed Nozomu by the collar, raised her eyes, then she brought her face close enough to feel each other’s breath.

Nozomu immediately tried to remove her hand, but when he saw the boulder-like tears in her eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to shake her hand off.

"Yes! Surely, you are different from me who can’t do anything! It’s said that you are the weakest, but you are actually strong!! But that beast is beyond dangerous. Why would you do something reckless?!"

What she was saying was completely incoherent.

She saw Nozomu fighting, albeit a little, and she knew Nozomu made a detailed forest map. Given that he was able to escape from the demon beast, she already knew that Nozomu’s abilities were different from what she had heard in the rumors.

However, what Nozomu did made Shīna remember her sister who had helped her by sacrificing herself 10 years ago. The last moments of her beloved older sister. It can be called trauma.

She saw her sister’s final moments overlap with Nozomu’s actions. Even though she knew that Nozomu’s actions were for the best, but, because her head was full of emotions, such a fact was ignored by her.

“........................”

Nozomu became quite suffocated because Shīna grabbed his collar so tightly, but more than that, he was fascinated by the girl in front of him.

The elf girl was illuminated by the moonlit night. Her slender limbs and long flowing blue hair. Tears were in her eyes and the moonlight shone through her tears. It was a fantastic sight like a fairy tale.

But more than that, the manifestation of her violent emotions that she kept hiding in her chest nailed into Nozomu.

"Why, why......"

She looked down and continued to mumble while crying. She didn’t even know who the words she was muttering were directed to.

====================================

"... I’m sorry. I said a lot of strange things ..."

"N, no. Don’t mind it ..."

She continued to cry for a while, but now that she calmed down, the two of them sat one body next to each other again.

The two sit without facing each other. Even though they exchanged a word or two with each other, due to their awkwardness, they immediately sank into silence.

"... Thank you. For hearing my complaints without saying anything ..."

"Eh?"

Nozomu was embarrassed by the words she said to break the silence. He didn’t know the reason for being thanked.

Nozomu didn’t tell her anything. She didn’t tell Nozomu about her past either.

Nozomu also knew that Shīna had something that she couldn’t tell, and she was suffering from it but couldn’t talk about it, but he didn’t know what to say to her.

What we should do. That’s something Nozomu himself wants to know.

"Don’t mind it... I didn’t do something worth mentioning ..."

"You help us escape from that demon beast. You took care of us and cooked our meals. Besides, you listened to my complaints without saying anything."

"......."

Although her face was still a little tired and cloudy, it was much better than before.

However, Nozomu knew very well that it was only superficial.

She did have a smile on her face, but that smile was the same as what Nozomu showed Irisdina and the others. It was the same mask worn by someone who was desperately trying to push what was inside one’s chest.

Her masked smile raised anxiety that Nozomu couldn’t express, and his chest tightened.

"H, hey. About that previous demon beast...."

"Thank you very much. And... I’m sorry. I’ve said a lot of awful things. so far"

Nozomu had something to say, but she took control and cut off Nozomu’s words. She had a sad-looking smile on her well-organized face.

"It’s about time for me to return. Thank you for the meal ..."

She cut off his words before Nozomu could say anything else and came downstairs with cold soup in hand.

" !! "

Nozomu unknowingly clenched his fist tightly.

When he saw her fake smile, he felt some kind of kinship.

Nozomu couldn’t tell Irisdina and the others that he is a dragon slayer. And Shīna can’t escape from her own past.

They had the same problem that they couldn’t talk to the others even if they wanted to, and they just felt like they were falling into an abyss where they couldn’t see the bottom. But even if they had the same doubts and hopelessness, they never intersected.

Neither of them could step forward.

They tried their best to hold it in, and because they were used to holding it alone, they forgot to look at anything other than themself.

Nozomu’s premonition hit the mark in the worst way.

The next morning, Nozomu and the others only find Shīna’s empty blanket and her note that says, "Please, I’ll leave Mimuru and Tom in your care."

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