Chapter 359 Will You Ever Regret Me?
If Cosette wasn't in her right mind, she would've pulled in Maxen the moment she saw him standing outside her room. Seeing him outside meant everything was settled. However, she realized they had to address this matter from the root.
Hugging, kissing, and simply cuddling wouldn't put out the fire. It would only put a blanket on it, hoping it wouldn't get engulfed with the same fire immediately.
"About what you said…" Maxen trailed off, turning his head to his side. Both of them were sitting on the edge of the bed. He watched her slowly look back at him before he continued. "... you're right."
"Hmm?" her brows rose, cocking her head to the side.
"I was lying when I said your happiness is my priority. Though I want you to be happy, I always want to be the reason, or at least to be part of it," he confessed. "It angers me that Asher Quinn had the gall to confess to you, knowing I am still in the picture. I feel disrespected, but not surprised."
Maxen peeled his gaze from her and lowered his eyes. His hands were linked in between his spread thighs and the tip of his thumb rubbing the other.
"My girlfriend… is pretty, smart, and almost perfect. Her warmth could melt even the coldest and most callous heart. She's also kind, so others will naturally misunderstand her kindness as a sign of interest," he continued quietly. "I honestly don't know what to say or do because, at the end of the day, you have a big heart to spare for others. Even when I say I understand, there's still a part of me that wishes you to care a little less."
"But then again, we wouldn't be in this setup if not for your heart. If you cared less, then I don't think we will be in this place. We wouldn't be even talking right now. If anything, my guess is that I'm already under my father's wing, doing whatever crime he tells me to do." He shrugged. "I know I cannot change you. You'd care for me, for your friends, family, and anyone without reason."
Maxen looked back at her. "I was so blinded by other things that I forgot there was always a difference. I'm sorry for saying harsh things and making you feel whatever my words made you feel. That is not my intention, but it clearly hurt you. I'm sorry."
Cosette pressed her lips into a thin line as she drew a deep breath. However, instead of outright accepting his apology, she raised a question.
"Why are you so angry of Asher, Max?" she inquired out of plain curiosity. "I asked this question to Asher. Do you know his answer?"
She took a deliberate pause as she recalled Asher's answer. "He said he felt like you will take everything from him. It didn't make sense and he also couldn't understand why he felt like that. That is why I am curious. Why do you dislike him from the get-go? You weren't like this with Luke or with anyone."
"Well…" Maxen reclined, placing his palms on the mattress to support his upper body. He gazed at her for a moment while thinking of the answer. "That question never crossed me, but I admit I don't like him from the beginning. I thought he was arrogant."
"But the more he got involved with you since that time, you were an intern in the company, the more I dislike him. But this time, it wasn't because of who he was or his personality. Rather… I felt like he will like you." A subtle smile turned up on Maxen's face, getting the answer he didn't think he needed. "He will like you… love you at every angle and day, and he will do it the right way you deserve to be loved."
"I don't understand it myself. I know I love you so much, I can set this world aflame if you asked me to. But a part of me couldn't get rid of this… growing anxiety. He will love you the way I could never… and it scares me when he was around you. What if she sees how good he was? What would I do if her heart starts to flutter at the sound of his voice?" His eyes softened while holding her gaze. "It's not that I don't trust you, Cozie. It was just that I strongly believe change is the only constant thing in this world, and a person's heart can change without prior notice."
"I cannot… lose you just yet. I'm not ready for that change. Sorry for thinking this way. I know you'd probably wonder why I am having these thoughts — if only I know the reason myself." His subtle smile appeared bitter. "But I can lose everything. These nice clothes, a comfortable bed, a safe shelter, and everything. I didn't have them before. I've been from rock bottom and I can survive even if I go back there."
"It's just that, you… I can't, Cozie. That is why I am being like this when I feel like someone can pose a threat to us. I'm sorry," he added under his breath.
Cosette rocked her head in understanding, smacking her lips as she recomposed herself.
"I'm sorry as well. I should've thought about my actions instead of relying on my complacency that you will understand." She reached for his hand, nodding reassuringly. "I honestly don't know how to make you feel better or what to say. All I know is that… whatever happens in the future, I will never regret you."
Cosette squeezed his hand mildly. "Will you ever regret me?"
"No." Maxen smiled after a moment, shaking his head mildly. "Never."
And that cleared up everything that had been gnawing under his skin. It was true that change was the only constant thing in the world and they could never tell what tomorrow had in store for them. Their hearts might or might not change, but what was important was today; the present and being a part of each other's lives.
It was something Cosette and Maxen would never regret… ever.
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