Chapter 145: Chapter 42. The happiest day
I woke up the next morning and lay there for a long time-staring glassy-eyed at the ceiling.
I still couldn't believe that Rachel had done this to me.
Tears came to my eyes as soon as the events of the previous night flashed through my mind. The feeling of emptiness was much more overwhelming than the hysteria.
When I opened my eyes, I noticed that Rachel was gone. There were new clothes on the dresser for me. I didn't call the maids and changed by myself.
On cotton legs, I went out and went to my room. I didn't want to think about anything. Right now I just… needed some peace.
Thoughts of the imperial seal and the promise to my father did not visit me at all. Even though my attempt had failed, I wasn't thinking about it right now. Or rather, I didn't think about it at all.
When I finally returned to my own quarters, Melinda and Maxie were there to greet me. The latter immediately jumped on me.
— Where have you been? — I've been looking for you all night! Do you know how worried we were?
I didn't say anything.
— I… I was at Rachel's.
— What?» Maxie gaped, «What were you doing up so late?
I didn't dare answer honestly. Instead I said:
— Do you remember Elsa?
I could tell by Maxie's disgruntled look that she bloody well remembered! I'd been talking about it for the last two years. She'd had enough of the subject.
— Why would you say that? — She looked at me strangely.
— I… I just found out that Elsa is Rachel.
When I said it, I expected Maxie to react the same way I did. Sincere bewilderment or shock. But as it turned out, not even surprise was in her eyes. It was more of a mute question.
— Ah… Er… So she already told you? — I accidentally blurted it out and immediately regretted it.
I got angry.
— So you knew about everything?! — I got angry.
Maxie got worried.
— I… I didn't mean it! — the girl tried to take her own words back, but it was too late.
— And how long have you known? — I asked,» Maybe… Since the beginning?
— …
— How long were you going to keep it from me?
Maxie froze in indecision. When all the cards were revealed, it was too late to make up excuses. She seemed to be just waiting for me to use up all my anger.
But… what I was feeling right now wasn't anger at all. It was more disappointment.
I grinned bitterly and turned to Melinda:
— What about you? Of course, I knew all about it, too.
The maid looked at me frightened.
— Madam, I…» I hesitated guiltily.
— All those letters I gave you… You gave them back to Rachel and didn't tell me anything.
Melinda squeezed the hem of her uniform and looked down. If Maxie had no words for the situation, she certainly didn't.
I looked at them both.
— You knew how important this was to me,» I summed up, «And yet… you kept it from me.
— Leriana, I…» Maxie finally tried to say something, but I interrupted her with a hand gesture.
— That's enough,» I said dryly, «Go away now.
— B-b-but…!
— I told you to go away! — I couldn't take it anymore, and I yelled, «LEAVE ME!
It was the first time Melinda and Maxie had ever seen me so angry. They were both taken aback, for it was a character trait that was quite uncharacteristic of me. I usually remained calm even in the most tense situations. But now… this was different.
I really didn't want to see anyone.
Maxie realized that talking to me at this moment would be useless, and dragged the maid by the sleeve.
— I'm sorry…» she apologized softly before she shut the door behind her.
I grinned. Would an apology do me any good right now?
The people I trusted the most, it turned out, had been lying to me all along. And I couldn't imagine that it would hurt me so much.
It felt… Disgusting.
For a moment, even the most frightening thoughts visited me. But as I looked around the room, I found with an involuntary chuckle that Rachel had already taken care of that. There were no sharp objects left in the chambers. Dive
I couldn't even die of my own accord.
I sat down on the floor and cried softly.
***
Rachel realized she'd made a mistake — too late.
She had no idea what had gotten into her last night, but she'd been terribly remorseful this morning. She didn't want to… She didn't want to do it!
But when Leriana had told her that she hated her, it was as if something had snapped her off the chain. She wanted to make her her own. At least that way.
But now… Would Leriana ever forgive her?
Rachel dared to talk to her all day long. But when she finally got to her room, the door was locked. Leriana wouldn't let anyone inside.
The girl thought she should be given some time, so she didn't bother her. But in the end… It dragged on for a whole week.
The Archduke's daughter was unresponsive to those around her and showed no signs of life at all. Rachel wished that she would have been better off screaming and beating her-than behaving this way…
Eventually everyone around her became concerned about the crown princess' condition. Rachel knew that getting her out of there wasn't that difficult-all she had to do was break down the door. But the girl was reluctant to do so until the last minute. She suspected that if she did, things would only get worse…
Every day Rachel came and just sat silently by her door. But the long-awaited miracle never happened.
At one point she couldn't stand it and knocked on her door after all. It was dark in the palace, and it was deep in the night.
There was complete silence outside the door.
Rachel sighed.
— I know you can hear me,» she said.
— …
Still silent.
— I'm not going to ask you to come out. I just… I want to say something.
Rachel leaned back against the door and sighed heavily.
This memory was so petty-but it held a precious place in her memory at the same time.
The happiest day in the life of the former Rachel she had once been.
Neither of them knew then: that their relationship would turn out this way.
The emotion… It's impossible to describe.
— My name is Rachel Cassius,» she said suddenly, «would you… Would you like to be my friend?
For the first time in a long time, Leriana flinched and looked up. Th-that's…!
«Hi, my name is Leriana! I'm also a first year student. I don't have any friends yet, and… Maybe you'd like to be my friend?»
That was what she said to Rachel the first time they met…
Tears came to the girl's eyes.
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