Chapter 1: Only idiots would become queens
Chapter 1
Chu Tianjiao had been hanging on the wall for three years now.
If she had known her soul would be trapped in this royal ancestral temple after death, only a fool would have agreed to become empress!
The Li Country had been established for six generations.
On this wall of the ancestral temple hung over a dozen portraits.
"Life is but a dream, fleeting in the blink of an eye..."
Empress Jingci, hanging above Chu Tianjiao's head, had been an artistic young woman in life and began her daily recitation.
"Daughter-in-law, let Father Emperor tell you about the time your grandfather and I struck deep into enemy territory, marching to the capital of the Dongyi Kingdom and capturing their emperor alive..."
Emperor Chengzong, disliking such sentimental tunes, interrupted to tell Chu Tianjiao a story.
"Father Emperor, you've already told this story eighteen times."
Chu Tianjiao silently mocked: That was my grandfather's military achievement. You weren't even on the throne then, just helping transport supplies. Who are you trying to fool?
"You insolent brat, shut up!
I handed you a perfectly good reign, and you let it fall into chaos. How dare you brag?
Granddaughter-in-law, let me tell you about the time your grandfather and I were street urchins instead..."
Emperor Gaozong's voice came from even higher up.
Chu Tianjiao felt her head begin to buzz.
Over a dozen ancestors were all piled above her head, inexplicably starting to argue again.
These ancestors, like her, had their souls trapped within their respective portraits.
With nothing else to do all day, their only entertainment was chatting, bickering, and shooting the breeze.
If the people of the world knew that the emperors and empresses of Li Country ended up like this after death, probably no one would ever rebel again.
Chu Tianjiao, driven nearly mad by the noise, covered her ears and shouted:
"Ah! Which idiot came up with this awful rule that we should be trapped here after death to receive worship from our descendants?"
The topmost portrait shook three times and emitted a light cough.
"You ungrateful descendants, don't think I don't know you're cursing me in your hearts."
Founding Emperor Lu Dingfeng, the first emperor of Li Country, had been hanging on the wall for two hundred years.
Thinking about this still brought tears to his eyes.
"I was tricked as well. If I could get out, I'd chase that person down to the eighteenth level of hell and swallow them whole!"
The empty main hall of the ancestral temple fell silent for half a quarter of an hour.
Chu Tianjiao, confined to a space barely two feet square, twisted her neck in frustration and led the charge: "Idiot!"
In an instant, these ancestors, no longer caring who was whose father or grandson, all began cursing.
There was nothing else to do; they were just too bored!
The hall doors opened, and several palace maids and eunuchs filed in silently, replacing the incense and offerings on the altar.
The ancestors all fell quiet.
Chu Tianjiao stared at the offerings on the altar, unconsciously swallowing.
So hungry!
Able to see, but unable to eat!
The daily offerings in this ancestral temple were nothing short of torture.
Chu Tianjiao recalled how hungry she had been three years ago during that battle with the Western Rong people at the border city.
At that time, she and the Chu family army had been besieged by the Western Rong for three months. The city's provisions were nearly exhausted, and even the warhorses had been slaughtered for food.
On the morning of the day the city fell, Chu Tianjiao's personal maid Qingluan brought her a bowl of meat broth.
"I'm not hungry. Take it away and share it with the soldiers."
"My lady, you haven't eaten a grain of rice in three days. How can you not be hungry?"
Chu Tianjiao dared not look at Qingluan, fearing that if her gaze so much as touched that bowl of broth, she would snatch it and drink it down.
"Where did this meat broth come from?"
The city had been out of food for half a month, and even the horses had been killed for rations. Chu Tianjiao knew this bowl of broth must have come at a great cost.
"The kitchen soldiers found a hidden warhorse..."
Qingluan's gaze wavered, and her hand holding the bowl trembled slightly. At the time, Chu Tianjiao didn't notice.
"My lady, the Western Rong will surely attack the city again tonight. You must conserve your strength. Please eat something."
Under Qingluan's urging, Chu Tianjiao finally accepted the bowl of broth.
Chu Tianjiao took a sip. She, who had grown up in silk and jade, actually found this nearly fatless horse meat broth to be as delicious as ambrosia.
One sip, two sips, but by the third sip, the bowl in Chu Tianjiao's hand crashed to the ground. She clutched her throat and began to retch.
Her empty stomach had nothing to bring up.
"Qingluan, tell me, what meat is this?"
Qingluan's skeletal body trembled as she knelt down, her forehead repeatedly hitting the ground as she kowtowed and wept loudly.
Chu Tianjiao knew the city was out of provisions.
But she never imagined that some of the old, weak, sick, and injured soldiers would voluntarily go to the kitchen soldiers, willing to exchange their own flesh and blood for the survival of their younger, stronger comrades.
After hearing Qingluan's account, Chu Tianjiao's heart filled with murderous rage that could destroy heaven and earth.
When the Western Rong invaded, Chu Tianjiao, as the empress of Li Country, had taken the field in place of her young brother to protect her family's last bloodline.
After three months of fierce battle with the Western Rong, of the 70,000 Chu family troops Chu Tianjiao had led out, fewer than 5,000 remained.
And the promised supplies and reinforcements still hadn't arrived.
That night, as predicted, the Western Rong launched a night attack.
As the city fell, Chu Tianjiao, wielding the Heavenly Crow Sword, her body bathed in blood, still mechanically hacked at the enemy's flesh and blood.
Behind her lay Qingluan's corpse.
When fewer than a hundred of the Chu family’s troops remained on the city walls, a banner arrived late.
"Reinforcements..."
Though she was utterly exhausted, seeing this banner symbolizing Li Country, Chu Tianjiao raised the corners of her lips in a satisfied smile.
"Kill!"
She had finally lived up to the Chu family's mission of loyal service to the country, finally holding the border city.
Facing the commander of the reinforcements, Chu Tianjiao asked only one question: "Why did you come only now?"
The flash of shame in the commander's eyes told Chu Tianjiao everything.
Her heart ached so much that she coughed up a mouthful of blood. Supporting her gravely injured body, she rested for only one day before rushing back to the Capital City.
Chu Tianjiao was the eldest granddaughter of the Marquis of Liyang Mansion.
Since the first Marquis of Liyang had joined Founding Emperor Lu Dingfeng in rebellion, the Chu family had controlled half of Li Country's military power.
Ten years ago, Chu Tianjiao's father fell victim to an enemy country's scheme and died in battle.
Since then, the Chu family had gradually declined, with the men of the family dying in succession on the battlefield.
This time, the 70,000 Chu family troops Chu Tianjiao had led out were almost entirely lost.
The remaining Chu family forces could no longer pose a threat to Lu Zhaoling's imperial power.
Under imperial rule, the decline of martial families like the Chu was almost an inevitable historical outcome.
But the most disheartening thing for a military officer was to be abandoned on the battlefield by their own monarch.
Chu Tianjiao wanted revenge for the 70,000 Chu family troops.
The day she returned to the palace, as Chu Tianjiao removed her armor, her ears were constantly listening for movement outside the hall.
Apart from the breathing and footsteps of eunuchs and palace maids, she didn't hear the voice she was waiting for.
"Hongye, did His Majesty say when he would come?"
The nearby palace maid Hongye looked panicked and knelt down.
"Your Majesty, Consort Lan was just diagnosed with pregnancy today. His Majesty has gone to the Secluded Orchid Palace."
Chu Tianjiao laughed coldly, "Pregnant again? She certainly is fertile!"
Chu Tianjiao had been married to the current emperor Lu Zhaoling for twelve years without conceiving, while Consort Lan Ye Tinglan, who had entered the palace after her, was now on her fifth pregnancy.
It wasn't until dinner time that Lu Zhaoling appeared in Kunyang Palace, with Ye Tinglan following behind him.
"Empress, you have worked hard!"
Lu Zhaoling's gaze lingered on Chu Tianjiao's face for only three seconds before he offered a perfunctory greeting.
Beside him, Ye Tinglan wore a full smile, slightly bowing to Chu Tianjiao.
"Congratulations on your triumphant return, sister! I should kowtow to you, but I've just become pregnant. His Majesty is concerned for me and has exempted me from the courtesy of kneeling..."
Here she goes again. Every time this woman gets pregnant, she runs over to show off. Chu Tianjiao rolled her eyes and sarcastically said:
"What's so special about being able to bear children? So many women in the world can do it. If you're so capable, why don't you give birth to a pig? That could improve the army's food supply. Now that would be impressive."
As soon as Chu Tianjiao finished speaking, Lu Zhaoling's face darkened, and he spat out in disgust: "How vulgar!"
Chu Tianjiao looked directly at Lu Zhaoling, clenching her fists, her heart sinking to rock bottom.
She held her head high, straightened her back, and asked aggressively:
"May I ask Your Majesty, why weren't reinforcements sent to support the border city as agreed?"
Lu Zhaoling's gaze wandered, his expression gloomy as he rebuked her: "You come from a martial family. Don't you know that in mobilizing large armies, unexpected events often occur? Are you questioning me?"
Chu Tianjiao stepped forward, but suddenly sensed a murderous aura hidden in the rafters.
Thinking of the women, children, and younger brothers in the Marquis of Liyang Mansion, Chu Tianjiao unclenched her fist and lowered her head, replying softly, "I wouldn't dare."
Lu Zhaoling, with guilt in his heart, had brought secret guards even to Kunyang Palace.
Chu Tianjiao knew she had to plan carefully for the long term.
The welcoming banquet for Chu Tianjiao was supposed to be shared by the emperor and empress, but Ye Tinglan seemed to have tactlessly stayed behind.
Sitting in the opulent palace hall, facing forty-nine exquisite dishes, Chu Tianjiao found it difficult to swallow.
Ye Tinglan, attended by palace maids, had just picked up a morsel with her chopsticks when she started retching.
Lu Zhaoling anxiously inquired, "Lan'er, are these dishes not to your liking?"
Ye Tinglan frowned in disgust, covering her mouth with a handkerchief, "Your subject cannot bear the smell of fish..."
Chu Tianjiao loved fish, and today the imperial kitchen had prepared steamed shad. Just as Chu Tianjiao was about to take a bite, Lu Zhaoling hurriedly ordered everything to be taken away.
Watching the two shamelessly flaunt their affection before her, Chu Tianjiao rolled her almond-shaped eyes and remarked sarcastically, "No wonder I met someone on my return journey who was rowing a boat without oars."
The couple across from her were stunned. Lu Zhaoling asked curiously, "Why?"
Chu Tianjiao pointed her silver chopsticks at Ye Tinglan and said, "The harlot, relying on the waves to propel the boat!"
Lu Zhaoling angrily retorted, "Nonsense!"
Chu Tianjiao lowered her head to eat, no longer bothering to look at the two.
In her mind, she recalled when Lu Zhaoling was still the fourth prince, coming to the Chu family to propose marriage, swearing to heaven "one life, one world, one couple." Now it all seemed like a huge joke.
While she was at the frontlines, fighting bloody battles and going hungry, these two were indulging in luxury and debauchery, cooing at each other in the rear.
Chu Tianjiao felt nauseated and clutched her chest.
"Is elder sister trying to imitate me?" Ye Tinglan mocked with a light laugh.
Everyone knew that Chu Tianjiao had been diagnosed by imperial physicians as permanently infertile.
Lu Zhaoling also looked at Chu Tianjiao suspiciously.
Chu Tianjiao's inability to bear children was something Lu Zhaoling was certain of.
Chu Tianjiao took a sip of tea and looked provocatively at the two who were enjoying life in the imperial city. She spoke calmly:
"I just remembered the soldiers starving at the front. Without provisions, they've even eaten the war horses. What do you think people will eat to survive when there's nothing left?"
Lu Zhaoling and Ye Tinglan both realized the answer.
Looking at the phoenix claws that Ye Tinglan had tasted once and discarded, Chu Tianjiao said solemnly, "Those old, weak, sick, and disabled who volunteered to be made into meat soup, when they died, didn't have more flesh on them than these phoenix claws..."
Lu Zhaoling and Ye Tinglan simultaneously started retching and fled in disarray.
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