Soul for a Girlfriend?

"Heya!" I heard a cheerful voice call out to me, followed by rushed footsteps pacing towards my bed. I shifted my glance around and got face to face with lustrous silver hairs.

"You seem awfully thrilled." I said as those crimson eyes stared at me, "Of course, remember I told you about cooking something?"

She has been busy in the kitchen since morning that day. And I wasn't particularly in the mood to cook something so I had no use in the kitchen that day. I didn't bother checking up on her either.

Well, I wasn't actually expecting her to cook something.

She was holding two bowls in her hands and I could see the steam rising from them. A faint aroma of spices was reaching my nose, as I sat up. I was staring at them as Lilith put the bowls in front of me, on the bed.

Inside the bowl, it appeared to be some sort of stew. The light coloured broth was making the vibrance of the vegetables stand out. I could also see a few pieces of meat buried underneath the carrots and potatoes.

It was basically a meat stew.

Lilith sat down in front of me, and her smile got wider, as she asked, "Looks good, right?"

"It smells delicious as well," I replied, and she gestured to me to taste it with her eyes. I slowly held the spoon between my fingers and dipped it inside the broth, while stirring it slowly.

How can she cook dishes like this? I thought she would cook some abomination from hell.

The steam emitting from it was even more prominent, as I disturbed the constituents of the stew from their state of rest. I nodded and said, "So that's what you were doing in the kitchen."

"Yes! Even though I cooked after such a long time."

"Apparently you still got your edge." 

I lifted a good chunk of bite-sized veggies and meat onto my spoon and poured it into my mouth. The hot broth spread across my tongue. The spices and salt were mixed in a good ratio, as to not make the dish bland but at the same time keep it adequately seasoned.

The vegetables were soft, and the meat was tender. There was a subtle smell of all the vegetables lingering inside my mouth as I poured another spoonful of vegetables and munched on the meat separately.

Lilith sure knew how to cook, and I felt guilt for underestimating her skills.

"This is great!" I said, and she matched my tone of voice, "I know, right!"

I was scrutinizing a piece of meat, which appeared to be thinly sliced. The broth was dripping from it, as I put the spoon in my mouth, Lilith hurled a question towards me, "You feeling better now?"

"Huh?"

I was a bit befuddled by her question. She kept staring at my face and asked again, "You seemed down for some reason…"

  "So are you well?"

"Ah, yeah, don't worry about that." I laughed awkwardly, realising what she was talking about. She nodded gently and quipped, "Not really worrying about you or anything, just curious why you're always like this."

"I'm like what?" I asked, as she rolled her eyes and sighed, "Come on, don't make me spell out."

Of course, there was no point in hiding things from her. I rubbed the back of my neck, and replied with a lethargic tone, "I was just wondering how it's more zestful than last year."

"Is that so?" She asked and put a spoonful of soup in her mouth.

"I was alone around this time last year. I don't know what I was doing, but it seems boring compared to this."

"What do you mean by 'this' ?" She narrowed her eyes, as I tried to clarify, "You know, I'm having a conversation with someone, while eating… you know what I'm trying to say, right?"

After staring at me for a few moments, she let out a slight chuckle, "Damn, you're terrible at explaining."

I looked at slightly arched lips and asked, "What about you? You don't seem very thrilled about this."

She stopped eating, and her eyes shifted towards me. With a plain tone, she asked me back, "I mean, what is there to be thrilled about?"

"I don't know… you don't celebrate Christmas?"

She stared at me for a few moments with furrowed eyebrows and a slightly hung open mouth. I smiled awkwardly, as she asked in a calm tone, "You do understand I'm a devil, right?"

What was I thinking?

Oh god!

I'm stupid.

I realised how dumb of a question it was to ask. I quickly averted my gazes from her admitted my foolishness, "Ok that was very dumb of me."

"Yes, Saishi. Yes, it was." She affirmed and laughed. Looking at her giggling like that, I couldn't help but burst out in laughter as well.

There was a warmth in my heart, which was quite comforting at that time. And I was content at that time, as if there wasn't a single thing to worry about. Laughing to my heart's extent.

I wondered if I deserved to laugh carefree like that.

Though, these brief conversations we're having while laughing now and then, made me realise how genuine that moment we were sharing was. And since I wasn't expecting anything at all, that was an exhilarating experience.

Even though I wasn't very expressive of it.

I appreciated the effort and concern she poured into cooking something for me, or rather, for us. But even more than that, I was delighted at the fact of having someone to spend my Christmas with.

It wasn't like my friends wouldn't have come to visit if I asked them to, but I didn't want them to ruin their plans just because of me. I was selfish at times, but I never supported the idea of giving up something important to oneself for another.

My mind always becomes clouded with unnecessary thoughts when I'm alone.

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