Taming the Queen of Beasts

GAR

Gar cleared his throat. His father had said something kind. Something loving. And he would cherish it. But… but he needed time. "You can tell me, too," he said uncertainly. "I know I'm… I know I've hurt you too. I don't want to."

Reth nodded. "Thank you. I love you, too, Gar."

His father said those words often—so often when he was younger, Gar had stopped believing them. But for some reason, standing there in his kitchen, for the first time in years, they touched Gar right at his core.

His throat pinched and his eyes began to sting. He was forced to straighten and turn, rinsing out his glass and placing it in the deep sink to give himself a moment to bring himself back under control. He cleared his throat before he turned back to find his father had moved away, towards the couch.

His father looked back at him carefully. "Why don't we sit down. I have a story to tell you that might help with your mate."

Grateful for the change of subject, and the physical space, Gar followed him, taking a seat in the opposite corner of the couch.

"It's incredible that you've found your mate, Gar. That's… that's an answer to our prayers. I always wanted my children to share the bond. It's been the greatest joy of my life with your mother. And because of what we went through… I understand how hard it is when you feel the bond, but she doesn't. I know how defeating that can be. So I want to tell you a story so you don't make the same mistake I did."

Gar nodded. He didn't trust his voice.

His father sighed and his eyes drifted around the room as he spoke, as if he were remembering different things, seeing them in his mind's eye. 

"When your mother was young, before she was brought to Anima, my mother gave me some advice. It was the first time I was waking up to the bond myself. I hadn't yet recognized it, but I sensed… something. And I needed to see if I was right. So I went to her."

Gar nodded. He knew that feeling. It had driven him back into the WildWood again and again, over weeks, hunting for Rika, desperate to be close to her, but never quite sure why.

"When I found your mother I hadn't seen her since we were cubs. Children. The moment I laid eyes on her something within me… opened up. I don't know how to explain it except that it felt as if she were a part of me, and I could not be complete unless she was near.

"The problem was, your mother didn't know I was there watching her. And just moments later another male came out to share her space. They were… comfortable. More than comfortable together. Seeing her in the arms of another male, seeing her happy, it broke the very thing within me that had just reached out for her.

"I was convinced that because she was human she couldn't feel the bond, and that she had already found her mate in someone else. And I couldn't steal that from her. Couldn't force her to love me. So I left. I returned to Anima, and I stopped holding my life and my body aside for her."

Gar nodded. "I know. Then she got pulled into the Rite and everything was butterflies and rainbows."

His father gave him a very flat look. "Be grateful that I have resolved to be a different father, Gar, or I would slap that grin off your face. I scaled mountains—and so did your mother—to fight for our love. You would not be here if the Creator had not brought us through miracle after miracle." He snorted. "Butterflies and rainbows, my ass. Anyway,  you have missed the point. When your mother was brought to Anima and we were mated, I had to share my story with her. There were things I'd done that I regretted in the wake of having her in my life. It was… a very humbling time."

Gar raised an eyebrow.

His father growled. But then he looked down, a sad smile on his face. "When I told her that I had seen her so many years before… when she learned that we could have been together sooner, that she could have entered our world earlier… she was furious with me."

Gar frowned. "Furious?"

"Yes. Because I gave up without giving her a chance to know there was something to fight for."

"But… if she didn't know, how could she be mad about it?"

"Because when we were finally together and it was so right… knowing that we missed that for so many years because I was too damn scared to love someone who didn't love me back… it made us both angry."

His father leaned towards him, his eyes bright and intense. The crow's feet at the corners of his eyes were growing deeper, and Gar almost teased him about it, but something in his father's gaze stopped him.

"There is no shame in loving someone who does not love you back, Gar. It is the greatest gift you can give another person. Whether they appreciate it or not, YOU are right to have done it. YOU are right to offer it. To value someone who does not value you so highly… that is not weakness," he scoffed, his nose scrunched and lip curling in disgust at the thought. "It takes far more strength to offer love that might be rejected. I do not claim it is without pain. But if you can endure that pain, your heart is open and free. The giving of love offers more to your life than the receiving of it, do you know that, Gar?"

Gar blinked. "Um…. No?"

"I'm glad you'll admit that. My mother tried to have this conversation with me when my father died, and I refused to hear her. You will do better than me if you can hear me and take action.

"So I will say it again: If you love her, if the bond is real for you, and if you value her and her life, show it. Give it. Endure the pain of rejection—your love is not trampled underfoot. Your gestures might be. Your words may be dismissed. But the love you offer lives within you. And it is a beautiful thing. The heart that continues to love after others harm it, that is the heart that beats with the strength of the Creator Himself.. You will never be stronger than the day you offer yourself to another who does not appreciate what they have been given."

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