The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 156: Meals and Deals

Rowan Keep looked less like a military fortress than it did a pile of building materials. All around the walls were large piles of stone, gravel, sand, and timber. Piles of dirt and clay that were dug from the foundations of the new walls rose high in several places. However, the two roads that led up to the keep were clear, and two hungry travelers had no trouble walking up to the western gate.

Corporal Gustavus was on duty and was plainly happy to see Ozzy and Suzette, "Well, well. We have distinguished visitors from our neighboring village. Look sharp lads, you have them to thank for your new armor." He bowed low to Suzette and then shook hands with Ozzy.

Ozzy had actually noticed that the Corporal and three legionnaires were all outfitted in re-inforced sedge bull armor. He'd been told the dark red leather was normally reserved for officers because of the fire resistance it offered. But with the huge number of hides coming from Sedgewick it seemed that even the privates were getting upgrades - which is why some of the smiles were genuinely for Ozzy, and not all for Suzette.

"Good to see you again, Gus."

The gate guards moved to either side. The corporal waved them through, "I won't keep you with small talk. I suspect you are looking for dinner. Head straight through the main courtyard and out the front gate. It will save you a long walk through the construction. The merchants have been expanding their little fair and there's always something decent cooking now. But my recommendation is to visit Merchant Kallvek's stall. He's added a large tent for dining and cooking meals. Quite popular with many of your fellow workers."

Suzette turned to Ozzy, "Let's go visit Kallvek. I have some things to chat with him about already."

Gustavus chuckled, "Always more efficient to kill two wyverns with one ballista." After the two workers had left the guards noticed him wincing as he massaged his hand. Gus was notorious for trying to get a good grip when shaking hands, and it was obvious he'd lost this round to the Butcher.

The merchant fair was actually starting to live up to its name. When the workers and players had first started arriving, the rag-tag group of vendors outside the South gate had mostly been there to supply some basic gear and give out some starter quests. Now, instead of a dozen small tents there were at least fifty and several of those were set up to sell food. Word was obviously spreading to the rest of the world. As players poured into the far North, the merchants followed.

Many of them waved to Suzette and told her to stop by later. A Dungeon Keeper with magical items was always a welcome customer. One small man at a tent with no customers hurried over to talk to her, visibly anxious. "Lady Suzette! How nice to see you! How are my snails doing? Do people like them? Will you be needing more?"

Ozzy looked over at the tent that Merchant Vodspaller had left unattended. Simple shelves held row upon row of brown crockery pots in various sizes. Most held a quart of his fine snails, but he also had some pots the size of a small barrel, strangely labeled 'Party Pot! What's more fun than a barrel of snails?' The sign at the front of the tent had a badly drawn snail with a slime trail and the words 'Vodspaller’s Famous Eating Snails'. Ozzy had tried his snails. They were quite good. The problem wasn't with the escargot, it was the marketing.

Suzette had seen the signs as well. She beamed at the small man, "Why, Merchant Vodspaller, so nice to see you! And yes, some of my customers enjoyed your snails. We're slowly going through the batch we purchased from you. The north just isn't known for its fine crawlers though, so there are not many customers who are familiar with them. Still, I get a few to try them now and then."

The snail merchant considered her words, "I was hoping they would be more popular. My family was overjoyed at the income I brought in last time from the magical items you traded. They decided to simply send me the rest of the year’s crop and I have over a thousand quarts, plus way too many Party Pots. The local adventurers don't seem too adventurous in their eating habits. I was sort of hoping you might be up for another trade?"

Suzette looked at Ozzy, not wanting to ruin a night out with trading. Ozzy grinned, "You make deals when the deals are in front of you, not when convenient." He entered the merchant’s tent and set down his large leather bag in a spot blocked by a rack of snail pots. It sunk into the ground a few inches. It was quite heavy at the moment. Ozzy could pack it, but he was being very careful where he stepped, and was leaving deep foot-prints.

Suzette started taking out items from the bag and laying them on a table at the front of the merchant’s tent. "You’re saying you have a thousand pots plus the large ones? Our last deal was 200 of the quart-sized crocks for two magical items. Now, I understand that you were making me a very good deal at the time. Normally I'd never ask the same of such a distinguished merchant, but then again, this is a large load of cuttlefish to take on a moment’s notice."

The small merchant tried to calm himself. All his hard-learned lessons on dealing were melting every time this girl smiled. Plus, he hadn't sold a snail in days! "I am willing to hear your offer ma'am. I have faith that it will be close to what I need with little in the way of dickering."

Suzette was pointing to the items, "All of these are enchanted items. Tell me what you think.

Enchanted Sword of Bile: +10 damage to monsters, +30 damage to humans you don't like.

Magical Stone-Wrought Shield: +10 mitigation, double normal weight, immune to Rustblight.

Citrine Necklace: Grants +2 INT, -1 AGI

Stomper's Boots: Heavy Work boots, +10 mitigation to damage to the feet, +20 Damage with kicks and stomps.

Mace of Face Smashing: +20 damage, knocks out opponents’ teeth on a critical hit.

Breastplate of the Heavens: Always shines brightly and automatically casts the cleanse cantrip on wearer's clothing and hair.

Thrifty Bow: This otherwise normal bow creates its own slightly-enchanted arrows on command. Saves on ammunition.

Potion of Skittering: Increases stealthy, crafty movement for 1 hour. 10 doses.

Vodspaller perused the items, becoming excited as he looked at them, but ultimately shook his head no, "I'm sorry, it's a good lot of items, but I'd need a little more."

Suzette looked at Ozzy, who nodded and brought forth a barrel. The wood was dark and smelled of a smokehouse. He pulled off the wooden lid and a wonderful smell started to spread, getting the attention of everyone nearby.

Suzette took a snail-skewer from the merchant's stall and speared a chunk of meat, handing it to the merchant. "This is slow-smoked bacon flavored with maple and peppercorns. The meat has a good amount of mana and can be similar in use to a simple mana potion. That's 150 pounds of Tier 2 bacon, with an average of 16 slices per pound."

Merchant Vodspaller closed his eyes as he chewed the tasty meat treat. He watched his mana start to rise. Even his mana regen was slightly better, "Very nice. A versatile good to have. Either for a good breakfast, or to sell outside a dungeon to adventurers. I accept, and am very happy with the deal. Will you need a wagon for the snails?"

Ozzy opened the bag wider. "No need. I can just toss all of these in the bag." He began to gather armfuls of crockery pots and dump them into the bag.

Suzette turned to the snail merchant. "I'm sure that I can count on your discretion."

Vodspaller watched as rack after rack was cleared with no signs of the bag filling up. "Oh, indeed. Such items are valuable. You have my word about keeping the knowledge to myself. If your dungeon ever gives you something similar, please contact me. I know many ways to sell such for top price."

Fifteen minutes later snails were no longer for sale, and Clement Vodspaller was packing up his load of magic items, bacon barrel, and merchanting tent into his wagon. He planned to be on the road by dawn when a few other merchants were leaving. He was thankful that his snails kept for years, preserved in their sealed crockery. That would give the little tavern keeper time to sell them. This had been a great deal for his family, he would have taken just the magic items, but you never took the first deal. The bacon was pure profit added to a good deal.

Ozzy was glad that things placed in the sack didn't move around. Whatever magic was in the bag seemed to keep things in their own spot. Otherwise loading a thousand jars of snails would have taken a couple of wagons and several days. "How good of a deal was that? Do you sell many snails at the tavern?"

Suzette was happy with the deal, "More and more. People are getting to like them. And you should see the dwarves and any of Johannes' weird friends tear into them. They'll go through several crocks in a night while arguing politics and drinking. This is a great deal. I only get a fraction of the gold an item sells for if I give them to Layla. The snails will sell for three or four times what I would have gotten from her, and she's slow to pay. This cuts ACME out of the deal. And bacon is free!"

Ozzy rolled his eyes, "It was free to you! I have to pay for the barrel, all the salt, seasonings, peppercorns, and maple syrup."

Suzette patted his arm, "Don't worry. We'll go shopping to refresh your larder. I have to keep my little bacon maker happy. Let's go see what Kallvek is serving. I'm starving."

Merchant Kallvek's tent was quite busy. He had stuffed it with a huge assortment of goods. He was standing in the center, wearing his usual fur coat and hat, making deals and harassing customers. When he saw Suzette, he smiled widely, showing off several gold teeth, "Ah, my favorite dungeon and tavern keeper. And from what I hear, now the mayor. We should talk. But first, come eat with me. I hired a new chef and she is fabulous."

He led them to a small pavilion next to the main merchanting tent. The pavilion was light and airy, the canvas of the roof made of yellow and red material that puffed as the wind blew the light fabric around. Four tables were across from a small firepit that was heating a large grill. Behind the grill was the chef. Neither Ozzy nor Suzette had seen one of her race before. She was only three feet tall, with reptilian features and golden orange scales. A small tail poked out from beneath her dress and apron.

Kallvek seated them and then lowered his voice, "Myrna is a kobold from across the shining desert. Her people are renowned as cooks. I hired her away from a caravan master. She's an expert with her knives and just wait until you taste the food! Some sort of fire shaman, I think. I had to get a special fire-resistant cloth for her tent. The first one burned the first time she fired up her grill."

The little chef had a raised platform to stand on. From a cage she took a live lizard, looked at it, and quickly cut off its head. Tossing it to the cutting board she brought out four more victims, inspected them, kept three and let one go, throwing it out into the night. In only a minute her flashing knifes skinned, and de-boned the lizards, leaving a pile of thin cuts of meat.

Ozzy stared in awe - she was using precise cuts, choice cuts, flensing and several other skills. Next, she prepared vegetables, then tossed everything to the grill where it sizzled. She turned and flipped the meat and other ingredients around, added a sauce and sprinkled spices, seemingly at random. It smelled spectacular.

Many small bowls were filled and she gestured to Kallvek, "Eat, Eat, Hot!"

All the people present started eating and were not disappointed. She started a second batch, this time with cuts of meat from a cooler and using different ingredients. It was only after four courses that everyone was full. She set aside her knives and spatula and bowed. Kallvek clapped, "Spectacular as always Myrna, you get better with each meal."

The small chef preened under his flattery. Ozzy ventured a question, "You have special skills for grilling? I just started. Do you give lessons?"

Faster than he could react to her, Myrna leaped on top of Ozzy's table and grabbed one of his hands. She bared her teeth and hissed. "Fat Fingers! Too Fat! Sausage Fingers! No skill! Good only for hacking at food, burning it. Go away butcher of food, there is no skill I could teach you!" She slammed her spatula on Ozzy's hand in disgust.

Suzette sputtered at the creature in front of her, "Hey, he cooks just fine." Before she could continue the kobold grabbed one of her hands, "These good fingers. Skillful, small. Could maybe teach you to cook. Maybe not. No fire in you. No fire at all! Useless!" She jumped back behind the table and began sharpening her knives.

Kallvek's voice filled the uncomfortable silence, "You know what they say, the more eccentric the chef, the better the food."

Suzette took another look at the kobold, "Damn, no wonder the food is good then."

The merchant paused, then turned in his chair, "Now that dinner is officially over, I wonder if we have any business to attend to. I hear I already missed out on a load of miscellaneous items to the snail vendor. But I have faith that you have something good left for me."

Suzette nodded and Ozzy pulled a set of knives from the bag.

Boar Tusk Blades

This matched set of magical blades was created from the slashing tusks of a large Hellpig. Excellent for both slashing and goring your victims. The handle is constructed of Ironwood covered in the leather of a sedge bull. These Tier 2 weapons do an additional 20 points of damage and count as both Long Knives and Short Swords. Additional damage from bleeding takes just a small twist of the wrist.

Scrimshaw by Roland Duck Lord

Leatherworking by Ozymandias

Woodworking by Georgette

The merchant turned the blades over and over, inspecting every bit of them, "Very nice. I like the little butterflies carved on the blades. Am I correct in saying this is something your village made, versus looting from a dungeon?"

Suzette nodded to him, "Several of us were needed to turn the tusks into the items, but we can possibly make more if these sell well. I have another item also," She handed him a wand about a foot and a half long.

Ironwood Wand with Dark Steel caps

A sturdy wand for a beginning magician or sorceress. The rugged materials will handle arcane overloads better and are resistant to damage. Bonus for spells using metal, wood, or nature affinities.

"Easily sold to the universities, but they generally like to buy beginner wands in bulk. Could you make more?"

"Quite a few more. What is your offer for knives and wands?" Suzette had been worried. Johannes had insisted there would be a market for the wands. He said he'd buy some himself when their college reopened. It was nice to see he had been correct.

Kallvek considered, "Are you still in need of foodstuffs? I can offer you one-third of the price I sell these for as credit towards supplies for your town, at medium market rates."

Suzette laughed, "Not nearly good enough. You buy the food stuffs at wholesale from other merchants. And knives and wands don't go stale, or out of style. Seventy-five percent sounds fairer."

It was Kallvek's turn to laugh, "Fairer for one side, I think. But I believe there is room here for all of us to profit. I propose I take fifty percent of what I sell your items for, and buy you what you need at Low market prices. I, of course, have the costs of transport."

That was good enough for Suzette, "I agree to that. I'll get you a list. In particular there are some spices and curing salts I need a lot of - and maple syrup."

Kallvek nodded, "I smelled the bacon you traded to Clement. Would you happen to have more of that?” He turned and looked at the Butcher.

Ozzy met his gaze, "Yup. Three more barrels packed tight. And I have something special I want you to see."

"Oh. I always like special. Please show me."

Ozzy brought out a much smaller cask. The lid was cut in half and hinged with a clasp. He carefully opened it and pulled out a large chunk of reddish bacon. Suzette had moved back a good ten feet. The stuff reeked of hot peppers and whisky with enough dark mana to make her stomach squeamish.

"Oh my. Is that what I think it is? Mage's Delight? The orcs call it Burny Death Bacon.

Before Ozzy could answer, Myrna suddenly appeared next to the merchant, tearing the bacon out of his hand, and had shoved it all into her mouth. Ozzy saw that she had very sharp teeth.

"Good! Good! Spicyhot! Dwarfpisss-notberry? Peppers? Mana? Soaked in Dark and Fire. Tasty good." She chewed and swallowed it down in only a couple of seconds before commenting on the taste. Then she put both hands on her stomach and looked distressed.

With little warning Myrna tilted up her head and burped! - loudly! A huge ball of fire erupted from her throat, rising up to the top of the light canopy. Fire and hot air lifted the canopy, tugging on the ropes and pulling stakes from the ground. Before for anyone could stop it, the lighted red and yellow canopy floated up into the sky taking ropes, tent-poles, and stakes with it. As it sailed away it was visible for miles, causing quite a few rumors of impending doom.

The little kobold turned to Ozzy, "Maybe worth teaching. Make sausage fingers into nimble fingers first! Then teach."

Lucky You! Myrna-Od-Ata of the Fire Crested Tribe has offered you a Quest!

Raise your Dexterity to 12 and she will teach you more about grilling and trade recipes with you.

She turned to Kallvek before going back to her grill, "Good Bacon. Buy. And need new tent!"

Kallvek turned to Ozzy, "We have a deal. But I need a stiff drink before we discuss price."

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