The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 167: Chicken and Dumplings?

Hatchet in hand, Suzette headed to the chicken coop and its over-abundance of roosters. Lots of hens meant lots of eggs, but extra roosters just meant trouble. As she started to enter the fenced in area next to the coop, she saw a small sign on the gate post. A piece of scrap wood had a message scratched into it.

Beeware of Chik-kunz

"Oh, no. We are not starting down that path." The small sign was promptly cut in two by her hatchet, and she entered the yard and began hunting down roosters. The first one stood his ground with a determined look in his eye, wings spread and standing on one leg. She grabbed it by the neck, endured its scratching, and cut off its head on the wooden chopping block in the middle of the yard. Letting the body run around headless, she scanned the rest of the flock. "Who's next?"

One messy rooster death was enough to break the spirit of the revolution. The old rooster leaped to the fence, and then to the safety of the top of the coop. When a younger rooster followed, the wily old survivor kicked him off to land at Suzette's feet. Two down.

The hens were only too happy to have a good rooster-slaughter underway. They formed a posse that pecked and harassed the two young roosters hiding in the coup until they ran out to their doom. They led Suzette on a good chase, but eventually both were captured and beheaded. With a bloody axe in one hand and the necks of four headless roosters in the other she turned to find Titania, Johannes, Tommaso, and Volminous watching her. Titania was leading them in some mild applause. "It's so good to see that I'm not the only one running around killing things with a bloody axe. If that battle is over, can we talk a bit of business with you?"

Suzette looked at her apron and dress covered in blood and chicken feathers. Someday she was going to find a way to learn that cantrip of Ozzy's. "Sure, let me toss these in the kitchen and I'll be right with you." The strange group of sages who claimed to be the remnants of a college rarely agreed upon anything. If they were all needing to talk to her at once, then it must be important.

Suzette rather liked the group. Besides a willingness to spend a lot of gold renting her rooms and buying food, they were each likeable in their own strange way. Plus, they were willing to talk and knew things. She had picked up quite a few hints about alchemy and magic from them. Johannes was polite and cheerful, Titania manic and violent, Volminous loved his food and experimenting with the unknown, and the twins were shy but prone to puns and practical jokes they played on the others.

She liked the effect they had on the players coming into the tavern. She'd worried early on about the players taking over her business simply through sheer numbers. The faculty were firmly ensconced and threw the players a bit off guard. No one was going to start a bar fight with several crazed alchemists sitting at the next table over chewing on snails.

Runt was doing dishes for Betty. Suzette set the roosters on one of the wooden tables. "Can you let Betty know I'll be back to cook these up in a bit? Thanks." The apprentice butcher nodded shyly to her. She took a moment to wash up and get a new apron before stepping out the back door to talk to Johannes and his faculty.

"Ok, what can I do for you all? Is this tavern-keeper stuff or mayor stuff?"

Johannes spoke for the group. "I think both? We wish to discuss the use of rooms upon your third floor, and possibly an arrangement. May we show you what we require?"

Suzette followed them up to the third floor with its odd assortment of rooms. Johannes gestured to the door of what was now called the laboratory. "This discussion started as we were all agreeing on how useful our mutual lab assistant was. Young Zephyr has been quite helpful. She was obviously well trained by her father and I think all of us have made use of her help in the lab on one day or another. We have all felt that she would be an excellent student when we reopen our college. In the meantime, in addition to teaching her when we can, we have offered her a small stipend to account for her time. The girl is putting in many hours of work, and it must be taking away from her time as your employee in the tavern."

Suzette struggled not to chuckle. Zephyr had told her many times that she would gladly pay to continue as their lab assistant. Her knowledge of alchemy was increasing very fast, and moving in a dozen different directions. Her father, Aliester had given her a solid grounding in theory, and now she was gaining the practical skills of her profession.

"We certainly were planning on offering her a position when we reopened the college in Gadobhra. Unfortunately, that seems like it may be delayed. While we will begin construction of the upper stories soon, we had counted on access to the things stored in the lower levels when the college was shut down. But it seems that many of the lab experiments got loose, and have been breeding and reproducing. It's going to take quite a bit of work to clear out the catacombs. Reopening seemed out of the question until a recent event opened our eyes to a different possibility."

Suzette looked at the group of nervous academics. "And which recent event are we referring to?"

"He means the big melt down over at the Butcher's hell pit of doom." Titania rolled her eyes, which looked horrible as they didn't roll at the same speed. "That was so much fun it almost had me wondering about summoning another Star Spawn."

Johannes glared at her and continued. "Yes, that event. Our college conducted a lovely experiment and received recognition for it! It was an eye-opener for us all. We don't need a huge building to get started. Everything we need is right here!"

Suzette eyed the laboratory. "You want to put your college in the lab? Isn't that a bit small?"

Volminous chuckled. "I should say so! I can barely fit in the door. No, we need a bit more than that. Had you considered the use of these other two rooms? You have a lovely library that only lacks books and a bit of comfy furniture. Next to it is a perfect room for academic discussion and teaching. The three rooms together, along with the occasional use of the large meeting room give us all we need for our college to officially reopen."

Tommaso and Tommaso nodded their heads and spoke in unison. "We will simply consider the entire area as an experimental laboratory, and conduct more practical experiments as we did with the Thermal Enhancement Experiment."

Suzette could see that all of them were excited. But she had a question for them.

"That all sounds good, in theory, but you're all experienced enough to understand the difference between theory and reality. I have a business to run. Several in fact. What is the benefit to me or the town in allowing this? I know full well it will come with some downsides."

Johannes looked at the others. "Yes...we do...I mean, we try not to, but it's unavoidable if...certain things do go wrong now and then. We can promise to clean up?"

Suzette crossed her arms and tapped on dainty foot. "I need a bit more than that."

Volminous laughed. "Of course, you do. Don't we all want more? More is always better and we are happy to offer more! If we can't be enough benefit to you that it compensates you for the use of your rooms, then what kind of alchemists are we? So, ask yourself this question: How can this collection of learned academics be of use to you?"

Suzette thought that over. "First off: Free tutoring in alchemy and other skills you know, for the few of us in town that can benefit from your knowledge. Zephyr for sure, and I need to learn more potion making. Ben has some odd skills he dabbles in, and there may be others."

Titania immediately said. "Done. Can't have a college without students. What else?"

"Second: You help out in emergencies, no questions asked. Too much happens in this town and we may need help."

The Tommasso twins nodded happily. "But of course! Think what we can learn by helping? Chaos is the best time for experimenting."

Suzette wasn't sure about that, but it seemed to be the pattern lately. "And thirdly, I want you to supply me with 500 basic mana and health potions each month, to sell to adventurers. That will help with my bottom line and paying the bills. Aliester can't keep up with the demand on his own, just too many players lately."

Johannes considered that. "Hmm, can we vary it up a bit? Strength potions? Poison resist tonics? Web-in-a-bottle? There are a lot of fun potions we could experiment with, and that would keep the chore from being tedious."

Suzette liked that idea. A good variety would sell better. "I'm fine with that. Everyone likes to have fun with experimental potions now and then."

Titania looked at all of them. "So, we are all fine with this? We have a deal? I want no whining later when you have to crank out a hundred potions to make quota." All of the others nodded their heads in agreement and Titania turned back to Suzette. "Looks like we have a deal. We'll start filling up the library and get to work on that first order of potions."

The Mayor of Sedgewick, and Suzette the Lonely Tavern Keeper have agreed to host The College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magics.

The college has the use of the 3rd floor of the Sedgewick Tavern in exchange for:

-Tutoring of local alchemists, necromancers, herbologists, mycologists, and other poorly defined 'ologists.

-Help in emergencies, especially those where impromptu experimentation may be carried out.

-500 assorted potions a month. Bottles to be supplied by the town. Recycle where you can!

Johannes and the others shook hands with Suzette. She had the fingers of her other hand crossed behind her for luck. She was pretty certain she was going to need some.

Congratulations! Your town has gained a center for Higher Education!

With the addition of The College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magics your town has gained new upgrade options and is well on the way to achieving status as a Level 3 Village.

-Cost for a Level 1 Mage Guild has decreased.

-Chance of the Inquisition randomly stopping by for no reason has increased.

-Cost of liability insurance on your tavern has greatly increased. Not even Crazy Eddie will do business with you.

-Sedgewick gains 750 building points and has sent a tithe of 250 points to Gadobhra.

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