The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 250: "Not my fault"

Two cyclones fought high above in the Smoke near the border of Skye. Joe was rusty. He hadn't had access to all of his power in centuries. The curse that allowed a greater Cyclone to be bound also separated them in two. The bulk of their power was contained in a wild Cyclone, bereft of most of its intelligence and will, easily controlled by the gods of the planes and kept under control. The rest, their soul and mind, was bound to an object or individual. Joe had chosen to become a 'smoke golem' bound to one butcher after another serving their needs. Sometimes that meant killing the Butcher's enemies and supporting armies. He liked the Masters that took smoke seriously and at least tried to learn its secrets. A few had even experimented with using smoke to create magical foods, but most didn't have the patience. Eventually, they made a fatal error or got into a pissing match with some hero and lost. He'd be free for a bit to roam the conjunction until the powers that be noticed and forced him into bondage again.

He'd hated it, but he knew why it had happened. He and his brethren had been assholes and not cared at all about 'lesser beings'. When they were born, there were no little creatures running around. Cyclones and the other races of the second and third generations had been created to help with the work of forming the Conjunction and the surrounding elemental planes. With the world formed, the cyclones had nothing to do. They weren't tools used for fine work. They had the strength to push things around and break things. The next stage in creation took more finesse.

With no winds to move and no mountains to push around, they had begun to quarrel and fight among themselves, playing silly games that undid other's work. The angels divided and chose sides, starting a war (or maybe a game?) that continued to this day. The great beasts found themselves in a dispute with the dragons, and both sides suffered until an uneasy truce saw the beasts burrow deep and the dragons make a home in the great mountains. Things were a mess for quite some time until the higher powers stepped in to force order onto their rebellious children and helpers. The new gods of the planes dealt with the greatest cyclones by binding them and separating their power from their will. The curse affected all of their descendants as well. Djinn, elementals, and cyclones of all types were susceptible to magical bindings and clever words, both those who had caused trouble and those who came later.

Joe had served dozens of Butchers. Then had come the latest butcher. Instead of some demon on a path to becoming a dungeon monster, Joe was summoned by a low-level Butcher in a small town that barely had a name. And the new guy had no idea about binding, rules, or what a smoke golem was really for. He'd wanted to smoke meat and make barbeque and bacon. That had confused Joe for a long time; he kept looking for the trap. He was still a little cautious, but he'd never found the trap. He'd decided to settle down and enjoy himself. The Butcher was agreeable to his suggestions and caused enough trouble that Joe didn't get bored. He even got stronger. Strong enough that Joe taught him about the Smoke. This 'Master' was someone he wanted to keep alive for a long time; for that to happen, Joe needed him to be stronger.

The trouble had come fast and furious in the form of small wars, fallen angels, and a Tier 4 charnel pit with a strange personality. The pit was a problem. The damned thing would eat a Tier 2 Butcher alive and keep his smoking carcass as a trophy. He needed Ozzy to get to at least Tier 3 and with some mastery of Smoke so he could control the beast better. Things were going well until Ozzy lost his temper in some fight and went berzerk, burning himself up and floating off with a rogue wind. Joe had wanted him in the Smoke, but just for a quick trip and to learn a few spells from Old Smoke. As usual, Ozzy had complicated things somehow, and now Old Joe found himself fighting some crazed human who had bound Old Smoke and stolen his power. Joe did find that part funny, and he would never let Smokey forget about it. But he had to win this fight first. Luckily, the human was unused to this level of power. Joe just had to limber up and get back to fighting form before the new guy learned to use his power.

The power of their blows sent concussions through the planes and stirred up winds in the Smoke, the Skye, and beyond. Wild cyclones came to watch, and some picked fights with each other. All hell was going to break loose soon, and Joe knew he had to end this fast before the damned gods noticed! Still, it sure felt good to cut loose for a change and remind everyone who the real monsters of the Smoke were...

"Damn it, Jack! What the hell did you do!" Evergreen was angry, and Jack had managed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was always calm and tired after exerting herself greatly. She should have been mostly asleep after the lengthy negotiations with the other planes to solve the eruption problem. Earth had been obstinate with their 'Vocanoes Happen' logic. Fire was annoyed but also having fun seeing Smoke and Skye scrambling to deal with the heat. Sea and their allies were trying to gain the most they could from Evergreen's need for Thunderheads. Tired from dealing with the effects of the incursion from earth and fire, exhausted from politics, she had then had to expend much power to bind and control the willful Cyclones needed to convey moisture to the Smoke.

She should have been tired and in need of a shoulder to lean on. Instead, she held Jack by the throat as his feet dangled above the ground. "Not my fault! I don't even know what happened!" The green-skinned goddess of life and rebirth stared at him for a long minute and then released him. Before Jack could flee, he was bound in the tree's roots that made up her throne.

"What you did, is meddled. You marked two humans, and they've been causing mischief and making things happen." Her remarks made Jack happy. That was exactly what he'd hoped for. Both of the mortals in question showed strong potential. And humans were always causing things to happen. It was why they needed more gods looking out for them than any other race. Eventually, if they did enough, they'd run into Blackgut, and maybe his big problem would be solved.

He tried to look innocent as he said. "All good, I should hope? All I did was rescue two ship-wrecked sailors and help them deal with the heat from that horrible eruption. Really, anything they did is that volcano's fault."

Evergreen began to list off events. "They found one of the Seven Swords and have tangled the lines of fate."

Jack smiled. "Not my fault. The little Captain had it on him when we first met. It was one of the things that drew my notice and convinced me to save him. Just helping a poor sailor as our brother Palaimon always asks us to do."

Evergreen continued as if Jack hadn't spoken. "They completed Shipwrecker's quest after making contact with one of the great whales. I find it too much of a coincidence. The whales had almost forgotten about him. Now they sing the old songs and talk about sending their young out on quests to destroy human ships!"

Jack was a little surprised by that one. How did a human kill that many ships? But not his problem. "Well, I think I can prove my innocence again. They had taken up whale riding before I ever met them."

The goddess glared at him and held up a third finger."They aided the Kraken, acting as bait, and helped kill five Thunderheads!" The goddess was furious now. "Do you know the cost I'll have to pay for their deaths?" The roots began to tighten, and small fingers of wood encircled Jack's neck.

Familiar laughter filled the room as Aeto'le appeared, emerging from a pool of smoke. The goddess of predators strolled into the room as if she owned it and leaned on her harpoon. "It was grand! I watched all of it. The Kraken had set a trap for your Dunderheads, and the Cyclones jumped at the chance to pursue a small human ship. When the first ambush happened, it was so fast that the death scream froze the other nearby cyclones, and two more died! It serves them right for being clumsy hunters. You must be more careful when sending those idiots near the Smoke. We breed predators here, both large and small."

Jack was curious. "That's only three. What else happened?"

Aeto'le speared a ripe fruit from a dish and ate it off her harpoon. "Then it gets interesting. Did you know that you trapped ships inside your ring of raining death, cousin? Did you forget what steam does to creatures on the surface and even beneath?"

Evergreen closed her eyes. "I heard the prayers. Over and over, but what was I to do? I had to save hundreds of thousands that would have died on the islands."

"I heard their prayers too." Palaimon appeared from a shadow, his starved and ill-kept appearance looking better than the last time Jack had seen him. "It's always about the islands with their teeming populations. But they depend on the seas. And the men that ride the seas take great risks. You left a Great Ship there. A Great Ship! Eight-hundred souls all needing rescue. Some of them live only because one of mine found them and made me proud by rescuing them!"

Jack nodded and tried to look proud and fatherly. "Exactly why I helped rescue little Woodrat. I know you loved him. I couldn't leave him to roast in that awful heat, not when a good and faithful first mate could save his Captain with just a little guidance."

Palaimon inclined his head. "And I thank you for that, Jack, it was well done, and Woodrat and his Mate have now rescued hundreds more from shipwreck, or worse."

"At the cost of two more dead Thunderheads." Evergreen leaned her head back and closed her eyes."

Jack appealed to Aeto'le. "Story, please? How did they do it."

The huntress sat down in front of him and stared at him with her dead, black eyes. "It was wonderful. The humans sent a message to the Kraken, wishing for an alliance. My many-armed children took them into their shoal and used them as bait. The humans taunted and played with the twisters until they were tricked into the water, and the Kraken could feast on their winds."

Aeto'le grew excited, jumping up and acting out the scene, snaring a potting plant on the ceiling and using a chain to slam it to the floor next to Jack. "Oh, you should have seen it! The big one chained a cyclone and threw it into the water! I see why my cousin likes him. I already visited her to tell the stories of his great hunts."

Jack looked over at Evergreen. She was finally calming down and about to sleep, despite the damage done by Aeto'le. "So I'm innocent. It was the desperation of trapped sailors and the cunning plans of hungry Kraken."

Evergreen looked at his pleading face. Despite the trouble he caused, she was always drawn to him. She represented life and order. Jack was chaos and shepherding the dead back to life. It would always be a complicated relationship. "Very well, Jack, I release you, but if the ones you marked cause me problems again, you will pay the bill, not me."

Jack stood up and bowed. "Understood. I'll find them and talk to the lads. Maybe help the Butcher find his way home. He saved a Great Ship, after all."

Before Jack could get out of the room, thunder rolled across the sky again and again. The border between Skye and Smoke began dissolving as the storm mixed the planes together. Lightning bolts and gouts of fire shot across the sky. In the distance, two gigantic black Cyclones made war on each other, shaking all of the Smoke.

All eyes turned to Jack.

The god in question wasn't quite sure what he had done and was going over all the moves he had made. None involved Old Joe at the height of his strength, dueling with someone who had stolen Old Smoke's power.

Evergreen wasn't sleepy anymore, and Jack wondered how he'd talk his way out of this one. He didn't even try and raced away, looking for Woodrat and Ozzy. Aeto'le grabbed Palaimon by the arm and dove into the smoke. Evergreen drew strength from the islands to rejuvenate herself and followed behind Palaimon. Aeto'le would be hunting Jack if only to laugh at what trouble he got into.

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