The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Chapter 221: Ultimate Weapon

Translator: imperfectluck Editor: Pranav

The scene of the battlefield was akin to fire mixed with water, but an existence that couldn’t bear being lonely suddenly reminded me of its presence.

[If you’re going to dig an underground tunnel to the Elemental Throne that’s deep underground, then here’s the question: Which method of bulldozing is the strongest…]

“The hell with the strongest! Always going on about digging and bulldozing, aren’t you tired of overusing this joke yet?”

Fine then, ever since I reincarnated yet again, my System had been rather overactive. I was already getting tired of this same joke over and over again.

[Learn how to cook at New East Cuisine! Apart from not teaching how to cook using bulldozers, we have every cooking subject you can think of.]

“In the end, you’re still going with bulldozers! Do you really like this joke that much?”

[Learn IT, it’ll be easy to find a job if you go to Aptech; specialists here will teach the newest electronic bulldozing techniques!]

“Forget it, it’s still bulldozing. There’s going to be no end to this if I pay attention to you. Ignoring you, ignoring you.”

I decisively ended commenting to that mysterious voice (fine, my System) as I made an effort on focusing on the problem at hand.

“Cough, we should all get serious. We’re currently in a battle.”

“Aren’t you the only one not being serious?”

Indeed, everyone else’s dissatisfaction showed on their faces. Even Margaret had a complaining expression as it was difficult for even her to control such a large-scale magic array here. This magic array was all thanks to her, and she even had to focus on controlling her cannon fodder and placing traps, dividing her attention through multitasking.

I suppose that everyone else was busy fighting but I was lazing around and talking to myself really seemed bad, but right now there was no helping it even if I wanted to do anything about it.

Emordilorcan was now stuck and surrounded heavily by too many people that wanted him gone. The moment he had gotten stuck, both sides of the battlefield had rushed over to him.

“As long as I get rid of him, I’ll be the next Earth Elemental God!” This was the direct type.

“Emordilorcan, it’s time for my revenge for my grandfather/father/brother’s death!” This was the revenge type, but weren’t they a bit too many? Was Emordilorcan so evil? If they wanted to rebel against him, couldn’t they come up with any other excuses?

“Gulugulu.” Fine, this one couldn’t even speak the common language of this world.

The ones who gave it their all were most likely all the Earth Elemental Lords. Although it was quite obvious that they were saving their true power and armies just earlier, they had now sent in all their forces to rush their mutual enemy, competing to be the first to steal away Emordilorcan’s Divine Soul and divine power. All the venerated Elemental Lords had basically gone into combat personally.

Various gargoyles and SemiDragons clashed against each other in the skies, and huge creatures such as giants and earth elemental warlords were everywhere. Earth elemental creatures were typically on the large and strong side, so this was a battle that belonged to the giants.

The entire continent trembled and the mountains shivered as they fought with each other. However, the Earth Elemental God was never one who had the habit of hiding and running off.

*Boom!*

Another heavy punch from Emordilorcan sent a tower giant flying and viciously crashing into a distant mountainside cliff, causing a large portion of the cliff to collapse.

One punch from Emordilorcan sent everything to their deaths, with Camdian as the only exception. Emordilorcan used his own combat strength to show us his astonishing power. At the very least, this old dog was still filled with a mouthful of sharp teeth.

Even in a heavily injured state, Emordilorcan was still ridiculously strong. His punch that defeated Camdian in a single blow had even slightly ripped a tear between dimensions. He had used pure physical might to break the space between dimensions. The moment I saw this scene, I unhesitatingly abandoned any thoughts of engaging him in melee combat.

“He used pure physical might and reached the dimensional level by breaking through between dimensions, is this the legendary “martial arts surpassing the void?” If he wasn’t injured, would he literally be able to “battle through the heavens?” Yes, this is a reference to BTTH, another Qidian novel. [1] 1

“Young ones, taste my dimension-tearing fist!”

Fine then, I won’t comment on his strange naming sense, nor will I use science to analyze just how much power is required to break through dimensions with physical force alone. This clearly unreasonable fact was indisputably shown right before my eyes.

Emordilorcan was currently using his true body, and the Elemental Throne was increasing his power to the point that it was nearly limitless. He was on a completely different scale here compared to his incarnation in the mortal plane.

Even if Poison God Felix appeared in front of him here, I felt that Felix would die in just two punches.

Yet no matter how strong Emordilorcan was, or how much the difference in power was between them, Camdian, who was also an Elemental God, couldn’t possibly admit defeat so easily in front of everyone watching.

“Camdian is so useless. He was beaten half to death by a single punch from Emordilorcan, and then ran off just like a coward.”

If such a news ended up being spread around, Camdian would be basically finished as the Wind Elemental God. Not a single Wind Elemental Lord under his command would ever follow such a leader.

“Taste the fury of thunderstorms!”

Countless amounts of thunder were summoned, transforming into arrow bolts that continuously crashed into Emordilorcan’s head. It forcefully caused cracks to appear.

It was evident that Camdian had learned from his earlier mistake and abandoned his foolish idea of engaging in melee combat with the Earth Elemental God. Instead, he decided to use long-range magic to bombard his ancient enemy.

Endless amounts of rebellious earth elemental creatures surrounded Emordilorcan and kept him busy, while Camdian was in a safe faraway location summoning all sorts of thunder, which was both safe and attention-grabbing. If this allied army defeated Emordilorcan, Camdian could even earn a nice reputation from this little show.

However, it was evident that he had still underestimated his opponent.

With just an instantaneous flash movement and a slam with the force of a mountain, Emordilorcan actually broke the laws of physics and landed directly on top of Camdian’s head. He then pounded Camdian with an extravagant series of techniques.

“Mount Tai pressing on top, chopping through Hua Mountain, shoulder throw, chest throw, back pin, rabbit stomping the eagle, waist throw, iron bridge, deep water explosion… I never expected that Emordilorcan had been a member of the Wrestling League as well.”

“You even have the spare time for running commentary? Hurry up and help out! Emordilorcan will be even more difficult to deal with once he breaks free. Damn it, he actually even had an instant movement ability.” Amelia was in a very bad mood. When she heard that Emordilorcan was an expert in melee combat, she had intended to face him head on as she was also similarly skilled in this aspect, but now that she had seen his expert martial arts skills, she knew that she had no chance of victory.

“Relax, the larger the mass, the more energy it takes to make it move instantaneously. If he could use his instant movement ability as he pleased, he would have long since gotten rid of Kaid who’s casting that forbidden spell. And since he’s heavily injured, at least he won’t have the energy to sustain his maximum output for very long.”

“You think I’m worried? None of this matters to me whether this is a win or a loss. I’m just curious how he reached this level of physical power. When we defeat him, I’m going to take part of his muscle structure as my research material. Give me at least an arm or a leg. If you don’t agree, I’m going to go on strike right here and now.”

Fine then, I was incredibly mistaken to even think that Amelia could have been worried about me and the combat situation. This was the witch’s true nature.

“Eh? Your assumption was correct. Emordilorcan indeed became weaker after using instant movement.”

As I expected, even if Camdian was getting beaten up, he actually wasn’t injured as heavily as the one punch from earlier. He wasn’t even defeated yet; he even had the spare time to occasionally counterattack.

However, watching my ally get beaten up was no winning method, which was why I activated the next step of my plan earlier than originally planned.

“Beifeng, are you not ready yet?”

What I heard through my gnome-provided communication device was a certain individual’s advertisement.

“…Bullbullbullbullbullbulldozing! Who’s the best? Who’s—who’s—who’s the best? Find Beifeng of the Gentleman Alliance, and you can also fulfill your dream of immigrating to East Mist for the low price of 998! That’s right, 998! You didn’t hear wrong! It’s not 8888 or 88888, for merely 998, you can learn Beifeng’s secret techniques of bulldozing beast taming!”

“Do you all love bulldozers that much? Will this joke ever end!?”

After my angry roaring, he finally quieted down, with only the sounds of digging to be heard.

“Um, Your Highness, it’s rather dark underground. I was just singing to keep my morale up.” Only a while later did I hear the sound of Beifeng attempting to explain to me.

“Hmph! I thought that you were having too much fun with those Giant Sand Worms and forgot your task. Did you invent some new method to have fun? Were you too busy having fun? Should I apologize for interrupting your fun?”

“…”

“Hey, hey, don’t fall silent at this time! Could it be that I was actually right about my guess! Hey, say something! This is making me really uncomfortable!”

Fine then, let’s not care too much about the little details as long as it involves Beifeng; otherwise, this book will get banned sooner or later for indecency…

But, Beifeng quickly gave me a report. Emordilorcan’s old nest was being protected by his divine power. Incredibly hard stone layers caused the Sand Worms’ digging to progress rather slowly, and time would be necessary. The only part to celebrate about was that since we didn’t take the underground labyrinth this time, instead digging straight to our goal, we already avoided many traps and obstacles. The only obstacle remaining was the ridiculously tough stone layers.

In fact, I had used this distraction tactic against Emordilorcan before already, but who cared? A strategy was fine as long as it worked.

“I now know the approximate location of the Elemental Throne; it’s about three hundred meters underground. But the closer we get, the denser the earth element becomes. It’s going to take some time to reach it by digging.

“Three hundred meters? It’s about what we expected. How long will it take you to reach there?”

“Probably about two or so hours.”

I took a glance at Emordilorcan who was currently giving us a show of fighting a “tiger” while empty-handed and helplessly shook my head. If I really waited for two hours, perhaps all of our allies would be dead.

“There’s not enough time; activate Plan B.”

“Are we really going to activate Plan B? That Plan B is a little too risky.”

“I’m certain about it! Hurry up and activate it.”

“Are you sure? Can’t you reconsider? It’s too dangerous!”

“We must use it. It’s the best method for us currently, not to mention this plan isn’t dangerous at all. At such a critical moment, time is of the essence, so why are you just hemming and hawing here?”

After a moment of silence, I thought that he was beginning to put my plan into action, but I didn’t expect that he spoke up again in a sheepish tone.

“…Just what exactly is Plan B? There were too many words so I didn’t read it earlier, and it is too dark underground so I didn’t read it now. I just turned on a light but now I can’t find it. I probably accidentally fed the plan to one of my little cuties.”

I almost smashed the gnome communication device to pieces right then and there.

“You said all that just in order to cover up the fact that you forgot what Plan B was!? You fed it to your little cutie? Why don’t you feed yourself? It was an incredible mistake on my part to even think that you were thinking about any potential consequences of Plan B! Just you wait, when you come out, @$Y%…”

Never has anyone in history ever been able to so easily incite my anger. No wonder Town Security treated “eating, sleeping, and beating up Beifeng” as their daily schedule, as this bastard was just too skilled at making others angry.

Fine, no matter how angry I was, it was impossible for me to beat that guy up through the communication device, and I still needed him in the future. Since that bastard forgot what the plan was, then I would just have to explain it to him.

“Move in an arc and ascertain the Elemental Throne’s coordinates for me…”

I gave a huge sigh after telling him my plan.

“After we return to the mortal plane, I’m going to lock Beifeng into an exotic creatures’ zoo as an exhibit! That bastard definitely meets the standard for being an exotic creature.”

“Are you sure that it won’t be a reward instead of a punishment…”

Amelia’s reminder caused me to fall silent. A moment later, I came to a decision.

“In that case, I’ll send him over to the gray elves to help them in their reconstruction. There’s plenty of elven beauties there, and so many people want to go, but I feel that with only elven beauties next to him but the land there being so barren that not even a rabbit can be found, only that will be the most fearsome punishment of all for that bastard.”

“Your Highness! Please don’t! I’ll immediately carry out Plan B! I promise that I’ll carry out your request with high quality and efficiency. Please don’t send me to hell. If you truly insist, I prefer to remain in the Earth Elemental Plane.”

The communication device was still turned on, and Beifeng was already begging for mercy. This man who took the path never traveled actually had something he feared after all. A wonderful job that countless youngsters in the prime of youth would dream for was actually a nightmare in his eyes, and he was even willing to stay behind in this hellish Earth Elemental Plane.

“Didn’t you say that this world was hell to you?”

Before I even finished my sentence, I instantly recalled how, when I saw him last, there were so many strange-shaped creatures following him that he could open up an earth elemental creature museum. Just inferring a little at what he intended to do caused me to want to stop inferring entirely about this matter.

“Shut up and work hard. Otherwise, I’ll send you to a heaven where there’s only female elven beauties—why does this sound so wrong?”

And, currently, above our heads, a shadow had covered the battlefield below us, as a gigantic object was slowly moving.

“Is that a bird? A dwarven helicopter? It’s Superman—no—it’s a huge duck.”

Yep, this was the core of my Plan B. The Ultimate Yellow Duck.

The creation of the moving fortress Ultimate Yellow Duck was personally led by the Great Sculptor Ainslo; countless tower giants had worked on it. It was tremendous to the point that those gazing upon it from the ground could mistake it for a huge floating island.

Although there hadn’t been enough time for it to be equipped with weapons, just the characteristic of its tremendous size made it impossible to block. No matter what obstacles were in the way, it would reach its destination.

And, for it to be used directly like this, it was waiting in midair, awaiting my orders.

*Boom!*

The gigantic moving fortress’s appearance changed the combat situation entirely. Its ferocious appearance shocked every single eyewitness, and even Emordilorcan was rather shocked to see it. And when he noticed just where that duck had landed, he used his instant movement ability again to attempt to stop it.

And, just as I expected, the Ultimate Yellow Duck landed and stuck its legs into the ground as it spread its wings. It suddenly opened its huge mouth and let out an angry roar.

*Woof!*

At that moment, everyone on the battlefield paused for a moment. Perhaps it should be said that nobody expected a duck to make such a sound.

Amelia kept shaking her head.

“What amazing and astonishing design! Did you think I would say something like that? Roland! This must be your terrible interests at work again. Are you intending to embarrass yourself in multiple planes now?”

“Hmph! Foolish mortals shall never understand the marvelous designs of geniuses. Watch, this is only the beginning.”

The Ultimate Yellow Duck’s tremendous feet were solidly planted into the ground as support, and its spread wings meant they would help shift its center of gravity. Its upper half, which was beginning to tilt, was actually the best balancing mechanism. Suddenly, it bent over and mightily chucked the ground.

*Smash!*

The Ultimate Yellow Duck ate some dirt, then spat out the dirt, then ate some more dirt, and spat the dirt out again.

“You bastard! Acting so pretentious, it was just a bulldozer again! Ah, why did I say again?” Adam’s comment said what everyone was obviously thinking. They were all nodding.

[Learn bulldozing, which school is the best?] At this moment, the System couldn’t help but pop out again. Ever since I made this Plan B, it wouldn’t stop with the bulldozer jokes.

“That’s enough! This is the Ultimate Yellow Duck, an ultimate weapon and moving fortress, not some bulldozer!”

Note:

1. Yes, this is a reference to BTTH, another Qidian novel.

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