Chapter 32 He Must Be Mine, Only Mine
"Sisteeeer!" I called loudly and staggered towards my brother.
"What?" My brother held me before i fall and said.
"Why i am dizzy brother? You said that there won't be any problem if it is just a glass of wine." I said and clinged to my brother.
"I don't know, even i am little bit dizzy. It shouldn't possible for us to became like this because of our strong constitution. Someone must put something to our drinks." My brother said and pulled me closer to himself.
I slightly calmed down after feeling his firm body that would always stirs in me a feeling affection and security. Which reminded me to our past.
At first he didn't interact with me, when he was newly adopted. After 2 years he changed slightly, not much. He started to show his affection to me and teached me the way of world.
I thought the world was separated into 2, bad and good. But my brother denied this when he was 12 year old. He was always more mature than me, so i didn't think that was strange.
He said that, in this world there weren't any good or evil. There is just benefits and some disgusting stuffs.
I didn't understand this too much and i asked what did he mean it.
He laughed lightly and patted my head and started to speak. Benefit is benefit, nothing complicated and disgusting stuff is r*pe, cannibalism etc.
I asked to him that 'then why he was treating good to me'. He said making good relationship with me was beneficial to him and this made me effectively cry because i thought his affection for me was lie.
Afterwards he calmed me down and explained that, it is beneficial to him because he feels happy whenever he sees my happy smile. He said that, a person's happiness is a must for to live a good life, so it is beneficial for him.
It was very twisted way of benefit but i understand that, this was his way of making himself more comfortable without restraining himself too much.
I understood this because i knew that my brother has big abandonment trauma that completely twisted his entire thought process and making him primarily look at things in beneficial way.
I learned his trauma, when we were encountered to the bandits.
He wanted for me to get used to killing humans and i killed them without much thought. Because it seemed to me, my brother's teachings were valid and there wasn't need to guilty about some pest.
I killed the bandits, which was my first time killing human, hence i puked and cried without restraint.
My brother panicked because of it and picked me to a river and washed my face. Afterwards he cried hard and apologized while saying 'don't leave me please'.
This incident made me realize that, my brother too is human and like every human, he isn't perfect.
I thought my brother was perfect being. His looks was perfect, without single spot. His talent was high, his affinities were many. Most importantly he always does his best to protect me and shows his affection to me.
So when i understood that he isn't perfect, i began to overflow with different emotions toward my brother, as if some restraints inside me were broken apart.
I didn't understand this feelings but subconsciously i tried to became more affectionate with him and tried to make him happy. But i couldn't do it well because of my abnormally high shyness against to my brother.
I learned this feelings meanings when my brother explained puberty and when i hit the puberty.
I loved my brother, as a brother and man. I wanted my brother to myself. I wanted stand by his side forever, without leaving his side. I wanted to be one with him.
I still want him and will get him. He must be mine, no one else's.
But seeing brother being close to other girls, even though i knew that he is being close to them of just because of their connections, makes me mad. I want to kill them, torture them badly because they takes my brothers precious time.
But my brother said that 'it is for our future', hence i decided to don't kill them for now. My brother was enduring that creepy Flora whore for our future. If i can't hold back myself even for this, it would be disgrace to my brother's efforts.
While i was thinking, my lovely, caring and gentle brother was waving his hand front of my face and looking at me worriedly.
"Are you alright Lucy?"
Even his worried expression feels sweet to look at. He is caring and gentle towards me but cold and ruthless towards to others. What else would a girl wants from a man?
"What are you doing?" My brother asked to me.
I looked at him and found out that i was subconsciously rubbing his cheek affectionately.
"I don't know." I said and snuggled him more without shame.
I noticed that alcohol reduced my embarrassment by a lot. Normally i couldn't snuggled to him like this because of embarrassment. I was pressing my entire body his and he didn't tell me anything.
I wanted to confess him right now and kiss him passionately, but i was scared of his rejection.
I knew that my brother didn't care most of the rules or taboos. But what if my brother finds this kind of thing disgusting? He said that cannibalism and r*pe were disgusting but didn't said anything about killing, stealing, torture, sex and relationships between siblings. Even though he is adopted, we became siblings at age of 8. We were little, so it was natural to form a sibling bond between us and disgusted from thought of getting into relationship with your sister.
I knew that he didn't finds killing and stealing disgusting but i didn't know, if he is disgusted of sex. I didn't want to know too, because i didn't want to send a nude whore to his room at night. So that i could confirm, if he is disgusted or not.
My brother doesn't put his guard down to everyone except me. That is why i restrained my uncontrollable desire to posses him and started to seduce him slowly.
Even though my brother is the most beautiful man i know. I am great beauty too, so if i try hard in long-term, i was confident enough seduce him enough to not care about sibling relationship taboo.
While i was thinking, my brother tightined his grasp of me.
"Can you close your eyes and block your ears Lucy?" My brother asked gently but i knew that it was just suggestion.
"No need. What did you sense?" I asked and rubbed my cheek to his chest.
"Some lecherous bastards that observes us with ugly eyes." My brother said loudly with cold tone.
His cold voice sent shiver to my spine and my legs released itself from excitement. I love everything about my brother, even his cruelty and coldness.
My brother held me before i fell and looked at my condition.
After confirming my condition, he looked at me with sorry expression.
"Can you hold on for a minute?"
"Yes." I said and wrapped my arm around of him tightly.
"Who are you to dare to ambush Count Ceurie's daughter?" My brother said coldly.
Shadows moved and 6 people blocked front and back of us. I could tell that all of them were probably students of the academy because of their age and characteristics mana.
"Don't be arrogant and be quiet. If you want to die painlessly." 1 of the them said and rest of them too spouted like this sentence.
"Shut up and say your reason for this ambush." My brother said coldly and killed one of them before they noticed.
They looked at their friend that collapsed abruptly and noticed that there was a ice stuck to his eyes.
"How can you kill him? It was just a prank." 1 of them shouted.
"I can tell that they are here for you Lucy. Do you know them?" My brother asked to me.
I looked at them for a second and noticed that, all of them have 1 thing in common.
"I rejected all of their advances. The one that brother killed is Count Welfer's 5th son, Sam Welfer" I said simply.
"I think it wouldn't be problem if it's just 5th son." My brother said and nodded.
"What if i kill all of them?" My brother asked and blocked the fireball and earth spear that came with his ice wall.
"It won't be problem, all of them are low in the hierarchy." I said.
"It is good. I didn't want to any witnesses." My brother said and sent 5 ice spear to them and killed effectively 4 of them.
I looked at the last one's condition and noticed that the last one was pinned to ground with ice spear through foot.
My brother went to his side and looked at him coldly.
"Why did try to ambush to my sister?" My brother asked coldly and grabbed his neck.
"It was just prank!" He shouted.
"If it was just prank, you would do it in the academy grounds, not in the backstreet with ugly eyes." My brother said coldly and broke his neck.
"Let's go back things went sour." My brother said and walked towards to academy.
"Wait!" I called out loudly.
My brother turned towards me and looked at me with questioning look.
"Can you help me brother? I am not feeling well." I said while trembling.
My brother came to my side and picked me in princess carry position.
"I am sorry. I lost my composure for a moment. It must be hard for you." My brother said quietly.
'I can't hold myself back if he say things like this. My brother is the sweetest and most caring person.'
Fortunately he didn't continued to talk nicely and carried me to academy for 30 minutes.
He put me in my bed and turned to go back but i held his wrist.
"I am scared. Can you stay with me for this night?" I muttered quietly.
I knew that my acting was bad and couldn't deceive my brother. But i knew my brother best and he would stay with me even if he knows that i was acting.
My brother sighed and looked at my face.
'Even his sighing expression is good looking.'
"Aren't you spoiled? Well it can't be helped. But don't do anything strange because of the alcohol effect." My brother said and dismissed all of the magics on himself.
Afterwards he laid down to my side and kissed my cheek.
"Good night." My brother said and closed his eyes.
"Good night." I murmured and snuggled to him. I hugged him, put my head to his chest and slept happily.
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